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EEMINISCENCES 



OF 



SCOTTISH LIFE AND CHAEACTER. 



Printed hy R. C larky 

FOR 

EDMONSTON & DOUGLAS, EDINBURGH. 

LONDON . . . HAMILTON, ADAMS, AND CO. 

CAMBRIDGE . . MACMILLAN AND CO. 

DUBLIN . . . m'gLASHAN AND GILL. 

GLASGOW . . JAMES MACLEHOSF. 



REMINISCENCES 



OF 



SCOTTISH LIFE AND CHAEACTER 




BY 



B.(yilAMSAY, M.A., LL.D, F.RS.E. 

DEAN OF EDINBUPwGH 



THE NINETEENTH EDITION 



EDINBURGH 

EDMONSTON AND DOUGLAS 

1871 



n7/ 



y- ESTATE OF 
"WiLL;AI\fl C. R«VES 
APRIL, 1940 






CONTENTS. 



Page 
Preface vii 



Introductory 



CHAPTER I. 



CHAPTER II. 
On Religious Feelings and Religious Observances 8 

CHAPTER III. 
/ On Old Scottlsh Convivlvlity .... 47 

CHAPTER IV. 
On the Old Scottish Domestic Servant . . 69 

CHAPTER V. 

On Humour proceeding from Scottish Language, 

including Scottish Proverbs ... 85 



vi CONTENTS, 

CHAPTER VI. 

Page 
On Scottish Stories of AVit and Humour . . 158 

Conclusion 248 

Index . 259 



PREFACE TO NINETEENTH EDITION 



I HAVE been called upon by my kind friends, Messrs. 
Edmonston and Douglas, to prepare a preface to a 
19th edition of the " Eeminiscences of Scottish Life 
and Character/' 

This demand for a work which bears the marks of 
a limited and local character, and which has taken 
place during the course of little more than twelve years 
since its first publication, proves, I think, the correct- 
ness of the idea upon which it was first undertaken — 
viz. that it should depict a phase of national manners 
which was fast passing away, and thus, in however 
humble a department, might contribute something to 
the materials of history, by exhibiting social customs 
and habits of thought which at a particular era were 
characteristic of a race. It may perhaps be very fairly 
said that the Eeminiscences came out at a time specially 
suitable to rescue these features of national life and 
character from oblivion. They had hegun to fade away, 
and many had, to the present generation, become obso- 
lete. To give an example of the precarious duration of 
social habits and of those circumstances which give 
rise to anecdotes such as I have recorded in the 



viii PREFACE. 

following pages. At page 128 is an account of tlie 
pains taken by Lord Gardenstone to extend and im- 
prove his rising village of Laurencekirk ; amongst other 
devices he brought down, as settlers, a variety of arti- 
ficers and workmen from England. With these he had 
introduced a hatter from Newcastle ; but on taking 
him to church next day after his arrival, the poor 
man saw that he might decamp without loss of time, 
as he could not expect much success in his calling at 
Laurencekirk ] in fact, he found Lord Gardenstone's 
and his own the only hats in the kirk — the men all 
wore then the flat Lowland bonnet. But how quickly 
times change ! My excellent friend Mr. Gibbon of 
Johnstone, Lord Gardenstone's own place, which is 
near Laurencekirk, tells me that at the present time 
one solitary Lowland bonnet lingers in the parish. 

I ^ wish my readers always to bear in mind that 
these Reminiscences are meant to bear upon the 
changes which would include just such a revolution as 
this in the bonnet practice of Laurencekirk. There is no 
pretension to any researches of antiquarian character ; 
they are in fact Eeminiscences which come almost within 
personal recognition. A kind friend gave me anecdotes 
of the past in her hundredth year. In early life I was 
myself consigned to the care of my granduncle. Sir 
Alexander Eamsay, residing in Yorkshire, and he was 
born in 1715; so that I can go pretty far back on 
my own experience, and have thus become cognisant 
of many changes which might be expected as a con- 
sequence of such experience. 



PREFACE . ix 

Dr. Gregory (of immortal mixture memory) used to 
tell a story of an old Highland chieftain, intended 
to show how such Celtic potentates were once held 
to be superior to all the usual considerations which 
affected ordinary mortals : — The doctor, after due 
examination, had, in his usual decided and blunt 
manner, pronounced the liver of a Highlander to be 
at fault, and to be the cause of his ill-health. His 
patient, who could not but consider this as taking 
a great liberty with a Highland chieftain, roared out 
— " And what business is it of yours whether I have 
a liver or not ] '' 

An amusing application of the Scottish territorial 
denominative system to the locality of London was 
narrated to me by a friend who witnessed it. A 
Scottish gentleman, who had never been in the me- 
tropolis, arrived fresh from the Highlands, and met 
a small party at the house of a London friend. A 
person was present of most agreeable manners, who de- 
lighted the Scotchman exceedingly. He heard the 
company frequently referring to this gentleman's resi- 
dence in Piccadilly, to his house in Piccadilly, and so 
on. When addressed by the gentleman, he commenced 
his reply, anxious to pay him all due respect — "In- 
deed, Piccadilly,'' etc. He supposed Piccadilly must 
be his own territorial locality. Another instance of 
mistake, arising out of Scottish ignorance of London 
ways, was made by a North Briton on his first visit to 
the great city. He arrived at a hotel in Fleet Street, 
where many of the country coaches then put up. On 



X PREFACE. 

the following morning he supposed that such a crowd 
as he encountered could only proceed from some "oc- 
casion/'* and must pass off in due time. Accord- 
ingly, a friend from Scotland found him stand- 
ing in a doorway, as if waiting for some one. His 
countryman asked him what made him stand there] 
to which he answered — " Ou, I was just standing till 
the kirk had scaled." The ordinary appearance of his 
native borough made the crowd of Fleet Street suggest 
to him the idea of a church crowd passing out to their 
several homes, called in Scotland a "kirk scaling." A 
London street object called forth a similar simple re- 
mark from a Scotchman. He had come to London on 
his way to India, and for a few days had time to amuse 
himself by sight-seeing before his departure. He had 
been much struck with the appearance of the mounted 
sentinels at the Horse Guards, Whitehall, and bore 
them in remembrance during his Eastern sojourn. On 
his return, after a period of thirty years, on passing the 
Horse Guards, he looked up to one, and seeing him, as 
he thought, unchanged as to horse, position, and ac- 
coutrements, he exclaimed — " Od, friend, ye hae had a 
lang spell on^t sin' I left," supposing him the identical 
sentinel he had seen before he sailed. 

It is interesting to preserve national peculiarities 
w^hich are thus passing away from us. One great plea- 
sure I have had in their collection, and that is the 
numerous and sympathetic communications I have re- 
ceived from Scotchmen, I may literally say from Scotch- 
'• A term used for dispensation of the Lord's Supper. 



PREFACE. xi 

men in all quarters of the tocrrld ; sometimes communi- 
cating very good examples of Scottish humour, and always 
expressing their great pleasure in reading, when in distant 
lands and foreign scenes, anecdotes which reminded them 
of Scotland, and of their ain days of " auld langsyne." 

There is no mistaking the national attachment so 
strong in the Scottish character. Men return after long 
ahsence, in this respect, unchanged ; whilst absent, hoAv- 
ever long a time, Scotchmen never forget their Scottish 
home. In all varieties of lands and climates their 
hearts ever turn towards the " land o' cakes and brither 
Scots." Scottish festivals are kept with Scottish feel- 
ings on "Greenland's icy mountains" or "India's coral 
strand." I received an amusing account of an ebulli- 
tion of this patriotic feeling from my noble friend the 
Marquis of Lothian, who met with it when travelling 
in India. He happened to arrive at a station upon the 
eve of St. Andrew's Day, and received an invitation to 
join a Scottish dinner-party in commemoration of old 
Scotland. There was a great deal of Scottish enthusiasm. 
There were seven sheep-heads (singed) down the table ; 
and Lord Lothian told me that after dinner he sang 
with great applause " The Laird o' Cockpen." 

Without disturbing the order of the materials as 
they are arranged in the body of the work, I would 
record here several anecdotes which bear upon the 
general subject which we have before us — viz. the 
illustration of Scottish manners and habits. 

The quiet, dry, matter-of-fact with which Scotch- 
men of a particular class deal with the most solemn 



xii FEE FACE. 

subjects, not intending any irreverence, supplies some 
curious subjects for such a work as the present. 
Anecdotes by which it is illustrated, although having 
sometimes an appearance of familiarity and even of 
irreverence, were never, I believe, at all intended to 
express a want of respect towards sacred things, 
although occasionally they may seem to go pretty near 
the wind. I am assured that the genuineness of the 
following anecdote is unquestionable, as my informant 
received it from the person to whom it occurred. A 
popular Anglican ]Nonconformist minister was residing 
with a family in Glasgow, while on a visit to that city, 
whither he had gone on a deputation from the Wesleyan 
Missionary Society. After dinner, in reply to an invi- 
tation to partake of some fine fruit, he mentioned to 
the family a curious circumstance concerning himself 
(which he had also mentioned repeatedly to my corre- 
spondent) — viz. that he had never in his life tasted an 
apple, pear, grape, or indeed any kind of green fruit. 
This fact seemed to evoke considerable surprise from 
the company, but a cautious Scotchman, of a practical 
matter-of-fact turn of mind, and who had listened with 
much unconcern, drily remarked : " It's a peety but 
ye had been in Paradise, and there micht na hae been 
ony faa.^' I have spoken (p. 23) of the cool matter-of- 
fact manner in which the awful questions connected 
with the funerals of friends are often approached by 
Scottish people, without the least intention or purpose 
of being irreverent or unfeeling. By the kindness of 
Mr. Lyon, I am enabled to give an authentic anecdote 



PREFACE. xiii 

of a curious character, illustrative of this habit of mind ; 
and I cannot do better than give it in his own words : — 
*^An old tenant of my late father, George Lyon of 
Wester Ogil, many years ago, when on his deathbed, 
and his end near at hand, his wife thus addressed 
him : * Willie, Willie, as lang as ye can speak, tell us 
are ye for your burial baps round or square V Willie, 
having responded to this inquiry, was next asked if 
the murners were to have glooes (gloves) or mittens, 
the former being articles with fingers, the latter having 
only a thumb-piece ; and Willie, having also answered 
this question, was allowed to depart in peace/' 

There could not be a better example of this familiar 
handling, without meaning offence, than one which has 
just been sent to me by a kind correspondent. I give 
her own words. " Happening to call on a poor neigh- 
bour, I asked after the children of a person w^ho lived 
close by. She replied, 'They're no hame yet — gaed 
awa to the English Kirk to get a clap d the heid.^ It 
was the day of confirmation for St. Paul's.* This 
definition of the ' outward and visible sign ' would look 
rather odd in the catechism. But the poor woman said 
it from no disrespect ; it was merely her way of answer- 
ing my question." 

Of the wise and shrewd judgment of the Scottish 
character, as bearing upon religious pretensions, I have 
an apt example from my friend Dr. ]N"orman Macleod. 
During one of the late revivals in Scotland, a small 
farmer went about preaching with much fluency and 
zeal the doctrine of a "full assurance'' of faith, and 



xiv PREFACE. 

expressed his belief of it for himself in such extrava- 
gant terms as few men would venture upon who were 
humble and cautious against presumption. The preacher, 
being personally rather remarkable as a man of greedy 
and selfish views in life, excited some suspicion in the 
breast of an old sagacious countryman, a neighbour of 
Dr. Macleod, who asked what he thought of John as a 
preacher, and of his doctrine? Scratching his head, 
as if in some doubt, he replied, *' Tm no verra sure o* 
Jock. I never ken't a man sae sure d Heaven and sae 
sioeert^ to he gaing taety He showed his sagacity, for 
John was soon after in prison for theft. 

Dr. N'orman Macleod tells a story w^hich gives a 
good idea of the Scottish matter-of-fact view of things 
being brought to bear upon a religious question without 
meaning to be profane or irreverent. 

He was on a Highland loch when a storm came on 
which threatened serious consequences. Dr. Macleod, 
himself a large powerful man, was accompanied by a 
clerical friend of diminutive size and small appearance, 
who began to speak seriously to the boatmen of their 
danger, and proposed that all present should join in 
prayer. " !N"a, na," said the chief boatman, ^' let the 
little ane gang to pray, but first the big ane maun tak 
an oar." 

Illustrative of the same spirit was the reply of a 

Scotchman of the genuine old school to a relative of 

mine — " Boatie'' of Deeside, of whom I have spoken, p. 

72. He had been nearly lost in a squall, and saved 

* Slow, reluctant. 



PREFACE, XV 

after great exertion, and was told by mj aunt that he 
should be grateful to Providence for his safety. The 
man, not meaning to be at all ungrateful, but viewing 
his preservation in the purely hard matter-of-fact light, 
quietly answered, "Weel, weel, Mrs. Eussell ; Provi- 
dence here or Providence there, an I hadna worked sair 
mysell I had been drouned." 

Old Mr. Downie, the parish minister of Banchory, 
was noted in my earliest days for his quiet, pithy re- 
marks on men and things as they came before him. 
His reply to his son, of whose social position he had 
no very exalted opinion, was of this class. Young 
Downie had come to visit his father from the West 
Indies, and told him that on his return he was to be 
married to a lady whose high qualities and position he 
spoke of in extravagant terms. He assured his father 
that she was " quite young, was very rich, and very 
beautiful." " Aweel, Jemmy,^' said the old man, very 
quietly and very slily, "I'm thinking there maun be 
some fautr 

I think about as cool a Scottish "aside'' as I know, 
was that of the old dealer who, when exhorting, his son 
to practise honesty in his dealings, on the ground of 
its being the " best policy," quietly added, " / hae tried 
haithr 

At pages 101, etc., frequent mention is made of a 
class of old ladies, generally residing in small towns, 
who retained till within the memory of many now 
living the special characteristics I have referred to. 
Owing to local connection, I brought forward those 



xvi PREFACE. 

chiefly who lived in Montrose and the neighbourhood. 
But the race is extinct ; you might as well look for 
hoops and farthingales in society as for such characters 
now. You can scarcely imagine an old lady, however 
quaint, now making use of some of the expressions 
recorded in the text, or saying, for the purpose of 
breaking up a card-party of which she was tired, from 
holding bad cards, "We'll stop now, bairns, Tni no 
enterteened ;" or urging more haste in going to church, 
on the plea, " Come awa, or I'll be ower late for the 
' wicked man,' " her mode of expressing the commence- 
ment of the service. 

Nothing could better illustrate this quiet pawky 
style for which our countrymen have been distinguished, 
than the old story of the piper and the wolves. A 
Scottish piper was passing through a deep forest. In 
the evening he sat down to take his supper. He had 
hardly begun, when a number of hungry wolves, prowl- 
ing about for food, collected round him. In self- 
defence, the poor man began to throw pieces of his 
victuals to them, which they greedily devoured. When 
he had disposed of all, in a fit of despair he took his 
pipes and began to play. The unusual sound terrified 
the wolves, which, one and all, took to their heels and 
scampered ofi" in every direction. On observing which, 
Sandy quietly remarked, " Od, an I'd kenned ye liket 
the pipes sae weel, Fd a gien ye a spring afore supper." 

This imperturbable mode of looking at the events 
of life can, in fact, only be illustrated by familiar 
records of what has been said and done on ordinary 



PREFACE. xvii 

oecasions. The most cautious answer certainly on 
record is that of the Scotchman who, being asked if he 
could play the fiddle, warily answered, "He couldna 
say, for he had never tried." But take other cases 
better authenticated. For example : One tremendously 
hot day, during the old stage-coach system, I was going 
down to Portobello, when the coachman drew up to 
take in a gentleman who had hailed him on the road. 
He was evidently an Englishman — a fat man, and in 
a perfect state of "thaw and dissolution" from the 
heat and dust. He wiped himself, and exclaimed, as 
a remark addressed to the company generally, " D — d 
hot it is !" No one said anything for a time, till a man 
in the corner drily remarked, " I dinna doubt, sir, 
but it may." The caution against committing himself 
unreservedly to any proposition, however plausible, was 
quite delicious. 

The following is a gogd specimen of the same 
humour: — A minister had been preaching against 
covetousness and the love of money, and had fre- 
quently repeated how " love of money was the root of 
all evil." Two old bodies walking home from church 
— one said, "An wasna the minister Strang upo' the 
money'?" "Nae doubt," said the other, rather hesi- 
tatingly ; and added, " ay, but it's grand to hae the 
wee bit siller in your haund when ye gang an errand." 

A more determined objection to giving a categorical 
answer occurred, as I have been assured, in regard to a 
more profound question than the degree of heat on a 
hot day. A party travelling on a railway got into a 

h 



xviii PREFACE. 

deep discussion on theological questions. Like Mil- 
ton's spirits in Pandemonium, they had 

*'Eeason'd high 
Of pro^ddence, fore-knowledge, will, and fate — 
Fix'd fate, free-will, fore-knowledge absolute — 
And found no end, in wand'ring mazes lost." 

A plain Scotchman present seemed much interested in 
these matters, and having expressed himself as not 
satisfied with the explanations which had been elicited 
in the course of discussion on a particular point regard- 
ing predestination, one of the party said to him that he 
had observed a minister in the adjoining compartment, 
and that when the train stopped at the next station a 
few minutes he could go and ask Ms opinion. The 
good man accordingly availed himself of the opportunity, 
and went to get hold of the minister who was, he had 
been informed, in the train. He returned in time to re- 
sume his own place, and when they had started again, the 
gentleman who had advised him, finding him not much 
disposed to voluntary communication, asked if he had 
seen the minister. "0, ay," he said," he had seen 
him." "And did you j^ropose the question to himf' 
"0, ay." "And what did he say?" "0, he just 
said he didna ken, and what was mair, he didna care!'* 
I have still another specimen of this national, cool, 
and deliberative view of a question, which seems 
characteristic of the temperament of our good country- 
men. Some time back, when it was not uncommon 
for challenges to be given and accepted for insults, or 
supposed insults, an English gentleman was entertain- 



PREFACE. xix 

iiig a party at Inverness with an account of the wonders 
he had seen and the deeds he had performed in India, 
from whence he had lately arrived. He enlarged par- 
ticularly upon the size of the tigers he had met with 
at different times in his travels, and by way of corro- 
borating his statements, assured the company that he 
had shot one himself considerably above forty feet 
long. A Scottish gentleman present, who thought 
that these narratives rather exceeded a traveller's al- 
lowed privileges, coolly said that no doubt those were 
very remarkable tigers ; but that he could assure the 
gentleman there were in that northern part of the 
country some wonderful animals, and as an example he 
cited the existence of a skate-fish captured off Thurso, 
which exceeded half-an-acre in extent. The English- 
man saw this was intended as a sarcasm against his 
own story ; so he left the room in indignation, and 
sent his friend to demand satisfaction or an apology 
from the gentleman who had, he thought, insulted him. 
The narrator of the skate story coolly replied, " Weel, 
sir, gin yer freend will tak' a few feet aff the length o' 
his tiger, we'll see what can be dune about the breadth 
o' the skate." He was too cautious to commit himself 
to a rash or decided course of conduct. When the 
tiger was shortened he would take into consideration a 
reduction of superficial area in his skate. 

A kind correspondent has sent me about as good a 
specimen of dry Scottish quiet humour as I know. A 
certain Aberdeenshire laird, who kept a very good 
poultry-yard, could not command a fresh ag^ for his 



XX PREFACE. 

breakfast, and felt miicli aggrieved by the want. One 
day, however, he met his grieve's wife with a nice 
basket, and very suspiciously going towards the market ; 
on passing and speaking a word, he discovered the 
basket was full of beautiful white eggs. Next time he 
talked with his grieve, he said to him, " James, I like 
you very well, and I think you serve me faithfully, but 
I cannot say I admire your wife. To which the cool 
reply was, " deed, Sir, I'm no surprised at that, for I 
dinna muckle admire her mysel'." 

There is something very amusing in the idea of what 
may be called the ^* fitness of things," in regard to 
snuff-taking, which occurred to an honest Highlander, 
a genuine lover of sneeshin. At the door of the 
Blair- Athole Hotel he observed standing a magnificent 
man in full tartans, and noticed with much admiration 
the wide dimensions of his nostrils in a fine up-turned 
nose. He accosted him, and, as his most complimentary 
act, offered him his mull for a pinch. The stranger 
drew up, and rather haughtily said : " I never take 
snuff." "Oh," said the other, "that's a peety, for 
there's grand accommodation .-'" 

I don't know a better example of the sly sarcasm 
than the following answer of a Scottish servant to 
the violent command of his enraged master. A well- 
known coarse and abusive Scottish law functionary^ 
when driving out of his grounds, was shaken by his 
carriage coming in contact with a large stone at the 
gate. He was very angry, and ordered the gatekeeper 
to have it removed before his return. On drivin^r 



PREFACE. xxi 

home, however, he encountered another severe shock 
by the wheels coming in contact with the very same 
stone, which remained in the very same place. Still 
more irritated than before, in his usual coarse language 
he called the gatekeeper, and roared out : " You rascal, 
if you don't send that beastly stone to h — , I'll break 
your head/' " Well," said the man quietly, and without 
meaning anything irreverent, " aiblins gin it were sent 
to heevan it wad he mair out of your Lordship's wayT 

In the body of the Eeminiscences various examples 
are given of the quiet self-sufficiency of domestics of the 
Scottish type. I heard of a boy making a very cool 
and determined exit from the house into which he had 
very lately been introduced. He had been told that 
he should be dismissed if he broke any of the china 
that was under his charge. On the morning of a great 
dinner-party he was entrusted (rather rashly) with a 
great load of plates, which he was to carry up-stairs from 
the kitchen to the dining-room, and which were piled 
up, and rested upon his two hands. In going up-stairs 
his foot slipped, and the plates were broken to atoms. 
He at once went up to the drawing-room, put his head 
in at the door, and shouted : " The plates are a' smashed, 
and I'm awa." 

I have received the four following admirable anec- 
dotes, illustrative of dry Scottish pawky humour, both 
lay and clerical, from an esteemed minister of the 
Scottish Church, the Rev. W. Mearns of Kineif. I 
have concluded that it would be best for me to record 
them nearly in the same words as his own kind com- 



xxii PREFACE. 

munication of them. — An aged minister of the old 
school, Mr. Patrick Stewart, one Sunday took to the 
pulpit a sermon without observing that the first leaf or 
two were so worn and eaten away that he couldn't de- 
cipher or announce the text. He was not a man, 
however, to be embarrassed or taken aback by a matter 
of this sort, but at once intimated the state of matters 
to the congregation, — " My brethren, I find that the 
mice have made free with the beginning of my sermon, 
so that I cannot tell you whaur the text is ; but we'll 
just begin whaur the mice have left aff, and we'll find 
out the text as we go along." 

In the year 1843, shortly after the Disruption, a 
parish minister had left the manse and removed to 
about a mile's distance. His pony got loose one day, 
and galloped down the road in the direction of the old 
glebe. The minister's man in charge ran after the 
pony in a great fuss, and when passing a large farm- 
steading on the way, cried out to the farmer, who was 
sauntering about, but did not know what had taken 
place — "Oh, sir, did ye see the minister's shault ?" 
"^N'o, no," was the answer, — "but what's happened?" 
" Ou, sir, fat do ye think ! the minister's shault's got 
lowse frae his tether, an I'm frichtened he's ta'en the 
road doun to the auld glebe." " Weel-a-wicht !" — was 
the shrewd clever rejoinderof the farmer, who was a keen 
supporte of the old parish church, " I wad 7ia wonder 
at that. An' I'se warrant, gin the minister was gettin' 
lowse frae his tether, he wad jist tak the same road." 

An old clerical friend upon Speyside, a confirmed 



PREFACE. xxiii 

old bachelor, on going up to the pulpit one Sunday to 
preach, found, after giving out the psalm, that he had 
forgotten his sermon. I do not know what his objec- 
tions were to his leaving the pulpit, and going to the 
manse for his sermon, but he preferred sending his old 
confidential housekeeper for it. He accordingly stood 
up in the pulpit, stopped the singing which had com- 
menced, and thus accosted his faithful domestic ; — 
^^ Annie ; I say, Annie, loe've committed a mistak the 
day. Ye maun jist gang your waa^s hame, and ye'll 
get my sermon oot o' my breek-pouch, an' we'll sing 
to the praise o' the Lord till ye come back again.'' 
Annie, of course, at once executed her important mission, 
and brought the sermon out of " the breek-pouch," and 
the service, so far as we heard, was completed without 
farther interruption. 

The same minister had also a very faithful ^^ minister^ s 
man^' who had been in his service for many years, and 
was engaged, at the time we speak of, to be married to 
the younger of the minister's two female servants. 
Johnnie went up-stairs one evening to arrange details 
with the old gentleman, who immediately said to him, 
— " Ou, Johnnie man, is this you % Fat's this you're 
come aboot the niclit % Sit doun an' tell me." 

" Weel, sir, I jist cam to tell you that I'm gaun to 
be married, an' I wint to settle fat day'll be convenient 
for you." 

" Vera weel, Johnnie man, but wha is't that you're 
takin'r' 

" Ou," says Johnnie, " I'm no gaun far for a wife, for 
I'm jist takin' the lassie doun in your kitchen, an' we're 



xxiv PREFACE. 

gaun to be proclaimed iipo' Sabbath ; an' we'll gie you 
as little trouble as we can, an' jist come up the stairs 
ony evenin' convenient for you, sir, an' get it a' dune 
here by yoursel, sir." 

" Weel, weel, Johnnie, I sail be rale gled to settle 
some nicht neist week wi' you baith. An' I'm rale 
happy to hear a' this, for," added the good old bachelor, 
at this time above fourscore years old, " in my opinion, 
Johnnie, marriage is a vera harmless amusement.''^ 

I can give a very shrewd observation, which will 
also serve as, " Aberdonice," an example of true Scot- 
tish phraseology. The anecdote which introduces it 
my correspondent thinks must belong to Laurencekirk 
or to Glenbervie. In the course of the week after the 
Sunday on which several elders had been set apart for 
the service of the parish, a knot of the parishioners had 
assembled at what was in all parishes a great place of 
resort for idle gossiping — the smiddy or blacksmith's 
workshop. The qualifications of the new elders were 
severely criticised. One of the speakers emphatically 
laid down that the minister should not have been satis- 
fied, and had in fact made a most unfortunate choice. 
He was thus answered by another parish oracle — per- 
haps the schoolmaster, perhaps a weaver : — " Fat better 
culd the man dee nir he's dune ] — he bud tae big's dyke 
w^i' the feal at fit o't." He meant there was no choice 
of material — he could only take what offered. 

By the kindness of Dr. Begg, I have a most amusing 
anecdote to illustrate how deeply long-tried associations 
were mixed up with the habits of life in the older 
generation. A junio.i^ minister having to assist at a 



PREFACE. xxr 

church in a remote part of Aberdeenshire, the parochial 
minister (one of the old school) promised his young friend 
a good glass of whisky-toddy after all was over, adding 
slily and very significantly, "and gude smuggled 
whusky." His southron guest thought it incumbent 
to say, " Ah, minister, that's wrong, is it not ; you know 
it is contrary to Act of Parliament?'' The old Aber- 
donian could not so easily give up his fine whisky, so he 
quietly said, " Oh, Acts o* Parliament lose their breath 
before they get to Aberdeenshire." 

My dear friend, the late Eev. Dr. John Hunter, told 
me an exquisite anecdote illustrative of the pawky 
Scotch view of matters. One of the ministers of Edin- 
burgh, a man of dry humour, had a daughter who had 
for some time passed the period of youth and of beauty. 
She had become an Episcopalian, an event which the 
Doctor accepted with much good-nature, and he was 
asking her one day if she did not intend to be con- 
firmed. " Well,'* she said, " I don't know. I under- 
stand Mr. Craig always kisses the candidates whom he 
prepares, and I could not stand that." " Indeed, Jeanie," 
said the Doctor slily, " gin Edward Craig were to gie ye 
a kiss, I dinna think ye would be muckle the waur." 

At page 13 is an answer given to a traveller, who 
admired the number of churches in a town through 
which they were travelling, as sure indication of an 
abundant prevalence of religious feeling. The answer 
implied that curstness (or crabbedness) of man's nature, 
that the spirit of party, or, in short, other motives than 
piety, might cause churches to be built. This sentiment 



XX vi PREFACE. 

was stated in what, I should hope, is a most extravagant 
form, at a meeting of ploughmen, of which I read an 
account, lately held at Eatho upon quite a different 
question from church-building. One of the speakers 
commenced his address by stating that he had heard 
his '^mither^' give forth the sentiment: ^^ The mair 
Idrli's the mair shi/' 

Many anecdotes characteristic of the Scottish 
peasant often turn upon words and ideas connected 
with Holy Scripture. This is not to be considered as 
in any sense profane or irreverent ; but it arises from 
the Bible being to the peasantry of an older generation 
their library — their only book. We have constant 
indications of this almost exclusive familiarity with 
Scripture ideas. At the late ceremonial in the north, 
when the Archbishop of Canterbury laid the founda- 
tion of a Bishop's Church at Inverness, a number of 
persons, amid the general interest and kindly feeling 
displayed by the inhabitants, were viewing the proces- 
sion from a hill as it passed along. When the clergy, 
to the number of sixty, came on, an old woman, who 
was watching the whole scene with some jealousy, ex- 
claimed, at sight of the surplices, " There they go, the 
whited sepulchres !'' I received another anecdote illus- 
trative of the same remark from an esteemed minister 
of the Free Church : I mean of the hold which Scrip- 
ture expressions have upon the minds of our Scottish 
peasantry. One of his flock was a sick nervous woman, 
who hardly ever left the house. But one fine afternoon, 
when she was left alone, she fancied she would like to 



PREFACE, xxvii 

get a little air in the field adjoining the house. Accord- 
ingly she put on a bonnet and wrapped herself in a 
huge red shawl. Creeping along the dyke-side, some 
cattle were attracted towards her, and first one and 
then another gathered round, and she took shelter in the 
ditch till she was relieved by some one coming up to 
her rescue. She afterwards described her feelings to her 
minister in strong language, adding, "And eh, sir ! when 
I lay by the dyke, and the beasts round a glowering 
at me, I thocht what Dauvid maun hae felt when he 
said — ' Many bulls have compassed me ; strong bulls of 
Bashan have beset me round."* " 

With the plainness and pungency of the old- 
fashioned Scottish language there was sometimes a 
coarseness of expression, which, although commonly re- 
peated in the Scottish drawing-room of last century, 
could not now be tolerated. An example of a very 
plain and downright address of a laird has been re- 
corded in the annals of " Forfarshire Lairdship." He 
had married one of the Misses Guthrie, who had a 
strong feeling towards the Presbyterian faith in which 
she had been brought up, although her husband was one 
of the zealous old school of Episcopalians. The young 
wife had invited her old friend, the parish minister, 
to tea, and had given him a splendid ^' four lioiirsP 
Ere the table was cleared the laird came in unex-. 
pectedly, and thus expressed his indignation, not very 
delicately, at what he considered an unwarrantable exer- 
cise of hospitality at his cost — "Helen Guthrie, ye'll 
no think to save yer ain saul at the expense of my 
meal-sjirnel ! '* 



xxviii PREFACE. 

The answer of an old woman under examination 
by the minister to the question from the Shorter 
Catechism — " What are the decrees of God V^ could not 
have been surpassed by the General Assembly of the 
Kirk, or even the Synod of Dort — "Indeed, sir, He kens 
that best Himsel." We have an answer analogous to 
that, though not so pungent, in a catechumen of the 
late Dr. Johnston of Leith. She answered his own 
question, patting him on the shoulder — " 'Deed, just 
tell it yersell, honny doctor (he was a very handsome 
man) ; naebody can tell it better." 

To pass from the answers of '* persons come to years 
of discretion" — I have, at pages 25 and 165, given ex- 
amples of peculiar traits of character set forth in the 
answers of mere children, and no doubt a most amusing 
collection might be made of very juvenile " Scottish 
Eeminiscences." One of these is now a very old story, and 
has long been current amongst us ; — A little boy who 
attended a day-school in the neighbourhood, when he 
came home in the evening w^as always asked how he 
stood in his own class. The invariable answer made was, 
"I'm second dux," which means in Scottish academical 
language second from the top of the class. As his 
habits of application at home did not quite bear out the 
claim to so distinguished a literary position at school, 
one of the family ventured to ask what was the number 
of the class to which he was attached. After some hesi- 
tation he was obliged to admit : " Ou, there's jist me 
and anither lass." It was a very practical' answer of 
the little girl, when asked the meaning of " darkness," 
as it occurred in Scripture reading — " Ou, just steek 



PREFACE. xxix 

your een." The same examiner asked the class what 
Avas the *' pestilence that walketh in darkness V After 
consideration a little boy answered — ^^ Ou, it's just hugs.'' 

I did not anticipate when I introduced this answer, 
which I received from my nephew Sir Alexander Eam- 
say, that it would call forth a comment so interesting 
as one which I have received from Dr. Barber of 
Ulverston. He sends me an extract from Matthew's 
Translaiion of the Bible, which he received from Eev. 
L. R Ay re, who possesses a copy of date 1553, from 
which it appears that Psalm xci. 5, was thus translated 
by Matthew, who adopted his translation from Cover- 
dale and Tyndale : — " So that thou shalt not need to 
be afrayed for any bugge by nyght, nor for the arrow 
that flyetli by day." * Dr. Barber ingeniously remarks 
— " Is it possible the little boy's mother had one of 
these old Bibles, or is it merely a coincidence ?" 

I have said before, and I would repeat the remark 
again and again, that the object of this w^ork is not 
to string together mere funny stoiies, or to collect 
amusing anecdotes. We have seen such collections, 
in which many of the anecdotes are mere Joe Millers 
translated into Scotch. The purport of these pages 
lias been throughout to illustrate Scottish life and 
character, by bringing forward those modes and forms 
of expression by which alone our national peculiarities 
can be familiarly illustrated and explained. Besides 

* The truth is, in old English usage *Mnig" signifies a 
spectre or anything that is frightful. Thus in Henry Yl. , 3(1 
part, act v. sc. ii. — " For Warwick was a hug that feared us all." 



XXX PliEFACE. 

Scottish, replies and expressions which are most cha- 
racteristic — and in fact unique for dry humour, for 
quaint and exquisite wit — I have (pages 87 and 135) 
entered upon the question of dialect and proverbs. 
There can be no doubt there is a force and beauty in 
our Scottish phraseology, as well as a quaint humour, 
considered merely as phraseology, peculiar to itself. I 
have already (page 88) spoken of the phrase " Auld-lang- 
syne," and of other words, which may be compared in 
their Anglican and Scottish form. Take the familiar 
term common to many singing-birds. The English word 
linnet does not, to my mind, convey so much of simple 
beauty and of pastoral ideas as belong to our Scottish 

word LINTIE. 

I recollect hearing the Eev. Dr. Norman Macleod 
give a most interesting account of his visit to Canada. 
In the course of his eloquent narrative he mentioned a 
conversation he had with a Scottish emigrant, who in 
general terms spoke favourably and gratefully of his 
position in his adopted country. But he could not 
lielp making this exception when he thought of the 
'^ banks and braes o' bonny Doon'^ — ^' But oh, sir,^^ 
he said, "there are nae Unties i' the wuds." How 
touching the words in his own dialect ! The North 
American woods, although full of birds of beautiful 
plumage, it is well known, have no singing-birds. 

A worthy Scottish Episcopal minister one day met a 
townsman, a breeder and dealer in singing-birds. The 
man told him he had just had a child born in his 
family, and asked him if he would baptize it. He 



PREFACE. xxxi 

thought the minister could not resist the offer of a bird. 
"Eh, Maister Shaw/' he said, "if yell jist do it, I 
hae a fine lintie the now, and if ye'll do it I'll gie ye 
the lintie." He quite thought that this would settle 
the matter ! 

By these remarks I mean to express the feeling 
that the word lintie conveys to my mind more of 
tenderness and endearment towards the little songster 
than linnet. And this leads me to a remark (which 1 
do not remember to have met with) that Scottish 
dialects are peculiarly rich in such terms of endear- 
ment, more so than the pure Anglican. Without at all 
pretending to exhaust the subject, I may cite the 
following as examples of the class of terms I speak of. 
Take the names for parents — "Daddie" and Minnie f 
names for children, "My wee bit lady'' or "laddie," 
"My wee bit lamb;" of a general nature, "My ain 
kind dearie." " Dawtie,'' especially used to young 
people, described by Jamieson a darling or favourite, 
one who is dawted — i.e, fondled or caressed. My "joe," 
expresses affection with familiarity, evidently derived 
from joy, an easy transition — as "My joe, Janet;" "John 
Anderson, my joe, John." Of this character is Burns's 
address to a wife, " My winsome" — i.e. charming, en- 
gaging — "wee thing;" also to a wife, "My winsome 
marrow" — the latter word signifying a dear companion, 
one of a pair closely allied to each other ; also the ad- 
dress of Eob the Eanter to Maggie Lauder, " My bonnie 
bird." Now, we would remark, upon this abundant 
nomenclature of kindly expressions in the Scottish dia- 



xxxii PREFACE. 

lect, that it assumes an interesting position as taken in 
connection with the Scottish Life and Character, and as 
a set-off against a frequent short and grumjpy manner. 
It indicates how often there must be a current of 
tenderness and affection in the Scottish heart, which is 
so frequently represented to be, like its climate, " stern 
and wild." There could not be such terms were the 
feelings they express unknown. I believe it often 
happens that in the Scottish character there is a vein 
of deep and kindly feeling lying hid under a short and 
hard and somewhat stern manner. Hence has arisen 
th6 Scottish saying which is applicable to such cases — 
^^His girn's waur than his bite :" his disposition is of 
a softer nature than his words and manner would often 
lead you to suppose. 

There are two admirable articles in Blackioood's 
Magazine, in the numbers for November and December 
1870, upon this subject. The writer abundantly vindi- 
cates the point and humour of the Scottish tongue. 
Who can resist, for example, the epithet applied by 
Meg Merrilees to an unsuccessful probationer for admis- 
sion to the ministry: — "a sticket stibler." Take the 
sufficiency of Holy Scripture as a pledge for any one's 
salvation : — " There's eneuch between the brods o' the 
Testament to save the biggest sinner i' the warld." I 
heard an old Scottish Episcopahan thus pithily describe 
the hasty and irreverent manner of a young Englishman : 
— " He ribbled aff the prayers like a man at the heid 
o' a regiment.'' A large family of young children has 
been termed " a great sma' family." It was a delicious 



PREFACE. xxxiii 

dry rejoinder to the question — "are you Mr. so and so]'' 
" It's a' that's to be had for him." I have heard an 
old Scottish gentleman direct his servant to mend the 
lire by saying, " I thing Dauvid we wudna be the 
waur o' some coals." 

The stories of humorous encounters between minis- 
ters and their hearers are numerous, and are pretty 
plentifully scattered through our pages. Some of them 
I had from ministers themselves, and though often sea- 
soned with dry and caustic humour, they never indicate 
appearance of bitterness or ill-feehng between the 
parties. As an example, a clergyman thought his 
people were making rather an unconscionable objection 
to his using a MS. in delivermg his sermon. They 
urged, "What gars ye tak up your bit papers to the 
pu'pitl" He replied, that it was best, for really he 
could not remember his sermon, and must have his 
paper. " Weel, weel, minister, then dinna expect that 
we can remember them." 

Some of these encounters arise out of the old 
question of sleeping in church (pp. 27, etc.) For 
example — " I see, James, that you tak a bit nap in the 
kirk," said a minister to one of his people ; " can ye no 
take a mull with you ] and when you become heavy an 
extra pinch would keep you up." "Maybe it wad," 
said James, "but pit you the sneeshin intil your sermon, 
minister, and maybe that'll serve the same purpose." 

Of the many hetheral stories, which are now pass- 
ing fast away, I may add one to those at p. 208, as 

c 



xxxiv PREFACE. 

bearing upon the self-importance which once used to 
characterise the betheral family. One of them being 
asked to name some one whom he thought he could 
recommend as suitable for that office in a certain neigh- 
bouring parish, answered with great solemnity — " If it 
had been a minister now ye had asked me to recommend, 
I could hae gien you some help. But to recommend 
a betheral is a different matter, and needs to be well 
considered." 

Mr. Turnbull of Dundee kindly sends me an ex- 
cellent anecdote of the "Eethrel" type (pages 201, 
206-11), which illustrates the esprit de corjjs of the 
bethrelian mind. The late Dr. Kobertson of Glasgow 
had, while in the parish of Mains, a quaint old church 
attendant of the name of Walter NicoU, commonly 
called " Watty Nuckle,'^ whom he invited to come and 
visit him after he had been removed to Glasgow. Watty 
accordingly ventured on the (to him) terrible journey, 
and was received by the Doctor with great kindness. 
The Doctor, amongst other sights, took him to see the 
Cathedral Church, and showed him all through it, and 
after they were coming away the Doctor asked Watty 
what he thought of it, and if it was not better than the 
Mains church, Watty shook his head, and said, " Aweel, 
sir, you see she's bigger ; but she has nae laft, and she's 
sair fashed wi' thae pillars. '^ 

On the same subject of beadle peculiarities, I have 
received from Mrs. Mearns of Kineff Manse an ex- 
quisitely characteristic illustration of beadle 'professional 
habits being made to bear upon the tender passion : — 



PREFACE, XXXV 

A certain beadle had fancied the manse housemaid, but 
at a loss for an opportunity to declare himself, one day 
— a Sunday — when his duties were ended, he looked 
sheepish, and said "Mary, wad ye tak a turn, Mary]" 
He led her to the churchyard, and pointing with his 
finger, got out, " My fowk lie there, Mary ; wad ye like 
to lie there ? " The grave hint was taken, and she became 
his wife, but does not yet lie there. 

Mention is made (pp. 126-127) of John Clerk, who 
was known as a Scotch Judge under the title of Lord 
Eldin. He was a man remarkable at the bar and on 
the bench for his dry, sarcastic, and (I might add) 
caustic humour, of which many authentic examples 
might be noted besides those referred to in the body 
of the work. His defence of a young friend, who was 
an advocate, and had incurred the displeasure of the 
Judges, has often been repeated. Mr. Clerk had 
been called upon to offer his apologies for disrespect, 
or implied disrespect, in his manner of addressing 
the Bench. The advocate had given great offence by 
expressing his " astonishment '* at something which 
had emanated from their Lordships, implying by it 
his disapproval. He got Lord Eldin, who was con- 
nected with him, to make an apology for him. But 
Clerk could not resist his humorous vein by very 
equivocally adding, ** My client has expressed his as- 
tonishment, my Lords, at what he had met with here ; 
if my young friend had known this court as long as I 
have, he would have been astonished at nothing!^ 

A kind, though anonymous correspondent, has 



xxxvi PREFACE. 

sent me a characteristic anecdote, which has strong 
internal evidence of being genuine. When Clerk was 
raised to the bench he presented his credentials to 
the Court, and, according to custom, was received by 
the presiding Judge — who, on this occasion, in a 
somewhat sarcastic tone, referred to the delay which 
had taken place in his reaching a position for which 
he had so long been qualified, and to which he must 
have long aspired. He hinted at the long absence of 
the Whig party from political power as the cause of 
this delay, which offended Clerk; and he paid it off by 
intimating in his pithy and bitter tone, which he 
could so well assume, that it was not of so much 
consequence — " ^N'ow ye see, my Lord, I didna get just 
sae soon doited as some o' your Lordships did." 

Under this head I should like to introduce a char- 
acteristic little Scottish scene, which my cousin, the 
late Sir Thomas Burnett of Leys, used to describe 
w^ith great humour. Sir Thomas had a tenant on his 
estate, a very shrewd clever man, whom he was some- 
times in the habit of consulting about country matters. 
On one occasion he came over to Crathes Castle, and 
asked to see Sir Thomas. He was accordingly ushered in, 
accompanied by a young man of very simple appearance, 
who gazed about the room in a stupid vacant manner. 
The old man began by saying that he understood 
there was a farm on the estate to be let, and that he 
knew a very fine young man whom he wished to recom- 
mend as tenant. He said he had plenty of siller^ and 
had stuJied farming on the most approved principles, 



' PREFACE, XXX vii 

sheep-farming in the Highlands, cattle-farming in the 
Lowlands, and so forth, and, in short, was a model 
farmer. When he had finished his statement. Sir 
Thomas, looking very significantly at his companion, 
addressed the old man (as he was usually addressed in 
the county by the name of his farm) — " Well Drummy, 
and is this your friend whom you propose for the farm? '' 
To which Drummy replied, " Oh fie, na. Hout ! that is a 
kind o' a Feel, a friend (i.e. a relation) of the wife's, and 
I just brought him over wi' me to show him the place." 
One very interesting feature belonging to Scottish 
life and social habits is, to a certain extent, becoming 
with many a matter of reminiscence and of the past — I 
mean Poetry in ilie Scottish dialect. It is becoming a 
matter of history, in so far as we find that it has for 
some time ceased to be cultivated with much ardour or 
to attract much popularity. In fact, since the time of 
Burns, it has been losing its hold on the public mind. 
It is a remarkable fact, that neither Scott nor Wilson, 
both admirers of Burns, both copious writers of poetry 
themselves, both also so distinguished as writers of Scot- 
tish prose, should have written any poetry strictly in 
the form of pure Scottish dialect. "Jock of Hazel- 
dean '^ I hardly admit to be an exception. It is not 
Scottish. If, indeed. Sir Walter wrote the scrap of 
the beautiful ballad in the "Antiquary" — 

Is'ow, hand your tongue, baith wife and carle, 

And listen, great and sma', 
And I will sing of Glenallan's Earl, ^ 

That foucjht at the red Harlaw ' ' — 



xxxviii PREFACE. 

one cannot but regret that lie had not written more of 
the same. Campbell, a poet and a Scotchman, has not 
attempted it. In short, we do not find poetry in the 
Scottish dialect at all kept up in Scotland. It is every 
year becoming more a matter of research and reminis- 
cence. Nothing new is added to the old stock, and 
indeed it is surprising to see the ignorance and want 
of interest displayed b}^ many young persons in this 
department of literature. How few read the works 
of Allan Eamsay, once so popular, and still so full 
of pastoral imagery 1 There are occasionally new 
editions of the Gentle Shepherd, but I suspect for 
a limited class of readers. I am assured the boys 
of the High School, Academy, etc., do not care even 
for Burns. As poetry in the Scottish dialect is thus 
slipping away from the public Scottish mind, I thought 
it very suitable to a work of this character upon " Scot- 
tish Eeminiscences " to supply a list of modern Scot- 
tish dialect winters. This I am able to provide by the 
kindness of our distinguished antiquary, Mr. David 
Laing — the fulness and correctness of whose acquire- 
ments are only equalled by his readiness and courtesy 
in communicating his information to others : — 

Scottish Poets of the Last Century. 

Allan Eamsay. B. 1686. D. 1757. His Gentle 
Shepherd, completed in 1725, and his Collected 
Poems in 1721-1728. 

It cannot be said there was any want of successors. 



PREFACE, xxxix 

however obscure, following in the same track. Those 

chiefly deserving of notice were — 

Alexander Eoss of Lochlee. B. 1700. D. 1783. The 
Fortunate Shepherdess. 

Egbert Fergcjsson. B. 1750. D. 1774. Leith Races, 
? Caller Oysters, etc. 

Eev. John Skinner. B. 1721. D. 1807. Tulloch- 
gorum, 

Egbert Burns. B. 1759. D. 1796. 

Alexander, Fourth Duke of Gordon. B. 1743. D. 
1827. Cauld Kail in Aberdeen, 

Alexander Wilson of Paisley, who latterly distin- 
guished himself as an American ornithologist. B. 
1766. D. 1813. Watty and Meg, 

Hector Macneill. B. 1746. D. 1818. Will and 
Jean. 

Egbert Tannahill. B. 1774. D. 1810. Songs, 

James Hogg. B. 1772. D. 1835. 

Allan Cunningham. B. 1784. D. 1842. 

We must firmly believe, however, that obsolete 
as the dialect of Scotland may become, and its 
words and expressions a matter of tradition and of 
reminiscence' with many, still there are Scottish 
lines, and broad Scottish lines, which can never cease 
to hold their place in the affections and the admira- 
tion of innumerable hearts whom they have charmed. 
Can the choice and popular Scottish verses, endeared 
to us by so many kindly associations of the past, and 
by so many beauties and poetical graces of their own, 



xl '■ PREFACE. 

ever lose their attractions for a Scottish heart ] Can 
the charm ever die of such strains as " Ye Banks and 
Braes o' Bonny Doon,'' by Eobert Burns ; " I'm wearin' 
awa, Jean/' by Lady ^N^airne ; " Young Jamie lo^ed me 
weel/' by Lady A. Lindsay ; " Tullochgorum/' by Eev. 
J. Skinner of Langside ; " Eoy's Wife/' by Mrs. Grant 
of Laggan ; " Farewell to Lochaber/' by Allan Eamsay, 
etc. etc. 1 

I think one subsidiary cause for permanency in the 
popularity still belonging to particular Scottish songs has 
proceeded from the popularity and attraction of their 
Scottish music or Scottish vocal melodies. The melodies 
of Scotland can never die. In the best of these composi- 
tions there is a pathos and a feeling which must preserve 
them, however simple in their construction, from being 
vulgar or commonplace. Mendelssohn did not disdain 
taking Scottish airs as themes for the exercise of his pro- 
found science and his exquisite taste. It must, I think, 
be admitted that singing of Scottish songs in the per- 
fection of their style — at once pathetic, graceful, and 
characteristic — is not so often met with as to remove 
all apprehension that ere long they may become matters 
only of reminiscence. Many accomplished musicians 
often neglect entirely the cultivation of their native 
melodies, under the idea of their being inconsistent 
with the elegance and science of high-class music. 
They commit a mistake. When judiciously and taste- 
fully performed, it is a charming style of music, and will 
always give pleasure to the intelligent hearer. I have 
heard two young friends, who have attained great skill in 



PREFACE. xli 

scientific and elaborate compositions, execute the simple 
song of "Low down in the Broom/' with an effect I 
shall not easily forget. Who that has heard the 
Countess of Essex, when Miss Stephens, sing " Auld 
Eobin Gray," can ever lose the impression of her heart- 
touching notes ] In the case of " Auld Robin Gray," 
the song composed by Lady Anne Lindsay, although 
very beautiful in itself, has been, I think, a good deal 
indebted to the air for its great and continued popu- 
larity. The history of that tender and appropriate 
melody is somewhat curious and not generally known. 
The author was not a Scotchman. It was composed by 
the Rev. Mr. Leaves, rector of Wrington in Somerset- 
shire, either early in this century or just at the close of 
the last. Mr. Leaves was fond of music, and composed 
several songs, but none ever gained any notice except 
his "Auld Robin Gray,^' the popularity of w^hich has 
been marvellous. I knew the family when I lived in 
Somersetshire, and had met them in Bath. Mr. Leaves 
composed the air for his daughter. Miss Bessy Leaves, 
who was a pretty girl and a pretty singer. 

I cannot but deeply regret to think that I should in 
these pages have any ground for classing Scottish poetry 
and Scottish airs amongst " Reminiscences." It is a 
department of literature where, of course, there must 
be selection, but I am convinced it will repay a careful 
cultivation. I would recommend, as a copious and 
judicious selection of Scottish ^^^7^e5, " The Scottish 
Minstrel," by R. A. Smith (Purdie, Edinburgh). There 
are the words, also, of a vast number of Scottish songs. 



xlii PREFACE. 

but the account of their authorship is very defective. 
Then, again, for the fine Scottish ballads of an older 
period, we have two admirable collections — one by Mr. E. 
Chambers, and one by the late Professor Aytoun. For 
Scottish dialect songs of the more modern type, a copi- 
ous collection will be found (exclusive of Burns and 
Allan Ramsay) in small volumes published by David 
Eobertson, Glasgow, at intervals from 1832 to 1853, 
under the title of Whistlehinhie. 

But there are more than lines of Scottish poetry 
which may become matter of reminiscence, and more 
than Scottish melodies which may be forgotten. There 
are strains of Scottish psalmody which may have lost 
their charm and their hold with Scottish people. That 
such psalmody, of a peculiar Scottish class and cha- 
racter, has existed, no one can doubt who has know- 
ledge or recollection of past days. In the glens and 
retired passes, where those who fled from persecution 
met together — on the moors and heaths, where men 
suffering for their faith took refuge — in the humble 
worship of the cottar's fireside, airs of sacred Scottish 
melody were heard to '^beet""^ the heavenward flame, 
in lays of the " sweet Psalmist of Israel." These 
psalm-tunes are in their way as peculiar as the song- 
tunes we have referred to. I^othing can be more 
touching than the description by Burns of the domestic 
psalmody of his father's cottage. INIr. E. Chambers, in 
his Life of Burns, informs us that the poet, during 
his father's infirmity and after his death, had himself 
* Fan. 



PREFACE. xliii 

conducted the family worship. He looked back in 
after-life upon those innocent and happy days, ere he 
had encountered the temptations of the world, and ere 
he had fallen before the solicitations of guilty passion. 
How beautifully does he describe the characteristic 
features of this portion of the cottar's worship ! He 
enumerates the psalm-tunes usually made use of on such 
occasions, and discriminates the character of each : — 

" They chant their artless notes in simple guise ; 
They tune their hearts, by far the noblest aim : 
Perhaps Dundee's wild warbling measures rise, 
Or plaintive Maktyrs, worthy of the name, 
Or noble Elgin be,ets * the heavenward flame. " 

In proof of such psalmody being quite national, I have 
been told that many of these tunes were composed by 
artizans, such as builders, joiners, blacksmiths, etc. 

Several of the psalm-tunes more peculiar to Scot- 
land are no doubt of an early date. In Ravenscroft's 
Psalms, published with the music in four parts in 1621, 
he gives the names of seven as purely Scottish — King's, 
Duke's, Ahhey, Dunfermline, Dundee, Olasgoio, Martyr's. 
I was used to hear such psalmody in my early days in 
the parish church of Fettercairn, where we always at- 
tended during summer. It had all the simple character- 
istics described by Burns, and there was a heartiness 
and energy too in the congregation when, as he expresses 
it, they used to " skirl up the Bangor,'^ of which the 
effects still hang in my recollection. One peculiarity 
I remember, which was the close of the strain sometimes 
by an interval less than a semitone ; instead of the half- 



xliv ILEtACE. 

note preceding the close or key-note, they used to take the 
quarter-Tiotef the effect of which had a peculiar gurgling 
sound, and I never at any time heard it elsewhere. It 
maybe said these Scottish tunes are rude and unscientific, 
but the effect was striking, as I recall it through the 
vista of threescore years and ten. Great advances, 
no doubt, have been made in Scotland in congregational 
psalmody ; choirs have been organised with great effect 
by choir-masters of musical taste and skill. But I hope 
the spirit of piety, which in past times once accompanied 
the old Scottish psalm, whether sung in the church or 
at home, has not departed with the music. Its better 
emotions are not, I hope, to become a " Eeminiscence." 
There is a very interesting Eeminiscence, and one 
of a sacred character also, with which I would now 
conclude. When I joined the Scottish Episcopal 
Church, nearly fifty years ago, it was quite customary 
for members of our communion to ask for the blessing 
of their Bishop, and to ask it especially on any remark- 
able event in their life, as marriage, loss of friends, 
leaving home, returning home, etc. ; and it was the 
custom amongst the old Scottish Episcopalians to give 
the blessing in a peculiar form, which had become 
venerable from its traditionary application by our 
bishops. I have myself received it from my bishop, 
the late good Bishop Walker, and have heard him pro- 
nounce it on others. But whether the custom of asking 
the bishop's blessing be past or not, the form I speak 
of has become a Reminiscence, and I feel assured is not 
known even by some of our own bishops. I shall give 



PREFACE. xlv 

it my readers as I received it from the family of the 
late Bishop Walker of Edinburgh : — 

*' God Almighty bless thee with his Holy Spirit ; 
Guard thee in thy going out and coming in ; 
Keep thee ever in his faith and fear ; 
Free from Sin, and safe from Danger." 

It is quite evident that those who have in Scotland 
come to an advanced age, must have found some things 
to have been really changed about them, and some things 
on which great alterations have already taken place. 
There are others, however, which yet may be in a transition 
state ; and others in which, although changes are threat- 
ened, it cannot yet be said that the changes are begun. 
We have been led to a consideration of impending altera- 
tions as likely to take place by the recent appearance of 
two very remarkable and very interesting papers on sub- 
jects closely connected with great social Scottish ques- 
tions, where a revolution of opinion may be expected. 
There are two articles in Recess Studies^ a volume 
edited by our distinguished Principal, Sir Alexander 
Grant. One essay is by Sir Alexander himself, upon 
the "Endowed Hospitals of Scotland ;'' the other 
by Eev. Dr. Wallace of the Grey friars, upon '^ Church 
Tendencies in Scotland." It would be quite irrelevant 
for me to enlarge here upon the merits of those articles. 
No one could study them attentively without being 
impressed with the ability and power displayed in them 
by the authors, their grasp of the subjects, and their fair 
impartial judgment on the points which are so skilfully 



xlvi PREFACE. 

discussed. Two conclusions, however, must, I think, be 
forced upon the minds of attentive readers of these dis- 
sertations : — 1. There will be erelong essential changes in 
the whole management which has been so long pursued 
as the distinctive character of the Edinburgh hospital 
system. 2. That a stern uncompromising compliance 
with rigid Calvinistic confessions of faith, and with 
definitions which are beyond the requirements of 
Scripture, will, ere long, have become matters of 
Eeminiscence. 

I think it very interesting to note the changes 
which in the course of a long life we have marked 
amongst our own countrymen — changes, whether 
moral, social, or religious — and to speculate upon 
others which we observe to be in progress, or which 
we anticipate as in prospect. I have been long 
occupied with such considerations, and I have met 
with an indulgence from my countrymen, for which 
I cannot be sufficiently grateful. It is not pro- 
bable I shall again have to take up the pen on the 
subject. But I have learned to view such changes 
under a more serious national aspect than a mere 
question of amusement or speculation. The Christian 
when he looks around him on society, must ob- 
serve many things which, as a patriot, he wishes 
might be permanent, and he marks many things which, 
as a patriot, he wishes were obliterated. What he 
desires should be enduring in his countrymen is, that 
abiding attributes of Scottish character should be 
associated amonsst all men with truth and virtue — 



PREFACE, xlvii 

with honour and kindly feelings — with temperance 
and self-denial — with divine faith and love — with 
generosity and benevolence. On the other hand, he 
desires that what may become questions of tradition, 
and, in regard to his own land, Eeminiscences of 
Scottish life, shall be — cowardice and folly, deceit and 
fraud, the low and selfish motives to action which make 
men traitors to their God and hateful to their fellowmen. 
But aow to close this Preface with a practical ap- 
plication. I think we may fairly turn the subject to 
our own advantage, and make it serve our own personal 
improvement. The whole question at issue through- 
out the work takes for granted what we must all have 
observed to be a very favourite object with most people 
— viz. that the characters of various persons, as they 
pass away, are always spoken of, and freely discussed, 
by those who survive them. We recall the eccentric, 
and we are amused with their eccentricities. We 
admire the wise and dignified of the past. There are 
some recollected only to be detested for their vices 
— some to be pitied for their weaknesses and 
follies — some to be scorned for their mean and sel- 
fish conduct. But there are others whose memory 
is embalmed in tears of grateful remembrance. There 
are those whose generosity and whose kindness, 
whose winning sympathy and noble disinterested 
virtues, have called forth a blessing. Might it not, 
therefore, be good for all of us to ask ourselves how 
we are likely to be spoken of when the grave has 
closed our intercourse with friends whom we leave 



xlviii PREFACE. 

behind ? The thought might, at any rate, be useful as 
an additional motive for men's kind and honourable 
and generous conduct to each other. And then the 
inquiry would come home to each one in some such 
form as this — "Within the circle of my family and 
friends — within the hearts of those who have known 
me, and were connected with me in all social relations 
— what will be the estimate formed of me when I am 
gone ] What will be the spontaneous impression pro- 
duced by our past intercourses in life ? Will the thought 
of me furnish the memory of those who survive me with 
recollections of the past that will be fond and pleasing *?" 
In one word, let each one ask himself (I speak to 
countrymen), ** Will my name be associated with gentle 
and happy ^ Eeminiscences of Scottish Life and 
Character f 

Edinburgh, 23 Ainslie Place, 
Jan. 1871. 



REMINISCENCES 

OF 

SCOTTISH LIFE AND CHAEACTER 



CHAPTER THE FIRST. 

INTRODUCTORY. 

Many things connected with our Scottish manners of for- 
mer times are fast becoming obsolete, and we seem at 
present to be placed in a juncture when some Scottish 
traditions are in danger of being lost entirely. Being im- 
pressed with this truth, I made my own " Reminiscences 
of Scottish Life and Character" the subject of a lecture, 
which was delivered as one of the series given at Ulbster 
Hall in 1857 by different contributors, some of whom were 
amongst the most distinguished of our citizens. The idea 
met with so much approval, that the lecture was published. 
Since that time the materials have been growing under 
my hand, and I received many contributions on the sub- 
ject, which were soon embodied in a second edition. The 
public interest continued, and brought forth many flatter- 
ing and pleasing communications from various quarters ; 
and I would here express how deeply I have been gratified 
by the sympathy with which my humble endeavours to 
exhibit a phase of Scottish social life have been received. 

B 



2 REMINISCENCES OF 

I still think that it forms a most interesting chapter of 
our domestic national annals. In fact, if it were not pre- 
sumption, I might be inclined to consider myself a fellow- 
labourer with Mr. Eobert Chambers ; as in a very humble 
degree, and in a very limited sphere, this little volume 
takes a portion of the same field of illustration which he 
has selected. I should consider myself to have done well 
if I shall direct any of my readers to his able volumes. 
Whosoever wishes to know what this country really was 
in times past, and to learn, with a precision beyond what 
is supplied by the narratives of history, the details of the 
ordinary current of our social, civil, and national life, 
must carefully study the " Domestic Annals of Scotland." 
Never before were a nation's domestic features so thoroughly 
portrayed. Of those features the specimens of quaint 
Scottish humour still remembered are unlike anything 
else, but they are fast becoming obsolete, and my motive 
for this publication has been an endeavour to preserve 
marks of the past which would of themselves soon become 
obliterated, and to supply the rising generation with pic- 
tures of social life, faded and indistinct to their eyes, but 
the strong lines of which an older race still remember. 
By thus coming forward at a favourable moment, no doubt 
many beautiful specimens of Scottish Minstrelsy have 
in this manner been preserved from oblivion by the timely 
exertions of Bishop Percy, Eitson, "Walter Scott, and Pro- 
fessor Aytoun. Lord Macaulay, in his preface to " The 
Lays of Ancient Rome," shows very powerfully the ten- 
dency in all that lingers in the memory to become ob- 
solete, and he does not hesitate to say that " Sir Walter 
Scott was but just in time to save the precious relics of 
the minstrelsy of the Border." 

My esteemed friend, Lord Neaves, who, it is w^ell 
known, combines, with his great legal knowledge and high 
literary acquirements, a keen sense of the humorous, has 
sometimes pleasantly complaiaed of my drawing so many of 
my specimens of Scottish humour from sayings and doings 



SCOTTISH LIFE S CHARACTER. 3 

of Scottish ministers. There can be no doubt that the 
older school of our national clergy supply some most 
amusing anecdotes. They were a shrewd and observant 
race. They lived amongst their own people from year to 
year, and understood the Scottish type of character. Their 
retired habits and familiar intercourse with their parish- 
ioners gave rise to many quaint and racy communications. 
Tliey were excellent men, well suited to their pastoral 
work, and did much good amongst their congregations ; 
for it should be always remembered that a national church 
requires a sympathy and resemblance between the pastors 
and the flocks. Both will be found to change together. 
Nothing could be further from my mind in recording 
these stories, than the idea of casting ridicule upon such 
an order of men. My own feelings as a Scotchman, with 
all their ancestral associations, lead me to cherish their 
memory with pride and deep interest. I may appeal also 
to the fact that many contributions to this volume are 
voluntary offerings from distinguished clergymen of the 
Church of Scotland, as well as of the Free Church and of 
other Presbyterian communities. Indeed, no persons enjoy 
these stories more than ministers themselves. I recollect 
many years ago travelling to Perth in the old stage-coach 
days, and enjoying the society of a Scottish clergyman, 
who was a most amusing companion, and full of stories, 
the quaint humour of which accorded with his own dis- 
position. When we had ccme through Glen Farg, my 
companion pointed out that we were in the parish of 
Dron. With much humour he introduced an anecdote of 
a brother minister not of a brilliant order of mind, who 
had terminated in this place a course of appointments in 
the Church, the names of which, at least, were of an 
ominous character for a person of unimaginative tempera- 
ment. The worthy man had been brought up at the school 
of Danse ; had been made assistant at Dull, a parish near 
Aberfeldy, in the Presbytery of Weem ; and had here ended 
his days and his clerical career as minister of Dron. 



4 REMINISCEXCES 0^ 

Sir Walter Scott, in the dedication to the King (George 
the Fourth) of his collected edition of the Waverley Novels, 
with much complacency records the fact that " the perusal 
of them has been supposed, in some instances, to have 
succeeded in amusing hours of relaxation, or relieving 
those of languor, pain, or anxiety." No doubt it is a 
source of allowable satisfaction to an author to think that 
he has in any degree, even the lowest and the most humble, 
contributed to the innocent recreation of a world where care 
and sorrow so generally prevail. The work of preparing 
these Reminiscences has sometimes succeeded in drawing 
off the mind of the author from sad and painful recollec- 
tions of his own domestic trials, and he may perhaps be 
permitted to state, that in several cases he has received 
assurance that his pages have beguiled an hour of languor 
and debility ; that they have in distant lands recalled many 
pleasant associations with the past, and have given a perma- 
nent and agreeable impression of a pleasantry and humour 
exclusively and essentially of a Scottish type and character. 

I wish it to be distinctly understood that these desul- 
tory records were never intended to treat of the changes 
which have taken place amongst us during the last half 
century, in literature or philosophy, in laws, commerce, 
manufactures, or in the deeper phases of our national 
character. I treat of changes and of transitions which 
lie rather upon the surface of social life. In fact, I speak 
of what, to a great degree, I can verify from my own 
experience — what I have not seen and known in my own 
person I generally narrate from the direct testimony » of 
others. I can myself go back in memory for sixty years ; 
and therefore these observations, trivial and superficial as 
they may be, I might name, in imitation of my distin- 
guished great-great-great-uncle. Bishop Burnett, and call 
them "Memoirs of my own time," or, more correctly, to 
follow a recent example of collected reminiscences (that of 
the late lamented Lord Cockburn), " Memorials of my 
Time." I have recorded the following remarks in the way 



SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 5 

of an experiment^ hoping that it might form a precedent 
or example for others to take up the question of changes 
amongst us, an<l for those to state results of their observa- 
tion who have had more experience than mine (as I was 
only an occasional visitor to my own country from the age 
of eight to the age of thirty), who have more opportunities 
of judging, and who are possessed of far better powers of 
description. As Lord Cockburn has observed, " A change 
has been going on for a long time." — " The feelings and 
habits which had prevailed at the Union, and which had 
left so many picturesque peculiarities on the Scottish 
character, could not survive the enlarged intercourse with 
England and the world." Much of this change had of 
course taken place before any of the present generation 
can remember. Much has been done in my own recollec- 
tion, antl now there remain only comparatively the slighter 
shades of difference to be assimilated, and soon there will 
be little to notice. Now, a subject like this can only be 
illustrated by a copious application of anecdotes which 
must show the features of the past. And let me premise 
that I make use of anecdotes not for the purpose of telling 
a good story, but solely in the way of illustration, I am 
quite certain that there was an originality, a dry and 
humorous mode of viewing persons and events quite 
peculiar to the older Scottish characters. And I am 
equally certain, that their peculiar humour can only be 
exhibited in examples. I have just been supplied, by two 
much valued and kind friends, with anecdotes highly 
illustrative of what I have endeavoured to record ; from 
Mr. Erskine of Linlathan I have received the following : 
— Mr. Erskine recollects an old housekeeper at Airth who 
belonged to this class of character. A speech of this Mrs. 
Henderson was preserved in the family as having been 
made by her at the time of the execution of Louis XYI. in 
1793. She was noticing the violent emotion exhibited 
by Mr. Bruce of Kinnaird, the Abyssinian traveller, at the 
sad event which had just taken place, and added, in the 



6 MEMINISCENCES OF 

following quaint and caustic terms, " There's Kinnaird 
greeting as if there was nae a saunt on earth but himsel' 
and the king o' France." How utterly unlike anything 
that would be said on such an occasion by an English 
person in the same position in life ! 

The other anecdote (which has just been sent by a kind 
correspondent from Aberdeenshire) I introduce here as a 
pure sample of the Scottish humour we are speaking of. 
It seems to me to possess more than the ordinary amount 
of those racy qualities which so often distinguished the 
older class of Scottish parish functionaries. The story 
is recorded as having been told by the late Rev. Alexander 
Allardice, minister of Forgue in Aberdeenshire, who 
possessed an unusual vein of dry caustic humour, and who 
told stories of that description in a most relishable way. 

A neighbouring minister was to assist Mr. Allardice, and 
arrived at the manse on Saturday, where he was to sleep, 
and take the duty on Sunday following. He was a conceited 
youth— a frothy declamatory preacher — and, as a stranger, 
anxious to make a great sensation in the country. After 
dinner, he strolled out into the churchyard, and encountered 
John the beddal and parish oracle engaged in digging a 
grave — and much of a humorist in his way — moreover, a 
formidable critic of the theological soundness of tlie 
neighbouring ministers. Our young divine, having been 
very recently placed, supposed himseK to be personally un- 
known! to the Forgue functionary. Accordingly he began 
to pump Beddal John as to the opinion held of the brethren 
around who had assisted at Forgue. To query after query 
John gave out his unvarying oracular response, " Na, sir, 
we dinna like him ; he's nae soun'" — and "we dinna like 
him eather ; he's nae soun'," clenching every decision with 
the " yerk " of a spadeful of earth on the grave's brink. 
At last the reverend pumper having exhausted the circle of 
his brethren of the Presbytery, and secretly gratified, no 
doubt, with this summary and unqualified testimony against 
them, anxious to hear what was thought in the country side 



SCOTTISH LIFE <& CHARACTER. 7 

about himself, where lie rather flattered himself he was 
creating a sensation, and trusting to his incognito (though 
Jolm was perfectly aware who his colloquist was), ventured 

to ask, " Well, now, the parish of has got a famous 

preacher, the Rev. Mr. , what do you think of hiin ? 

is he ' soun '? " " 'Od, sir," rej)lied John, with a sly twinkle, 
and resting for a moment on his spade, " I hinna heard him 
mysel' ; but folk that hae, say he^s a' soun!^ John recom- 
menced digging with redoubled diligence, and exit the 
reverend querist, feeling, we may fancy, rather small. 

If my anecdotes should occasionally excite amusement 
or even laughter, there is no harm done ; but let it be 
remembered this is not the object. The object, as I say, is 
to illustrate the sort of quaint humour we are losing. In 
short, whatever tends to illustrate changes — to mark times 
that are gone — I have not hesitated to use. 

We have now, therefore, to deal with common events 
and with changes which, though in themselves really deep 
and important, often appear to the observer to affect only 
what is external ; and as we must have a classification or 
arrangement of the topics on which changes are to be 
marked, I would propose to record some Reminiscences on 
the following subjects : 

On Religious Feelings and Religious Observances. 

On Scottish Conviviality of the past. 

On the Old Scottish Domestic Servant. 

On the Humour and Peculiarities of the Scottish 
Language, including Scottish Proverbs. 

On Scottish Stories of Wit and Humour 



REMINISCENCES OF 



CHAPTEE THE SECOND. 

ON RELIGIOUS FEELINGS AND RELIGIOUS OBSERVANCES. 

On this subject we would speak with deference. We have 
no intention of entering, in this volume, upon those great 
fjuestions which are connected with certain church move- 
ments amongst us, or with national peculiarities of faith 
and discipline. It is impossible, however, to overlook 
entirely the fact of a gradual relaxation which has gone on 
for some years, of the sterner features of the Calvinistic 
school of theology — at any rate, of keeping its theoretic 
peculiarities more in the background. What we have to 
notice, in these pages, are changes in the feelings with 
regard to religion and religious observances, which have 
appeared upon the exterior of society — the changes which 
belong to outward habits rather than to internal feelings. 
Of such changes many have taken place within my own 
experience. Scotland has ever borne the character of a 
moral and religious country ; and the mass of the people 
are a more church-going race than the masses of English 
population. I am not at all prepared to say that in the 
middle and lower ranks of life, our countrymen have 
undergone much change in regard to religious observances. 
But there can be no question that amongst the upper 
classes there are manifestations connected with religion 
now, which some years ago were not thought of. The 
attendance of men on public worship is of itself an ex- 
ample of the change we speak of. I am afraid that when 
Walter Scott described Monkbarns as being with difficulty 
"hounded out" to hear the sermons of irood Mr. Blatter- 



SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER, 9 

gowl, he wrote from a knowledge of the habits of church- 
going then generally prevalent amongst Scottish lairds. 
The late Bishop Sandford told me that when he lirst came 
to Edinburgh — I suppose fifty years ago — few gentlemen 
attended church — very few indeed were seen at the com- 
munion — so much so that it was a matter of conversation 
when a male communicant, not an aged man, was observed 
at the table for the first time. Sydney Smith, when preach- 
ing in Edinburgh some forty years ago, seeing how almost 
exclusively congregations were made up of ladies, took for his 
text the verse from the Psalms, " Oh that men would there- 
fore praise the Lord ;" and with that touch of the facetious 
which marked everything he did, laid the emphasis on the 
word " men." Looking round the congregation and saying, 
^ Oh that men would therefore praise the Lord," implying 
that he used the word, not to describe the human species 
generally, but the male individuals as distinguished from 
the female portion. In regard to attendance by young 
men, both at church and commimion, a marked change 
has taken place in my own experience. Li fact, there is 
an attention excited towards church subjects, which, thirty 
years ago, would have been hardly credited. Nor is it 
only in connection with churches and church services that 
these changes have been brought forth, but an interest has 
been raised on the subject from Bible societies, missionary 
associations at home and abroad, schools and reformatory 
institutions, most of which, as regard active operation, have 
grown up during fifty years. 

Nor should I omit to mention, what I trust may be 
considered as a change belonging to religious feeling, viz., 
that conversation is now conducted without that accom- 
paniment of those absurd and unmeaning oaths which were 
once considered an essential embellishment of polite dis- 
course. T distinctly recollect an elderly gentleman, when 
describing the opinion of a refined and polished female 
upon a particular point, putting into her mouth an un- 
mistakeable round oath as the natural language in which 



10 REMINISCENCES OF 

people's sentiments and opinions would be ordinarily con- 
veyed. This is a change wrought in men's feelings, which 
all must hail with great pleasure. Putting out of sight 
for a moment the sin of such a practice, and the bad influ- 
ence it must have had upon all emotions of reverence for 
the name and attributes of the Divine Being, and the 
natural effect of profane swearing, to " harden a' within," 
we might marvel at the utter folly and incongruity of 
making swearing accompany every expression of anger 
or surprise, or of using oaths as mere expletives in com- 
mon discourse. A quaint anecdote, descriptive of such 
senseless ebullition, I have from a friend who mentioned 
the names of parties concerned : — A late Duke of Athole 
had invited a well-know^n character, a writer of Perth, to 
come up and meet him at Dunkeld for the transaction of 
some business. The Duke mentioned the day and hour 
when he should receive the man of law, who accordingly 
came punctually at the appointed time and place. But 
the Duke had forgotten the appointment, and gone to the 
hill, from which he could not return for some hours. A 
Highlander present described the Perth writer's indigna- 
tion, and his mode of showing it by a most elaborate 
course of swearing. " But whom did he swear at ?" was 
the inquiry made of the narrator, who replied, " Oh, he 
didna sweer at ony thing particular, but juist stude in ta 
middle of ta road and swoor at lairge." I have from a 
friend also an anecdote which shows how entirely at on^ 
period the practice of swearing had become familiar even 
to female ears when mixed up with the intercourse of social 
life. A sister had been speaking of her brother as much 
addicted to this habit — " Our John sweers awfu', and we 
try to correct him ; but," she added in a candid and 
apologetic tone, " nae doubt it is a great set aff to conver- 
sation." There was something of rather an admiring 
character in the description of an outbreak of swearing by 
a Decside body. He had been before the meeting of 
J ustices for some offence against the excise laws, and had 



SCOTTISH LIFE d: CKARACTER. 11 

been promised some assistance and countenance by my 
cousin, the laird of Finzean» who was unfortunately ad- 
dicted to the practice in question. The poor fellow had 
not got off so wxll as he had expected, and on giving an 
account of what took place to a friend, he was asked, " But 
did not Finzean speak for you 1 " " Na," he replied, " he 
didna say muckle ; but oh, he damned bonny !" 

This is the place to notice a change which has taken 
place in regard to some questions of taste in the building 
and embellishing of Scottish places of worship. Some 
years back there was a great jealousy of ornament in con- 
nection with churches and church services, and, in fact, all 
such embellishments were considered as marks of a de- 
parture from the simplicity of old Scottish worship, — they 
were distinctive of Episcopacy as opposed to the severer 
modes of Presbyterianism. The late Sir William Forbes 
used to give an account of a conversation, indicative of 
this feeling, which he had overheard between an Edinburgh 
inhabitant and his friend from the country. They were 
passing St. John's, which had just been finished, and the 
countryman asked, " Whatna kirk was that ? " " Oh," 
said the towTisman, " that is an English chapel," meaning 
Episcopalian. " Ay," said his friend, " there '11 be a walth 
o' images there." But, if unable to sjnnpathize with archi- 
tectural church ornament and embellishment, how much 
less could they sympathize with the performance of divine 
service, which included such musical accompaniments as 
intoning, chanting, and anthems ? On the first introduc- 
tion of Tractarianism into Scotland, the full choir service 
had been established in an Episcopal church, where a noble 
family had adopted those views, and carried them out 
regardless of expense. The lady who had been instrumen- 
tal in getting up these musical services was very anxious 
that a favourite female servant of the family — a Pres- 
byterian of the old school — should have an opportunity 
of hearing them ; accordingly, she very kindly took 
her down to church in the carriage, and on returning 



12 • REMINISCENCES OF 

asked her what she thought of the music, etc. ; " Ou, 
it's verra bonny, verra bonny ; but oh, my lady, it's 
an awfu' way of spending the Sabbath." The good 
woman could only look upon the whole thing as a musi- 
cal performance. The organ was a great mark of distinc- 
tion between Episcopalian and Presbyterian places of 
worship. I have heard of an old lady describing an Epis- 
copalian clergyman, without any idea of disrespect, in 
these terms : — " Oh, he is a whistle-kirk minister." From 
an Australian correspondent I haA^'e an account of the 
difference between an Episcopal minister and a Presbyterian 
minister, as remarked by an old Scottish lady of his 
acquaintance. Being asked in what the difference was 
supposed to consist, after some consideration she replied, 
" Weel, ye see, the Presbyterian minister wears his sark 
under Ms coat, the Episcopal minister wears his sark 
aboon his coat." Of late years, however, a spirit of greater 
tolerance of such things has been growing up amongst us, 
— a greater tolerance, I suspect, even of organs and litur- 
gies. In fact, we may say a new era has begun in 
Scotland as to church architecture and church ornaments. 
The use of stained glass in churches — forming memorial 
windows for the departed,* a free use of crosses as archi- 
tectural ornaments, and restoration of ancient edifices, 
indicate a revolution of feeling regarding this question. 
Beautiful and expensive churches are rising everywhere, 
in connection with various denominations. It is not long 
since the building or repairing a new church, or the 
repairing and adapting an old church, implied in Scot- 
land simply a production of the greatest possible degree 
of ugliness and bad taste at the least possible expense, 
and certainly never included any notion of ornament 

* Distinguished examples of these are to be found in the 
Xew Greyfriars' Church, Edinburgh, and in the Cathedral of 
Glasgow ; to say nothing of the beautiful specimens in St. 
Johirs Episcopal Church, Ediuburfrh. 



SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER, 13 

In tlie details. Now, large sums are expended on places 
of worship without reference to creed. First-rate archi- 
tects are employed. Fine Gothic structures are produced. 
The rebuilding of the Greyfriars' Church, the restora- 
tion of South Leith Church and of Glasgow Cathedral, 
the very bold experiment of adopting a style little known 
amongst us, the pure Lombard, in a church for Dr. W. L. 
Alexander, on George lY. Bridge, Edinburgh ; the really 
splendid Free Churches, St. Mary's, in Albany Street, 
and the Barclay Church, Bruntsfield, and many similar 
cases, mark the spirit of the times regarding the application 
of what is beautiful in art to the service of religion. One 
might hope that changes such as these in the feelings, 
tastes, and associations, would have a beneficial effect in 
bringing the worshippers themselves into a more genial 
spirit of forbearance with each other. A friend of mine 
used to tell a story of an honest builder's views of church 
differences, which was very amusing, and quaintly profes- 
sional. An English gentleman, who had arrived in a 
Scottish country town, was walking about to examine the 
various objects which presented themselves, and observed 
two rather handsome places of worship in course of erec- 
tion nearly opposite to each other. He addressed a person, 
who happened to be the contractor for the chapels, and 
asked, " What was the difference between these two places 
of worship which were springing up so close to each other?" 
— meaning, of course, the difference of the theological tenets 
of the two congregations. The contractor, who thought 
only of architectural differences, innocently replied, " There 
may be a difference of sax feet in length, but there's no 
aboon a few inches in the breadth." Would that all our 
religious differences could be brought within so narrow a 
compass ! 

The variety of churches in a certain county of Scotland 
once called forth a sly remark upon our national tendencies 
to religious division and theological disputation. An 
English gentleman sitting on the box, and observing the 



14 REMINISCENCES OF 

great number of places of worship in the aforesaid borongh; 
remarked to the coachman that there must be a great deal 
of religious feeling in a town which produced so many 
houses of God. " Na " said the man quietly, " it's nc 
religion, it's curstnesSj^ i.e., crabbedness, insinuating that 
acerbity of temper, as well as zeal, was occasionally the 
cause of congregations being multiplied. 

It might be a curious question to consider how far 
motives founded on mere taste or sentiment may have 
operated in creating an interest towards religion, and in 
making it a more prominent and popular question than it 
was in the early portion of the present century. There 
are in this country two causes which have combined in 
producing these effects : — 1st. The great disruption which 
took place in the Church of Scotland no doubt called forth 
an attention to the subject which stirred up the public, 
and made religion at any rate a topic of deep interest for 
discussion and partizanship. Men's minds were not allowed 
to remain in the torpid condition of a past generation. 2d. 
The aesthetic movement in religion, which some years since 
was made in England, has of course, had its influence in 
Scotland, and many who showed little concern about re- 
ligion, whilst it was merely a question of doctrines, of 
precepts, and of worship, threw themselves keenly into 
the question when it became associated with ceremonial, 
and music, and high art. New ecclesiastical associations 
have been presented to Scottish tastes and feelings. With 
some minds, attachment to the church is attachment to 
her Gregorian tones, jewelled chalices, lighted candles, 
embroidered altar-cloths, silver crosses, processions, copes, 
albs, and chasubles. But from whatever cause it proceeds, 
a great change has taken place in the general interest 
excited towards ecclesiastical questions. Religion now 
has numerous associations with the ordinary current of 
human life. In times past it was kept more as a thing 
apart. There was a false delicacy which made people 
shrink from encountering appellations that were usually 



SCOTTISH LIFE <& CHARACTER. 15 

bestowed upon those who made a more prominent religi- 
ous profession than the world at large. 

A great change has taken place in this respect with 
persons of all shades of religious opinions. With an in- 
creased attention to the externals of religion, we believe 
that in many points the heart has been more exercised 
also. Take, as an example, the practice of family prayen 
Many excellent and pious households of the former gene- 
ration would not venture upon the observance, I am afraid, 
because they were in dread of the sneer. There was a 
foolish application of the terms " Methodist," " saints," 
" over-righteous," where the practice was observed. It 
was to take up a rather decided position in the neighbour- 
hood ; and I can testify, that less than fifty years ago, a 
family would have been marked and talked of for a usage 
of which now throughout the country the exception is 
rather the unusual circumstance. A little anecdote from 
recollections in my own family will furnish a good illus- 
tration of a state of feeling on this point now happily un- 
known. In a northern to^Ti of the east coast, where the 
earliest recollections of my life go l)ack, there was usually 
a detachment of a regiment, who were kindly received 
and welcomed to the society, which in the winter months 
was very full and very gay. There was the usual mea- 
sure of dining, dancing, supping, card-playing, and gossip- 
ping, which prevailed in country towns at the time. The 
officers were of course an object of much interest to the 
natives, and their habits were much discussed. A friend 
was staying in the family who partook a good deal of 
the Athenian temperament, viz., delight in hearing and 
telling some new thing. On one occasion she burst forth 
in great excitement with the intelligence that " Sir 
Nathaniel Duckinfield, the ofi&cer in command of the de- 
tachment, had family prayers ever^ morning !" A very 
near and dear relative of mine, knowing the tendency of the 
lady to gossip, pulled her up with the exclamation: "How 
can you repeat such things, Miss Ogiivy ; nothing in the 



16 BEMINISCENCES OF 

world but the ill-natured stories of Montrose ! " The re* 
mark was made quite innocently and unconsciously of the 
bitter satire it conveyed upon the feeling of the place. The 
" ill-nature " of these stories was true enough, because ill- 
nature was the motive of those who raised them ; not 
because it is an ill-natured thing of itself to say of a family 
that they have household worship, but the ill-nature 
consisted in their intending to throw out a sneer and a 
sarcasm upon a subject where all such reflections are unbe- 
coming and indecorous. It is one of the best proofs of 
change of habits and associations on this matter, that the 
anecdote, exquisite as it is for our purpose, will hardly be 
understood by many of our young friends, or, at least, 
happily has lost much of its force and pungency. 

These remarks apply perhaps more especially to the 
state of religious feeling amongst the upper classes of society. 
Though I am not aware of so much change in the religious 
habits of the Scottish peasantry, still the elders have 
yielded much from the sternness of David Deans ; and 
upon the whole view of the question there have been 
many and great changes in the Scottish people during the 
last sixty years. It could hardly be otherwise, when we 
consider the increased facilities of communication between 
the two countries — a facility which extends to the introduc- 
tion of English books upon religious subjects. The most 
popular and engaging works connected with the Church of 
England have now a free circulation in Scotland ; and it is 
impossible that such productions as the " Christian Year," 
for example, and many others — whether for good or bad is 
not now the question — should not produce their effects 
upon minds trained in the strictest school of Calvinistic 
theology. I should be disposed to extend the boundaries 
of this division, and to include under " Eeligious Feelings 
and Religious Observances" many anecdotes which belong 
perhaps rather indirectly than directly to the subject. 
Thus it has struck me that on a subject closely allied with 
religious feelings a great change has taken place in Scotland 



SCOTTISH LIFE d: CHARACTER. 17 

during a period of less than fifty years — I mean the atten- 
tion paid to cemeteries as depositories of the mortal remains 
of those who have departed. In my early days I never recol- 
lect seeing any e£Ports made for the embellishment and adorn- 
ment of our churchyards ; if tolerably secured by fences, 
enough had been done. The English and Welsh practices 
of planting flowers, keeping the turf smooth and dressed 
over the graves of friends, were quite unknown. Indeed, 
I suspect such attention fifty years ago would have been 
thought by the sterner Presbyterians as somewhat savouring 
of superstition. The account given by Sir W. Scott, in 
" Guy Mannering," of an Edinbui-gh burial-place, was uni- 
versally applicable to Scottish sepulchres.* A very 
different state of matters has grown up within the last few 
years. Cemeteries and churchyards are now as carefully 
ornamented in Scotland as in England. Shrubs, flowers^ 
smooth turf, and neatly-kept gravel walks, are a pleasing 
accompaniment to head-stones, crosses, and varied forms of 
monumental memorials, in freestone, marble, and granite, 
Nay, more than these, not unfrequently we see an imita 
tion of French sentiment, in wreaths of " everlasting" 
placed over graves as emblems of immortality ; and in one 
of our Edinburgh cemeteries, I have seen these enclosed in 
glass cases, to preserve them from the effects of wind and 
rain. 

In consequence of neglect, the unprotected state of 
chiirchyards was evident from the number of stories in 
circulation connected with the circumstance of timid and 
excited passengers going amongst the tombs of the village. 
The following, amongst others, has been communicated. 

* *'This was a square enclosure in the Greyfriars' Churchyard, 
guarded on one side by a veteran angel without a nose, and hav- 
ing only one wing, who had the merit of having maintained his 
post for a century, while his comrade cherub, who had stood 
sentinel on the corresponding pedestal, lay a broken trunk, 
among the hemlock, burdock, and nettles which grew in gigau- 
tic luxuriance around the walls of the mausoleum." 

C 



18 REMINISCENCES OF 

The locale of the story is unkno^vn, but it is told of a 
weaver who, after enjoying his potations, pursued his way 
home through the churchyard, his vision and walking 
somewhat impaired. As he proceeded, he diverged from 
the path, and unexpectedly stumbled into a partially made 
grave. Stunned for a while, he lay in wonder at his 
descent, and after some time he got out, but he had not 
proceeded much farther when a similar calamity befell him. 
At this second fall, he was heard, in a tone of wonder and 
surprise, to utter the following exclamation, referring to 
what he considered the untenanted graves : " Ay ! ir ye a' 
up an' awa ?" 

The kindly feelings and interest of the pastoral relation 
always formed a very pleasing intercourse between minister 
and people. 1 have received from an anonymous corre- 
spondent an anecdote illustrative of this happy connection, 
for which he vouches as authentic : — 

John Brown, Burgher minister at Whitburn (son of the 
commentator, and father of the late Eev. Dr. John Brown 
of Edinburgh, and grandfather of the present accomplished 
M.D. of the same name, author of " Rab and his Friends," 
etc.), in the early part of the century was travelling on a 
small sheltie* to attend the summer sacrament at Hadding- 
ton. Between Musselburgh and Tranent he overtook one 
of his own people. " What are ye daein' here, Janet, and 
whaur ye gaun in this warm weather ?" "Deed, sir," quo 
Janet, " I'm gaun to Haddington for the occasion,'^ an' 
expeck to hear ye preach this efternoon." " Very weel, 
Janet, but whaur ye gaun to sleep ?" "I dinna ken, sir, 
but Providence is aye kind, an'll provide a bed." On Mr. 
Brown jogged, but kindly thought of his humble follower ; 
accordingly, after service in the afternoon, before pronounc- 
ing the blessing, he said from the pulpit, " Whaur's the 
auld wifie that followed me frae Whitburn ?" " Here I'm, 
sir," uttered a shrill voice from a back seat " A weel," 

♦ A Shetland pony. f The Lord's Supper. 



SCOTTISH LIFE d: CHARACTER. 19 

said Mr. Brown, " I have faiid ye a bed ; ye're to sleep wi' 
Johnnie Fife's lass." 

There was at all times amongst the older Scottish 
peasantry a bold assertion of their religious opinions, and 
etrong expression of their feelings. The spirit of the 
Covenanters lingered amongst the aged people whom I 
remember^ but which time has considerably softened down. 
We have some recent authentic instances of this readiness 
in Scotchmen to bear testimony to their principles :— 

A friend has informed me that the late Lord Ruther- 
furd often told with much interest of a rebuke which he 
received from a shepherd, near Bonaly, amongst the Pent- 
lands. He had entered into conversation with him, and 
was complaining bitterly of the weather, which prevented 
him enjoying his visit to the country, and said hastily and 

unguardedly, " What a d d mist ! " and then expressed 

his wonder how or for what purpose there should have been 
such a thing created as east wind. The shepherd, a tall, 
grim figure, turned sharp round upon him. " What ails 
ye at the mist, sir ? it weets the sod, it slockens the yowes, 
and" — adding with much solemnity — "it's God's wull ;" 
and turned away with lofty indignation. *Lord Rutherfurd 
used to repeat this with much candour as a fine specimen 
of a rebuke from a sincere and simple mind. 

There was something very striking in the homely, 
quaint, and severe expressions on religious subjects which 
marked the old-fashioned piety of persons shadowed forth 
in Sir Walter Scott's Davie Deans. We may add to the 
rebuke of the shepherd of Bonaly, of Lord Rutherfurd's 
remark about the east wind, his answer to Lord Cockburn, 
the proprietor of Bonaly. He was sitting on the hill-side 
w^ith the shepherd, and observing the sheep reposing in 
the coldest situation, he observed to him, " John, if I were 
a sheep, I would lie on thc: other side of the hill." The 
shepherd answered, " Ay, my lord, but if ye had been a 
sheep ye would hae had mair sense." 

Of such men as this shepherd were formed the elders 



20 REMINISCENCES OF 

— a class of men who were marked by strong features of 
character, and who, in former times, bore a distinguished 
part in all church matters. 

The old Scottish elder was in fact quite as different 
a character from the modern elder, as the old Scottish 
minister was from the modern pastor. These good men 
were not disposed to hide their lights, and perhaps some- 
times encroached a little upon the office of the minister. 
A clergyman had been remarking to one of his elders that 
he was unfortunately invited to two funerals on one day, 
and that they w^ere fixed for the same hour. " Weel, sir," 
answered the elder, " if ye'll tak the tane I'll tak the tither.'* 

Some of the elders were great humorists and originals 
in their way. An elder of the kirk at Muthill used to 
manifest his humour and originality by his mode of col- 
lecting the alms. As he went round with the ladle, he 
reminded such members of the congregation as seemed 
backward in their duty, by giving them a poke with the 
" brod," and making, in an audible whisper, such remarks 
as these — " Wife at the braid maUin, mind the puir ; " 
" Lass wi' the braw plaid, mind the puir," etc., a mode of 
collecting which* marks rather a bygone state of things. 
But on no question was the old Scottish disciplinarian, 
whether elder or not, more sure to raise his testimony 
than on anything connected with a desecration of the 
Sabbath. In this spirit was the rebuke given to an eminent 
geologist, when visiting in the Highlands : — The professor 
was walking on the hills one Sunday morning, and partly 
from the effect of habit, and partly from not adverting to 
the very strict notions of Sabbath desecration entertained 
in Eoss-shire, had his pocket hammer in hand, and was 
thoughtlessly breaking the specimens of minerals he picked 
up by the way. Under these circumstances, he was met by 
an old man steadily pursuing his way to his church. For 
some time the patriarch observed the movements of the 
geologist, and at length, going up to him, quietly said, " Sir, 
ye're breaking something there f^^bye the stanes 1" 



SCOTTISH LIFE db GHARACTFE, 21 

The same feeling under a more fastidious form was 
exhibited to a traveller by a Scottish peasant : — An Eng- 
lish artist travelling professionally through Scotland had 
occasion to remain over Sunday in a small town in the 
north. To while away the time, he walked out a short 
way in the environs, where the picturesque ruin of a castle 
met his eye. He asked a countryman who vras passing to 
be so good as tell him the name of the castle. The reply 
was somewhat startling — " It's no the day to be speering 
sic things !" 

A manifestation of even still greater strictness, on the 
subject of Sabbath desecration, I have received from a rela- 
tive of the family in which it occurred. About fifty years 
ago the Hon. Mrs. Stewart lived in Heriot Row, who had a 
cook, Jeannie by name, a paragon of excellence. One Sun- 
day morning when her daughter (afterwards Lady Elton) 
went into the kitchen, she was surprised to find a new jack 
(recently ordered, and which was constructed on the prin- 
ciple of going constantly without winding up) wholly par- 
alyzed and useless. !Miss Stewart naturally inquired what 
accident had happened to the new jack, as it had stopped. 
The mystery was soon solved by Jeannie indignantly ex- 
claiming that " she was nae gaeing to hae the fule thing 
clocking and rinning about in her kitchen a' the blessed 
Sabbath day." 

There sometimes appears to have been in our country- 
men an undue preponderance of zeal for Sabbath observ- 
ance as compared with the importance attached to other 
religious duties, and especially as compared with the virtue 

of sobriety. The following dialogue between Mr. M 

of Glasgow, the celebrated artist, and an old highland ac- 
quaintance whom he had met with unexpectedly, will illus- 
trate the contrast between the severity of judgment passed 
upon treating the Sabbath with levity and the lighter cen - 

sure attached to indulgence in whisky. Mr. M begins 

" Donald, what brought you here ?" " Ou, weel, sir, it 
was a baad place yon ; they were baad folk — but they're 



22 IIEMINISCEXCES OF 

a God-fearin' set o' folk here !" '• Well, Donald," said Mr. 
M., " I'm glad to hear it." " On ay, sir, 'deed are they ; 
an' I'll gie ye an instance o't. Last Sabbath, just as the 
kirk was skailin', there was a drover chield frae Dumfries 
uomin' along the road whustlin', an' lookin' as happy as if 
it was ta muddle o' the week ; weel, sir, oor laads is a God- 
fearin' set o' laads, an' they were just comin' oot o' the kirk — 
*od tliey yokit upon him, an' a'most killed him !" Mr. M., 
to whom their zeal seemed scarcely sufficiently well directed 
to merit his approbation, then asked Donald whether it 
had been drunkenness that induced the depravity of his 
former neighbours 1 " Weel, weel, sir," said Donald, with 
some hesitation, " w«?/-be ; I'll no say but it micht." 
" Depend upon it," said Mr. M., it's a bad thing whisky." 
"Weel, weel, sir," replied Donald, "I'll no say but it 
may ;" adding in a very decided tone — " speeciallie haad 
whusky !" 

I do not know any anecdote which illustrates in a 
more striking and natural manner the strong feeling which 
exists in the Scottish mind on this subject. At a certain 
time, the hares in the neighbourhood of a Scottish burgh 
had, from the inclemency of the season or from some other 
cause, become emboldened more than usual to approach 
the dwelling-places of men ; so much so that on one Sun- 
day morning a hare was seen skipping along the street as 
the people were going to church. An old man, spying 
]niss in this unusual position, significantly remarked, " Ay, 
yon beast kens weel it is the Sabbath-day ;" taking it for 
granted that no one in the place would be found auda- 
cious enough to hurt the animal on a Sunday. 

Lady Macneil supplies an excellent pendant to Miss 
Stewart's story about the jack going on the Sunday. Her 
henwife had got some Dorking fowls, and on Lady M. 
asking if they were laying many eggs, she replied, with 
great earnestness, " Indeed, my leddy, they lay every day^ 
no' excepting the blessed Sabbath." 

There were, however, old persons at that time who 



SCOTTISH LIFE <& CHARACTER. 23 

were not quite so orthodox on the point of Sabbath observ- 
ance ; and of these a lady residing in Dumfries was known 
often to employ her wet Sundays in arranging her ward- 
robe. " Preserve us !" she said on one occasion, " anither 
gude Sunday ! I dinna ken whan I'll get thae drawers 
redd up." 

In connection ^\dth the awful subject of death and all 
its concomitants, it has been often remarked, that the 
older generation of Scottish people used to view tlie cir- 
cumstances belonging to the decease of their nearest and 
dearest friends with a coolness which does not at first 
sight seem consistent with their deep and sincere religious 
impressions. Amongst the peasantry, this was sometimes 
manifested in an extraordinary and startling manner. I 
do not believe that those persons had less affection for their 
friends than a corresponding class in England, but they 
had less awe of the concomitants of death, and approached 
them with more familiarity. For example, I remembei 
long ago at Fasque, my sister-in-law visiting a worthy and 
attached old couple, of whom the husband, Charles Dun^ 
can, who had been gardener at Fasque for above thirty 
years, was evidently dying. He was sitting on a common 
deal chair, and on my sister proposing to send down foi 
his use an old arm-chair, which she recollected was laid up 
in a garret, his wife exclaimed against such a needless 
trouble. " Hout, my lady, what would he be duin' wi' an 
arm-chair ; he's just deein' fast awa ?" I have two anec- 
dotes, illustrative of the same state of feeling, from a lady 
of ancient Scottish family accustomed to visit her poor 
dependants on the property, and to notice their ways. 
She was calling at a decent cottage, and found the occu- 
pant busy carefully ironing out some linens. The lady 
remarked, " Those are fine linens you have got there, 
Janet." " Troth, mem," was the reply, " they 're just the 
gudeman's deed claes, and there are nane better i' the 
parish." On another occasion, when visiting an excellent 
woman, to condole with her on the death of her nephew, 



2i REMINTSCENCES OF 

witli whom she had lived, and whose loss must hare beep 
severely felt by her, she remarked, " What a nice white 
cap you have got, Margaret." " Indeed, mem, ay, sae it is ; 
for ye see the gude lad's winding-sheet was ower lang, and 
I cut aff as muckle as made twa bonny mutches (caps). 

There certainly was a quaint and familiar manner in 
whicli sacred and solemn subjects w^ere referred to by the 
older Scottish race, who did not mean to be irreverent, 
but who no doubt appeared so to a more refined but not 
really a more religious generation. 

It seems to me that this plainness of speech arose in 
part from the sincerity of their belief in all the circum- 
stances of another condition of being. They spoke of 
things hereafter as positive certainties, and viewed things 
invisible through the same medium as they viewed things 
present. The following is illustrative of such a state of 
mind, and I am assured of its perfect authenticity and 
literal correctness : — " Joe MTherson and his wife lived 
in Inverness. They had two sons, who helped their father 
in his trade of a smith. They were industrious and care- 
ful, but not successful. The old man had bought a house, 
leaving a large part of the price unpaid. It was the am- 
bition of his life to pay off that debt, but it was too much 
for him, and he died in the struggle. His sons kept on 
the business with the old industry, and with better fortune. 
At last their old mother fell sick, and told her sons she 
was dying, as in truth she was. The elder son said to her, 
'Mother, you'll soon be with my father ; no doubt you'll 
have much to tell him ; but dinna forget this, mother, 
ndnd ye, tell him the house is freed. He'll be glad to 
hear that.' " 

A similar feeling is manifest in the following conver- 
sation, which, I am assured, is authentic : — At Hawick, 
the ])eople used to wear wooden clogs, which make a 
clanking noise on the pavement. A dying old woman 
ha<l some friends by her bed-side, who said to her, " Weel, 
Jenijy, ye are gaim to heeven, an' gin you should see oui 



SCOTTISH LIFE d: CHARACTER. 25 

folk, ye can tell tliem that we're a' weel." To which 
Jenny replied, " Weel, gin I should see them I'se tell them, 
but you manna expect that I am to gang clank clanking 
through heeven looking for your folk " 

But of all stories of this class, I think the following 
death-bed conversation between a Scottish husband and 
wife is about the richest specimen of a dry Scottish 
matter-of-fact viewof a very serious question : — An old shoe- 
maker in Glasgow was sitting by the bed-side of his wife, 
who was dying. She took him by the hand. "Weel, 
John, we're gawin to part. I hae been a gude wife to you, 
John." " Oh, just middling, just middling, Jenny," said 
John, not disposed to commit himself. " John," says she, 
" ye maun promise to bury me in the auld kirk-yard at 
Stra'von, beside my mither. I couldna rest i^i peace 
among unco folk, in the dirt and smoke o' Glasgow." 
" Weel, weel, Jenny, my woman," said John soothingly, 
" we'll just pit you in the Gorbals first, and gin ye dinna 
lie quiet, we'll try you sine in Stra'von." 

The same unimaginative and matter-of-fact view of 
things connected with the other world extended to a very 
youthful age, as in the case of a little boy who, when told 
of heaven, put the question, "An' will faather be there ?" 
His instructress answered, " of course, she hoped he would 
be there;" to which he sturdily at once replied, "then 
I'll no gang." 

We might apply these remarks in some measure to the 
Scottish pulpit ministrations of an older school, in which 
a minuteness of detail and a quaintness of expression were 
quite common, but which could not now be tolerated. I 
have two specimens of such antiquated language, supplied 
by correspondents, and I am assured they are both genuine. 

Tlie first is given on the authority of a St. Andrews 
professor, who is stated to be a great authority in such 
narratives. 

In one of our northern counties, a rural district had ita 
harvest operations affected by continuous rains. The 



26 REMINISCENCES OF 

crops being much laid, wind was desired in order to restore 
them to a condition fit for the sickle. A minister, in his 
Sabbath services, expressed their wants in prayer aa 
follows : — " Lord, we pray thee to send us wind, no a 
ran tin' tan tin' tearin' wind, but a noohin' (noughin ?) 
soughin' winnin' wind." More expressive words than 
these could not be found in any language. 

The other story relates to a portion of the Presby- 
terian service on sacramental occasions, called " fencing 
the tables," i.e,, prohibiting the approach of those who 
were unworthy to receive. 

This fencing of the tables was performed in the follow- 
ing effective manner by an old divine, whose flock trans- 
gressed the third commandment, not in a gross and loose 
manner,^but in its minor details : " I debar all those who 
use such minced oaths as faith ! troth ! losh ! gosh ! and 
lovanendie !" 

These men often showed a quiet vein of humour in 
their prayers, as in the case of the old minister of the 
Canongate who always prayed, previous to the meeting of 
the General Assembly, that the Assembly might be so 
guided as ^^ no to do ony liarmV 

A circumstance connected with Scottish church dis- 
cipline has undergone a great change in my time — I 
mean the public censure from the pulpit, in the time of 
divine service, of offenders previously convicted before the 
minister and his kirk-session. This was performed by the 
guilty person standing up before the congregation on a raised 
platform, called the cutty stool, and receiving a rebuke. I 
never saw it done, but have heard in my part of the country 
of the discipline being enforced occasionally. Indeed, I 
recollect an instance where the rebuke was thus adminis- 
tered and received under circumstances of a touching 
character, and which made it partake of the moral subKme. 
The daughter of the minister had herseK committed an 
offence against moral purity, such as usually called forth 
this church censure. The minister peremptorily refused 



SCOTTISH LIFE d: CHARACTER. 27 

to make her an exception to his ordinary practice. His 
child stood up in the congregation, and received, from her 
agonized father, a rebuke similar to that administered to 
other members of his congregation for a like offence. The 
spirit of the age became unfavourable to the practice. 
The rebuke on the cutty stool, like the penance in a white 
sheet in England, went out of use, and the circumstance is 
now a matter of " reminiscence." 1 have received some 
communications on the subject, which bear upon this 
point ; and I subjoin the following remarks from a kind 
correspondent, a clergyman, to whom I am largely indebted, 
as indicating the great change which has taken place in 
this matter. \ 

" Church discipline," he writes, " was much more 
vigorously enforced in olden time than it is now. A 
certain couple having been guilty of illicit intercourse, and 
also within the forbidden degrees of consanguinity, ap- 
peared before the Presbytery of Lanark, and made con- 
fession in sackcloth. They were ordered to return to their 
own session, and to stand at the kirk-door, barefoot and 
barelegged, from the second bell to the last, and thereafter 
in the public place of repentance ; and, at direction of the 
session, thereafter to go through the whole kirks of the 
presbytery, and to satisfy them in like manner. If such 
penance were now enforced for like offences, we believe 
the registration books of many parishes in Scotland would 
become more creditable in certain particulars than they 
unfortunately are at the present time." 

But there was a less formidable ecclesiastical censure 
occasionally given by the minister from the pulpit against 
lesser misdemeanours, which took place under his o^vn 
eye, such as levity of conduct or sleeping in church. A 
most amusing specimen of such censure was once inflicted 
by the minister upon his own wife for an offence not in 
our day visited with so heavy a penalty. The clergyman 
had observed one of his flock asleep during his sermon 
He paused, and called him to order. " Jeems Robson, ye 



28 REMINISCENCES OF 

are sleepin' ; I insist on your wanking when God's word ia 
preached to ye." ** Weel, sir, you may look at your ain 
seat, and yell see a sleeper forbye me," answered Jeems, 
pointing to the clergyman's lady in the minister's pew. 
" Then, Jeems," said the minister, " when ye see my wife 
asleep again, hand up your hand." By and by the arm 
was stretched out, and sure enough the fair lady was 
caught in the act. Her husband solemnly called upon her 
to stand up and receive the censure due to her offence. 
He thus addressed her : — " Mrs. B., a' body kens tliat when 
I got ye for my wife, I got nae beauty ; yer frien's ken 
that I got nae siller ; and if I dinna get God's grace, I 
shall hae a puir bargain indeed." 

The quaint and original humour of the old Scottish 
minister came out occasionally in the more private services 
of his vocation as well as in church. As the whole ser- 
vice, whether for baptisms or marriages, is supplied by the 
clergyman officiating, there is more scope for scenes between 
the parties present than at similar ministrations by a pre- 
scribed form. Thus, a late minister of Caithness, when 
examining a member of his flock, who was a butcher, in 
reference to the baptism of his child, found him so deficient 
in what he considered the needful theological knowledge, 
that he said to him, " Ah, Sandy, I doubt ye're no fit to hand 
up the bairn." Sandy, conceiving that reference was made 
not to spiritual but to physical incapacity, answered indig- 
nantly, " Hout, minister, I could hand him up an he were 
a twa-year-auld stirk."* A late humorous old minister, 
near Peebles, who had strong feelings on the subject of 
matrimonial happiness, thus prefaced the ceremony by an 
address to the parties who came to him : — "My friends, 
marriage is a blessing to a few, a curse to many, and a 
great uncertainty to all. Do ye venture ? " After a pause, 
he repeated with great emphasis, " Do ye venture ? " No 
objection being made to the venture, he then said, " Let's 
proceed." 

♦ Bullock. 



SCOTTISH LIFE d: CHARACTER 29 

Tlie old Scottish hearers were very particular on the 
subject of their minister's preaching old sermons ; and to 
repeat a discourse which they could recollect was always 
made a subject of animadversion by those who heard 
it. A beadle, who was a good deal of a wit in his way, 
gave a sly hit in his pretended defence of his minister on 
the question. As they were proceeding from church, the 
minister observed the beadle had been laughing as if he 
had triumphed over some of the parishioners with whom he 
liad been in conversation. On asking the cause of this, he 
received for answer, " Dod, sir, they were saying ye had 
preached an auld sermon to-day, but I tackled them, for I 
tauld them it was no an auld sermon, for the minister had 
preached it no sax months syne." 

I remember the minister of Banchory, Mr. Gregory, 
availed himseK of the feelings of his people on this subject 
for the purpose of accomplishing a particular object. Dur- 
ing the building of the new church, the service had to be 
performed in a schoolroom, which did not nearly hold 
the congregation. The object was to get part of the parish 
to attend in the morning, and part in the afternoon. Mr. 
Gregory prevented those who had attended in the mornmg 
from returning in the afternoon by just giving them, as 
he said, " cauld kail het again." 

It is somewhat remarkable, however, that notwith- 
standing this feeling in the matter of a repetition of old 
sermons, there was amongst a large class of Scottish preachers 
of a former day such a sameness of subject as really some- 
times made it difficult to distiuguish the discourse of one 
Sunday from amongst others. These were entirely doctrinal, 
and however they might commence, after the opening or 
introduction, hearers were certain to find the preacher falling 
gradually into the old channel. The fall of man in Adam, 
his restoration in Christ, justification by faith, and the 
terms of the new covenant, formed the staple of each ser- 
mon, and without which it was not in fact reckoned com- 
plete as an orthodox exposition of Christian doctrine, 



30 liEMINISCENCES OF 

Without omitting the essentials of Christian instruction, 
preachers now take a wider view of illustrating and 
explaining the gospel scheme of salvation and regeneration, 
without constant recurrence to the elemental and funda- 
mental principles of the faith. From my friend Dr. Cook 
of Haddington (who it is well known has a copious stock of 
old Scotch traditionary anecdotes) I have an admirable 
illustration of this state of things as regards pulpit instruc- 
tion. 

" Much of the preaching of the Scotch clergy," Dr. Cook 
observes, " in the last century was almost exclusively 
doctrinal — the fall : the nature, the extent, and the 
application of the remedy. In the hands of able men, no 
doubt, there might be much variety of exposition, but with 
weaker or indolent men, preaching extempore, or without 
notes, it too often ended in a weekly repetition of what 
had been already said. An old elder of mine, whose 
recollection might reach back from sixty to seventy years, 
said to me one day, * Now-a-days, people make a work if a 
minister preach the same sermon over again in the course 
of two or three years. When I was a boy, we would have 

wondered if old Mr. W had preached anything else 

than what we heard the Sunday before.' My old friend 
iised to tell of a clergyman who had held forth on the 
broken covenant till his people longed for a change. The 
elders waited on him to intimate their- wish. They were 
examined on their knowledge of the subject, found deficient, 
rebuked, and dismissed, but after a little while they returned 
to the charge, and the minister gave in. Next Lord's day 
he read a large portion of the history of Joseph and his 
brethren, as the subject of a lecture. He paraphrased it 
greatly, no doubt, to the detriment of the original, but 
much to the satisfaction of his people, for it was something 
new. He finished the paraphrase, ^ and now,' says he, ^my 
friends, we shall proceed to draw some lessons and infer- 
ences ; and \st, you will observe that the sacks of Joseph's 
bretliren were ripit, and in them was found the cup ; so 



SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER, 31 

your sacks will be ripit at the day of judgment, and the 
first thing found in them will be the broken covenant ;' and 
having gained this advantage, the sermon went off into the 
usual strain, and embodied the usual heads of elementary 
dogmatic theology." 

In connection with this topic, I have a communication 
from a correspondent, who remarks — The story about the 
minister and his favourite theme, " the broken covenant," 
reminds me of one respecting another minister whose staple 
topics of discourse were "Justification, Adoption, and 
Sanctification." Into every sermon he preached, he 
managed, by hook or by crook, to force these three heads, 
so that his general method of handling every text was not 
so much expositioy as impositio. He was preaching on these 
words — " Is Ephraim my dear son ? Is he a pleasant 
child 1 " and he soon brought the question into the usual 
formula by adding Ephraim was a pleiasant child — first, 
because he was a justified child ; second, because he was 
an adopted child ; and third, because he was a sanctified 
child. 

It should be remembered, however, that the Scottish 
peasantry themselves — I mean those of the older school — 
delighted in expositions of doctrinal subjects, and in fact 
were extremely jealous of any minister who departed from 
their high standard of orthodox divinity, by selecting sub- 
jects which involved discussions of strictly moral ot practical 
questions. It was condemned under the epithet of legal 
preaching ; in other words, it was supposed to preach the 
law as independent of the gospel. A worthy old clergy- 
man having, upon the occasion of a communion Monday, 
taken a text of such a character, was thus commented on 
by an ancient dame of the congregation, who was previously 
acquainted with his style of discourse : — " If there's an ill 
text in a' the Bible, that creetur's aye sure to tak it." 

The great change — the great improvement, I would 
say — which has taken place during the last half century 
in the feelings and practical relations of religion with sociaJ 



32 REMINISCENCES OF 

life is, that it has become more diffused through all ranks 
and all characters. Before that period many good sort of 
people were afraid of making their religious views very 
prominent, and were always separated from those who did. 
Persons who made a profession at all beyond the low 
standard generally adopted in society were marked out as 
objects of fear or of distrust. The anecdote at page 15 
regarding the practice of family prayer fully proves this. 
Now religious people and religion itself are not kept aloof 
from the ordinary current of men's thoughts and actions. 
There is no such marked line as used to be drawn round 
persons who make a decided profession of religion. Chris- 
tian men and women have stepped over the line, and, 
without compromising their Christian principle, are not 
necessarily either morose, uncharitable, or exclusive. 
Tlie effects of the old separation were injurious to men's 
minds. Eeligion was with many associated with puri- 
tanism, with cant, and unfitness for the world. The 
difference is marked also in the style of sermons prevalent 
at the two periods. There were sermons of two descrip- 
tions — viz., sermons by '' moderate ^^ clergy, of a purely 
moral or practical character ; and sermons purely doctrinal, 
from those who were known as " evangelical " ministers. 
Hence arose an impression, and not unnaturally, on many 
minds, that an almost exclusive reference to doctrinal sub- 
jects, and a dread of upholding the law, and of enforcing 
its more minute details, were not favourable to the cause 
of moral rectitude and practical holiness of life. This was 
hinted in a sly way by a young member of the kirk to his 
father, a minister of the severe and high Calvinistic school. 
Old Dr. Lockhart of Glasgow was lamenting one day, in 
the presence of his son John, the fate of a man who had 
been found guilty of immoral practices, and the more so 
that he was one of his own elders. " Well, father," re- 
marked his son, " you see what you've driven him to." In 
our best Scottish preaching at the present day, no such 
distinction is visible. 



SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER, 83 

The same feeling came forth with much point and 
humour on an occasion referred to in " Carlyle's Memoirs." 
In a company where John Home and David Hume were 
present, much wonder was expressed what could have in- 
duced a clerk belonging to Sir William Forbes' bank to 
abscond, and embezzle £900. ^^I know what it was,'' 
said Home to the historian, " for when he was taken there 
was found in his pocket a volume of your philosophical 
works and Boston's ^Fourfold State'" — a hit, 1st, at the 
infidel, whose principles would have undermined Chris- 
tianity ; and 2d, a hit at the Church, which he was com 
pelled to leave on account of his having written the 
tragedy of Douglas. 

I can myself recollect an obsolete ecclesiastical custom, 
and which was always practised in the church of Fetter- 
cairn during my boyish days — viz., that of the minister 
bowing to the heritors in succession who occupied the 
front gallery seats ; and I am assured that this bowing from 
the pulpit to the principal heritor or heritors after the 
blessing had been pronounced was very common in rural 
parishes till about forty years ago, and perhaps till a stil] 
later period. And when heritors chanced to be pretty 
equally matched, there was sometimes an unpleasant contest 
as to who was entitled to the precedence in having the first 
bow. A case of this kind once occurred in the parish of 
Lanark, which was carried so far as to be laid before the 
Presbytery ; but they, not considering themselves "compe- 
tent judges of the points of honour and precedency among 
gentlemen, and to prevent all inconveniency in these 
matters in the future, appointed the minister to forbear 
bowing to the lairds at all from the pulpit for the time to 
come ;" and they also appointed four of their number "to 
wait upon the gentlemen to deal with them, for bringing 
them to condescend to submit hereunto, for the success of 
the gospel, and the peace of the parish." 

In connection with this subject, we may mention a 
ready and complimentary reply once made by the late 

z> 



34 IlEMTNISCENCES OF 

Reverend Dr. Wightman of Kirkmalioe, on being rallied 
for Ms neglecting this usual act of courtesy one Sabbath in 
his own church. The heritor who was entitled to and 
always received this token of respect, was P. Miller, Esquire, 
proprietor of Dalswinton. One Sabbath the Dalswinton 
pew contained a bevy of ladies, but no gentlemen, and the 
Doctor — perhaps because he was a bachelor and felt a deli- 
cacy in the circumstances — omitted the usual salaam in 
their direction. A few days after, meeting Miss Miller, 
who was widely famed for her beauty, and who after- 
wards became Countess of Mar, she rallied him, in pre- 
sence of her companions, for not bowing to her from 
the pulpit on the previous Sunday, and requested an 
explanation ; when the good Doctor immediately replied — 
" I beg your pardon, Miss Miller, but you surely know 
that angel- worship is not allowed in the Church of 
Scotland ;" and lifting his hat, he made a low bow, and 
passed on. 

Scottish congregations, in some parts of the country, 
contain an element in their composition quite unknown in 
English churches. In pastoral parts of the country, it was 
an established practice for each shepherd to bring his faith- 
ful collie dog — at least it was so some years ago. In a 
district of Sutherland, where the population is very scanty, 
the congregations are made up one-half of dogs, each human 
member having his canine companion. These dogs sit out 
the Gaelic services and sermon with commendable patience, 
till towards the end of the last psahn, when there is a uni- 
versal stretching and yawning, and are all prepared to 
scamper out, barking in a most excited manner whenever 
the blessing is commenced. The congregation of one of 
these churches determined that the service should close in 
a more decorous manner, and steps were taken to attain 
this object. Accordingly, when a stranger clergyman was 
officiating, he found the people all sitting when he was 
about to pronounce the blessing. He hesitated, and paused, 
expecting them to rise, till an old shepherd, looking up to 



SCOTTISH LIFE <& CHARACTER. 85 

the pulpit, said, "Say awa', sir, we're a' sittin' to cheat 
the dowgs." 

I remember in the parish church of Fettercairn, though 
it must be sixty years ago, a custom — still lingering, I be- 
lieve, in some parts of the country — of the precentor 
reading each single line before it was sung by the congre- 
gation. This practice gave rise to a somewhat unlucky 
introduction of a line from the first psalm. In most 
churches in Scotland the communion-tables are placed in 
the centre of the church. After sermon and prayer, the 
seats round these tables are occupied by the communicants 
while a psalm is being sung. One communion Sabbath, 
the precentor observed the noble family of Eglantine 
approaching the tables, and lllvely to be kept out by those 
pressing in before them. Being very zealous for their 
accommodation, he called out to an individual whom he 
considered to be the principal obstacle in clearing the pas- 
sage, " Come back, Jock, and let in the noble family of 
Eglantine ;" and then turning to his psalm-book, took up 
his duty, and went on to read the line, " Nor stand in 
sinners' way." 

There must have been some curious specimens 
of Scottish humour brought out at the examinations 
or catechisings by ministers of the flock before the ad- 
ministrations of the communion. Thus, with reference 
to human nature before the fall, a man was asked, " What 
kind of man was Adam ?" " Ou, just like ither fouk." 
The minister insisted on having a more special description 
of the first man, and pressed for more explanation. " Weel," 
said the catechumen, " he was just like Joe Simson the 
horse-couper." " How so ?" asked the minister. " Weel, 
naebody got onything by him, and mony lost." 

A lad had come for examination previous to his receiv- 
ing his first communion. The pastor, knowing that his 
ycung friend was not very profound in his theology, and not 
wishing to discourage him, or keep him from the table unless 
compelled to do so, began by asking what he thought a 



36 REMINISCENCES OF 

safe question, and wliat would give liim confidence. So 
he took tlie Old Testament, and asked him, in reference to 
the Mosaic law, how many commandments there were. 
After a little thought, he put his answer in the modest 
form of a supposition, and replied, cautiously, "Aiblins* 
a hunner." The clergyman was vexed, and told him such 
ignorance was intolerable, that he could not proceed in 
examination, and that the youth must wait and learn 
more ; so he went away. On returning home he met a 
friend on his way to the manse, and on learning that he too 
was going to the minister for examination, shrewdly asked 
him, " Weel, what will ye say noo if the minister speers 
hoo mony commandments there are ?" " Say ! why, I 
shall say ten to be sure." To which the other rejoined, 
with great triumph, " Ten ! Try ye him wi' ten ! I tried 
him wi' a hunner, and he wasna satisfeed," A better 
example of an answer to catechetical examination was 
offered in the very conclusive reply made by an auld body 
to the minister who proposed the question of the shorter 
catechism, " What are the decrees of God ?" Wisely he 
replied, " Deed, sir, he kens that best himsel'." Another 
answer from a little girl was shrewd and reflective. The 
question was, "Why did the Israelites make a golden 
calf ?" " They hadna as muckle siller as wad mak a coo." 
A kind correspondent has sent me, from personal 
knowledge, an admirable pendant to stories of Scottish 
child acuteness and shrewd observation. A young lady 
friend of his, resident in a part of Ayrshire rather remote 
from any very satisfactory administration of the gospel, is 
in the habit of collecting the children of the neighbour- 
hood on Sundays at the " big house," for religious instruc- 
tion. On one occasion, the class had repeated the para- 
phrase of the Lord's Prayer, which contains these lines — 

" Give us this day our daily bread, 
And raiment ^^ provide." 

* Perhaps. 



SCOTTISH LIFE S CHAEACTEK 87 

Tliere being no question as to what ^^ daily bread" was, the 
teacher proceeded to ask : " What do you understand by 
^raiment fit/ or, as we might say, * fit raiment?'" For 
a short time the class remained puzzled at the question ; 
but at last one little girl sung out " stockings and 
shune." The child knew that " fit," was Scotch for 
feet, so her natural explanation of the phrase was equi- 
valent to " feet raiment," or " stockings and shune," as she 
termed it. 

On the point of changes in religious feelings there comes 
within the scope of these Eeminiscences a character in 
Aberdeenshire, which has now gone out — I mean the 
popular and universally well-received Roman Catholic 
priest. Although we cannot say that Scotland is a more 
Protestant nation than it was in past days, still religious 
differences, and strong prejudices, seem at the present 
time to draw a more decided line of separation between 
the priest and his Protestant countrymen. As examples 
of what is past, I would refer to the case of a genial and 
Romish bishop in Ross-shire. It is well known that pri- 
vate stills were prevalent in the Highlands fifty or sixty 
years ago, and no one thought there was any harm in 
them. This good bishop, whose name I forget, was (as I 
heard the late W. Mackenzie of Muirton assure a party at 
Dunrobin Castle) several years previously a famous hand 
at brewing a good glass of whisky, and that he distributed 
his mountain-dew with a liberal and impartial hand alike 
to Catholic and to Protestant friends. Of this class, I re- 
collect certainly forty-five years ago. Priest Gordon, a 
genuine Aberdonian, and a man beloved by all, rich and 
poor. He was a sort of chaplain to Menzies of Pitfodels, 
and visited in all the country families round Aberdeen. I 
remember once his being at Banchory Lodge, and thus 
apologising to my aunt for going out of the room : — " I 
beg your pardon, Mrs. Forbes, for leaving you, but I maun 
just gae doun to the garden and say mi bit wordies" — these 
" bit wordies" being in fact the portion of the Breviary 



38 REMINISCENCES OF 

whicli he was bound to recite — so easily and pleasantly 
were those matters then referred to. 

The following, however, is a still richer illustration, 
and I am assured it is genuine : — " Towards the end of the 
last century, a worthy Roman Catholic clergyman, well 
kno^vn as ^ Priest Matheson,' and universally respected in 
the district, had charge of a mission in Aberdeenshire, and 
for a long time made his journeys on a piebald pony, the 
priest and his ' pyet shelty' sharing an affectionate re- 
cognition wherever they came. On one occasion, however, 
he made his appearance on a steed of a different descrip- 
tion, and i^ssing near a Seceding meeting-house, he for- 
gathered with the minister, who, after the usual kindly 
greetings, missing the familiar pony said, ^ Ou, Priest ! fat's 
come o' the auld Pyet V * He's deid, minister.' * Weel, 
he was an auld faithfu' servant, and ye wad nae doot gie 
him the offices o' the church?' ^ Na, minister,' said his 
friend, not quite liking this allusion to his priestly offices, 
* I didna dee that, for ye see he turned Seceder afore he 
deed, arC I hiried him like a beast* He then rode quietly 
away. This worthy man, however, could, when occasion 
required, rebuke ^vith seriousness as well as point. Always 
a welcome guest at the houses of both clergy and gentry, 
he is said on one occasion to have met with a laird, whose 
hospitality he had thought it proper to decline, and on 
being asked the reason for the interruption of his visits, 
answered, ^ Ye ken, an' I ken, but, laird, God kens !' " 

One question connected with religious feeling, and the 
manifestation of religious feeling, has become a more settled 
point amongst us, since fifty years have expired. I mean 
the question of attendance by clergymen on theatrica. 
representations. Dr. Carlyle had been prosecuted before 
the General Assembly in 1757 for being present at the 
performance of the tragedy of Douglas, written by his 
friend John Home. He was acquitted, however, and 
writes thus on the subject in his memoirs : — 

" Although the clergy in Edinburgh and its neighbour- 



SCOTTISH LIFE S CHARACTER. 39 

hood had abstained from the theatre because it gave offence 
yet the more remote clergymen, when occasionally in to\^Ti, 
had almost universally attended the playhouse. It is re- 
markable that in the year 1784, when the great actress 
Mrs. Siddons first appeared in Edinburgh, during the sitting 
of the General Assembly, that court was obliged to fix all 
its important business for the alternate days when she did 
not act, as all the younger members, clergy as well as 
laity, took their stations in the theatre on those days by 
three in the afternoon." 

Drs. Kobertson and Blair, although they cultivated the 
acquaintance of Mrs. Siddons in private, were amongst those 
clergymen, referred to by Dr. Carlyle, who abstained from 
attendance in the theatre ; but Dr. Carlyle states, that 
they regretted not taking the opportunity of witnessing a 
display of her talent, and of giving their sanction to the 
theatre as a place of recreation. Dr. Carlyle evidently 
considered it a narrow-minded intolerance and bigoted 
fanaticism, that clergymen should be excluded from that 
amusement. At a period far later than 1784, the same 
opinion prevailed in some quarters. I recollect when such 
indulgence on the part of clergymen was treated with 
much leniency, especially for Episcopalian clergy. I do 
not mean to say that there was anything like a general 
feeling in favour of clerical theatrical attendance ; but there 
can be no question of a feeling far less strict than what 
exists in our own time. As I have said, thirty-six years 
ago some clergymen went to the theatre ; and a few years 
before that, when my brothers and I w^ere passing through 
Edinburgh, in going backwards and forward to school, at 
Durham, with our tutor, a licentiate of the Established 
Church of Scotland, and who afterwards attained consider- 
able eminence in the Free Church, we certainly went with 
him to the theatre there, and at Durham very frequently 
I feel quite assured, however, that no clerg3rman could 
expect to retain the respect of his people or of the public, 
of whom it w^as known that he frequently or habitually 



40 REMINISCENCES OF 

attendf-rl theatrical representations. It is so understood 
I had opportunities of conversing with the late Mr. Murray 
of the Theatre Eoyal, Edinburgh, and with Mr. Charles 
Kean on the subject. Both admitted the fact, and certainly 
if any men of the profession could have removed the feel- 
ing from the public mind, these were the men to have 
done it. 

There is a phase of religious observances w^hich has 
undergone a great change amongst us within fifty years — 
I mean the services and circumstances connected with the 
administration of the Holy Communion. When these 
occurred in a parish they were called " occasions," and the 
great interest excited by these sacramental solemnities may 
be gathered from " Peter's Letters," " The Annals of the 
Parish," and Burns* poem. Such ceremonials are now con- 
ducted, I believe, just as the ordinary church services. 
Some years back they were considered a sort of preaching- 
matches. Ministers vied with each other in order to bear 
away the bell in popularity, and hearers embraced the 
opportunity in exhibiting to one another their powers of 
criticism on what they heard and saw. In the parish of 
Urr, Dumfriesshire, on one sacramental occasion, some of 
the assistants invited were eminent ministers in Edinburgh ; 
Dr. Scot, of St. Michael's, Dumfries, was the only local 
one who was asked, and he was, in his own sphere, very 
popular as a preacher. A brother clergyman, compliment- 
ing him upon the honour of being so imdted, the old bald- 
headed divine modestly replied, "Gude bless you, man, 
what can I do ? They are a' han' wailed* this time ; I need 
never show face among them." " Ye're quite mista'en," 
was the soothing encouragement ; " tak' your ResuiTection 
(a well-known service used for such occasions by him), an 
I'll lay my lug ye'll beat every clute o' them." The 
Doctor did as suggested, and exerted himself to the utmost, 
and it appears he did not exert himself in vain. A batch 

* Carefully selected. 



SCOTTISH LIFE & CEAJRACTER. 41 

of old women, on their way home after the conclusion oi 
the services, were overheard discussing the merits of the 
several preachers who had that day addressed them from 
the tent. " Leeze me abune them a*," said one of the 
company, who had waxed warm in the discussion, " for yon 
auld clear-headed (bald) man, that said, ' Raphael sings an* 
Gabriel strikes his goolden harp, an' a' the angels clap 
their wings wi' joy.' but it was gran', it just put me in 
min' o' our geese at Dunjarg when they turn their nebs 
to the south an' clap their wings when they see the rain's 
comin' after lang drooth." 

There is a subject closely allied with the religious 
feelings of a people, and that is the subject of their super- 
stitions. To enter upon that question, in a general view, 
especially in reference to the Highlands, would not be 
consistent with our present purpose, but I am induced to 
mention the existence of a singular superstition regarding 
Bwine which existed some years ago among the lower orders 
of the east coast of Fife. I can observe, in my own ex- 
perience, a great change to have taken place amongst Scotch 
people generally on this subject. The old aversion to 
the " unclean animal" still lingers in the Highlands, but 
seems in the Lowland districts to have yielded to a sense 
of its thrift and usefulness."* The account given by my 
correspondent of the Fife swinophobia is as follows : — 

Among the many superstitious notions and customs 
prevalent among the lower orders of the fishing towns on 
the east coast of Fife, till very recently, that class enter- 
tained a great horror of swine, and even at the very 
mention of the word. If that animal crossed their path 
when about to set out on a sea voyage, they considered it 
so unlucky an omen that they would not venture off. A 
clergyman of one of these fishing villages having mentioned 

* I recollect an old Scottish gentleman, who shared this 
horror, asking very gravely, ** Were not swine forbidden under 
the law, and cursed under the gospel ? " 



42 REMINISCENCES OF 

this superstition to a clerical friend, and finding that he 
was rather incredulous on the subject, in order to convince 
him told him he would allow him an opportunity of testing 
the truth of it by allowing him to preach for him the fol- 
lowing day. It was arranged that his friend was to read the 
chapter relating to the herd of swine into which the evil 
spirits ivere cast. Accordingly, when the first verse was read 
in which the unclean beast was mentioned, a slight commo- 
tion was observable among the audience, each one of them 
putting his or her hand on any near piece of iron — a nail 
on the seat or bookboard, or to the nails on their shoes. 
At the repetition of the word again and again, more com- 
motion was visible, and the words " cauld airn" (cold iron) 
the antidote to this baneful spell, were heard issuing from 
various corners of the church. And finally, on his coming 
over the hated word again, when the whole herd, ran 
violently down the bank into the sea, the alarmed pa- 
rishioners, irritated beyond bounds, rose and all left the 
church in bodies. 

It is some time now, however, since the Highlanders 
have begun to appreciate the thrift and comfort of swine- 
keeping and swine-killing. A Scottish minister had been 
persuaded by the laird to keep a pig, and the gudewife had 
been duly instructed in the mysteries of black puddings, 
pork chops, and pig's head ; " Oh ! " said the minister, " nae 
doubt there's a hantle o' miscellawneous eating aboot a pig." 

Amongst a people so deeply impressed with the great 
truths of religion, and so earnest in their religious profes- 
sion, any persons whose principles were known to be of an 
infidel character would naturally be looked on with ab- 
horrence and suspicion. There is a story traditionary in 
Edinburgh regarding David Hume, which illustrates this 
feeling in a very amusing manner, and which, I have heard 
it said, Hume himseK often narrated. The philosopher 
had fallen from the path into the swamp at the back of 
the Castle, the existence of which I recollect hearing of 
from old persons forty years ago. He fairly stuck fast, and 



SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 43 

called to a woman who was passing, and begged lier assist- 
ance. She passed on apparently without attending to the 
request ; at his earnest entreaty, however, she came where 
he was, and asked him, " Are na ye Hume the Atheist ? " 
" Well, weel, no matter," said Hume ; " Christian charity 
commands you to do good to every one." " Christian 
charity here, or Christian charity there," replied the woman, 
" I '11 do naething for you till ye turn a Christian yoursell' 
— ye maun repeat the Lord's Prayer and the Creed, or 
faith I'll let ye grafel* there as I fand ye." The sceptic, 
really afraid for his life, rehearsed the required formulas. 

Notwithstanding the high character borne for so many 
years by our countrymen as a people, and as specially ' 
attentive to all religious observances, still there can be no 
doubt that there has sprung up amongst the inhabitants of 
our crowded cities, wynds, and closes, a class of persons 
quite imknown in the old Scottish times. It is a great 
difficulty to get them to attend divine worship at all, and 
their circumstances combine to break off all associations 
with pubUc services. Their going to church becomes a 
matter of persuasion and of missionary labour. 

A lady, who is most active in visiting the houses of 
these outcasts from the means of grace, gives me an amus- 
ing instance of self-complacency arising from performance 
of the duty. She was visiting in the West Port, not far 
from the church established by my illustrious friend the 
late Dr. Chalmers. Having asked a poor woman if she 
ever attended there for divine service — " Ou ay," she 
replied; "there's a man ca'd Chalmers preaches there, 
and I whiles gang in and hear him, just to encourage him, 
puir body ! " 

From the religious opinions of a people, the transi- 
tion is natural to their political partialities. One great 
political change has passed over Scotland, which none 
now living can hardly be said to have actually witnessed ; 

* Lie in a grovening attitude. See Jamieson. 



44 REMINISCENCES OF 

but they remember those who were contemporaries of 
the anxious scenes of '45, and many of us have known 
determined and thorough Jacobites. The poetry of that 
political period still remains, but we hear only as pleasant 
songs those words and melodies which stirred the hearts 
and excited the deep enthusiasm of a past generation. 
Jacobite anecdotes also are fading from our knowledge. 
To many young persons they are unknown. Of these 
stories illustrative of Jacobite feelings and enthusiasm, 
many are of a character not fit for me to record. The 
good old ladies who were violent partisans of the Stuarts 
had little hesitation in referring without reserve to the 
future and eternal destiny of William of Orange. One 
anecdote which I had from a near relative of the family 
may be adduced in illustration of the powerful hold which 
the cause had upon the views and consciences of Jacobites. 

A former Mr. Stirling of Keir had favoured the Stuart 
cause, and had in fact attended a muster of forces at the 
Brig of Turk previous to the '15. This symptom of a 
rising against the Government occasioned some uneasi- 
ness, and the authorities were very active in their endea- 
vours to discover who were the leaders of the movement. 
Keir was suspected. The miller of Keir was brought for- 
ward as a witness, and swore positively that the laird was 
not present. Now, as it was well known that he was there, 
and that the miller knew it, a neighbour asked him pri- 
vately, when lie came out of the witness-box, how he could 
on oath assert such a falsehood. The miller replied, quite 
undaunted, and with a feeling of confidence in the right- 
eousness of his cause approaching the sublime — " I would 
rather trust my soul in God's mercy than trust Keir's head 
into their hands." 

A correspondent has sent me an account of a curious 
ebullition of Jacobite feeling and enthusiasm, now I suppose 
quite extinct. My correspondent received it himself from 
Alexander, fourth Duke of Gordon, and he had entered it 
in a common-place book when he heard it, in 1826. 



SCfOTTISH LIFE (£: CHARACTER. 45 

*•' David Tulloch, tenant in Drumbenan, under the 
second and third Dukes of Gordon, had been " out'^ in 
the '45 — or ih^ fufteen, or both — and was a great favourite 
of his respective landlords. One day David having at- 
tended the young Lady Susan Gordon (afterwards Duchess 
of Manchester) to the ^ Chapel" at Huntly, David, per- 
ceiving that her ladyship had neither hassock nor carpet to 
protect her garments from the earthen floor, respectfully 
spread his plaid for the young lady to kneel upon, and the 
service proceeded ; but when the prayer for the King and 
Koyal Family was commenced, David, sans ceremonie, drew, 
or rather " twitched," the plaid from under the knees of 
the astonished young lady, exclaiming not sotto voce, " The 
deil a ane shall pray for them on my plaid !" 

I have a still more pungent demonstration against 
praying for the king, which a friend in Aberdeen assures 
me he received from the son of the gentleman who heard 
the protest. In the Episcopal Chapel in Aberdeen, of 
which Primus Johii Skinner was incumbent, they com- 
menced praying in the service for George III. immediately 
on the death of Prince Charles Edward. On the first Sunday 
of the prayer being used, this gentleman's father, walking 
home with a friend whom he knew to be an old and deter- 
mined Jacobite, said to him, " What do you think of that, 

Mr. ?" The reply was, " Indeed, the less we say 

about that prayer the better." But he was pushed for 
" further answer as to his own views and his own ideas 
on the matter," so he came out with the declaration, " Weel, 
then, I say this — they may pray the kenees* aff their 
breeks afore I join in that prayer." 

The following is a characteristic Jacobite story. It 
must have happened shortly after 1745, when all manner 
of devices were fallen upon to display Jacobitism, without 
committing the safety of the Jacobite, such as having white 
knots on gowns ; drinking, " The king, ye ken wha I mean ;' 

* So pronounced in Aberdeen. 



46 REMINISCENCES OF 

uttering the toast " the king " with much apparent 
loyalty, and passing the glass on the one side of the water- 
jug from them, indicating the esoteric meaning of majesty 
heyond the sea, — etc. etc. ; and various toasts, which were 
most important matters in those times, and were often 
given as tests of loyalty, or the reverse, according to the 
company in which they were given. Miss Camegy of 
Craigo, well known and still remembered amongst the 
old Montrose ladies as an uncompromising Jacobite, had 
been vowing that she would drink King James and his 
son in a company of staunch Brunswickers, and being 
strongly dissuaded from any such foolish and dangerous 
attempt by some of her friends present, she answered . 
them with a text of Scripture, " The tongue no man can 
tame — James Third and Aiiclit^^ and drank off her glass !* 

* Implying that there was a James Third of England, Eighth 
cf Scotland. 



SCOTTISH LIFE db CHARACTER. 47 



CHAPTER THE THIRD. 

ON OLD SCOTTISH CONVIVIALITY. 

The next change in manners which has been effected in 
the memory of many now living, regards the habits of 
conviviality, or, to speak more plainly, regards the banish- 
ment of drunkenness from polite society. It is indeed a 
most important and blessed change. But it is a change 
the full extent of which many persons now alive can 
hardly estimate. Indeed it is scarcely possible to realise 
the scenes which took place seventy or eighty years back, 
or even less. In many houses, when a party dined, the 
ladies going away was the signal for the commencement 
of a system of compulsory conviviality. No one was 
allowed to shirk — no daylight — no heeltaps — was the 
wretched jargon in which were expressed the propriety 
and the duty of seeing that the glass, when filled, must be 
emptied and drained. We have heard of glasses having 
the bottoms knocked off, so that no shuffling tricks might 
be played with them, and that they could only be put 
down — empty. 

One cannot help looking back with amazement at the 
infatuation which could for a moment tolerate such a sore 
evil. To a man of sober inclinations, it must have been 
an intolerable nuisance to join a dinner party at many 
houses, where he knew he should have to witness the 
most disgusting excesses in others, and to fight hard to 
preserve himself from a compliance with the example of 
those around him. 

The scenes of excess w^hich occurred in the houses 



48 " REMimSCENCES 0? 

where deep drinking was practised must have been most 
revolting to sober persons who were unaccustomed to 
such conviviality ; as in the case of a drinking Angus 
laird, entertaining as his guest a London merchant of 
formal manners and temperate habits. The poor man was 
driven from the table when the drinking set in hard, and 
stole away to take refuge in his bedroom. The company, 
however, were determined not to let the worthy citizen off 
so easily, but proceeded in a body, with the laird at their 
head, and invaded his privacy by exhibiting bottles and 
glasses at his bed-side. Losing all patience, the wretched 
victim gasped out his indignation — " Sir, your hospitality 
borders upon brutality." It must have had a fatal 
influence also on may persons to whom drinking was most 
injurious, and who were yet not strong-minded enough to 
resist the temptations to excess. Poor James Boswell, 
who certainly required no extraordinary urging to take a 
glass too much, is found in his letters which have recently 
come to light, laying the blame of his excesses to " falling 
into a habit which stiU prevails in Scotland ;" and then 
he remarks, with censorious emphasis, on the '* drunken 
manners of his countrymen." This was about 1770. 

A friend of mine, however, lately departed — Mr. Bos- 
well of Balmuto— showed more spirit than the Londoner, 
when he found himself in a similar situation. Challenged 
by the host to drink, urged and almost forced to swallow 
a quantity of wine against his own inclination, he proposed 
a counter-challenge in the way of eating, and made the 
following ludicrous and original proposal to the company, 
that two or three legs of mutton should be prepared, and 
he would then contest the point of who could devour most 
meat ; and certainly it seems as reasonable to compel 
people to eat, as to compel them to drink, beyond the 
natural cravings of nature. 

The situation of ladies, too, must frequently have been 
very disagreeable — when, for instance, gentlemen came up 
stairs in a condition most unfit for female society. Lideed 



SCOTTISH LIFE <S: CHARACTER. 49 

they were often compelled to fly from scenes which were 
most unfitting for them to witness. They were expected 
to get out of the way at the proper time, or when a hint 
was given them to do so. At Glasgow sixty years ago, 
when the time had come for the howl to be introduced, 
some jovial and thirsty member of the company proposed 
as a toast, " The trade of Glasgow and the outward hound .f^ 
the Jiint was taken, and silks and satins moved ofi:" to the 
drawing-room. 

In my part of the country the traditionary stories of 
drinking prowess are quite marvellous. On Deeside there 
flourished a certain Saunders Paul (whom I remember an 
old man), an innkeeper at Banchory. He was said to have 
drank whisky, glass for glass, to the claret of Mr. Maule 
and the Laird of Skene for a whole evening ; and in those 
days there was a traditional story of his despatching, at 
one sitting, in company with a character celebrated for 
conviviality — one of the men employed to float rafts of 
timber down the Dee — three dozen of porter. Of this Mr. 
Paul it was recorded, that on being asked if he considered 
porter as a wholesome beverage, he replied, " Oh yes, if 
you don't take above a dozen." Saunders Paul was, as I 
have said, the innkeeper at Banchory ; his friend and 
forter companion was drowned in the Dee, and when told 
that the body had been found down the stream below 
Crathes, he coolly remarked, " I am surprised at that, for 
I never kenn'd him pass the inn before without comin' in 
for a glass." 

Some relatives of mine travelling in the Highlands 
were amused by observing in a small road-side public- 
house a party drinking, whose apparatus for conviviality 
called forth the dry quaint humour which is so thoroughly 
Scottish. Three drovers had met together and were cele- 
brating their meeting by a liberal consumption of whisky ; 
the inn could only furnish one glass without a bottom, 
and this the party passed on from one to another. A 
queer-looking pawky chield, whenever the glass came to 



50 REMINISCENCES OF 

his turn, remarked most gravely, " I think we wadna be 
the waur o' some water," taking care, however, never to 
add any of the simple element, but quietly drank off his 
glass. 

There was a sort of infatuation in the supposed dignity 
and manliness attached to powers of deep potation, and the 
fatal effects of drinking were spoken of in a manner both 
reckless and unfeeling. Thus, I have been assured that a 
well-known old laird of the old school expressed himself 
with great indignation at the charge brought against hard 
drinking that it had actually hilled people. " Na, na, I 
never knew onybody killed wi' drinking, but I hae kend 
some that deed in the training." A positive eclat was 
attached to the accomplished and well-trained consumer 
of claret or of whisky toddy, which gave an import- 
ance and even merit to the practice of drinking, and 
which had a most injurious effect. I am afraid some of 
the Pleydells of the old school would have looked with the 
most ineffable contempt on the degeneracy of the present 
generation in this respect, and that the temperance move- 
ment would be little short of insanity in their eyes ; and 
this leads me to a remark. — In considering this portion of 
our subject, we should bear in mind a distinction. The 
change we now speak of involves more than a mere change 
of a custom or practice in social life. It is a change in 
men's sentiments and feelings on a certain great question 
of morals. Except we enter into this distinction we can- 
not appreciate the extent of the change which has really 
taken place in regard to intemperate habits. 

I have an anecdote from a descendant of Principal 
Robertson, of an address made to him, which showed the 
real importance attached to all that concerned the system 
of drinking in his time. The Principal had been invited 
to spend some days in a country-house, and the minister 
of the parish (a jovial character) had been asked to meet 
liim. Before dinner he went up to Dr. Eobertson and 
addressed him confidentially, "Doctor, I understand ye 



SCOTTISH LIFE d: CHARACTER. 51 

are a brother of my gude freend Peter Kobertson of Edin- 
burgh, therefore I'll gie you a piece of advice, — Bend* 
weel to the Madeira at dinner, for here ye '11 get little o't 
after " I have known persons who held that a man who 
could not drink must have a degree of feebleness and im- 
becility of character. But as this is an important point, I 
will adduce the higher authority of Lord Cockbum, and 
quote from him two examples, very different certainly in 
their nature, but both bearing upon the question. I refer 
to what he says of Lord Hermand — "With Hermand drink- 
ing was a virtue ; he had a sincere respect for drinking, 
indeed a high moral approbation, and a serious compassion 
for the poor wretches who could not indulge in it, and 
with due contempt of those who could but did not ;" and, 
secondly, I refer to Lord Cockbum's pages for an anecdote 
which illustrates the perverted feeling I refer to, now 
happily no longer existing. It relates the opinion expressed 
by an old drunken writer of Selkirk (whose name is not 
mentioned) regarding his anticipation of professional success 
for Mr. Cranstoun, afterwards Lord Corehouse. Sir Walter 
Scott, William Erskine, and Cranstoun, had dined with this 
Selkirk writer, and Scott — of hardy, strong, and healthy 
frame — had matched the writer himself in the matter of 
whisky punch. Poor Cranstoun, of refined and delicate 
mental and bodily temperament, was a bad hand at such 
work, and was soon off the field. On the party breaking 
up, the Selkirk writer expressed his admiration of Scott, 
assuring him that he would rise high in the profession, 
and adding : "I'll tell ye what, Maister Walter, that lad 
Cranstoun may get to the tap o' the bar, if he can ; but 
tak my word for't, it's no be by drinking." 

There was a sort of dogged tone of apology for excess 
in drinking, which marked the hold which the practice 
had gained on ordinary minds. Of this we have a re- 
markable example in the unwilling testimony of a 
witness who was examined as to the fact of drunkenness 

* Old Scotch for drink hard. 



52 REMINISCENCES OF 

being charged against a minister. Tlie person examined 
was beadle or one of the churcli-officials. He was asked, 
" Did you ever see the minister the worse of drink ? " 
" I canna say I Ve seen him the waur o' drink, but nae 
doubt I've seen him the hetter o't," was the evasive answer. 
The question, however, was pushed further ; and when he 
was urged to say if this state of being " the better for 
drink " ever extended to a condition of absolute helpless 
intoxication, the reply was : " Indeed afore that cam' I was 
blind fou myseV, and I could see naething." 

A legal friend has told me of a celebrated circuit 
where Lord Hermand was judge, and Clephane depute- 
advocate. The party got drunk at A}t, and so continued 
(although quite able for their work) till the business was 
concluded at Jedburgh.- Some years after my informant 
heard that this circuit had, at Jedburgh, acquired the 
permanent name of the " daft circuit." 

Lord Cockburn was fond of describing a circuit scene 
at Stirling, in his early days at the bar, under the pre- 
sidency of his friend and connection Lord Hermand. 
After the circuit dinner, and when drinking had gone on 
for some time, young Cockburn observed places becoming 
vacant in the social circle, but no one going out at the 
door. He found that the individuals had dropped down 
under the table. He took the hint, and by this ruse 
retired from the scene. He lay quiet till the beams of the 
morning sun penetrated the apartment. The judge and 
some of his staunch friends coolly walked up stairs, washed 
their hands and faces, came down to breakfast, and went 
into court quite fresh and fit for work. 

The feeling of importance frequently attached to 
powers of drinking was formally attested by a well-known 
western baronet of convivial habits and convivial memory. 
He was desirous of bearing testimony to the probity, 
honour, and other high moral quaKties of a friend whom 
he wished to commend. Having fully stated these claims 
to consideration and respect, he deemed it proper to notice 



SCOTTISH LIFE d: CHARACTER. 53 

rIso liis convivial attainments ; he added accordingly, with 
cautious approval on so important a point — " And he is a 
fair drinker." ^ 

The following anecdote is an amusing example of 
Scottish servant humour and acuteness in measuring the 
extent of consumption by a convivial party in Forfarshire. 
The party had met at a farmer's house not far from 
Arbroath, to celebrate the reconciliation of two neighbour- 
ing farmers who had long been at enmity. The host was 
pressing and hospitable ; the party sat late, and consumed 
a vast amount of whisky toddy. The wife was penurious, 
and grudged the outlay. When at last, at a morning hour, 
the party dispersed, the lady, who had not slept in her 
anxiety, looked over the stairs and eagerly asked the 
servant girl, " How many bottles of whisky have they 
used, Betty ? " The lass, who had not to pay for the 
whisky, but had been obliged to go to the well to fetch 
the water for the toddy, coolly answered, " I dinna ken, 
mem, but they've drucken sax gang o' watter." 

We cannot imagine a better illustration of the general 
habits that prevailed in Scottish society in regard to drink- 
ing about the time we speak of than one which occui*s in 
the recently-published " Memoirs of a Banking House," 
that of the late Sir William Forbes, Bart, of Pitsligo. 
The book comprises much that is interesting to the family, 
and to Scotchmen. It contains a pregnant hint as to the 
manners of polite society and business habits in those days. 
Of John Coutts, one of four brothers connected with the 
house. Sir William records how he was " more correct in 

* A friend learned in Scottish history suggests an ingenious 
remark, that this might mean more than a mere full drinker. 
To drink **fair," used to imply that the person drank in the 
same proportion as the company ; to drink more would be un- 
mannerly ; to drink less might imply some unfair motive. 
Either interpretation shows the importance attached to drinking 
and all that concerned it. 



54 REMINISCENCES OF 

his conduct tlian the others ; so much so, that Sir William 
never hut once saw him in the counting-house disguised 
with liquor, and incapable of transacting business." 

In the Highlands this sort of feeling extended to an 
almiost incredible extent, even so much as to obscure the 
moral and religious sentiments. Of this a striking proof 
was afforded in a circumstance which took place in my own 
church soon after I came into it. One of our Gaelic clergy 
had so far forgotten himself as to appear in the church 
somewhat the worse of liquor. This having happened so 
often as to come to the ears of the bishop, he suspended 
him from the performance of divine service. Against this 
decision the people were a little disposed to rebel, because, 
according to their Highland notions, *^ a gentleman was no 
the waur for being able to tak a gude glass o* whisky." 
These were the notions of a people in whose eyes the power 
of swallowing whisky conferred distinction, and with whom 
inability to take the fitting quantity was a mark of a mean 
and futile character. Sad to tell, the funeral rites of 
Highland chieftains were not supposed to have been duly 
celebrated except there was an immoderate and often 
fatal consumption of whisky. It has been related that at 
the last funeral in the Highlands, conducted according to 
the traditions of the olden times, several of the guests fell 
victims to the usage, and actually died of the excesses. 

This phase of old and happily almost obsolete Scottish 
intemperance at funeral solemnities must have been pecu- 
liarly revolting. Instances of this horrid practice being 
carried to a great extent are traditionary in every part of 
the country. I am assured of the truth of the following 
anecdote by a son of the gentleman who acted as chief 
mourner on the occasion : — About seventy years ago, an 
old maiden lady died in Strathspey. Just previous to her 
death, she sent for her grand-nephew, and said to him, 
" Willy, I'm deein', and as ye'll hae the charge o' a' I have, 
mind now that as much whisky is to be used at my funeral 
as there was at my baptism." Willy neglected to ask the 



SCOTTISH LIFE <& CHARACTER, 65 

old lady what the quantity of whisky used at the baptism 
was, but when the day of the funeral arrived, believed 
her orders would be best fulfilled by allowing each guest 
to drink as much as he pleased. The churchyard where 
the body was to be deposited was about ten miles distant 
from where the death occurred. It was a short day in 
November, and when the funeral party came to the church- 
yard, the shades of night had considerably closed in. The 
grave-digger, whose patience had been exhausted in waiting, 

was not in the least willing to accept of Captain G 's 

(the chief mourner) apology for delay. After looking about 
him he put the anxious question, " But, Captain, whaur's 
Miss Ketty ?" The reply was, " In her coffin, to be sure, 
and get it into the earth as fast as you can." There, how- 
ever, was no coffin ; the procession had sojourned at a 
country inn by the way — had rested the body on a dyke 
— started without it — and had to postpone the interment 
until next day. My correspondent very justly adds the 
remark, " What would be thought of indulgence in drink- 
ing habits now that could lead to such a result ?" 

Many scenes of a similar incongruous character are still 
traditionally connected with such occasions. Within the 
last thirty years, a laird of Dundonald, a small estate in 
Eoss-shire^ died at Inverness. There was open house for 
some days, and great eating and drinking. Here the corpse 
commenced its progress towards its appointed home on the 
coast, and people followed in multitudes to give it a par- 
tial convoy, all of whom had to be entertained. It took 
altogether a fortnight to bury poor Dundonald, and great 
expense must have been incurred. This, however, is 
looked back to at Inverness as the last of the real grand 
old Highland funerals. Such notions of what is due to 
the memory of the departed have now become unusual if 
not obsolete. I myself witnessed the first decided change 
in this matter. I officiated at the funeral of the late Duke 
of Sutherland. The procession was a mile long. Eefresh- 
ments were provided for 7000 persons ; beef, bread, and 



56 REMINISCENCES OF 

beer ; but not one glass of wMsky was allowed on the pro- 
perty that day ! 

It may, perhaps, be said that the change we speak of 
is not peculiar to Scotland ; that in England the same 
change has been apparent ; and that drunkenness has 
passed away in the higher circles, as a matter of course. 
as refinement and taste made an advancement in society. 
This is true. But there were some features of the question 
which were peculiar to Scotland, and which at one time 
rendered it less probable that intemperance would give 
way in the north. It seemed in some quarters to have 
taken deeper root amongst us. The system of pressing, or 
of compelling, guests to drink seemed more inveterate. 
Nothing can more powerfully illustrate the deep-rooted 
character of intemperate habits in families than an anec- 
dote which was related to me, as coming from the late 
Mr. Mackenzie, author of the ** Man of Feeling," He 
had been involved in a regular drinking party. He was 
keeping as free from the usual excesses as he was able, 
and as he marked companions around him falling victims 
to the power of drink, he himself dropped off under the 
table among the slain, as a measure of precaution, and 
lying there, his attention was called to a small pair of 
hands working at his throat ; on asking what it was, a 
voice replied, " Sir, I 'm the lad that 's to lowse the neck- 
cloths." Here, then, was a family, where, on drinking 
occasions, it was the appointed duty of one of the house- 
hold to attend, and, when the guests were becoming helpless, 
to untie their cravats in fear of apoplexy or suffocation. 
We ought certainly to be grateful for the change which 
has taken place from such a system ; for this change has 
made a great revolution in Scottish social life. The charm 
and the romance long attached in the minds of some of 
our countrymen to the whole system and concerns of hard 
drinking was indeed most lamentable and absurd. At 
tavern suppers, where, nine times out of ten, it was the 
express object of those who went to get drunk, such stuff' 



SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 57 

as " regal purple stream," " rosy wine," " quaffing the gob 
let," " bright sparkling nectar," " chasing the rosy hours," 
and so on, tended to keep up the delusion, and make it 
a monstrous fine thing for men to sit up drinking half 
the night, to have frightful headachs all next day, to 
make maudlin idiots of themselves as they were going 
home, and to become brutes amongst their family when 
they arrived And here I may introduce the mention of 
a practice connected with the convivial habits of which we 
have been speaking, but which has for some time passed 
away, at least from private tables — I mean the absurd 
system of calling for toasts and sentiments each time the 
glasses were filled. During dinner not a drop could be 
touched, except in conjunction with others, and with 
each drinking to the health of each. But toasts came 
after dinner. I can just remember the practice in partial 
operation ; and my astonishment as a mere boy, when 
accidentally dining at table and hearing my mothei 
called upon to " give the company a gentleman," is one 
of my earliest reminiscences. Lord Cockbum must have 
remembered them well, and I will quote his most amusing 
account of the effects : — " After dinner, and before the 
ladies retired, there generally began what was called 
^ Rounds^ of toasts, when each gentleman named an absent 
lady, and each lady an absent gentleman, separately ; or 
one person was required to give an absent lady, and 
another person was required to match a gentleman with 
that lady, and the persons named were toasted, generally, 
with allusions and jokes about the fitness of the union. 
And worst of all, there were ^ Sentiments.' These were 
short epigrammatic sentences expressive of moral feelings 
and virtues, and were thought refined and elegant pro- 
ductions. A faint conception of their nauseousness may 
be formed from the following examples, every one of which 
I have heard given a thousand times, and which indeed I 
only recollect from their being favourites. The glasses 
being filled, a person was asked for his or for her senti- 



58 REMINISCENCES OF 

ment, when this, or something similar, was committed, 
* May the pleasures of the evening bear the reflections of 
the morning ;' or, * may the friends of our youth be the 
companions of our old age;' or, ^delicate pleasures to 
susceptible minds ;' ^may the honest heart never feel dis- 
tress ;' ^may the hand of charity wipe the tear from the 
eye of sorrow.' The conceited, the ready, or the reckless, 
hackneyed in the art, had a knack of making new senti- 
ments applicable to the passing incidents with great ease. 
But it was a dreadful oppression on the timid or the 
awkward. They used to shudder, ladies particularly ; for 
nobody was spared when their turn in the round ap- 
proached. Many a struggle and blush did it cost ; but 
this seemed only to excite the tyranny of the masters of 
the craft ; and compliance could never be avoided, except 
by more torture than yielding. . . . It is difficult for 
those who have been under a more natural system to com- 
prehend how a sensible man, a respectable matron, a worthy 
old maid, and especially a girl, could be expected to go 
into company easily, on such conditions.""^ 

This accompaniment of domestic drinking, I mean of 
accompanying each glass by a toast or sentiment — the 
practice of which is now confined to public entertain- 
ments — was then invariable in private parties, and was 
supposed to enliven and promote the good fellowship of 
the social circle. Tbus Ferguson, in one of his poems, in 
describing a dinner, says — 

* ' The grace is said ; it's nae ewer lang, 
The claret reams in bells. 
Quo* Deacon, * Let the toast round gang ; 
Come, here's our noble sels 
Weel met the day.' " 

There was a great variety of these toasts, some of them 
exclusively Scottish. A correspondent has favoured me 
with a few reminiscences of such incentives to inebriety. 

* Lord Cockburn's Memorials of his Time, p. 37, ei scq. 



SCOTTISH LIFE S CHARACTER. 59 

The ordinary form of drinking a health was in the 
address, " Here's t'eye." 

Then such as the following were named by successive 
members of the company at the call of the host : — 

The land o' calces {Scotland). 

Mair freens and less need o' them. 

Thumping luck and fat weans. 

When ive We gaun up the hill o' fortune may we ne^er 

meet a frien^ coming doun, 
Mag n/er waur he amang us. 
Mag the hinges o' friendship never rust, or the wings o' 

luve lose a feather. 
Here^s to them that Ides us, or lenns us a lift. 
Heris health to the sick, stilts to the lame ; claise to the 

hack, and hrose to the wame. 
Here's health, wealth, wit, and meal. 
The deil rock them in a creel that does noH wish us cC 

weel. 
Horny hands and weather-heaten haffets {cheeks). 
The rending d rocks and the puHnU doun d auld houses. 

The above two belong to the mason craft ; the first 
implies a wish for plenty of work, and health to do it ; 
the second, to erect new buildings and clear away old 
ones. 

May the winds o' adversity nder hlaio open our door. 
May poortith nier throw us in the dirt, or gowd into the 

high saddle!^ 
May the mov^e nder leave our meal-pock wC the tear in 

its e^e. 
Blythe may we cH he. 
Ill may ive never see. 
Breeks and hrochan {hrose). 
May we nder want a freend or a drappie to gie him. 

* May we never be cast down by adversity, or unduly ele- 
vated by prosperity. 



60 REMINISCENCES OF 

Gude een to you a\ art talc your nappy, 

A vnlly-waugMs a gude night cappy?" 

May we a! he canty arC cosy. 

All! ilk hae a wife in his bosy. 

A cosy hut, and a canty hen, 

To couthie t women and trusty men. 

The ingle neuh wV routh % o' hannochs and hairns, 

Here^s to him wha winna heguile ye, 

Mair sense and mair siller, 

Horn, corn, wool, an^ yarn.\ 

The system of giving toasts was so regularly established, 
that collections of them were published to add brilliancy 
to the festive board. By the kindness of the librarian, I 
have seen a little volume which is in the Writers' Library 
of Edinburgh. It is entitled, " The Gentleman's New Bot- 
tle Companion," Edinburgh, printed in the year mdcclxxvii. 
It contains various toasts and sentiments which the wiiter 
considered to be suitable to such occasions. Of the taste 
and decency of the companies where some of them could 
be made use of, the less is said the better. 

I have heard also of large traditionary collections of 
toasts and sentiments, belonging to old clubs and societies, 
extending back above a century, but I have not seen any 
of them, and I believe my readers will think they have 
had quite enough. 

The favourable reaction which has taken place in 
regard to the whole system of intemperance may very 
fairly, in the first place, be referred to an improved moral 
feeling. But other causes have also assisted ; and it is 
curious to observe how the different changes in the modes 
of society bear upon one another. The alteration in the 
convivial habits which we are noticing in our own country 
may be partly due to alteration of hours. The old plan 

* A toast at parting or breaking up of the party. 
t Loving. X Plenty. § Toast for agricultural dinners. 



SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 61 

of early dining favoured a system of suppers, and after 
supper was a great time for convivial songs and sentiments. 
This of course induced drinking to a late hour. Most 
drinking songs imply the night as the season of conviviality 
— thus in a popular madrigal : — 

** By the gaily circling glass, 
We can tell how minutes pass ; 
By the hollow cask we're told, 
How the waning night grows old. " 

And Burns thus marks the time : — 

** It is the moon, I ken her horn, 
That's blinkin' in the lift sae hie ; 
She shines sae bright, to wyle us hame, 
But by my sooth she'll wait a wee. " 

The young people of the present day have no idea of 
the state of matters in regard to the supper system when 
it was the normal condition of society. The late dining 
hours may make the social circle more formal, but they 
have been far less favourable to drinking propensities. 
After such dinners as ours are now, suppers are clearly 
out of the question. One is astonished to look back and 
recal the scenes to which were attached associations of 
hilarity, conviviality, and enjoyment. Drinking parties 
were protracted beyond the whole Sunday, having begun 
by a dinner on Saturday ; imbecility and prostrate help- 
lessness were a common result of these bright and jovial 
scenes ; and by what perversion of language, or by what 
obliquity of sentimeat, the notions of pleasure could be 
attached to scenes of such excess — to the nausea, the dis- 
gust of sated appetite, and the racking headache — it is not 
easy to explain. There were men of heads so hard, and of 
stomachs so insensible, that, like my friend Saunders Paul, 
they could stand anything in the way of drink. But to 
men in general, and to the more delicate constitutions, 
such a life must have been a cause of great misery. To a 
certain extent, and up to a certain point, wine may be a 



62 EFMINISCEXCES OF 

refreshment and a wholesome stimulant ; nay it is a medi^ 
cine, and a valuable one, and as such, comes recommended 
on fitting occasions by the physician. Beyond this point, 
as sanctioned and approved by nature, the use of wine is 
only degradation. Well did the sacred writer call wine, 
when thus taken in excess, " a mocker." It makes all 
men equal, because it makes them all idiotic. It allures 
them into a vicious indulgence, and then mocks their folly, 
by depriving them of any sense they may ever have pos- 
sessed. 

Eeference has already been made to Lord Hermand's 
opinion of drinking, and to the high estimation in whicli 
he held a staunch drinker, according to the testimony of 
Lord Cockburn. There is a remarkable corroboration of 
this opinion in a current anecdote which is traditionary 
regarding the same learned judge. A case of some great 
offence was tried before him, and the counsel pleaded 
extenuation for his client in that he was drunh when 
he committed the offence. " Drunk !" exclaimed Lord 
Hermand, in great indignation ; " if he could do such a 
thing when he was drunk, what might he not have done 
when he was sober F evidently implying that the normal 
condition of human nature, and its most hopeful one, was a 
condition of intoxication. 

Of the prevalence of hard drinking in certain houses 
as a system, a remarkable proof is given at page 55. The 
following anecdote still further illustrates the subject, and 
corresponds exactly with the story of the " loosing the 
cravats," which was performed for guests in a state oi 
helpless inebriety by one of the household. There had 
been a carousing party at Castle Grant, many years ago, 
and as the evening advanced towards morning, two High- 
landers were in attendance to carry the guests up stairs, it 
being understood that none could by any other means 
arrive at their sleeping apartments. One or two of the 
guests, however, whether from their abstinence or their 
superior strength of head, were walking up stairs, and de- 



SCOTTISH LIFE dc CHARACTER. 63 

clined the proffered assistance. The attendants were quite 
astonished, and indignantly exclaimed, " Agh, it*s sare 
cheenged times at Castle Grant, whien gentlemens can gang 
to bed on their ain feet." 

There was a practice in many Scottisli houses which 
favoured most injuriously the national tendency to spirit- 
drinking, and that was a foolish and inconsiderate custom 
of offering a glass on all occasions as a mark of kindness 
or hospitality. I mention the custom only for the purpose 
of offering a remonstrance. It should never be done. 
Even now, I am assured, small jobs (carpenter's or black- 
smith's, or such like) are constantly remunerated in the 
West Highlands of Scotland — and doubtless in many other 
parts of the country — not by a pecuniary payment, but by 
a dram ; if the said dram be taken from a sjoe^rz'^-decanter 
out of the family press or cupboard, the compliment is 
esteemed the greater, and the offering doubly valued. 

A very amusing dialogue between a landlord and his 
tenant on this question of the dram has been sent to me. 
John Colquhoun, an aged Dumbartonshire tenant, is asked 
by the Laird of C. on Loch Lomond side, his landlord, to 
stay a minute till he tastes. " Now, John," says the laird. 
" Only haK a glass, Camstraddale," meekly pleads John. 
"Which half?" rejoins the laird, "the upper or the 
lower ?" John grins, and turns off both — the u}'>per and 
lower too. 

The upper and lower portions of the glass furnish 
another drinking anecdote. A very greedy old lady em- 
ployed another John Colquhoun to cut the grass upon the 
lawn, and enjoined him to cut it very close, adding, as a 
reason for the injunction, that one inch at the bottom was 
worth two at the top. Having finished his work much to 
her satisfaction, the old lady got out the whisky bottle and 
a tapering wine glass, which she filled about half full ; 
John suggested that it would be better to fill it up, slily 
adding, " Fill it up, mem, for it's no like the gress ; an inci 
at the tap's worth twa at the bottom.'* 



€1 REMINISCENCES OF 

But the most whimsical anecdote connected with the 
subject of drink, is one traditionary in the south of Scot- 
land, regarding an old Gallowegian lady disclaiming more 
drink, under the following circumstances : — The old 
generation of Galloway lairds were a primitive and hospit- 
able race, but their conviviality sometimes led to awkward 
occurrences. In former days, when roads were bad, and 
wheeled vehicles almost unknown, an old laird was re- 
turning from a supper party, with his lady mounted behind 
him on horseback. On crossing the river Urr, at a ford 
at a point where it joins the sea, the old lady dropped off, 
but was not missed till her husband reached his door, 
when, of course, there was an immediate search made. 
The party who were despatched in quest of her arrived 
just in time to find her remonstrating with the advancing 
tide, which trickled into her mouth, in these words, " No 
anither drap ; neither het nor cauld." 

I would now introduce, as a perfect illustration of this 
portion of our subject, two descriptions of clergymen, welL 
known men in their day, which are taken from Dr. Carlyle's 
work, already referred to. Of Dr. Alexander Webster, a 
clergyman, and one of his contemporaries, he writes thus — 
" Webster, leader of the high-flying party, had justly 
obtained much respect amongst the clergy, and all ranks 
indeed, for having established the Widows' Fund. . . . 
His appearance of great strictness in religion, to w^hich he 
was bred under his father, who was a very popular minister 
of the Tolbooth Church, not acting in restraint of his con- 
vivial humour, he was held to be excellent company even 
by those of dissolute manners ; while, being a five-bottle 
man, he could lay them all imder the table. This had 
brought on him the nickname of Dr. Bonum Magnum in 
the time of faction. But never being indecently the worse 
of liquor, and a love of claret, to any degree, not being 
reckoned in those days a sin in Scotland, all his excesses 
were pardoned." 

Dr. Patrick Gumming, also a clergyman and a contem* 



SCOTTISH LIFE S CHARACTER. 65 

porury, he describes in tlie following terms : — " Dr. Patrick 
Gumming was, at this time (1751), at the head of the 
moderate interest, and had his temper been equal to hia 
talents, might have kept it long, for he had both learning 
and sagacity, and very agreeable conversation, with a con- 
stitution able to hear the conviviality of the timesr 

Now, of all the anecdotes and facts which I have col- 
lected, or of all which I have ever heard to illustrate the 
state of Scottish society in the past times, as regards its 
habits of intemperance, this assuredly surpasses them all. — 
Of two well-known, distinguished, and leading clergymen 
in the middle of the eighteenth century, one who had 
" obtained much respect," and " had the appearance of great 
strictness in religion," is described as an enormous drinker 
of claret ; the other, an able leader of a powerful section 
in the church, is described as owing his influence to his 
power of meeting the conviviality of the times. Suppose 
for a moment a future biographer should write in this strain 
of eminent divines, and should apply to distinguished 
members of the Scottish Church in 1863 such description 

as the following : — " Dr. was a man who took a leading 

part in all church affairs at this time, and was much looked 
up to by the evangelical section of the General Assembly; 
he could always carry off without difficulty his five bottles 

of claret. Dr. had great influence in society, and led 

the opposite party in the General Assembly, as he could 
take his place in all companies, and drink on fair terms at 
the most convivial tables ! !" Why, this seems to us so 
monstrous, that we can scarcely believe Dr. Carlyle^s account 
of matters in his day to be possible. 

There is a story which illustrates, with terrible force, 
the power which drinking had obtained in Scottish social 
life. I have been deterred from bringing it forward, as too 
shocking for production. But as the story is pretty well 
known, and its truth vouched for on high authority, I 
venture to give it, as affording a proof that, in those days, 
no consideration, not even the most awful that affects 

F 



66 REMINISCENCES OF 

human nature, could be made to outweigh tlie claims of a 
determined conviviality. It may, I think, be mentioned 
also, in the way of warning men generally against the 
hardening and demoralizing effects of habitual drunkenness. 
The story is this : — At a j)rolonged drinking bout, one of 
the party remarked, " What gars the laird of Garskadden 
luk sae gash ?"* " Ou," says his neighbour, the laird of 
Kilmardinny, " Garskadden's been wf his Maker these twa 
hours ; I saw him step awa, but I didna like to disturb 
gude company !"t 

Before closing this subject of excess in drinking^ I may 
refer to another indulgence in which our countrymen are 
generally supposed to partake more largely than their 
neighbours : — I mean snuff-taking. The popular southern 
ideas of a Scotchman and his snuff-box are inseparable. 
Smoking does not appear to have been practised more in 
Scotland than in England, and if Scotchmen are sometimes 
intemperate in the use of snuff, it is certainly a more 
innocent excess than intemperance in whisky. I recollect, 
amongst the common people in the noith, a mode of taking 
snuff w^hich showed a determination to make the most of 
it, and which indicated somewhat of intemperance in the 
enjoyment ; this was to receive it, not through a pinch 
between the fingers, but through a quill or little bone 
laddie, which forced it up the nose. But besides smoking 
and snuffing, I have a reminiscence of a third use to 
tobacco, which I apprehend is now quite obsolete. Some 
of my readers w^ill be surprised when I name this forgotten 
luxury. It was called plugging^ and consisted {horresco 
referens) in poking a piece of pig-tail tobacco right into 
the nostril. I remember this distinctly, and now, at a 
distance of more than sixty years, I recal my utter astonish- 
ment as a boy, at seeing my grand-uncle, with whom I lived 

Ghastly. 
t The scene is described and place mentioned in Dr, Strang's 
account of Glasgow Clubs, p. 104, 2d edit. 



SCOTTISH LIFE d: CHAEACTER. ^7 

111 early daj'-s, put a thin piece of tobacco fairly up his nose. 
1 suppose the plug acted as a continued stimulant on the 
olfactory nerve, and was, in short, like taking a perpetual 
pinch of snuff. 

The inveterate snuff-taker, like the dram-drinker, felt 
severely the being deprived of his accustomed stimulant, 
as in the following instance : — A severe snow-storm in the 
Highlands, which lasted for several weeks, having stopped 
all communication betwixt neighbouring hamlets, the snuff- 
boxes were soon reduced to their last pinch. Borrowing 
and begging from all the neighbours within reach were first 
resorted to, but when these failed, all were alike reduced 
to the longing which un\\dllingly-abstinent snuff-takers 
alone know. The minister of the parish was amongst the 
unhappy number ; the craving was so intense, that study 
was out of the question, and he became quite restless. As 
a last resort, the beadle was despatched, tlirough the snow, 
to a neighbouring glen, in the hope of getting a supply ; 
but he came back as unsuccessful as he went. " What's to 
be dune, John ?" was the minister's pathetic inquiry. John 
shook his head, as much as to say that he could not tell ; 
but immediately thereafter started up, as if a new idea had 
occurred to him. He came back in a few minutes, crying, 
" Hae ! " The minister, too eager to be scrutinizing, took a 
long, deep pinch, and then said, " Whaur did you get it ?" 
"I soupit"^ the poupit," was John's expressive reply. The 
minister's accumulated superflaous Sabbath snuff now came 
into good use. 

It does not appear that at this time a similar excess in 
eating accompanied this prevalent tendency to excess in 
drinking. Scottish tables were at that period plain and 
abundant, but epicurism or gluttony do not seem to have 
been handmaids to drunkenness. A humorous anecdote, 
liowever, of a full-eating laird, may well accompany those 
which appertain to the drinJcing lairds. — A lady in the 

* Swept 



68 REMINISCENCES OF 

nortli having watclied the proceedings of a guest, who ate 
long and largely, she ordered the servant to take away, as 
he had at last laid down his knife and fork. To her sur- 
prise, however, he resumed his work, and she apologised to 

him, saying, " I thought, Mr. , you had done." " Oh, 

so I had, mem ; but I just fan' a doo in the redd o' my 
plate." He had discovered a pigeon lurking amongst the 
bones and refuse of his plate, and could not resist finisii- 
ing it 



SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 



CHAPTER THE FOURTH. 

ON THE OLD SCOTTISH DOMESTIC SERVANT. 

We come now to a subject on whicli a great change has 
taken place in this country during my o'svn experience, 
I allude to the third division which we proposed of these 
desultory remarks — viz., those peculiarities of intercourse 
which some years back marked the connection between 
masters and servants. In many Scottish houses a great 
familiarity prevailed between members of the family and 
the domestics. For this many reasons might have been 
assigned. Indeed, when we consider the simple modes of 
life which discarded the ideas of ceremony or etiquette ; 
the retired and uniform style of living which afforded few 
opportunities for any change in the domestic arrangements ; 
and when we add to these a free, unrestrained, unfor- 
mal, and natural style of intercommunion, which seems 
rather a national characteristic, we need not be surprised 
to find in quiet Scottish families a sort of intercourse with 
old domestics which can hardly be looked for at a time 
when habits are so changed, and where much of the quiet 
eccentricity belonging to us as a national characteristic is 
almost necessarily softened down or driven out. Many 
circumstances conspired to promote familiarity with old 
domestics which are now entirely changed. We take the 
case of a domestic coming early into service and passing 
year after year in the same family. The servant grows up 
into old age and confirmed habits when the laird is becom- 
ing a man, a husband, fathe]; of a family. The domestic 
cannot forget the days when his master was a child, riding 



70 REMINISCENCES OF 

on his back, applying to Mm for help in difficulties aboiil 
his fishing, his rabbits, his pony, his going to school. All 
the family know how attached he is ; nobody likes to 
speak harshly to him. He is a privileged man. The 
faithful old servant of thirty, forty, or fifty years, if mth 
a tendency to be jealous, cross, and interfering, becomes a 
great trouble. Still the relative position was the result of 
good feelings. If the familiarity sometimes became a 
nuisance, it was a wholesome nuisance, and relic of a 
simpler time gone by. But the case of the old servant, 
whether agreeable or troublesome, was often so fixed and 
established in the households of past days, that there was 
scarce a possibility of getting away from it. The well- 
known story of the answer of one of these domestic tyrants 
to the irritated master, who was making an effort to free 
himself from the thraldom, shows the idea entertained, by 
one of the parties at least, of the permanency of the 
tenure. I am assured by a friend that the true edition of 
the story was this : — An old Mr. Erskine of Dun had one 
of these old retainers, under whose language and unrea- 
sonable assumption he had long groaned. He had almost 
determined to bear it no longer, when, walking out with 
his man, on crossing a field, the master exclaimed, " There's 
a hare." Andrew looked at the place, and coolly replied, 
"What a big lee, it's a cauif." The master, quite angry 
now, plainly told the old domestic that they must part. 
But the tried servant of forty years, not dreaming of the 
possibility of his dismissal, innocently asked, " Ay, sir ; 
whare ye gaun ? I'm sure ye 're aye best at hame;" 
supposing that, if there were to be any disruption, it must 
be the master who would change the place. An example 
of a similar fixedness of tenure in an old servant was 
afforded in an anecdote related of an old coachman long in 
the service of a noble lady, and who gave all the trouble 
and annoyance which he conceived were the privileges of 
his position in the family. At last the lady fairly gave 
him notice to quit, and told him he must go. The only 



SCOTTISH LIFE S CEARACTEB.. 71 

Fatisfaction she got was tlie quiet answer, " Na, na, my 
lady ; I druve ye to your marriage, and I shall stay to 
drive ye to your burial." Indeed, we have heard of a still 
stronger assertion of his official position by one who met 
an order to quit his master's service by the cool reply, 
" Na, na ; I'm no gangin'. If ye dinna ken whan yeVe 
a gude servant, I ken whan I've a gude place." 

It is but fair, however, to give an anecdote in which 
the master and the servant's position was reversedy in 
regard to a wish for change : — An old servant of a rela- 
tion of my own with an ungovernable temper, became at 
last so weary of his master's irascibility, that he declared 
he must leave, and gave as his reason the fits of anger 
which came on and produced such great annoyance that he 
could not stand it any longer. His master, unwilling to lose 
him, tried to coax him by reminding him that the anger 
was soon off. " Ay," replied the other very shrewdly, 
" but it's nae suner aff than it's on again." I remember 
well an old servant of the old school, who had been fifty 
years domesticated in a family. Indeed I well remember 
the celebration of the half-century service completed. 
There were rich scenes with Sandy and his mistress. Let 
me recal you both to memory. Let me think of you, the 
kind, generous, warm-hearted mistress ; a gentlewoman 
by descent and by feeling ; a true friend, a sincere Chris- 
tian. And let me think, too, of you, Sandy, an honest, 
faithful, and attached member of the family. For you 
were in that house rather as an humble friend than a 
servant. But out of this fifty years of attached service 
there sprang a sort of domestic relation and freedom of 
intercourse which would surprise people in these days. 
And yet Sandy knew his place. Like Corporal Trim, 
who, although so familiar and admitted to so much fami- 
liarity with my Uncle Toby, never failed in the respectful 
address — never forgot to say " your honour." At a dinner- 
party Sandy was very active about changing his mistress's 
plate, and whipped it off when he saw that she had got a 



72 REMINISCENCES OF 

piece of ricli pattee upon it. His mistress not liking such 
rapid movements, and at the same time knowing that re- 
monstrance was in vain, exclaimed, " Hout, Sandy, I'm 
no dune," and dabbed her fork into the pattee as it dis- 
appeared, to rescue a morsel. I remember her praise of 
English mutton was a great annoyance to the Scottish 
prejudices of Sandy. One day she was telling me of a 
triumph Sandy had upon that subject. The smell of the 
joint roasting had become very offensive through the 
house. The lady called out to Sandy to have the doors 
closed, and adding, " That must be some horrid Scotch 
mutton you have got." To Sandy's delight, this was a leg 
of English mutton his mistress had expressly chosen, and, 
as she significantly told me, " Sandy never let that down 
upon me." 

On Deeside there existed, in my recollection, besides 
the Saunders Paul I have alluded to, a number of extraor- 
dinary acute and humorous Scottish characters amongst the 
lower classes. The native gentry enjoyed their humour, 
and hence arose a familiarity of intercourse which called 
forth many amusing scenes and quaint rejoinders. A 
celebrated character of this description bore the soubriquet 
of " Boaty." He had acted as Charon of the Dee at 
Banchory, and passed the boat over the river before there 
was a bridge. Boaty had many curious sayings recorded 
of him. When speaking of the gentry around, he charac- 
terized them according to their occupations and activity of 
habits — thus : '' As to Mr. Eussell of Blackha', he just 
w^orks himsell like a paid labourer; Mr. Duncan's a' the 
day fish, fish ; but Sir Eobert's a perfect gentleman — he 
does naething, naething." Boaty w^as a first-rate salmon- 
fisher himself, and was much sought after by amateurs 
w^ho came to Banchory for the sake of the sport afforded 
by the beautiful Dee. He was, perhaps, a little spoiled, 
and presumed upon the indulgence and familiarity shown 
to him in the way of his craft — as, for example, he w^as in 
attendance with his boat on a sportsman who was both 



SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER, 73 

skilful and successful, for he caught salmon after salmon. 
Between each fish catching he solaced himseK with a good 
pull from a flask, which he returned to his pocket, how- 
ever, without offering to let Boaty have any participation 
in the refreshment, Boaty, partly a little professionally 
jealous, perhaps, at the success, and partly indignant at 
receiving less than his usual attention on such occasions, 
and seeing no prospect of amendment, deliberately pulled 
the boat to shore, shouldered the oars, rods, landing-nets, 
and all the fishing apparatus which he had provided, and 
set off homewards. His companion, far from considering 
his day's work to be over, and keen for more sport, was 
amazed, and peremptorily ordered him to come back. 
But all the answer made by the offended Boaty was, " Na, 
na ; them 'at drink by themsells may just fish by them- 
seHs." 

The charge these old domestics used to take of the 
interests of the family, and the cool way in which they 
took upon them to protect those interests, sometimes led 
to very provoking, and sometimes to very ludicrous exhi- 
bitions of importance. A friend told me of a dinner scene 
illustrative of this sort of interference which had happened 
at Aii'th in the last generation. Mrs. Murray of Aber- 
cairney had been amongst the guests, and at dinner one of 
the family noticed that she was looking for the proper 
spoon to help herself with salt. The old servant Thomas 
was appealed to, that the want might be supplied. He 
did not notice the appeal. It was repeated in a more 
peremptory manner, " Thomas, Mrs. Murray has not a 
salt-spoon;" to which he replied most emphatically, "Last 
time Mrs. Murray dined here we lost a salt-spoon." An 
old servant who took a similar charge of everything that 
went on in the family, having observed that his master 
thought that he had drunk wine with every lady at table, 
but had overlooked one, jogged his memory with the 
question, " What ails ye at her m' the green gown?" 

In my own family I know a case of a very long ser- 



74 BEMINISCENCES OF 

vice, and where, no doubt, there was much interest and 
attachment ; but it w^as a case where the temper had not 
softened under the influence of years, but had rather 
assumed that form of disposition which we denominate 
crusty. My grand-uncle, Sir A. Ramsay, died in 1806, 
and left a domestic who had been in his service since he 
was ten years of age ; and being at the time of his mas- 
ter's death past fifty or well on to sixty, he must have 
been more than forty years a servant in the family. 
From the retired life my grand-uncle had been leading, 
Jamie Layal had much of his own way, and, like many a 
domestic so situated, he did not like to be contradicted, 
and, in fact, could not bear to be found fault with. My 
uncle, who had succeeded to a part of my grand-uncle's 
property, succeeded also to Jamie Layal, and from respect 
to his late master's memory and Jamie's own services, he 
took him into his house, intending him to act as house 
servant. However, this did not answer, and he was soon 
kept on, more wdth the form than the reality of any active 
duty, and took any light work that was going on about the 
house. In this capacity it was his daily task to feed a 
flock of turkeys which were growdng up to maturity. On 
one occasion, my aunt having followed him in his work, 
and having observed such a waste of food, that the ground 
was actually covered with grain which they could not eat, 
and which would soon be destroyed and lost, naturally 
remonstrated, and suggested a more reasonable and provi- 
dent supply. But all the answer she got from the offended 
Jamie was a bitter rejoinder, " Weel, then, neist time they 
sail get nane ava ! " On another occasion a family from a 
distance had called whilst my uncle and aunt were out of the 
house. Jamie came into the parlour to deliver the cards, 
or to announce that they had called. My aunt, somewhat 
vexed at not having been in the way, inquired what mes- 
sage Mr. and Mrs. Innes had left, as she had expected one. 
" No ; no message." She returned to the charge, and 
asked again if they had not told him anything he was to 



SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER, 75 

repeat. Still, " No ; no message." ^' But did they say 
iiotliing ? Are you sure they said nothing?" Jamie, 
sadly put out and offended at being thus interrogated, at 
last burst forth, "They neither said ba nor bum," and 
indignantly left the room, banging the door after him. A 
characteristic anecdote of one of these old domestics I have 
from a friend who was acquainted with the parties con- 
cerned. The old man was standing at the sideboard and 
attending to the demands of a pretty large dinner party : 
the calls made for various wants from the company became 
so numerous and frequent that the attendant got quite 
bewildered, and lost his patience and temper ; at length 
he gave vent to his indignation in a remonstrance addressed 
to the whole company, " Cry a' thegither, that's the way 
to be served." 

I have two characteristic and dry Scottish answers, 
traditional in the Lothian family, supplied to me by the 
present excellent and highly-gifted young Marquis. A 
Marquis of Lothian of a former generation observed in his 
walk two workmen very busy with a ladder to reach a 
bell, on which they next kept up a furious ringing. He 
asked what was the object of making such a din ; to which 
the answer was, " Oh, juist, my lord, to ca' the workmen 
together." " Why, how many are there ?" asked his lord- 
sldp. " Ou, juist Sandy and me," was the quiet rejoinder. 
The same Lord Lothian, looking about the garden, directed 
his gardener's attention to a particular plum-tree, charging 
him to be careful of the produce of that tree, and send the 
whole of it in marked, as it was of a very particular kind. 
" Ou," said the gardener, " I'll do that, my lord ; there's 
juist twa o' them." 

These dry answers of Newbattle servants remind us of 
a similar state of communication in a Tester domestic. 
Lord Tweeddale was very fond of dogs, and on leaving 
Tester for London he instructed his head keeper, a quaint 
bodie, to give him a periodical report of the kennel, and 
particulars of his favourite dogs. Among the latter was 



76 REMINISCENCES OF 

an especial one, of the true Skye breed, called " Pickle/' 
from which sobriquet we may form a tolerable estimate 
of his qualities. 

It happened one day, in or about the year 1827, that 
poor Pickle during the absence of his master was taken 
unwell ; and the watchful guardian immediately warned the 
marquis of the sad fact, an^ of the progress of the disease, 
which lasted three days — for which he sent the three fol- 
lowing laconic despatches : — 

Tester, May 1st, 18 — . 



My Lord, 



My Lord, 



My Lord, 



Pickle's no weel 

Your Lordship's humble servant, etc. 

Tester, 2d May 18 — » 

Pickle will no do ! 

I am your Lordship's, etc. 

Tester, ^d May 18—. 

Pickle's dead ! 

I am yoar Lordship's, etc. 



I have heard of an old Forfarshire lady who, knowing 
the habits of her old and spoilt servant, when she wished 
a note to be taken without loss of time, held it open and 
read it over to him, saying, " There, noo, Andrew, ye ken 
a' that's in't ; noo dinna stop to open it, but just send it 
alF." Of another servant, when sorely tried by an un- 
accustomed bustle and hurry, a very amusing anecdote 
has been recorded. His mistress, a woman of high rank, 
who had been living in much quiet and retirement for 
some time, was called upon to entertain a large party at 
dinner. She consulted with Nichol, her faithful servant, 
and all the arrangements were made for the great event. 
As the company were arriving, the lady saw Nichol running 
about in great agitation, and in his shirt sleeves. She re- 
monstrated, and said that as the guests were coming in he 



SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 77 

must put on Ms coat. " Indeed, my lady," was his excited 
reply, " indeed, there's sae muckle rinnin' here and rinnin' 
there, that I'm just distrackit. I hae cuist'n my coat and 
waistcoat, and faith I dinna ken how lang I can thole "^ my 
breeks." There is often a ready wit in this class of charac- 
ter, marked by their replies. I have the following com- 
municated from an ear-witness : " Weel, Peggy," said a 
man to an old family servant, " I wonder ye're aye single 
yet !" "Me marry," said she indignantly ; "I wadna gie 
my single life for a' the double anes I ever saw." 

An old woman was exhorting a servant once about her 
ways. " You serve the deevil," said she. " Me ! " said 
the girl ; " Na, na, I dinna serve the deevil ; I serve ae 
single lady." 

A baby was out with the nurse, who walked it up and 
down the garden. "Is't a laddie or a lassie ?" said the 
gardener. " A laddie," said the maid. " Weel," says he, 
" I'm glad o' that, for there's ower money women in the 
world." " Hech, man," said Jess, " div ye no ken there's 
aye maist sawni o' the best crap ?" 

The answers of servants used curiously to illustrate 
habits and manners of the time,^as the economical modes 
of her mistress' life were well touched by the lass who 
thus described her ways and domestic habits with her 
household : " She's vicious upo' the wark ; but eh, she's 
vary mysterious o' the victualling." 

A country habit of making the gathering of the con- 
gregation in the churchyard previous to and after divine 
service an occasion for gossip and business, which I re- 
member well, is thoroughly described in the following : — 
A lady, on hiring a servant-girl in the country, told her, 
as a great indulgence, that she should have the liberty of 
attending the church every Sunday, but that she would be 
expected to return home always immediately on the 
conclusion of service. The lady, however, rather unex- 



Bear. 



78 REMINISCENCES OF 

pectedly found a positive objection raised against tliis 
apparently reasonable arrangement. "Then I canna en- 
gadge wr ye, mem ; for 'deed I wadna gie tbe crack i' tlie 
kirkyard for a' the sermon." 

There is another story which shows that a greater im- 
portance might be attached to the crack i' the kirkyard 
than was done even by the servant lass mentioned above. 
A rather rough subject, residing in Galloway, used to 
attend church regularly, as it appeared, for the sake of the 
crack. For on being taken to task for his absenting himself 
he remarked, " There's nae need to gang to the kirk noo, 
for everybody gets a newspaper." 

The changes that many of us have lived to witness in 
this kmd of intercourse between families and old servants 
is a part of a still greater change — the change in that 
modification of the feudal system, the attachment of clans. 
This, also, from transfers of property and extinction of old 
families in the Highlands, as well as from more general 
causes, is passing away ; and it includes also changes in 
the intercourse between landed proprietors and cottagers, 
and abolition of harvest-homes, and such meetings. People 
are now more independent of each other, and service has 
become a pecuniary and not a sentimental question. The 
extreme contrast of that old-fasliioned Scottish intercourse 
of families with their servants and dependants, of which I 
have given some amusing examples, is found in the modern 
manufactory system. There the service is a mere question 
of personal interest. One of our first practical engineers, 
and one of the first engine-makers in England, stated that 
he employed and paid handsomely on an average 1200 
workmen ; but that they held so little feeling for him as 
their master, that not above half a dozen of the number 
would notice hioi when passing him, either in the works 
or out of work hours. Contrast this advanced state of 
dependants' indifference with the familiarity of domestic 
intercourse we have been describing ! 

It has been suggested by my esteemed friend, Dr. W 



SCOTTISH LIFE d: CHARACTER. 79 

Lindsay Alexander, that Scottish anecdotes deal too ex- 
clusively with the shrewdy quaint, and pawky humour of 
our countrymen, and have not sufficiently illustrated the 
deep pathos and strong loving-kindness of the "kindly 
Scot," — qualities which, however little appreciated across 
the Border, abound in Scottish poetry and Scottish life. 
For example, to take the case before us of these old re- 
tainers, although snappy and disagreeable to the last degree 
in their replies, and often most provoking in their ways, 
they were yet deeply and sincerely attached to the family 
where they had so long been domesticated ; and the ser- 
vant who would reply to her mistress* order to mend the 
fire by the short answer " The fire's weel eneuch," would 
at the same time evince much interest in all that might 
assist her in sustaining the credit of her domestic economy ; 
as, for example, whispering in her ear at dinner, " Press 
the jeelies ; they winna keep ; " and had the hour of real 
trial and of difficulty come to the family, would have gone 
to the death for them, and shared their greatest privations. 
Dr. Alexander gives a very interesting example of kind- 
ness and affectionate attachment in an old Scottish domes- 
tic of his own family, whose quaint and odd familiarity 
was charming. I give it in his own words : — " When I 
was a child, there was an old servant at Pinkieburn, where 
my early days were spent, who had been all her life, I 
may say, in the house — for she came to it a child, and 
lived, without ever leaving it, till she died in it, seventy- 
five years of age. Her feeling to her old master, who was 
just two years younger than herself, was a curious com- 
pound of the deference of a servant and the familiarity 
and affection of a sister. She had known him as a boy, 
lad, man, and old man, and she seemed to have a sort of 
notion, that without her he must be a very helpless being 
indeed. ^ I aye keepit the house for him, whether he was 
hame or awa', was a frequent utterance of hers ; and she 
never seemed to think the intrusion even of his own nieces, 
who latterly lived with him, at all legitimate. When on 



80 REMINISCENCES OF 

her deatlibed, he hobbled to her room "v\dth difficulty, 
having just got over a severe attack of gout, to bid hei 
farewell. I chanced to be present, but was too young to 
remember what passed, except one thing, which probably 
was rather recalled to me afterwards than properly recol- 
lected by me. It was her last request. ' Laird,' said she 
(for so she always called him, though his lairdship was of 
the smallest), ^ will ye tell them to bury me whaur I'll lie 
across at your feet.' I have always thought this charac- 
teristic of the old Scotch servant, and as such I send it to 
you." 

And here I would introduce another story which struck 
me very forcibly as illustrating the union of the qualities 
referred to by Dr. Alexander. In the following narrative, 
how deep and tender a feeling is expressed in a brief dry 
sentence ! I give Mr. Scott's language :* — " My brother 
and I were, during our High School vacation, some forty 
years ago, very much indebted to the kindness of a clever 
young carpenter employed in the machinery workshop of 
New Lanark Mills, near to which we were residing during 
our six weeks' holidays. It was he — Samuel Shaw, oui 
dear companion — who first taught us to saw, and to plane, 
and to turn too ; and who made us the bows and arrows 
in which we so much delighted. The vacation over, and 
our hearts very sore, but bound to Samuel Shaw for ever, 
our mother sought to place some pecuniary recompense in 
his hand at parting, for all the great kindness he had shown 
her boys. Samuel looked in her face, and gently moving 
her hand aside, with an affectionate look cast upon us, 
who were by, exclaimed, in a tone which had sorrow in it, 
" Noo, Mrs. Scott, ye hcCe spoilt a'." After such an appeal, 
it may be supposed no recompense, in silver or in gold, 
remained with Samuel Shaw. 

On the subject of the old Scottish domestic, I have to 
acknowledge a kind communication from Lord Kinloch, 

* Kev. R. Scott of CranwelL 



SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 81 

wliicli I give in his Lordship's words : — " My father had 
been in the counting-house of the well-known David Dale, 
the founder of the Lanark Mills, and eminent for his 
benevolence. Mr. Dale, who it would appear was a short 
stout man, had a person in his employment named Matthew, 
who was permitted that familiarity with his master which 
was so characteristic of the former generation. One winter 
day Mr. Dale came into the counting-house, and com- 
plained that he had fallen on the ice. Matthew, who saw 
that his master was not much hurt, grinned a sarcastic 
smile. * I fell all my length,' said Mr. Dale. ^ Nae great 
length, sir,' said Matthew. ' Lideed, Matthew, ye need 
not laugh,' said I^Ir. Dale ; ' I have hurt the sma' of my 
back.' ' I wunner whaur that is,' said Matthew." Indeed, 
specimens like Matthew of serving- men of the former time 
have latterly been fast going out, but I remember one or 
two specimens. A lady of my acquaintance had one named 
John in her house at Portobello. I remember how my 
modem ideas were offended by John's familiarity when 
waiting at table. " Some more wine, John," said his mis- 
tress. ^*' There 's some i' the bottle, mem," said John. A 
little after, " Mend the fire, John." " The fire's weel 
aneuch, mem," replied the impracticable John. Another 
"John" of my acquaintance was in the family of Mrs. 
Campbell of Ardnave, mother of the Princess Polignac and 
the Honourable Mrs. Archibald Macdonald. A young lady 
visiting in the family asked John at dinner for a potato. 
John made no response. The request was repeated ; when 
John, putting his mouth to her ear, said, very audibly, 
" There 's jist twa in the dish, and they maun be keepit 
for the strangers." 

The following was sent me by a kind correspondent — 
a learned Professor in Lidia — as a sample of squabbling 
between Scottish servants. A mistress observing some- 
thing peculiar in her maid's manner, addressed her, " Dear 
me, Tibbie, what are you so snappish about, that you go 
knocking the things as you dust them ?" " Ou, mem, it's 

G 



82 REMINISCENCES OF 

Jock;' " Well, wliat has Jock been doing V " Ou (with 
an indescribable, but easily imaginable toss of the bead), 
he was angry at me, an* misca'd me, an' I said I was juist 

as the Lord had made me, an' ." "Well, Tibbie ?" 

" An' he said the Lord could hae had little to do whan he 
made me." The idea of Tibbie being the work of an idle 
moment was one, the deliciousness of which was not likely 
to be relished by Tibbie. 

The following characteristic anecdote of a Highland 
servant I have received from the same correspondent. An 
English gentleman, travelling in the Highlands, was 
rather late of coming down to dinner. Donald was sent 
up stairs to intimate that all. was ready. He speedily 
returned, nodding significantly, as much as to say that it 
was all right. " But, Donald," said the master, after some 
further trial of a hungry man's patience, " are ye sure ye 
made the gentleman understand?" ^' Understand f^ re- 
torted Donald (who had peeped into the room and found 
the guest engaged at his toilet), "I'se warrant ye he 
understands ; he's sharping his teeth," — not supposing the 
tooth-brush could be for any other use. 

There have been some very amusing instances given 
of the matter-of-fact obedience paid to orders by Highland 
retainers when made to perform the ordinary duties of 
domestic servants ; as when Mr. Campbell, a Highland 
gentleman, visiting in a country house, and telling Donald 
to bring everything out of the bedroom, found all its 
movable articles — fender, fire-irons, etc. — piled up in the 
lobby ; so literal was the poor man's sense of obedience to 
orders ! And of this he gave a still more extraordinary 
proof during his sojourn in Edinburgh, by a very ludicrous 
exploit. When the family moved into a house there, Mrs. 
Campbell gave him very particular instructions regarding 
visitors, explaining that they were to be shown into tho 
drawing-room, and no doubt used the Scotticism, " Carry 
any ladies that call up stairs." On the arrival of the first 
visitorsj Donald was eager to show his strict attention to 



SOOTTISH LIFE d: CHARACTER. 83 

the mistress' orders. Two ladies came together, and 
Donald, seizing one in his arms, said to the other, " Bide 
ye there till I come for ye," and, in spite of her struggles 
and remonstrances, ushered the terrified visitor into Mrs. 
Campbell's presence in this unwonted fashion. 

Another case of literal obedience to orders produced a 
somewhat startling form of message. A servant of an old 
maiden lady, a patient of Dr. Poole, formerly of Edinburgh, 
was under orders to go to the doctor every morning to 
report the state of her health, how she had slept, etc., with 
strict injunctions always to add, " with her compliments." 
At length, one morning the girl brought this extraordinary 

message : — " Miss S 's compliments, and she de'ed last 

night at aicht o'clock !" 

I recollect, in Montrose (that fruitful field for old 
Scottish stories !), a most naive reply from an honest lass, 
servant to old Mrs. Captain Fullerton. A party of gentle- 
men had dined with JVIrs. Fullerton, and they had a turkey 
for dinner. Mrs. F. proposed that one of the legs should 
be deviled, and the gentlemen have it served up as a relish 
for their wine. Accordingly one of the company skilled 
in the mystery prepared it with pepper, cayenne, mustard, 
ketchup, etc. He gave it to Lizzy, and told her to take 
it down to the kitchen, supposing, as a matter of course, 
she would know that it was to be broiled, and brought 
back in due time. But in a little while, when it was rung 
for, Lizzy very innocently replied that she had ate it up. 
As it was sent back to the kitchen, her only idea was that 
it must be for herself. But on surprise being expressed 
that she had eaten what was so highly peppered and 
seasoned, she very quaintly answered, " Ou, I liket it a 
the better." 

A well-known servant of the old school was John, 
the servant of Pitfour, Mr. Ferguson, M.P., himself a most 
eccentric character, long father of the House of Commons, 
and a great friend of Pitt. John used to entertain the 
tenants on Pitfour's brief visits to his estate with numer- 



84 REMINISCENCES OF 

ous anecdotes of Ms master and Mr. Pitt ; but he always 
prefaced them with something in the style of Cardinal 
Wolsey's Ego et rex mens, with. " Me, and Pitt, and Pitfour/* 
went somewhere, or performed some exploit. The famous 
Duchess of Gordon once wrote a note to John (the name 
of this eccentric valet), and said, " John, put Pitfour into 
the carriage on Tuesday, and bring him up to Gordon 
Castle to dinner." After sufficiently scratching his head, 
and considering what he should do, he showed the letter 
to Pitfour, who smiled, and said dryly, '' Well, John, I 
suppose we must go." 

An old domestic of this class gave a capital reason to 
his young master for his being allowed to do as he liked : 
— " Ye needna find faut wi' me, Maister Jeems, / hoe heen 
langer about the place than yer^eVT 



SCOTTISH LIFE d CHAEACTEH 85 



CHAPTER THE FIFTH. 



INCLUDING SCOTTISH PROVERBS. 

We come next to reminiscences chiefly connected with 
peculiarities which turned upon our Scottish Language, 
whether contained in words or in expressions. I am quite 
aware that the difference between the anecdotes belonging 
to this division and to the division termed " Wit and 
Humour " is very indistinct, and must, in fact, in many 
cases, be quite arbitrary. Much of what we enjoy most 
in Scottish stories is not on account of wit or humour, 
properly so called, in the speaker, but, I should say rather 
from the odd and unexpected view which is taken of some 
matter, or from the quaint and original turn of the expres- 
sion made use of, or from the simple and matter-of-fact 
reference made to circimistances which are unusual. I 
shall not, therefore, be careful to preserve any strict line 
of separation between this division and the next. Each is 
conversant with what is amusing and with what is Scotch. 
What we have now chiefly to illustrate by suitable anec- 
dotes is peculiarities of Scottish language — its various 
humorous turns and odd expressions. 

We have now to consider stories where words and 
expressions which are peculiarly Scotch impart the humour 
and the point. Sometimes they are altogether untranslat- 
able into another language. As for example, a parishioner 
in an Ayrshire village, meeting his pastor, who had just 
returned after a considerable absence on account of ill 
health, congratulated him on his convalescence, and added 



86 REMINISCENCES OF 

anticipatory of tlie pleasure lie would have in hearing hira 
again, " I'm unco yuckie to hear a blaud o' your gab." 
This is an untranslatable form of saying how glad he 
should be to hear his minister's voice again speaking to 
him the words of salvation and of peace from the pulpit. 

The two following are good examples of that Scottish 
style of expression which has its own character. They are 
kindly sent by Sir Archibald Dunbar. The first illustrates 
Scottish acute discernment. A certain titled lady well 
kno\vn around her country town for her long-continued 
and extensive charities, which are not withheld from those 
who least deserve them, had a few years since, by the 
unexpected death of her brother and of his only son, 
become possessor of a fine estate. The news soon spread 
in the neighbourhood, and a group of old women were 
overheard in the street of Elgin discussing the fact. One 
of them said, " Ay, she may prosper, for she has baith the 
prayers of the good and of the bad." 

The second anecdote is a delightful illustration of Mrs. 
Hamilton's " Cottagers of Glenbui-nie," and of the old- 
fashioned Scottish pride in the midden. About twenty 
years ago, under the apprehension of cholera, committees 
of the most influential inhabitants of the county of Moray 
were formed to enforce a more complete cleansing of its 
towns and villages, and to induce the cottagers to remove 
their dunghills or dung-pits from too close a proximity to 
their doors or windows. One determined woman, on the 
outskirts of the town of Forres, no doubt with her future 
potato crop in view, met the M.P., who headed one of these 
committees, thus, " Noo, Major, you may tak our lives, but 
ye'U no tak our middens." 

The change of language which has taken place in Scot- 
land during the last sevent}^ years has been a very impor- 
tant change, and must affect in a greater degree than many 
persons would imagine, the turn of thought and general 
modes and aspects of society. In losing the old racy 
Scottish tongue no doubt much originality of character 



SCOTTISH LIFE Jb CHARACTER. «7 

was lost. I suppose at one time tlie two countries of 
England and Scotland were considered as almost speaking 
different languages, and I suppose also, tliat from tlie period 
of the union of the crowns the language has been assimi- 
lating. We see the process of assimilation going on, and 
ere long amongst persons of education and birth very little 
difference will be perceptible. With regard to that class a 
great change has taken place in my time. I recollect old 
Scottish ladies and gentlemen who really spoke Scotch, It 
was not, mark me, speaking English with an accent. No ; 
it was downright Scotch. Every tone and every syllable 
was Scotch. For example, I recollect old Miss Erskine of 
Dun, a fine specimen of a real lady, and daughter of an 
ancient Scottish house, so speaking. Many people now 
would not understand her. She was always the lady, 
notwithstanding her dialect, and to none could the epithet 
vulgar be less appropriately applied. I speak of nearly 
forty years ago, and yet I recollect her accost to me as 
well as if it were yesterday : " I didna ken ye were i* the 
toun." Taking words and accents together, an address 
how totally unlike what we now meet with in society. 
Some of the old Scottish words which we can remember 
are delicious ; but how strange they would sound to the 
ears of the present generation ! Fancy that in walking 
from church, and discussing the sermon, a lady of rank 
should now express her opinion of it by the description of 
its being, " but a hummelcorn discourse." Many living 
persons can remember Angus old ladies who would say to 
their nieces and daughters, " Whatna hummeldoddie o* a 
mutch hae ye gotten ?" meaning a flat and low-crowned 
cap. In speaking of the dryness of the soil on a road in 
Lanarkshire, a farmer said, " It stoors* in an oor."t How 
would this be as tersely translated into English ? The 
late Duchess of Gordon sat at dinner next an Euglish 

* Stoor is, Scottice, dust in motion^ and there is really no 
synonym for it in English. t Hour. 



88 BEMINISCENCES OF 

gentleman who was carving, and wlio made it a boast 
that he was thoroughly master of the Scottish language. 
Her Grace turned to him and said, " Eax me a spaul o' 
that bubbly jock."* The unfortunate man was com- 
pletely nonplussed, A Scottish gentleman was entertain- 
ing at his house an English cousin who professed himself 
as rather knowing in the language of the north side of the 
Tweed. He asked him what he supposed to be the mean- 
ing of the expression, " ripin' the ribs." t To which he 
readily answered, *^ Oh, it describes a very fat man." I 
profess myself an out and out Scotchman. I have strong 
national partialities — call them if you will national pre- 
judices. I cherish a great love of old Scottish language. 
Some of our pure Scottish ballad poetry is unsurpassed in 
any language for grace and pathos. How expressive, how 
beautiful are its phrases ! You can't translate them. 
Take an example of power in a Scottish expression, to 
describe with tenderness and feeling what is in human 
life. Take one of our most familiar phrases ; as thus, — 
We meet an old friend, we talk over bygone days, and 
remember many who were dear to us both, once bright 
and young and gay, of whom some remain, honoured, 
prosperous, and happy—of whom some are under a cloud 
of misfortune or disgrace — some are broken in health and 
spirits — some sunk into the grave ; we recal old familiar 
places — old companions, pleasures, and pursuits ; as Scotch- 
men our hearts are touched with these remembrances of 

AuLD Lang Syne. 
Match me the phrase in English. You can't translate it. 
The fitness and the beauty lie in the felicity of the 
language. Like many happy expressions, it is not trans- 
ferable into another tongue, just like the " simplex 
munditiis" of Horace, which describes the natural grace of 
female elegance, or the dv7}Pidj(jLov ysXa(f/Ma of JSschyluSj 

* Reach me a leg of that turkey. 
t Clearing asnes out of the bars of the grate. 



SCOTTISH LIFE db CHARACTER. 89 

which describes the bright sparkling of the ocean in the 
sun. 

I think the power of Scottish dialect was happily 
exemplified by the late Dr. Adam, rector of the High 
School of Edinburgh, in his translation of the Horatian 
expression, "desipere in loco," which he turned by the 
Scotch phrase " Weel-timed daffin' ;" a translation, however, 
which no one but a Scotchman could appreciate. The 
following humorous Scottish translation of an old Latin 
aphorism lias been assigned to the late Dr. Hill of St. 
Andrews : — " Qui bene cepit dimidium facH fecit ^^ the witty 
Principal expressed in Scotch, " Weel saipet (well soaped) 
is half shaven." 

What mere English word could have expressed a dis- 
tinction so well in such a case as the following ? I heard 
once a lady in Edinburgh objecting to a preacher that she 
did not understand him. Another lady, his great admirer, 
insinuated that probably he was too "deep" for her to 
follow. But her ready answer was, "Na, na, he's no just 
deep, but he's drumlyV'*' 

We have just received a testimony to the value of our 
Scottish language from the illustrious Chancellor of the 
University of Edinburgh, the force and authority of which 
no one will be disposed to question. Lord Brougham, in 
speaking of improvements upon the English language, 
makes these striking remarks : — 

" The pure and classical language of Scotland must on 
no account be regarded as a provincial dialect, any more 
than French was so regarded in the reign of Henry Y., or 
Italian in that of the first Napoleon, or Greek under the 
Eoman Empire. Nor is it to be in any manner of way 
considered as a corruption of the Saxon ; on the contrary, 
it contains much of the old and genuine Saxon, with an 
intermixture from the Northern nations, as Danes and 
Norse, and some, though a small portion, from the Celtic. 



* Mentally confused. Muddy when applied to water. 



90 REMINISCENCES OF 

But in whatever way composed, or from whatever sources 
arising, it is a national language, used by the whole people 
in their early years, by many learned and gifted persons 
throughout life, and in which are written the laws of the 
Scotch, their judicial proceedings, their ancient history ; 
above all, their poetry. 

" There can be no doubt that the English language 
would greatly gain by being enriched with a number both 
of words and of phrases, or turns of expression, now 
peculiar to the Scotch. It was by such a process that the 
Greek became the first of tongues, as w^ell written as 
spoken. . . . 

" Would it not afford means of enricliing and improv- 
ing the English language, if full and accurate glossaries of 
improved Scotch words and phrases — those successfully 
used by the best writers, both in prose and verse — were 
given, with distinct explanation and reference to authori- 
ties ? This has been done in France and other countries, 
where some dictionaries accompany the English, in some 
cases with Scotch synonyms, in others with varieties of 
expression." — Installation Address, p. 63. 

The Scotch as a people, from their more guarded and 
composed method of speaking, are not so liable to fall into 
that figure of speech for which our Irish neighbours are 
celebrated — usually called the Bull ; some specimens, how- 
ever, of that confusion of thought, very like a bull, have 
been recorded of Scottish interlocutors. 

Of this the two following examples have been sent to 
me by a kind friend. 

It is related of a Scottish judge (who has suppUed 
several anecdotes of Scottish stories), that on going to 
consult a dentist, who, as is usual, placed him in the pro- 
fessional chair, and told his lordship that he must let him 
put his fingers into his mouth, he exclaimed, " Na ! na ! 
ye '11 aiblins hite mer 

A Scottish laird, singularly enough the grandson of 
the learned judge mentioned above, vhen going his round 



SCOTTISH LIFE cfc CHARACTER. 91 

to canvass for the county, at the time when the electors 
were chiefly confined to resident proprietors, was asked at 
one house where he called if he would not take some 
refreshment, hesitated, and said, " I doubt it 's treating, 
and may be ca'd hriheryr 

But a still more amusing specimen of this figure of 
speech was supplied by an honest Highlander, in the days 
of sedan chairs. For the benefit of my young readers I 
may describe the sedan chair as a comfortable little 
carriage fixed to two poles, and carried by two men, one 
behind and one before. A dowager lady of quality had 
gone out to dinner in one of these " leathern conveniences," 
and whilst she herself enjoyed the hospitality of the 
mansion upstairs, her bearers were profusely entertained 
downstairs, and partook of the abundant refreshment 
oftered to them. When my lady was to return, and had 
taken her place in the sedan, her bearers raised the chair, 
but she found no progress was made — she felt herself 
sway first to one side, then to the other, and soon came 
bump upon the ground, when Donald behind was heard 
shouting to Donald before (for the bearers of sedans were 
always Highlanders), " Let her down, Donald man, fof 
she^s drunk r 

I cannot help thinking that a change of national lan- 
guage involves to some extent change of national character. 
Numerous examples of great power in Scottish phraseology, 
to express the picturesque, the feeling, the wise, and the 
humorous, might be taken from the works of Robert Burns, 
Ferguson, or Allan Ramsay, and which lose their charm 
altogether when wiscottijied. The speaker certainly seems 
to take a strength and character from his words. We must 
now look for specimens of this racy and expressive tongue 
iji the more retired parts of the country. It is no longer 
to be found in high places. It has disappeared from the 
social circles of our cities. In my early days the inter- 
course with the peasantry of Forfarshire, Kincardineshire, 
and especially Deeside, was most amusing — ^not that the 



92 EEMimSCENCES OF 

tilings said were so much out of the common, as that the 
language in which they were conveyed was picturesque, 
and odd, and taking. And certainly it does appear to me 
that as the language grows more uniform and conventional, 
less marked and peculiar in its dialect and expressions, so 
does the character of those who speak it become so. I 
have a rich sample of Mid-Lothian Scotch from a young 
friend in the country, who describes the conversation of an 
old woman on the property as amusing her by such speci- 
mens of genuine Scottish raciness and humour. On one 
occasion, for instance, the young lady had told her humble 
friend that she was going to Ireland, and would have to 
undergo a sea voyage. " Weel, noo, ye dinna mean that ! 
Ance I thocht to gang across to tither side o' the Queens- 
ferry wi' some ither folks to a fair, ye ken ; but juist 
when e'er I pat my fit in the boat, the boat gie wallop, and 
my heart gie a loup, and I thocht I'd gang oot o' my judg- 
ment athegither, so says I, Na, na, ye gang awa by yoursells 
to tither side, and I'll bide here till sic times as ye come 
awa back." When we hear our Scottish language at home, 
and spoken by our own countrymen, we are not so much 
struck with any remarkable effects ; but it takes a fai 
more impressive character when heard amongst those 
who speak a different tongue, and when encountered in 
other lands. I recollect the late Sir Robert Liston express- 
ing this feeling in his own case. When our ambassadoi 
at Constantinople, some Scotchmen had been recommended 
to him for some purpose of private or of government busi- 
ness ; and Sir Eobert was always ready to do a kind thing 
for a countryman. He found them out in a barber's shop 
waiting for being shaved ia turn. One came in rather late, 
and seeing he had scarcely room at the end of the seat, 
addressed his countryman, " Neebour, wad ye sit a bit 
wast ?" What strong associations must have been called 
up, by hearing in a distant land such an expression in 
Scottish tones. 

We may observe here, that marking the course any 



SCOTTISH LIFE cfc CHARACTER. 93 

person is to take, or the direction in which any object is 
to be met with, by the points of the compass, was a pre- 
vailing practice amongst the older Scottish race. There 
could hardly be a more ludicrous application of the test, 
than was furnished by an honest Highlander in describing 
the direction which his medicine would 7iot take. Jean 
Gumming, of Altyre, who, in common with her three 
sisters, was a true soeur de charite, was one day taking her 
rounds as usual, visiting the poor sick, among whom there 
was a certain Donald MacQueen, who had been some time 
confined to his bed. Miss Gumming, after asking him 
how he felt, and finding that he was " no better," of course 
inquired if he had taken the medicine which she had sent 
him ; ^^ Troth no, me lady," he replied. " But why not, 
Donald ? " she answered, " it was very wrong ; how can you 
expect to get better if you do not help yourself with the 
remedies which Heaven provides for you ?" " Fright or 
Frang," said Donald, " it wadna gang wast in spite o' 
me." In all the north country, it is always said, " I'm 
ganging east or west," etc., and it happened that Donald 
on his sick bed was lying east and west, his feet point- 
ing to the latter direction, hence his reply to indicate that 
he could not swallow the medicine ! 

We may fancy the amusement of the officers of a regi- 
ment in the West Indies at the innocent remark of a young 
lad who had just joined from Scotland. On meeting at 
dinner, his salutation to his Golonel was, " Anither het 
day, Gomal," as if "het days" were in Barbadoes few and 
far between, as they were in his dear old stormy cloudy 
Scotland. Or take the case of a Scottish saying, which 
indicated at once the dialect and the economical habits of 
a hardy and struggling race. A young Scotchman, who 
had been some time in London, met his friend recently 
come up from the north to puisne his fortune in the 
great metropolis. On discussing matters connected with 
their new life in London, the more experienced visitor re- 
marked upon the greater expenses there than in the retired 



94 REMINISCENCES OF 

Scottish, town wMcli they had left. " Ay," said the other, 
sighing over the reflection, " when ye get cheenge for a 
saxpence here, it's soon slippit awa\" I recollect a story of 
my father's which illustrates the force of dialect, although 
confined to the inflections of a single monosyllable. On 
riding home one evening, he passed a cottage or small 
farm-house, where there was a considerable assemblage of 
people, and an evident incipient merry-making for some 
festive occasion. On asking one of the lasses standing 
about what it was, she answered, '^ Ou, it's just a wedding 
o' Jock Thamson and Janet Frazer." To the question, 
"Is the bride rich?" there was a plain quiet "Na." Is 
she young ? " a more emphatic and decided " Naa ! " but 
to the query, " Is she bonny ?" a most elaborate and pro- 
longed shout of "Naaa !" 

It has been said that the Scottish dialect is peculiarly 
powerful in its use of vowels, and the following dialogue 
between a shopman and a customer has been given as a 
specimen. The conversation relates to a plaid hangiug at 
the shop door — 

Cus, (inquiring the material), Oo ? (wool T) 

Shop, Ay, 00 (yes, of wool). 

Cus. A' 00 ? (all wool ?) 

Shop, Ay, a' oo (yes, all wool). 

Cus, A' ae oo ? (all same wool f) 

Shop. Ay, a' ae oo (yes, all same wool). 

An amusing anecdote of a pithy and jocular reply, 
comprised in one syllable, is recorded of an eccentric legal 
Scottish functionary of the last century. An advocate, of 
whose professional qualifications he had formed rather a 
low estimate, was complaining to him of being passed over 
in a recent appointment to the bench, and expressed his 
sense of the injustice with which he had been treated. 
He was very indignant at his claims and merit being over- 
looked in their not choosing him for the new judge, adding 
with much acrimony, " And I can tell you they might 



SCOTTISH LIFE dc CHARACTER. 95 

have got a * waur/ " * To whicli, as if merely coming over 
the complainant's language again, the answer was a grave 
" Whaur ?" t The merit of the impertinence was, that it 
sounded as if it were merely a repetition of his friend's 
last words, wanr and whanr. It w^as as if " echo answered 
whaur ? " As I have said, the oddity and acuteness of the 
speaker arose from the manner of expression, not from the 
thing said. In fact, the same thing said in plain English 
would be mere commonplace. I recollect being much 
amused mth a dialogue between my brother and his man, 
the chief manager of a farm which he had just taken, and, 
I suspect, in a good measure, manager of the farmer as 
well. At any rate he committed to this acute overseer all 
the practical details ; and on the present occasion had sent 
him to market to dispose of a cow and a pony, a simple 
enough transaction, and with a simple enough result. The 
cow was brought back, the pony was sold. But the man's 
description of it forms the point. " Well, John, have you 
sold the cow ? '* ^' Na, but I grippit a chiel for the 
powny 1 " " Grippit " was here most expressive ! Indeed, 
this word has a significance hardly expressed by any 
English one, and used to be very prevalent to indicate 
keen and forcible tenacity of possession ; thus a character 
noted for avarice or sharp looking to self-interest was 
termed " grippy." In mechanical contrivances, anything 
taking a close adherence was called having a gude grip. 
I recollect in boyish days when on Deeside taking wasp- 
nests, an old man looking on was sharply stung by one, 
and his description was, " Ane o' them's grippit me fine." 
The following had an indescribable piquancy, which arose 
from the Scotticism of the terms and the manners. Many 
years ago, when accompanying a shooting party on the 
Grampians, not with a gun like the rest, but with a 
botanical box for collecting specimens of mountain plants, 
the party had got very hot, and very tired, and very cross, 

* Worse. t Where. 



96 REMINISCENCES OF 

On the way home, whilst sitting down to rest, a game- 
keeper sort of attendant, and a character in his way, said, 
'' I wish I was in the dining-room of Fasque." An old 
laird very testily replied, " Ye'd soon be kickit out o' 
that ; " to which the other replied, not at all daunted, 
" Weel, weel, then I wadna be far frae the kitchen." A 
quaint and characteristic reply, I recollect from another 
farm-servant. My eldest brother had just been construct- 
ing a piece of machinery, which was driven by a stream of 
water running through the home farm-yard. There was 
a thrashing machine, a winnowing machine, and circular 
saw for splitting trees into paling, and other contrivances 
of a like kind. Observing an old man, who had long 
been about the place, looking very attentively at all that 
was going on, he said, " Wonderful things people can do 
now, Eobby ?" "Ay," said Robby ; "indeed, Sir Alex- 
ander, I'm thinking if Solomon was alive noo he'd be 
thocht naething o' ! " 

The two following derive their force entirely from the 
Scottish turn of the expressions. Translated into English, 
they would lose all point — at least, much of the point 
which they now have : — 

At the sale of an antiquarian gentleman's effects in 
Roxburghshire, which Sir Walter Scott happened to attend, 
there was one little article, a Roman patina, which occa- 
sioned a good deal of competition, and was eventually 
knocked down to the; distinguished baronet at a high price. 

Sir Walter was excessively amused during the time of 
bidding, to observe how much it excited the astonishment 
of an old woman, who had evidently come there to buy 
culinary utensils on a more economical principle. " K the 
parritch-pan," she at last burst out — " K the parritch-pan 
gans at that, what will the kail-pat gang for ?" 

An ancestor of Sir Walter Scott joined the Pretender, 
and, with his brother, was engaged in that unfortunate 
adventure which ended in a skirmish and captivity at 
Preston, 1715. It was the fashion of those times for all 



SCOTTISH LIFE (& CEARACTEH. 97 

persons of tlie rank of gentlemen to wear scarlet waistcoats^ 
A ball liad struck one of the brothers, and carried part of 
this dress into his body, and in this condition he was taken 
prisoner with a number of his companions, and stript, as 
was too often the practice in those remorseless wars. Thus 
wounded, and nearly naked, having only a shirt on, and an 
old sack about them, the ancestor of the great poet was 
sitting, along with his brother and a hundred and fifty 
unfortunate gentlemen, in a granary at Preston. The 
wounded man fell sick, as the story goes, and vomited the 
scarlet cloth which the ball had passed into the wound. 
" man, Wattie," cried his brother, " if you have a ward- 
robe in your wame, 1 wish you would vomit me a pair 
o* breeks." But, after all, it was amongst the old ladies 
that the great abundance of choice pungent Scottish expres- 
sions, such as you certainly do not meet with in these days, 
was to be sought. In their position of society, education 
either in England, or education conducted by English 
teachers, has so spread in Scottish families, and intercourse 
with the south has been so increased, that all these colloquial 
peculiarities are fast disappearing. Some of the ladies of 
this older school felt some indignation at the change which 
they lived to see was fast going on. One of them being 
asked if an individual whom she had lately seen was 
" Scotch," answered with some bitterness, " I canna say ; 
ye a' speak sae genteel now that I dinna ken wha's Scotch." 
It was not uncommon to find, in young persons, examples, 
some years ago, of an attachment to the Scottish dialect, 
like that of the old lady. In the life of P. Tytler, lately 
published, there is an account of his first return to Scotland 
from a school in England. His family were delighted with 
his appearance, manners, and general improvement ; but a 
sister did not share this pleasure unmixed, for being foimd 
in tears, and the remark being made, "Is he not charming ?" 
her reply was, in great distress, " Oh yes, but he speaks 
English!" 

The class of old Scottish ladies marked by so many 



98 REMINISCENCES OF 

peculiarities generally lived in provincial towns, and never 
dreamt of going from home. Many had never been in 
London, or had even crossed the Tweed. But as Lord 
Cockburn's experience goes back further than mine, and as 
he had special opportunities of being acquainted with their 
characteristic peculiarities, I will quote his animated de- 
scription at page 57 of his Memorials. "There was a 
singular race of old Scotch ladies. They were a delightful 
set — strong-headed, warm-hearted, and high-spirited — 
merry even in solitude ; very resolute ; indifferent about 
the modes and habits of the modern world, and adhering 
to their own ways, so as to stand out like primitive rocks 
above ordinary society. Their prominent qualities of sense, 
humour, affection, and spirit, were embodied in curious 
outsides, for they all dressed, and spoke, and did exactly 
as they chose. Their language, like their habits, entirely 
Scotch, but without any other vulgarity than what perfect 
naturalness is sometimes mistaken for."* 

This is a masterly description of a race now all but 
passed away. I have known several of them in my early 
days ; and amongst them we must look for the racy 
Scottish peculiarities of diction and of expression which, 
with them, are also nearly gone. Lord Cockburn has 
given some illustrations of these peculiarities ; and I have 
heard others, especially connected with Jacobite partialities, 
of which I say nothing, as they are in fact rather strong 
for such an occasion as the present. One, however, I heard 
lately as coming from a Forfarshire old lady of this class, 
which bears upon the point of " resolute " determination 
referred to in Lord Cockburn's description. She had been 
very positive in the disclaiming of some assertion which 
had been attributed to her, and on being asked if she had 
not written it, or something very like it, she replied, " Na, 
na ; I never write onything of consequence — I may deny 
what I say, but I canna deny what I write." 

* Lord Cockburn's Memorials, p. 58. 



SCOTTISH LIFE S CHARACTER, 99 

Mrs. Baiixi of Newb}i:li, the motlier of our distinguished 
countryman the late General Sir David Baird, was always 
spoken of as a grand specimen of the class. When the 
news arrived from India of the gallant but unfortunate 
action of '84 against Hyder Ali, in which her son, then 
Captain Baird, was engaged, it was stated that he and othei 
officers had been taken prisoners and chained together two 
and two. The friends were careful in breaking such sad 
intelligence to the mother of Captain Baird. When, how- 
ever, she was made fully to understand the position of her 
son and his gallant companions, disdaining all weak and 
useless expressions of her own grief, and knowing well the 
restless and athletic habits of her son, all she said was, 
" Lord pity the chiel that's chained to our Davy." * 

The ladies of this class had certainly no affectation in 
speaking of those who came under their displeasure, even 
when life and death were concerned. I had an anecdote 
illustrative of this characteristic, in a well-known old lady 
of the last century, Miss Johnstone of Westerhall. She 
had been extremely indignant that, on the death of her 
brother, his widow had proposed to sell off the old furniture 
of Westerhall. She was attached to it from old associations, 
and considered the parting with it little short of sacrilege. 
The event was, however, arrested by death, or, as she 
describes the result, "The furniture was a' to be roupit, and 
we couldna persuade her. But before the sale cam' on, in 
God's gude providence, she just clinkit aff hersell." Of this 
same IVIiss Johnstone, another characteristic anecdote has 
been preserved in the family. She came into possession 
of Hawkhill, near Edinburgh, and died there. When 
dying, a tremendous storm of rain and thunder came on, 
so as to shake the house. In her own quaint eccentric 

* It is but due to the memory of *' our Davie" to state that 
"the chiel" to whom he was chained, in writing home to his 
friends, bore high testimony to the kindness and consideration 
with which he was treated by Captain Baird. 



100 REMINISCENCES OF 

spirit, and with no thought of profane or li^^ht allusions, 
she looked up, and, listening to the storm, quietly re- 
marked, in reference to her departure, " Ech, sirs ! what 
a night for me to be fleeing through the air ! " Of fine 
acute sarcasm I recollect hearing an expression from a 
modern sample of the class, a charming character, but only 
to a certain degree answering to the description of the 
older generation. Conversation turning, and with just 
indignation, on the infidel remarks which had been heard 
from a certain individual, and on his irreverent treatment 
of Holy Scripture, all that this lady condescended to say of 
him was, " Gey impudent of him, I think." 

A recorded reply of old Lady Perth to a French gentle- 
man is quaint and characteristic. They had been discussing 
the respective merits of the cookery of each country. The 
Frenchman offended the old Scottish peeress by some 
disparaging remarks on Scottish dishes, and by highly pre- 
ferring those of France. All she would answer was, "Weel, 
weel, some fowk like parritch, and some like paddocks."* 

Of this older race — the ladies who were aged fifty years 
ago — the description is given by Lord Cockburn in strong 
and bold outline. I would pretend to nothing more than 
giving a few illustrative details from my own experience, 
which may assist the description by adding some practical 
realities to the picture. Several of them whom I knew in 
my early days certainly answered to many of those descrip- 
tions of Lord Cockburn. Their language and expressions 
had a zest and peculiarity which is gone, and which would 
not, I fear, do for modern life and times. 

I have spoken of Miss Erskine of Dun, which is near 
Montrose. She, however, resided in Edinburgh. But those 
I knew best had lived many years in the then retired 
society of a country town. Some were my own relations ; 
and in boyish days (for they had not generally much 
patience with boys) were looked up to with considerable 

* Frogs. 



SCOTTISH LIFE d: CHARACTER. 101 

awe as very formidable personages. Their characters and 
modes of expression in many respects remarkably corre- 
sponded with Lord Cockburn's description. There was a 
dry Scottish humour which we fear their successors do not 
inherit. One of these Montrose ladies had many anecdotes 
told of her quaint ways and sayings. Walking in the 
street one day, slippery from frost, she fairly fell down. 
A young officer with much politeness came forward and 
picked her up, earnestly asking her at the same time, " I 
hope, ma'am, you are no worse ?" to which she replied, 
looking at him very steadily, " Indeed, sir, I'm just as little 
the better." A few days after, she met her military sup- 
porter in a shop. He was a fine tall youth, upwards of six 
feet high, and by way of making some grateful recognition 
for his late polite attention, she eyed him from head to foot ; 
and as she was of the opinion of the old Scotch lady, who 
declared she " aye liked bonny fowk," she viewed her young 
friend with much satisfaction, but which she only evinced 
by the dry remark, ^* Od, ye're a lang lad ; God gie ye 
grace." 

I had from a relative or intimate friend of two sisters 
of this school, well known about Glasgow, an odd account 
of what it seems from their own statement had passed be- 
tween them at a country house, where they had attended 
a sale by auction. As the business of the day went on, a 
dozen of silver spoons had to be disposed of ; and before 
they were put up for competition, they were, according to 
the usual custom, handed round for inspection to the 
company. When returned into the hands of the auctioneer, 
he found only eleven. In great wrath, he ordered the door 
to be shut, that no one might escape, and insisted on every 
one present being searched, to discover the delinquent. 
One of the sisters, in consternation^ whispered to the other, 
"Esther, ye hae nae gotten the spune ?" to which she 
replied, " Na ; but I hae gotten Mrs. Sid dons in my pocket." 
She had been struck by a minature of the great actress, and 
had quietly pocketed it. The cautious reply of the sister 



102 REMimSCENCES OF 

was, " Then just drop her, Esther." . One of the sisterhood, 
a connection of my own, had much of this dry Scottish 
himiour. She had a lodging in the house of a respectable 
grocer ; and on her niece most innocently asking her, " if 
she was not very fond of her landlord," in reference to the 
excellence of her apartments and the attention he paid to 
her comfort, she demurred to the question on the score of 
its propriety, by replying, " Fond of my landlord ! that 
would be an unaccountable fondness." 

An amusing account was given of an interview and 
conversation between this lady and the provost of Mon- 
trose. She had demurred at paying some municipal tax 
with which she had been charged, and the provost was 
anxious to prevent her getting into difficulty on the sub- 
ject, and kindly called to convince her of the fairness of 
the claim, and the necessity of paying it. In his explana- 
tion he referred back to his owti bachelor days when a 
sunUar payment had been required from him. " I assure 
you, ma'am," he said, " when I was in your situation I was 
called upon in a similar way for this tax ;" to which she 
replied, in quiet scorn, " In my situation ! an' whan were 
ye in my situation — an auld maid leevin' in a flat wi' an 
ae lass ?" But the complaints of such imposts were urged 
in a very humorous manner by another Montrose old 
lady. Miss Helen Carnegy of Craigo ; she hated paying 
taxes, and always pretended to misunderstand their nature. 
One day, receiving a notice of such payment signed by the 
provost (Thom), she broke out : " I dinna understand thae 
taxes ; but I just think that when Mrs. Thom wants a new 
gown, the provost sends me a tax paper !" The good 
lady's naive rejection of the idea that she could be in any 
sense " fond of her landlord," already referred to, was some- 
what in unison with a similar feeling recorded to have 
been expressed by the late Mr. Wilson, the celebrated 
Scottish vocalist. He was taking lessons from the late 
Mr. Finlay Dun, one of the most accomplished musicians 
of the day. Mr. Dun had just returned from Italy, and^ 



SCOTTISH LIFE <& CHARACTER. 103 

impressed with, admiration of tlie deep pathos, sentiment, 
and passion of the Italian school of music, he regretted to 
find in his pupil so lovely a voice and so much talent 
losing much of its effect for want of feeling. Anxious, 
therefore, to throw into his friend's performance something 
of the Italian expression, he proposed to bring it out by 
this suggestion : " Now, Mr. Wilson, just suppose that I am 
your lady love, and sing to me as you could imagine your- 
self doing were you desirous of impressing her with your 
earnestness and affection." Poor ^Ir. Wilson hesitated, 
blushed, and under doubt how far sucb a personification 
even in his case was allowable, at last remonstrated, " Aye, 
!Mr. Dun, ye forget I'm a married man !" 

A case has been reported of a country girl, however, 
who thought it possible there might be an excess in such 
scrupulous regard to appearances. On her marriage-day, 
the youth to whom she was about to be united said to her 
in a triumphant tone, " Weel, Jenny, haven't I been unco 
ceevil," alluding to the fact that during their whole court- 
ship he had never even given her a kiss. Her quiet reply 
was, " Ou, ay, man ; senselessly ceevil.'* 

One of these Montrose ladies and a sister lived to- 
gether ; and in a very quiet way they were in the habit of 
giving little dinner-parties, to which occasionally they in 
vited their gentlemen friends. However, gentlemen were 
not always to be had ; and on one occasion, when such a 
difficulty had occurred, they were talking over the matter 
with a friend. The one lady seemed to consider such an 
acquisition almost essential to the having a dinner at all. 
The other, who did not see the same necessity, quietly 
adding, " But, indeed, oor Jean thinks a man perfect sal- 
vation." 

Yery much of the same class of remarks was the fol- 
lowing sly remark of one of the sisterhood. At a well- 
known tea-table in a country town in Forfarshire, the 
events of the day, grave and gay, had been fully discussed by 
the assembled sisterhood. The occasion was improved by 



104 REMINISCENCES OF 

F.n elderly spinster, as follows : — " Weel, weel, sirs, tliese 
are solemn events — death and marriage — but ye ken-they're 
what we must all come till." " Eh, Miss Jeany ! ye have 
been lang spared," was the arch reply of a younger member, 

Tliere was occasionally a pawky semi-sarcastic humour 
in the replies of some of the ladies we speak of that was 
quite irresistible, of which I have from a friend a good 
illustration in an anecdote well known at the time. A 
late well-known member of the Scottish bar, when a youth, 
was somewhat of a dandy, and, I suppose, somewhat short 
and sharp in his temper. He was going to pay a visit in the 
country, and was making a great fuss about his preparing 
and putting up his habiliments. His old aunt was much 
annoyed at all this bustle, and stopped him by the somewhat 
contemptuous question, " Whar's this you're gaun, Robby, 
that ye mak sic a grand wark about yer claes ?" The young 
man lost temper, and pettishly replied, " I'm going to the 
devil." " 'Deed, Robby, then," was the quiet answer, " ye 
needna be sae nice, he'll juist tak' ye as ye are." 

Ladies of this class had a quiet mode of expressing 
themselves on very serious subjects, which indicated their 
quaint power of description, rather than their want of 
feeling. Thus, of two sisters, when one had died, it was 
supposed that she had injured herself by an imprudent 
indulgence in strawberries and cream, of which she had 
partaken in the country. A friend was condoling with 
the surviving sister, and, expressing her sorrow, had added, 
" I had hoped your sister was to live many years." To 
which her relative replied — " Leeve ! hoo could she leeve ! 
she juist felled* hersell at Craigo wi' strawberries and 
cream !" However, she spoke with the same degree of 
coolness of her own decease. For when her friend was 
comforting her in illness, by the hopes that she would, 
after winter, enjoy again some of their country spring 
butter, she exclaimed, without the slightest idea of being 

* Killea. 



SCOTTISH LIFE cfc CHARACTER, 105 

guilty of any irreverence, " Spring butter ! by that time I 
shall be buttering in heaven." When really dying, and 
when friends were round her bed, she overheard one of 
them saying to another, " Her face has lost its colour ; it 
grows like a sheet of paper." The quaint spirit even then 
broke out in the remark, " Then I'm sure it maun be hroon 
paper." A very strong-minded lady of the class, and, in 
Lord Cockbum's language, '' indifferent about modes and 
habits," had been asking from a lady the character of a 
cook she was about to hire. The lady naturally entered 
a little upon her moral qualifications, and described her as 
a very decent woman ; the response which was, " Oh, 
d — n her decency ; can she make good collops ?" — an 
answer which would somewhat surprise a lady of Moray 
Place now, if engaged in a similar discussion of a servant's 
merits. 

The Eev. Dr. Cook of Haddington supplies an excellent 
anecdote, of which the point is in the dry Scottish answer : 
An old lady of the Doctor's acquaintance, about seventy, 
sent for her medical attendant to consult him about a sore 
throat, which had troubled her for some days. Her medi- 
cal man was ushered into her room, decked out with the 
now-prevailing fashion, a mustache and flowing beard. 
The old lady, after exchanging the usual civilities, de- 
scribed her complaint to the worthy son of jEsculapius. 
" Well," says he, " do you know^, Mrs. Macfarlane, I used 
to be much troubled with the very same kind of sore 
throat, but ever since I allowed my mustache and beard 
to grow, I have never been troubled with it." " Aweel, 
aweel," said the old lady drily, " that may be the case, 
but ye maun prescribe some other method for me to get 
quit o' the sair throat ; for ye ken, doctor, I canna adopt 
that cure." 

But how exquisite the answ^er of old Mrs. Eobison, 
widow of the eminent professor of natural philosophy, 
and who had a morbid dislike to everything which she 
thought savoured of cant She had invited a gentleman to 



106 REMINISCENCES OF 

tUnner on a particular day, and lie liad accepted, with tlie 
leservation, " If I am spared" — " Weel, weel," said I^Iis, 
Bobison, " if ye're dead, I'll no expect ye." 

I liad two grand-aunts living at Montrose at that time 
— two Miss Ramsays of Balmain. They were somewhat 
of the severe class — Nelly especially, who was an object 
rather of awe than of affection. She certainly had a very- 
awful appearance to young apprehensions, from the 
strangeness of her head gear. Ladies of this class Lord 
Cockburn has spoken of as " ha\4ng their peculiarities 
embodied in curious outsides, as they dressed, spoke, and 
did exactly as they chose." As a sample of such curious 
outside and dress, my good aunt used to go about the house 
with an immense pillow strapped over her head — warm 
but formidable. These two maiden grand-aunts had in- 
vited their niece to pay them a visit — an aunt of mine, who 
had made what they considered a very imprudent mar- 
riage, and where considerable poverty was likely to accom? 
pany the step she had taken. The poor niece had to bear 
many a slap directed to her improvident union, as for 
example : One day she had asked for a piece of tape for some 
work she had in hand as a young wife expecting to become 
a mother. I^Iiss Nelly said, with much point, " Ay, Kitty, 
ye shall get a bit knittin' {i.e., a bit of tape). We hae 
a' thing ; we're no married." It was this lady who, by an 
inadvertent use of a term, showed what was passing in her 
mind in a way which must have been quite transparent to 
the bystanders. At a supper wliich she was giving, she 
was evidently much annoyed at the reckless and clumsy 
manner in which a gentleman was operating upon a ham 
which was at table, cutting out great lumps, and distribut- 
ing them to the company. The lady said in a very 
querulous tone, " Oh, Mr, Divet, will you help Mrs, So 
and So ? " — di vet being a provincial term for a turf or sod 
cut out of the green, and the resemblance of it to the 
pieces carved out by the gentleman evidently having taken 
posseggion of her imagination, Mrs. Helen Carnegy oi 



SCOTTISH LIFE c& CHARACTER. 1C7 

Craigo was a thorougli specimen of this class of old Scottish 
ladies. She lived in Montrose, and died in 1818, at the 
advanced age of 91. She was a Jacobite, and very 
aristocratic in her feelings, but on social terms with many 
burghers of Montrose, or Munross, as it was called. She 
preserved a very nice distinction of addresses, suited to 
different individuals in the town, according as she placed 
them in the scale of her consideration. She liked a party 
at quadrille, and sent out her servant every morning to 
invite the ladies required to make up the game, and her 
directions were graduated thus — " Nelly, ye'U ging to 
Lady Carnegy's, and mak my compliments, and ask the 
hcyiiour of her ladyship's company, and that of the Miss 
Camegies, to tea this evening ; and if they canna come, 
ging to the Miss Mudies, and ask the 'pleasure of their 
company ; and if they canna come, ye may ging to Miss 
Hunter and ask the favour of her company ; and if she 
canna come, ging to Lucky Spark and hid her comer 

A great confusion existed in the minds of some of those 
old-fashioned ladies on the subject of modern invention^ 
and usages. A Montrose old lady protested against the 
use of steam-vessels, as counteracting the decrees of Provi- 
dence in going against wind and tide, vehemently assert- 
ing, " I would hae naething to say to thae impious vessels.** 
Another lady was equally discomposed by the introduction 
of gas, asking with much earnestness, " What's to become 
o' the puir whales ?" deeming their interests materially 
affected by this superseding of their oil. A lady of this 
class, who had long lived in country retirement, coming up 
to Edinburgh, was, after an absence of many years, going 
along Princes Street about the time when the water-carts 
were introduced for preventing the dust, and seeing one 
of them passing, rushed from off the pavement to the 
driver, saying, " Man, ye're shailiri! a' the water." Such 
being her ignorance of modern improvements. 

There is a point and originality in the expressions on 
common matters of the old Scottish ladies, unlike what 



108 REMINISCENCES OF 

one finds now ; for example : A country minister had been 
invited, with his wife, to dine and spend the night at the 
house of one of his lairds. Their host was very jjroud of 
one of the very large beds which had just come into 
fashion, and in the morning asked the lady how she had 
slept in it. " vary well, sir ; but, indeed, I thought I'd 
lost the minister athegither." 

Nothing, however, in my opinion comes up to the 
originality and point of the Montrose old maiden lady's 
most " exquisite reason" for not subscribing to the pro- 
posed fund for organizing a volunteer corps in that town. 
It was at the time of expected invasion at the beginning 
of the century, and some of the town magistrates called 
upon her and solicited her subscription to raise men for 
the service of the king — " Indeed," she answered right 
sturdily, " I'll dae nae sic thing ; I ne'er could raise a man 
for mysell, and I'm no gaen to raise men for King George." 

Some curious stories are told of ladies of this class, as 
connected with the novelties and excitement of railway 
travelling. Missing their luggage, or finding that some- 
thing has gone wrong about it, often causes very terrible 
distress, and might be amusing, were it not to the sufferer 
so severe a calamity. I was much entertained with the 
earnestness of this feeling, and the expression of it from an 
old Scotch lady, whose box was not forthcoming at the 
station where she was to stop. When urged to be patient, 
her indignant exclamation was — " I can bear ony pairtings 
that may be ca'ed for in God's providence ; but I canna 
Stan' pairtin' frae ma claes." 

The following anecdote from the west exhibits a curious 
confusion of ideas arising from the old-fashioned prejudice 
against Frenchmen and their language, which existed in 
the last generation. During the long French war, two old 
ladies in Stranraer were going to the kirk ; the one said to 
the other, " Was it no a wonderfu' thing that the Breetish 
were aye victorious ower the French in battle." " Not a 
bit," said the other old lady, " dinna ye ken the Breetish 



SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 109 

aye say tlieir prayers before ga'in into battle." The other 
replied, " But canna the French say their prayers as weel." 
The reply was most characteristic, " Hoot ! jabbering bodies, 
wha could understan! them." 

Some of these ladies, as belonging to the old county 
families, had very high notions of their own importance, 
and a great idea of their difference from the burgher fami- 
lies of the town. I am assured of the truth of the follow- 
ing naive specimen of such family pride : — One of the 
olden maiden ladies of Montrose called one day on some 
ladies of one of the families in the neighbourhood, and on 
being questioned as to the news of the town, said, " News ! 

oh, Baillie 's eldest son is to be married." " And 

pray," was the reply, " and pray. Miss , an* fa' ever 

heard o' a merchant i' the toon o' Montrose Aa'm* an eldest 
son?^^ The good lady thought that any privilege of pri- 
mogeniture belonged only to the family of laird. 

It is a dangerous experiment to try passing off un- 
grounded claims upon characters of this description. Many 
a clever sarcastic reply is on record from Scottish ladies, 
directed against those who wished to impose upon them 
some false sentiment. I often think of the remark of the 
outspoken ancient lady, who, when told by her pastor, oi 
wiiose disinterestedness in his charge she was not quite 
sure, that he " had a call from his Lord and Master to go," 
replied — ** Deed, sir, the Lord micht hae ca'ed and ca'ed to 
ye lang eneuch, and ye'd ne'er hae lippened* till him an 
the steepen' hadnae been better." 

At the beginning of this century, when the fear of 
invasion was rife, it was proposed to mount a small battery 
at the water-mouth by subscription, and Miss Carnegy was 
waited on by a deputation from the town-council. One of 
them having addressed her on the subject, she heard him 
with some impatience, and when he had finished, she said. 
" Are ye ane o' the toon council ?" He replied, " I have 

* Trusted. 



110 REMINISCENCES OF 

that honour, ma'am." To which she rejoined, **' Ye may 
hae that profit, but honour ye hae nane ;" and then to the 
point, she added, ** But I've been tell't that ae day's wark 
o' twa or three men wad mount the cannon, and that it 
may be a' dune for twenty shillings ; now there's twa punds 
to ye." The councillor pocketed the money and withdrew. 
On one occasion, as she sat in an easy chair, having assumed 
the habits and privileges of age, Mr. Mollison, the minister 
of the Established Kirk, called on her to solicit for some 
charity. She did not like being asked for money, and, 
from her Jacobite principles, she certainly did not respect 
the Presbyterian Kirk. When he came in she made an 
inclination of the head, and he said, " Don't get up, madam." 
She replied, " Get up ! I wadna rise out of my chair for 
King George himself, let abee a Whig minister." 

This was plain speaking enough, but there is something 
quite inimitable in the matter-of-factness of the following 
story of an advertisement, which may tend to illustrate the 
Antiquary's remark to Mrs. Macleuchar, anent the starting of 
the coach or fly to Queensferry. A carrier, who plied his 
trade between Aberdeen and a village considerably to the 
north of it, was asked by one of the villagers, " Fan are ye 
gaun to the town" (Aberdeen) ? To which he replied, 
" I'll be in on Monanday, God wHlin' and weather per- 
mitting, an' on Tiseday, fither or noP 

It is a curious subject the various shades of Scottish 
dialect and Scottish expressions, commonly called Scotti- 
cisms. We mark in the course of fifty years how some 
disappear altogether ; others become more and more rare, 
and of all of them we may say, I think, that the specimens 
of them are to be looked for every year more in the de- 
scending classes of society. What was common amongst 
peers, judges, lairds, advocates, and people of family and 
education, is now found in himibler ranks of life. There 
are few persons perhaps who have been bom in Scotland, 
and who have lived long in Scotland, whom a nice southern 
ear might not detect as from the north. But far beyond 



SCOTTISH LIFE d: CHAllA CTER. 1 1 1 

Buch nicer shades of distinction, there are strong and cha- 
racteristic marks of a Caledonian origin with which some 
of lis have had practical acquaintance. I possess two 
curious, and now, I believe, rather scarce, publications on 
the prevalent Scotticisms of our speaking and writing. 
One is entitled " Scotticisms designed to Correct Impro- 
prieties of Speech and Writing," by Dr. Beattie of Aber- 
deen. The other is to the same purpose, and is entitled, 
" Observations on the Scottish Dialect," by the late Right 
Honourable Sir John Sinclair. Expressions which were 
common in their days, and used by persons of all ranks, 
are not known by the rising generation. Many amusing 
equivoques used to be current, arising from Scotch people 
in England applying terms and expressions in a manner 
rather surprising to Southern ears. Thus, the story was 
told of a public character dear to the memory of Scotland, 
Henry Dundas (Viscount Melville), applying to Mr. Pitt 
for the loan of a horse " the length of Highgate ;" a very 
common expression in Scotland, at that time, to signify 
the distance to which the ride was to extend. Mr. Pitt 
good humouredly wrote back to say that he was afraid he 
had not a horse in his possession quite so long as Mr. 
Dundas had mentioned, but he had sent the longest he 
had. There is a well-knowTi case of mystification, caused 
to English ears by the use of Scottish terms, which took 
place in the House of Peers during the examination of the 
Magistrates of Edinburgh touching the particulars of the 
Porteous Mob in 1736. The Duke of Newcastle having 
asked the Provost with what kind of shot the town-gjiard, 
commanded by Porteous, had loaded their muskets, received 
the unexpected reply, " Ou, juist sic as ane shutes dukes 
and sic like fules wi'." The answer was considered as a 
contempt of the House of Lords, and the poor Provost 
would have suffered from misconception of his patois, had 
not the Duke of Argyle (who must have been exceedingly 
amused) explained that the worthy magistrate's expression 
when rendered into Enorlish meant to describe the shot 



112 REMINISCENCES OF 

used for ducks and water-fowl, Tlie circumstance is referred 
to by Sir W. Scott in the notes to the Heart of Mid-Lothian, 
A similar equivoque upon the double meaning of " Deuk" 
in Scottish language supplied material for a poor woman's 
honest compliment to a benevolent Scottish nobleman. 
John Duke of Eoxburghe was one day out riding, and at 
the gate of Floors he was accosted by an importunate old 
beggar woman. He gave her half-a-crown, which pleased 
her so much that she exclaimed, " Weel's me on your guse 
face, for Deuk's our little to ca' ye." 

A very curious list may be made of words used in 
Scotland in a sense which would be quite unintelligible to 
southerns. Such applications are going out, but I remember 
them well amongst the old-fashioned people of Angus and 
the Mearns quite common in conversation. I subjoin some 
S2)ecimens : — 

Bestial signifies amongst Scottish agriculturists cattle 
generally, the whole aggregate number of beasts on the 
farm. Again, a Scottish farmer when he speaks of hia 
" hogs," or of buying " hogs," has no reference to swine, 
but means young sheep, i,e,. Rheep before they have lost 
their first fleece. 

Discreet does not bear the meaning of prudent or 
cautious, but of civil, kind, attentive. Such application of 
the word is said to have been made by Dr. Chalmers to 
the Bishop of Exeter. These two eminent individuals had 
met for the first time at the hospitable house of the late 
Mr. Murray the publisher. On the introduction taking 
place, the bishop expressed himself so warmly as to the 
pleasure it gave him to meet so distinguished and excellent 
a man as Dr. Chalmers, that the Doctor was quite overcome, 
and in a deprecating tone, said, " Oh, I am sure your lord- 
ehip is very ^ discreet.' " 

Enterteening has in olden Scottish usage the sense not 
of amusing, but interesting. I remember an honest Dandie 
Dinmont on a visit to Bath. A lady, who had taken a 
kind charge of him, accompanied him to the theatre, and 



SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 113 

in the most tlirilliiig scene of Kemble's acting, what is 
usually termed the dagger scene in Macbeth, she turned to 
the farmer with a whisper, "Is not that fine ?" to which 
the confidential reply was, " Oh, mem, it's verra enter- 
teening P^ Enterteening expressing his idea of the inter- 
esting ! 

Pig, in old-fashioned Scotch, was always used for a 
coarse earthenware jar or vessel. In the life of the late 
Patrick Tytler, the amiable and gifted historian of Scotland, 
there occurs an amusing exemplification of the utter con- 
fusion of ideas caused by the use of Scottish phraseology. 
The family, when they went to London, had taken with 
them an old Scottish servant who had no notion of any 
terms beside her own. She came in one day greatly dis^ 
turbed at the extremely backward state of knowledge of 
domestic affairs amongst the Londoners. She had been to 
so many shops and could not get "a great broonpig''^ to 
hand the butter in." 

From a relative of the family I have received an 
account of a still worse confusion of ideas caused by the 
inquiry of a Mrs. Chisholm of Chisholm, who died in 
London in 1825, at an advanced age. She had come from 
the country to be with her daughter, and was a genuine 
Scottish lady of the old school. She wished to purchase a 
table-cloth of a cheque pattern like the squares of a chess 
or draft-board. Now a draft-board used to be called (as I 
remember) by old Scotch people a " damt-brod." J Accord- 
ingly, Mrs. Chisholm entered the shop of a linen-draper, 
and asked to be shown table-linen a dam-hrod pattern. 
The shopman, although taken aback by a request, as he 
considered it, so strongly worded, by a respectable old lady, 
brought down what he assured her was the largest and 
widest made. No ; that would not do. She repeated her 
wish for a dam-brod pattern, and left the shop surprised at 

* Earthenware vessel. 
t Dam, the game of drafts. % Brod, the board. 

I 



114 KEMINISCENCES OF 

the stupidity of the London shopman not having the 
pattern she asked for. 

Silly has in genuine old Scottish use reference to weak- 
ness of body only, and not of mind. Before knowing the 
use of the word, I remember being much astonished at a 
farmer of the Mearns telling me of the strongest-minded 
man in the county that he was " growing uncommon silly," 
not insinuating any decline of mental vigour, but only 
meaning that his bodily strength was giving way. 

Frail ^ in like manner, expresses infirmity of body, and 
implies no charge of any laxity in moral principle ; yet I 
have seen English persons looking with considerable con- 
sternation when an old-fashioned Scottish lady, speaking of 
a young and graceful female, lamented her being so frail. 

Fail is another instance of different use of words. In 
Scotland it used to be quite common to say of a person 
whose health and strength had declined, that he had failed. 
To say this of a person connected with mercantile business 
has a very serious effect upon Southern ears, as implying 
only bankruptcy and ruin. I recollect many years ago at 
Monmouth, a Scottish lady creating much consternation in 
the mind of the mayor, by saying of a worthy man, the 
principal banker in the town, whom they both concurred 
in praising, that she was " sorry to find he was failing ^^ 

Honest has in Scotch a peculiar application, irrespective 
of any integrity of moral character. It is a kindly mode 
of referring to an individual, as we would say to a stranger, 

'^ Honest man, would you tell me the way to ?" or as 

Lord Hermand, when about to sentence a woman for steal- 
ing, began, remonstratively, " Honest woman, what garr'd 
ye steal your neighbours tub ?" 

Superstitious: A correspondent informs me that in 
some parts of Mid-Lothian, the people constantly use the 
word "superstitious" for "bigoted ;" thus, speaking of a 
very keen Free Church person, they will say, " he is awfu' 
supperstitious." 

Kail in England simply expresses cabbage, but in Scot- 



SCOTTISH LIFE cfi CHARACTER. 115 

land represents the chief meal of the day. Hence the old- 
fashioned easy way of asking a friend to dinner was to ask 
him if he would take his kail with the family. In the 
same usage of the word, the Scottish proverb expresses dis- 
tress and trouble in a person's affairs, by saying that " he 
has got his kail through the reek." In like manner had- 
dock, in Kincardineshire and Aberdeenshire, used to express 
the same idea, as the expression is, " Will ye tak your 
haddock wi' us the day ?" that fish being so plentiful and 
so excellent that it was a standing dish. There is this 
difference, however, in the local usage, that to say in 
Aberdeen, Will you take your haddock ? implies an invita- 
tion to dinner ; whilst in Montrose the same expression 
means an invitation to supper. Differences of pronuncia- 
tion also caused great confusion and misunderstanding. 
Novels used to be pronounced novels ; envy envT/ ; a cloak 
was a clock, to the surprise of an English lady, to whom 
the maid said, on leaviag the house, " Mem, winna ye tak 
tlie dock wi' ye ?" 

The names of children's diseases were a remarkable 
item in the catalogue of Scottish words : — Thus, in 1775, 
Mrs. Betty Muirheid kept a boarding-school for young ladies 
in the Trongate of Glasgow, near the Tron steeple. A girl 
on her arrival was asked whether she had had smallpox. 
" Yes, mem, I've had the sma'pox, the nirls,* the blabs, t 
the scaw,t the kinkhost§ and the fever, the branks|| and 
the worm."^ 

There is indeed a case of Scottish pronunciation which 
adds to the force and copiousness of our language, by dis- 
criminating four words, which, according to English speak- 
ing, are undistmguishable in mere pronunciation. The 
words are — wright (a carpenter), to write (with a pen), right 
(the reverse of wrong), rite (a ceremony). The four are 
however distinguished in old-fashioned Scotch pronunciation 
thus — 1, He's a -vviricht ; 2, to wireete ; 3, richt ; 4, rite ; 

* Measles. f Nettle-rash. t The itch. 

§ Whooping-cough. |1 Mumps. % Toothache. 



116 REMINISCENCES OF 

I can remember a peculiar Scottish pkrase very com- 
monly used, which now seems to have passed away. I 
mean the expression " to let on " indicating the notice or 
observation of some thing, or of some person. — For example, 

" I saw Mr. , at the meeting, but I never let on that 

I knew he was present." A form of expression which has 
been a great favourite in Scotland, in my recollection, has 
much gone out of practice — I mean the frequent use ol 
diminutives, generally adopted either as terms of endear- 
ment or of contempt. Thus, it was very common to speak 
of a person whom you meant rather to imdervalue, as a 
mannie^ a hodie^ a hit hodie, or a wee hit mannie. The bailie 
in Rob Roy, when he intended to represent his party as 
persons of no importance, used the expression, "We are 
bits o' Glasgow bodies." In a popular child's song, we have 
the endearing expression, " My wee bit laddie." We have 
known the series of diminutives, as applied to the canine 
race, very rich in diminution. There is — 1. A dog ; 2. A 
doggie ; 3. A bit doggie ; 4. A wee bit doggie ; and even 
5. A wee bit doggikie. A correspondent has supplied me 
with, a diminutive, which is of a more extravagant degree 
of attenuation than any I ever met with. It is this — " A 
peerie wee bit o' a manikinie." We used to hear such ex- 
pressions as these, which would not now be reckoned 
genteel : " Come in and get your bit dinner ; " "I hope 
you are now settled in your ain bit housie." In the 
Caldwell papers (page 39) we have an interesting case of 
a diminutive happily applied. It is recorded in the 
family that Mrs. Mure, on receiving from David Hume, on 
his deathbed, the copy of his history which is still in the 
library of Caldwell, marked ^^From the Author," she 
thanked him very warmly, and added in her native dialect, 
which she and the historian spoke in great purit}^, " 
David, that's a book ye may weel be proud o', but before 
ye dee ye should burn a' your wee bukies ;" to which, 
raising himself, he replied with some vehemence, half 
offended haK in joke — " What for should I burn a' my wee 



SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 117 

bukies ? " He was too weak for discussion. He sL.ook her 
hand and bade her farewell. 

An admirable Scotch expression I recollect from one 
of the Montrose ladies before referred to. Her niece was 
asking a great many questions on some point concerning 
which her aunt had been giving her information, and com- 
ing over and over the ground, demanding an explanation 
how this had happened, and why something else was so and 
so. The old lady lost her patience, and at last burst forth : 
" I winna be back-speired noo, Pally FuUerton." Back- 
speired ! how much more pithy and expressive than cross- 
examined ! Another capital expression to mark that a per- 
son has stated a point rather under than over the tnith, is 
" The less I lee," as in Guy Mannering, where the precentor 
exclaims to Mrs. MacCandlish, " Aweel, guidwife, then the 
less I lee." We have found it a very amusing task 
collecting together a number of these phrases, and forming 
them into a connected epistolary composition. We may 
imagine the sort of puzzle it would be to a young person 
of the present day — one of what we may call the new 
school. We will suppose an English young lady, or an 
English educated young lady, lately married, receiving such 
a letter as the following from the Scottish aunt of her 
husband. We may suppose it to be written by a very old 
lady, who, for the last fifty years, has not moved from 
home, and has changed nothing of her early days. I can 
safely aflBrra that every word of it I have either seen 
written in a letter, or have heard in ordinary conversa- 
tion : — 

" Montrose,* 

*' My Dear Niece — I am real glad to find my nevy 
has made so good a choice as to have secured you for his 
wife ; and I am sure this step will add much to his com- 
fort, and we behove to rejoice at it. He will now look 
forward to his evening at home, and you will be happy 



* The Scotticisms are printed in italics. 



118 REMINISCENCES OF 

when you find you never want him. It will be a great 
pleasure when you hear him in the trance^ and wipe his feet 
upon the hass. But Willy is not strong, and you must look 
well after him. I hope you do not let him snuff so much as 
he did. He had a sister, poor thing, who died early. She 
wai^ remarkably clever, and well read, and most intelligent, 
but was always uncommonly silly.^ In the autumn of 
'40 she had a sair host, and was aye speaking through a cold, 
and at dinner never did more than to sitp a few family 
hroth, I am afraid she did not change her feet when she 
came in from the wet one evening. I never let on that I 
observed anything to be wrong ; but I remember asking 
her to come and sit upon the fire. But she went out and 
did not take the door with her. She Imgered till next 
spring, when she had a great income,\ and her parents were 
then too poor to take her south, and she died. I hope you 
will like the lassie Eppie w^e have sent you. She is a 
discreet girl, and comes of a decent family. She has a 
sister married upon a Seceding minister at Kirkcaldy. But 
I hear he expects to be transported soon. She was brought 
up in one of the hospitals here. Her father had been a 
souter and a pawky chiel enough, but was doited for many 
years, and her mother was sair dottled. We have been 
greatly interested in the hospital where Eppie was educate, 
and intended getting up a bazaar for it, and would have 
asked you to help us, as we were most anxious to raise some 
additional funds, when one of the Baillies died and left it 
feuing 'Stances to the amount of 5000 pounds, which was 
really a great mortification, I am not a good hand of write, 
and therefore shall stop. I am very tired, and have been 
gantin^X for this half hour, and even in correspondence 
gantin' may be smittin\^ The kitche7i\\ is just coming in, 
and I feel a smell of tea, so when T get my four hours, that 



* Dehcate in health. f Ailment. 

X Yawning. § Catching. || Tea-urn. 



SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTEH. 119 

%vill refresh, me and set me up again. — I aiu your affec- 
tionate aunt, 

" Isabel Dingwall.'* 

This letter, then, we suppose written by a "v^ry old 
Forfarshire lady to her niece in England, and perhaps the 
young lady who received it might answer it in a style as 
strange to her aunt as her aunt's is to her, especially if she 
belonged to that lively class of our young female friends 
who indulge a little in phraseology which they have im- 
bibed from their brothers or male cousins, who have per- 
haps, for their amusement, encouraged them in its use. 
The answer, then, might be something like this ; and with- 
out meaning to be severe or satirical upon our young lady 
friends, I may truly say that though I never heard from 
one young lady all these fast termSy I have heard the most 
of them separately from many : — 

" My Dear Aunty — Many thanks for your kind letter 
and its enclosure. From my not knowing Scotch, I am 
not quite up to the whole, and some of the expressions I 
don't twig at all. Willie is absent for a few days, but 
when he returns home he will explain it ; he is quite 
awake on all such things. I am glad you are pleased that 
Willie and I £ire now spliced. I am well aware that you 
will hear me spoken of in some quarters as a fast young 
lady, but don't believe them. We get on famously at 
present. Willie comes home from the office every after- 
noon at five. We generally take a walk before dinner, 
and read and work if we don't go out ; and I assure you 
we are very jolly. We don't know many people here yet. 
It is rather a swell neighbourhood ; and if we can't get in 
•^ith the nobs, depend upon it we will never take up with 
any society that is decidedly snobby. I daresay the girl 
you are sending will be very useful to us^ our present one 
is an awful slow coach. But we hope some day to sport 
buttons. My father and mother paid us a visit last week 



120 KEMINISCENCES OF 

The governor is well, and, notwithstanding years and infir- 
mities, comes ont quite a jolly old cove. He is, indeed, if 
you will pardon the partiality of a daughter, a regular 
brick. He says he will help us if we can't get on, and I 
make no doubt will in due time fork out the tin. I am 
busy working a cap for you, dear aunty ; it is from a 
pretty German pattern, and I think when finished will be 
quite a stunner. There is a shop in Eegent Street where 
I hire patterns, and can get six of them for 5 bob. I then 
• return them without buying them, which I think a capital 
dodge. I hope you will sport it for my sake at your first 
tea and turn out. 

*^ I have nothing more to say particular, but am 
always " Your affectionate niece, 

" Eliza Dingwall." 

" F,S. — I am trying to break Willie off his horrid 
habit of taking snuff. I had rather see him take his cigar 
when we are walking. You will be told, I daresay, that 
I sometimes take a weed myself. It is not true, dear 
aunty," 

Before leaving the question of change in Scottish ex- 
pressions, it may be proper to add a few words on the sub- 
ject of Scottish dialects — i.e., on the differences which exist 
in different counties or localities in the Scottish tongue 
itself. These differences used to be as marked as different 
languages ; of course they still exist amongst the peasantry 
as before. The change consists in their gradual vanishing 
from the conversation of the educated and refined. The 
dialects with which I am most conversant are the two 
which present the greatest contrast, viz., the Angus and 
the Aberdeen, or the slow and broad Scotch — the quick 
. and sharp Scotch. Whilst the one talks of " buuts and 
shoon," the other calls the same articles " beets and sheen." 
With the Aberdonian "what" is always "fat" or " fatten," 
" music" is " meesic," "brutes are breets ;" " What are ye 
duing ? " of Southern Scotch, in Aberdeen would be " Fat 



SCOTTISH LTFE & CHARACTER. 121 

are ye deein' ?"* Thus, when a Southerner mentioned the 
death of a friend, a sharp lady of the granite city asked 
"Fat deed he o'?" which being utterly incomprehensible 
to the person asked, another Aberdonian lady kindly ex- 

* Fergusson, nearly a century ago, noted this peculiarity of 
dialect in his poem of The Leith Races : — 

" The Buchan bodies through the beach, 
Their bunch of Findrams cry ; 
And skirl out bauld in Norland speech, 
Gude speldans, /a will buy." 

**Findon," or ** Finnan haddies," are split, smoked, and 
partially dried haddocks. Fergusson, in using the word ** Fin- 
drams" which is not found in our glossaries, has been thought 
to be in error, but his accuracy has been verified, singularly 
enough, within the last few days, by a worthy octogenarian 
Newhaven fisherman, bearing the characteristic name of Flucker, 
who remarked ** that it was a word commonly used in his youth : 
and, above aU,'* he added, ** when Leith Eaces were held on the 
sands ye was like to be deeved wi' the lang-tongued hi^zies 
skirling out, * Aell a Findram SpeldraiTiSy* and they jist ca'ed it 
^hat to get a better grip o't wi' their tongues." 

In Galloway in 1684, Symson, afterwards an ousted Episco- 
palian mininster (of Kirkinner), notes some peculiarities in the 
speech of the people in that district. ** Some of the countrey 
people, especially those of the elder sort, do very often omit the 
letter * h' after * t' as ting for thing ; tree for three ; tatch for 
thatch ; wit for with ; fait for faith ; mout for mouth, etc. ; and 
also, contrary to some north countrey people, they oftentimes 
pronounce *w' for * v,' as serwant for servant ; and so they call 
the months of February, March, and April, the ware quarter, 
from ver* Hence their common proverb, speaking of the 
stormes in February, * Winter never comes till ware ccmies.^'' 
These peculiarities of language have almost disappeared — the 
immense influx of Irish emigrants during late years having exor- 
cised a perceptible influence over the dialect of Wigtonshire. 

♦ Vcr. The spring months — e. g.y 

*' This was in rer quhen wynter tid.'' — Barhov/r 



122 REMINISCENCES OF 

plained the question, and put it into language wMcli she 
supposed could not be mistaken, as thus, " Fat did he dee 
o'?" If there was this difference between the Aberdeen 
and the Forfar dialect, how much greater must be that 
difference when contrasted with the ore rotundo language 
of an English southern dignitary. Such a one being 
present at a school examination in Aberdeen wished to put 
some questions on Scripture history himself, and asked an 
intelligent boy, " What was the ultimate fate of Pharaoh?" 
This the boy not understanding, the master put the same 
question Aberdonice, " Jemmy, fat was the hinner end o' 
Pharaoh ? " w^hich called forth the ready reply, " He w^as 
drouned i' the Eed Sea." 

The power of Scottish phraseology, or rather of Scottish 
language could not be better displayed than in the follow- 
Aberdonian description of London theatricals : — Mr. Taylor, 
well known in London as having the management of the 
opera-house, had his father up from Aberdeen to visit him 
and see the wonders of the capital. When the old man 
returned home, his friends, anxious to know the impres- 
sions produced on his mind by scenes and characters so 
different from what he had been accustomed to at home, 
inquired what sort of business his son carried on ? " Ou," 
said he (in reference to the operatic singers and the corps 
de ballet), " He just keeps a cum* o* quainiest and a 
wheen widdyfous,J and gars them lissle,§ and loup, and 
mak murgeons,|| to please the great fowk." 

Another ludicrous interrogatory occurred regarding the 
death of a Mr. Thomas Thomson. It appeared there were 
two cousins of this name, both corpulent men. When it 
was announced that Mr. Thomas Thomson was dead, an 
Aberdeen friend of the family asked, "Fatten Thamas 
Thamson ?" He was informed that it was a fat Thomas 
Thomson, upon which the Aberdeen query naturally arose, 

* A number. f \ oung girls. t Gallows birds. 

§ Make whistling noises. || Distorted gestiii'es. 



SCOTTISH LIFE i^ CHARACTEB. 123 

"Aye, but fatten fat Thamas Thamson ?" A young lady 
from Aberdeen had been on a visit to Montrose, and was 
disappointed at finding there a great lack of beaus, and 
balls, and concerts. This lack was not made up to her by 
the invitations which she had received to dinner parties. 
And she thus expressed her feelings on the subject in her 
native dialect, when asked how she liked Montrose, 
" Indeed there's neither men nor meesic, and fat care I for 
meat ? " The dialect and the local feelings of Aberdeen 
were said to have produced some amusement in London, as 
displayed by the lady of the Provost of Aberdeen when 
accompanying her husband going up officially to the capital. 
Some persons to whom she had been introduced recom- 
mended her going to the opera as one of the sights worthy 
the attention of a stranger. The good lady, full of the 
greatness of her situation as wife of the provost, and know- 
ing the sensation her appearance in public occasioned when 
in her own city, and supposing that a like excitement 
would accompany her with the London public, rather 
declined, under the modest plea, " Fat for should I gang to 
the opera, just to creat a confeesion 1 " An aunt of mme, 
who knew Aberdeen well, used to tell a traditionary story 
of two Aberdonian ladies who, by their insinuations against 
each other, finely illustrated the force of the dialect then 
in common use. They had both of them been very atten- 
tive to a sick lady in declining health, and on her death 
each had felt a distrust of the perfect disinterestedness of 
the other's attention. This created more than a coolness 
between them, and the bad feeling came out on their pass- 
ing in the street. The one insinuated her suspicions of 
unfair dealing with the property of the deceased by ejacu- 
lating, as the other passed her, " Henny pig * and green 
tea," to which the other retorted, in the same spirit, " Silk 
coat and negligee !"t Aberdonian pronunciation produced 
on one occasion a curious equivoque between the minister 

* Houey jar. f A female garment then m commou use. 



124 REMINISCENCES OF 

and a mother of a family with whom he was conversing in 
a pastoral way. The minister had said, " Weel, Margaret, I 
hope you're thoroughly ashamed of your sins^ Now, in 
Aberdeenshire sons are pronounced sins ; accordingly, to 
the minister's surprise, Margaret burst forth, " Ashamed o' 
ma sins ! na, na, I'm proud o' ma sins. Indeed, gin it 
were na for thae cutties o' dauchters, I should be ower 
proud o' ma sins." 

I have not had leisure to pursue, as I had intended, a 
further consideration of Scottish Dialect, and their 
differences from each other in the north, south, east, and 
west of Scotland. I merely remark now, that the dialect 
of one district is considered quite barbarous, and laughed 
at by the inhabitants of another district where a different 
form of language is adopted. I have spoken (p. 120) of the 
essential difference between Aberdeen and southern Scotch. 
An English gentleman had been visiting the Lord Provost 
of Edinburgh, and accompanied him to Aberdeen. His 
lordship of Edinburgh introduced his English friend to the 
Provost of Aberdeen, and they both attended a great dinner 
given by the latter. After grace had been said, the Provost 
kindly and hospitably addressed the company Aberdonice 
— " Now, gentlemen, fah tee, fah tee." The Englislmian 
whispered to his friend, and asked what was meant by 
'^ fah tee, fah tee ;" to which his lordship replied — " Hout, 
he canna speak — he means fau too, fan too." Thus one 
Scotticism was held in terror by those who used a different 
Scotticism : as at Inverary, the wife of the chief writer of 
the place, seeking to secure her guest from the taint of 
inferior society, intimated to him, but somewhat confiden 
tially, that Mrs. W. (the rival writer's wife) was quite a 
vulgar body, so much so as to ask any one leaving the 
room to " snih the door," instead of bidding them, as she 
triumphantly observed, " sneck the door." 

Any of my readers not much conversant wdth Aberdeen 
dialect will find the following a good specimen : — A lady 
who resided in Aberdeen being on a visit to some friends 



SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 125 

in tlie country, joined an excursion on horseback. Not being 
much of an equestrian, she was mounted upon a Highland 
pony as being the canniest haste. He, however, had a trick 
of standing still in crossing a stream. A burn had to be 
crossed — the rest of the party passed on, while " Paddy " 
remained, pretending to drink. Mss More, in great 
desperation, called out to one of her friends — " Bell, 'oman, 
turn back an gie me your bit fuppie, for the breet's stannin 
i' the peel wi' ma." 

There is no class of men which stands out more 
prominent in the reminiscences of the last hundred years 
than that of our Scottish Judges. They form, in many 
instances, a type or representative of the leading peculi- 
arities of Scottish life and manners. They are mixed up 
with all our affairs, social and political. There are to be 
found in the annals of the bench rich examples of pure 
Scottish humour, the strongest peculiarity of Scottish 
phraseology, acuteness of intellectj cutting ^\\i, eccentricity 
of manners, and abundant powers of conviviality. Their 
successors no longer furnish the same anecdotes of oddity 
or of intemperance. The Courts of the Scottish Parliament 
House, witliout lacking the learning or the law of those who 
sat there sixty years ago, lack not the refinement and the 
dignity that have long distinguished the Courts of West 
minster Hall. 

Stories still exist, traditionary in society, amongst its 
older members, regarding Lords Gardenstone, Monboddo, 
Hermand, Newton, Polkemmet, Braxfield, etc. But many 
younger persons do not know them. It may be interesting 
to some of my readers to devote a few pages to the subject, 
and to offer some judicial gleanings.* 

* I have derived some information from a curious book, 
** Kay's Portraits," 2 vols. The work is scarcely known in 
England, and is becoming scarce in Scotland. ** Nothing can 
be more valuable in the way of engraved portraits than these 
representations of the distinguished men who adorned Edinburgh 
ill the latter part of the eighteenth century." — Chambers. 



126 EEMINISCENCES OF 

I have two anecdotes to show that, both in social and 
judicial life, a remarkable change must have taken place 
amongst the " fifteen." I am assured that the following scene 
took place at the table of Lord Polkemmet, at a dinner party 
in his house. When the covers were removed, the dinner 
was seen to consist of veal broth, a roast fillet of veal, veal 
cutlets, a florentine (an excellent old Scottish dish com- 
posed of veal), a calf's head, caK's foot jelly. The worthy 
judge could not help observing a surprise on the counte- 
nance of his guests, and perhaps a simper on some ; so he 
broke out in explanation ; " Ou ay, it's a cauf ; when we 
kill a beast we just eat up ae side, and down the tither." 
The expressions he used to describe his own judicial pre- 
parations for the bench were very characteristic : " Ye see 
I first read a' the pleadings, and then, after letting them 
wamble in my wame wi' the toddy twa or three days, I 
gie my ain interlocutor." For a moment suppose such 
anecdotes to be told now of any of our high legal function- 
aries. Imagine the feelings of surprise that would be 
called forth were the present Justice-Clerk to adopt such 
imagery in describing the process of preparing his legal 
judgment on a difficult case in his court ! 

In regard to the wit of the Scottish hai\ — It is a subject 
which I do not pretend to illustrate. It would require a 
volmne for itself. One anecdote, however, I cannot resist, 
and I record it as forming a striking example of the class 
of Scottish humour which, with our dialect, has lost its 
distinctive characteristics. John Clerk (afterwards a judge 
by the title of Lord Eldin), was arguing a Scotch appeal 
case before the House of Lords. His client claimed the 
use of a mill-stream by a prescriptive right. Mr. Clerk 
spoke broad Scotch, and argued that " the waiter had rin 
that way for forty years. Indeed naebody kenned how 
long, and why should his client now be deprived of 
the watter ?" etc. The chancellor, much amused at the 
pronunciation of the Scottish advocate, in a rather bantering 
tone asked him, " Mr. Clerk, do you spell water in Scot- 



SCOTTISH LIFE d; CHARACTER, 127 

land with two f s ?" Clerk, a little nettled at this hit at 
his national tongue, answered " Na, my lord, we dinna spell 
watter (making the word as short as he could) wi' twa t's, 
but we spell mainners (making the word as long as he 
could) wi' twa n's." 

John Clerk's vernacular version of the motto of the 
Celtic Club is highly characteristic of his humour and his 
prejudice. He had a strong dislike to the whole Highland 
race, and the motto assumed by the modern Celts, ** Olim 
marte, nunc arte," Clerk translated " Formerly ruhhers, now 
thieves." Very dry and pithy too was his legal opinion 
given to a claimant of the Annandale peerage, who, when 
pressing the employment of some obvious forgeries, was 
warned that if he persevered, nae doot he might be a peer, 
but it would be a peer o' anither t7'ee I 

The following account of his conducting a case is also 
highly characteristic. Two individuals, the one a mason, 
the other a carpenter, both residenters in West Portsburgh, 
formed a copartnery, and commenced building houses 
within the boundaries of the burgh corporation. One of 
the partners was a freeman, the other not. The corpora- 
tion, considering its rights invaded by a non-freeman 
exercising privileges only accorded to one of their body, 
brought an action in the Court of Session against the 
interloper, and his partner as aiding and abetting. Mr. 
John Clerk, then an advocate, was engaged for the defend- 
ants. How the cause was decided matters little. What 
was really curious in the affair, was the naively di'oU 
manner in which the advocate for the defence opened his 
pleading before the Lord Ordinary. " My Lord," com- 
menced John, in his purest Doric, at the same time pushing 
up his spectacles to his brow and hitching his gown over his 
shoulders, " I wad hae thocht naething o't (the action), had 
hooses been a new invention, and my clients been caught 
ouvertly impingin' on the patent richts o' the inventors !" 

Of Lord Gardenstone (Francis Garden) I have many 
early personal reminiscences, as his property of Johnstone 



12S REMINISOENCES OF 

was in tlie Howe of tlie Mearns, not far from my early home. 
He was a man of energy, and promoted improvements in 
the county with skill and practical sagacity. His favourite 
scheme was to establish a flourishing town upon his pro- 
perty, and he spared no pains or expense in promoting the 
importance of his village of Laurencekirk. He built an 
excellent inn, to render it a stage for posting. He built 
and endowed an Episcopal chapel for the benefit of his 
English immigrants, in the vestry of which he placed a 
most respectable library ; and he encouraged manufacturers 
of all kinds to settle in the place. Amongst others a 
hatter came to reconnoitre, and ascertain its capabilities for 
exercising his calling. But w^hen, on going to public 
worship on Sunday after his arrival, he found only three 
hats in the kirk, viz., the minister's. Lord Gardenstone's, 
and his own — the rest of the congregation all wearing the 
old flat Lowland bonnet — he soon went off, convinced that 
Laurenceldrk was no place for hatters to thrive in. He 
was much taken up with his hotel or inn, and for which 
he provided a large volume for receiving the written con- 
tributions of travellers w^ho frequented it. It was the 
landlady's business to present this volume to the guests, 
and ask them to write in it, during the evenings, whatever 
occurred to their memory or their imagiaation. La the 
mornings it was a favourite amusement of Lord Gardenstone 
to look it over. I recollect Sir Walter Scott being much 
taken with this contrivance, and his asking me about it at 
Abbotsford. His son said to him, " You should establish 
such a book, sk, at Melrose ;" upon which Sir W. replied, 
" No, Walter, I should just have to see a great deal of 
abuse of myself." On his son deprecating such a result, 
and on his observing my surprised look, he answered, 
" Well, well, I should have to read a great deal of foolish 
praise, which is much the same thing." An amusing 
account is given of the cause of Lord Gardenstone withdraw- 
ing this -volume from the hotel, and of his determination 
to submit it no more to the tender mercies of the passing 



SCOTTISH LIFE dt CHARACTER. 129 

traveller. As Professor Stuart of Aberdeen was passing an 
evening at the inn, the volume was handed to him, and 
he wrote in it the following lines, in the style of the 
]3rophecies of Thomas the Ehymer : — 

" Frae sma' beginnings Kome of auld 
Became a great imperial city, 
*T was peopled first, as we are tauld, 
By bankrupts, vagabonds, banditti. 
Quoth Thamas, Then the day may come, 
AVhen Laurencekirk shall equal Rome." 

These lines so nettled Lord Gardenstone, that the volume 
disappeared, and was never seen afterwards in the inn of 
Laurencekirk. There is another lingering reminiscence 
which I retain connected with the inn at Laurencekii'k. 
The landlord, Mr. Cream, was a man well known through- 
out all the county, and was distinguished, in his later years, 
as one of the few men who continued to wear a pigtail. 
On one occasion the late Lord Dunmore (grandfather or 
great-grandfather of the present peer), who also still wore 
his queue, halted for a night at Laurencekirk. On the host 
leaving the room, where he had come to take orders for 
supper, Lord Dunmore turned to his valet and said, " John- 
stone, do I look as like a fool in my pigtail as Billy Cream 
does ?" — "Much about it, my lord," was the valet's imper- 
turbable answer. " Then," said his lordship, " cut off mine 
to-morrow morning when I dress." 

Lord Gardenstone seemed to have had two favourite 
tastes : he indulged in the love of pigs and the love of snuE 
He took a young pig as a pet, and it became quite tame, 
and followed him about like a dog. At first the animal 
shared his bed, but when, growing up to advanced swine- 
hood, it became unfit for such companionship, he had it to 
sleep in his room, in which he made a comfortable couch 
for it of his own clothes. His snuff he kept not in a box, 
but in a leathern waist-pocket made for the purpose. He 
took it in enormous quantities, and used to say that if he 



130 REMINISCENCES OF 

had a dozen noses lie would feed them all. Lord Garden- 
stone died 1793. 

Lord Monboddo (James Burnet, Esq. of Monhoddo) is 
another of the well-known members of the Scottish Bench, 
who combined, with many eccentricities of opinion and 
habits, great learning and a most amiable disposition. From 
his paternal property being in the county of Kincardine, 
and Lord M. being a visitor at my father's house, and 
indeed a relation or clansman, I have many early remi- 
niscences of stories which I have heard of the learned judge. 
His speculations regarding the origin of the human race 
have, in times past, excited much interest and amusement. 
His theory was that man emerged from a wild and savage 
condition, much resembling that of apes ; that man had 
then a tail like other animals, but which, by progressive 
civilization and the constant habit of sitting, had become 
obsolete. This theory produced many a joke from facetious 
and superficial people, who had never read any of the 
arguments of an elaborate work, by which the ingenious 
and learned author maintained his theory.* Lord Kames, a 
brother judge, had his joke on it. On some occasion of their 
meeting. Lord Monboddo was for giving Lord Kames the 
precedency. Lord K. declined, and drew back, saying, " By 
no means, my lord ; you must walk first, that I may see 
your taiir I recollect Lord Monboddo's coming to dine at 
Fasque caused a great excitement of interest and curiosity. 
I was in the nursery, too young to take part in the investi- 
gations ; but my elder brothers were on the alert to watch 
his arrival, and get a glimpse of his tail. Lord M. was 
really a learned man, read Greek and Latin authors — not 
as a mere exercise of classical scholarship — but because he 
identified himself with their philosophical opinions, and 
would have revived Greek customs and modes of life. He 
used to give suppers after the manner of the ancients, and 
used to astonish his guests by the ancient cookery of 

* Origin and Progress of Language. 



SCOTTISH LIFE <(; CHARACTER, 131 

Spartan broth, and of mulsum. He was an enthiisiastical 
Platonist. On a visit to Oxford, lie was received with great 
respect by the scholars of the University, who were much 
interested in meeting with one who had studied Plato, as a 
pupil and follower. In accordance with the old custom at 
learned universities, Lord Monboddo was determined to 
address the Oxonians in Latin, which he spoke with much 
readiness. But they could not stand the numerous slips 
in prosody. Lord Monboddo shocked the ears of the men 
of Eton and of Winchester by dreadful false quantities — 
verse-making being, in Scotland, then quite neglected, 
and a matter little thought of by the learned judge. 

Lord Monboddo was considered an able lawyer, and on 
many occasions exhibited a very clear and correct judicial 
discernment of intricate cases. It was one of his peculi- 
arities that he never sat on the bench with his brother 
judges, but always at the clerk's table. Different reasons 
for this practice have been given, but the simple fact seems 
to have been, that he was deaf, and heard better at the 
lower seat. His mode of travelling was on horseback. He 
scorned carriages, on the ground of its being unmanly to 
" sit in a box drawn by brutes." When he went to London 
he rode the whole way. At the same period, ^Ir. Barclay of 
Ury (father of the well-known Captain Barclay), when he 
represented Kincardineshire in Parliament, always walked to 
London. He was a very powerful man, and could walk 
fifty miles a day, his usual refreshment on the road being 
a bottle of port wine, poured into a bowl, and drunk off at 
a draught. I have heard that George III. was much 
interested at these performances, and said, " I ought to be 
proud of my Scottish subjects, when my judges ride, and 
my members of Parliament walk to the metropolis." 

On one occasion of his being in London, Lord Mon- 
boddo attended a trial in the Court of King's Bench. A 
cry was heard that the roof of the court-room was giving 
way, upon which judges, lawyers, and people made a rush 
to get to the door. Lord Monboddo viewed the scene from 



1S2 REMINISCENCES OF 

his comer with mucli composure. Being deaf and short- 
sighted, he knew nothing of the cause of the tumult. The 
alarm proved a false one ; and on being asked why he had 
not bestirred himself to escape like the rest, he coolly 
answered that he supposed it was an annual ceremony with 
which, as an alien to the English laws, he had no concern, 
but which he considered it interesting to witness as a rem- 
nant of antiquity 1 Lord Monboddo died 1799. 

Lord Eockville (the Hon. Alexander Gordon, third son 
of the Earl of Aberdeen) was a judge distinguished in his 
day by his ability and decorum. " He adorned the bench 
by the dignified manliness of his appearance, and polished 
urbanity of his manners." * Like most lawyers of his time, 
he took his glass freely, and a whimsical account which he 
gave, before he was advanced to the bench, of his having 
fallen upon his face, after making too free with the bottle, 
was commonly current at the time. Upon his appearing 
late at a con^dvial club with a most rueful expression of 
countenance, and on being asked what vras the matter, he 
exclaimed with great solemnity, " Gentlemen, I have just 
met with the most extraordinary adventure that ever oc- 
curred to a human being. As I was walking along the 
Grassmarket, all of a sudden the street rose up and struck 
me on the facer He had, however, a more serious encounter 
with the street after he was a judge. Li 1792, his foot 
slipped as he was going to the Parliament House ; he broke 
his leg, was taken home, fevered, and died. 

Lord Braxfield (Robert McQueen of Braxfield) was one 
of the judges of the old school, well known in his day, and 
might be said to possess all the quaKties united, by which 
the class were remarkable. He spoke the broadest Scotch. 
He was a sound and laborious lawyer. He was fond of a 
glass of good claret, and had a great fund of good Scotch 
h^imour. He rose to the dignity of Justice-Clerk, and, in 
consequence, presided at many important political criminal 

* Douglas' Peerage, vol. i., p. 22. 



SCOTTISH LIFE d: CHARACTER. 133 

trials about the year 1793-4, sucli as those of Muir, Palmer, 
Skirving, Margarot, Gerrold, etc. He conducted these trials 
with much ability and great firmness, occasionally, no doubt, 
with more appearance of severity and personal prejudice 
than is usual with the judges who in later times are called 
on to preside on similar occasions. The disturbed temper 
of the times and the daring spirit of the political offenders 
seemed, he thought, to call for a bold and fearless front on 
the part of the judge, and Braxfield was the man to show 
it, both on the bench and in common life. He met, how- 
ever, sometimes with a spirit as bold as his own from the 
prisoners before him. When Skirving was on trial for 
sedition he thought Braxfield was threatening him, and by 
gesture endeavouring to intimidate him ; accordingly, he 
boldly addressed the bench : — " It is altogether unavailing 
for your Lordship to menace me, for I have long learnt not 
to fear the face of man." I have observed that he adhered 
to the broadest Scottish dialect. ^^ Hae ye ony coonsel, 
man ?" he said to Maurice Margarot (who, I believe, was an 
Englishman). " No," was the reply. " Div ye want to hae 
ony appinted ?" " No," replied Margarot ; " I only want an 
interpreter to make me understand what your Lordship 
says." Braxfield had much humour, and enjoyed wit in 
others. He was immensely delighted at a reply by Dr. 
M^Cubbin, the minister of Bothwell. Braxfield, when 
Justice-Clerk, was dining at Lord Douglas', and observed 
there was only port upon the table. In his usual off-hand 
brusque manner, he demanded of the noble host if " there 
was nae "claret i' the castle." " Yes," said Lord Douglas ; 
" but my butler tells me it is not good." " Let's pree't," 
said Braxfield in his favourite dialect. A bottle was pro- 
duced, and declared by all present to be quite excellent. 
^' Noo, minister," said the old judge, addressing Dr.M'Cubbin, 
who was celebrated as a wit in his day, " as a faraa clamosa 
has gone forth against this wine, I propose that you absolve 
it," — playing upon the terms made use of in the Scottish 
Church Courts. " Ay, my Lord," said the minister, " you 



134 REMINISCENCES OF 

are first-rate authority for a case of civil or criminal law 
but you do not quite understand our Churcli Court practice 
We never absolve till after three several appearances.^^ The 
wit and the condition of absolution were alike reKshed by 
the judge. Lord Braxfield closed a long and useful life in 
1799. 

Of Lord Hermand we have spoken on several occasions, 
and his name has become in some manner identified with 
that conviviality which marked almost as a characteristic 
the Scottish bench of his time. He gained, however, great 
distinction as a judge, and was a capital lawyer. When at 
the bar, Lords Newton and Hermand were great friends, 
and many were the convivial meetings they enjoyed together. 
But Lord Hermand outlived all his old last-century con- 
temporaries, and formed with Lord Balgray what we may 
consider the connecting links between the past and the 
present race of Scottish lawyers. 

We could scarcely perhaps offer a more marked differ- 
ence between habits once tolerated on the bench and those 
which now distinguish the august seat of senators of justice 
than by quoting, from Kay's Portraits, vol. ii., p. 278, a 
sally of a Lord of Session of those days, which he played 
off, when sitting as judge, upon a young friend whom he 
was determined to frighten. " On one occasion, a young 
counsel was addressing him on some not very important 
point that had arisen in the division of a common (or com- 
monty, according to law phraseology), when having made 
some bold averment, the judge exclaimed, ' That's a lee, 
Jemmie.' 'My lord !' ejaculated the amazed barrister. 
' Ay, ay, Jemmie ; I see by your face ye're leein'.' * Indeed, 
my lord, I am not.' ' Dinna tell me that ; it's no in 
your memorial (brief) — awa wi' you ;' and, overcome 
with astonishment and vexation, the discomfited barrister 
left the bar. The judge thereupon chuckled with infinite 
delight ; and beckoning to the clerk who attended on the 

occasion, he said, ' Are ye no Rabbie H 's man V * Yes, 

my lord.' 'Was na Jemmie leeni'?' 'Oh no, my 



SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER, 136 

lord. * Fe're quite sure?* ^ Oh yes.* ^Tlien just write 
out what you want, and I'll sign it ; my faith, but I made 
Jemmie stare.' So the decision was dictated by the clerk, 
and duly signed by the judge, who left the bench highly 
diverted with the fright he had given his young friend." 
Such scenes enacted in Court now would astonish the pre- 
sent generation, both of lawyers and of suitors. 

Under this head of Scottish dialect, language, and 
phraseology, we naturally introduce some notice of that most 
interesting subject connected with our national literature 
which belongs to Scottish proverbial expressions. It is 
an old remark, that the characteristics of a people are 
always found in such sayings, and the expression of Bacon 
has been often quoted — " The genius, wit, and wisdom of 
a nation are discovered by their proverbs.** Now, as there 
can be no doubt that there are proverbs exclusively Scottish, 
and that as in them we find also many traits of Scottish 
character, and many peculiar forms of Scottish thought and 
Scottish language, sayings of this kind, once so familiar, 
should have a place in our Scottish reminiscences. Indeed, 
proverbs are literally, in many instances, become remi- 
mscences. They now seem to belong to that older genera- 
tion whom we recollect, and who used them in conversation 
freely and constantly. To strengthen an argument or 
illustrate a remark by a proverb, was then a common 
practice in conversation. Their use, however, is now con- 
sidered vulgar, and their formal application is almost 
prohibited by the rules of polite society. Lord Chesterfield 
denounced the practice of quoting proverbs as a palpable 
\dolation of all polite refinement in conversation. Notwith- 
standing all this, we acknowledge having much pleasure in 
recalling our national proverbial expressions. They are 
full of character, and we find amongst them important 
truths, expressed forcibly, wisely, and gracefully. 

All nations have their proverbs, and a vast number of 
books have been written on the subject. We find, accord- 
ingly, that collections have been made of proverbs con- 



1S6 EEMINISCENCES OF 

Biclered as belonging peculiarly to Scotland. The coUectionfi 
to which I have had access are the following : — 

1. The fifth edition, by BaKonr, of " Eay's Complete 
Collection of English Proverbs," in which is a separate 
collection of those which are considered Scottish Proverbs — 
1813. Kay professes to have taken these from Fergiisson s 
work mentioned below. 

2. A Complete Collection of Scottish Proverbs explained 
and made intelligible to the English reader, by James 
Kelly, MA., published in London 1721. 

3. Scottish Proverbs gathered together by David Fer- 
gusson, sometime minister at Diimfermline, and put ordine 
alphabetico when he departed this life anno 1598. Edin- 
burgh, 1641. 

4. A collection of Scots Proverbs, dedicated to the 
Tenantry of Scotland, by Allan Ramsay. This collection is 
found in the edition of his Poetical Works, 3 vols, post 
octavo, Edin. 1818, but is not in the handsome edition of 
1800. London, 2 vols. 8vo.* 

5. Scottish Proverbs, collected and arranged by Andrew 
Henderson. With an introductory Essay by W. Motherwell. 
Edin. 1832. 

6. The Proverbial Philosophy of Scotland, an address 
to the School of Arts, by William StirHng of Keir, M.P. 
Stirling and Edin. 1855. 

The collection of Ray, the great English naturalist, is 
well known. The two first editions, published at Cam- 
bridge in 1670 and 1678, were by the author ; subsequent 
editions were by other editors. 

The work by James Kelly professes to collect Scottish 
Proverbs only. It is a volume of nearly 400 pages, and 
contains a short explanation or commentary attached to 

* This was pointed out to me by the late Sir John Melville, 
who kindly supplied me with the three volimie edition. 



SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 137 

each, and often parallel sayings from other languages.* 
Mr. Kelly bears ample testimony to the extraordinary free 
use made of proverbs in his time by his countrymen and 
by himself. He says that " there were current in society 
upwards of 3000 proverbs, exclusively Scottish." He adds, 
" the Scots are wonderfully given to this way of speaking, 
and as the consequence of that, abound with proverbs, 
many of which are very expressive, quick, and home to the 
purpose ; and, indeed, this humour prevails universally over 
the whole nation, especially among the better sort of the 
commonalty, none of whom will discourse with you any 
considerable time, but he will affirm every assertion and 
observation with a Scottish proverb. To that nation I owe 
my birth and education ; and to that manner of speaking 
I was used from my infancy, to such a degree that I became 
in some measure remarkable for it." This was written in 
1721, and we may see from Mr. Kelly's account what a 
change has taken place in society as regards this mode of 
intercourse. Our author states that he has " omitted in his 
collection many popular proverbs which are very pat and 
expressive," and adds as his reason, that "since it does not 
become a man of manners to use them, it does not become 
a man of my age and profession to write them." What was 
;Mr. Kelly's profession or what his age does not appear from 
any statements in this volume ; but, judging by many 
proverbs which he has retained, those which consideration 
of years and of profession induced him to omit, must have 
been bad indeed, and unbecoming for any age or any pro- 
fession.t The third collection by Mr. Fergusson is men- 
tioned by Kelly as the only one which had been made 

* Amongst many acts of kindness and essential assistance 
which I have received and am constantly receiving from my 
friend Mr. Hugh James Rollo, I owe my introduction to this 
interesting Scottish volume, now I believe rather scarce. 

f Kelly's book is constantly quoted by Jamieson, and is. 
indeed, an excellent work for the study of good old Scotch. 



138 REMINISCENCES OF 

before Ms time, and that he had not met with it till he had 
made considerable progress in his own collection. The book 
is now extremely rare, and fetches a high price. By the 
great kindness of the learned librarian, I have been per- 
mitted to see the copy belonging to the library of the 
Writers to the Signet. It is the first edition, and very rare. 
A quaint little thin volume, such as delight the eyes of 
true bibliomaniacs, unpaged, and published at Edinburgh, 
1641 — although on the title-page the proverbs are said to 
have been collected at Mr. Fergusson's death, 1598.* 
There is no preface or notice by the author, but an address 
from the printer, "to the merrie, judicious, and discreet 
reader." 

The proverbs, amounting to 945, are given without 
any comment or explanation ; many of them are of a very 
antique cast of language ; indeed some would be to most 
persons quite unintelligible without a lexicon. 

The printer, in his address, "to the merrie, judicious, 
and discreet reader," refers in the following quaint ex- 
pressions to the author : — " Therefore manie in this realme 
that hath hard of David Fergusson, sometime minister at 
Dunfermline, and of his quick answers and speeches, both 
to great persons and others inferiours, and hath heard of 
his proverbs which hee gathered together in his time, and 
now we put downe according to the order of the alphabet ; 
and manie of all ranks of persons, being verie desirous to 
have the said proverbs, I have thought good to put them to 
the presse for thy better satisfaction. ... I know that 
there may be some that will say and marvell that a minister 
should have taken pains to gather such proverbs together ; 
but they that knew his forme of powerfull preaching 
the word, and his ordinar talking, ever almost using pro- 
verbiall speeches, will not finde fault with this that hee 
hath done. And whereas there are some old Scottish 

* This probably throws back the collection to about the 
middle of the century. 



SCOTTISH LIFE Jc CHARACTER, 139 

words not in use now, bear witli that, because if ye alter 
those words, the proverb will have no grace ; and so, recom- 
mending these proverbs to thy good use, I bid thee farewell." 

I now subjoin a few of Fergusson's Proverbs, verbatim, 
which are of a more obsolete character, and have appended 
explanations, of the correctness of which, however, I am not 
quite confident : — 

A year a nurish^ seven year a da'!' Refers, I presume, 
to fulfilling the maternal office 

Anes payit never cravit. Debts once paid give no more 
trouble. 

All wald^ have all, all wald forgieA Those who exact 
much should be ready to concede. 

A gangang^ Jit^ is aye"^ gettin {gin^ it were hut a thorn), 
or, as it sometimes runs, gin it were hut a hroken tae, i, e., 
toe. A man of industry wiU certainly get a living ; though 
the proverb is often applied to those who went abroad 
and got a mischief when they might safely have stayed at 
home — (Kelly). 

All crakes^ all hears}^ Spoken against bullies who kept 
a great hectoring, and yet, when put to it, tamely pocket an 
affront— (KeUy). 

Boui^d^^ not wV hawtie^^ {lest he hite you). Do not jest 
too familiarly with your superiors (Kelly), or with danger- 
ous characters. 

Bread^s house skailed never }^ While people have bread 
they need not give up housekeeping. Spoken when one 
has bread and wishes something better — (Kelly). 

Crahbit^* was and cause had. Spoken ironically of 
persons put out of temper without adequate cause. 

Dame, deem^^ warily ye {watna^^ wha wytes^"^ yerselT), — 

1 Nurse. ^ Daw, a slut. ^ Would. * Forgive. ^ Going or 
moving. ^ Foot. ^ Always. ® If. ^ Boasters. 

*® Used as cowards (?) ^^ Jest ^^ A dog's name. ^® To 

skail house, to disfumish. ^* Being angry or cross. ^* Judge. 
^® Know not. " Blames. 



140 REMINISCENCES OF 

Spoken to remind those wlio pass harsh censures on others 
that they may themselves be censured. 

Efter lung mint^ never dint? Spoken of long and 
painful labour producing little effect. Kelly's reading is 
" Lang mint little dintP Spoken when men threaten much 
and dare not execute — (Kelly). 

Fill fou^ and haud^ fou mals a stai^k^ man. In Border 
language a stark man was one who takes and keeps boldly. 

He that crahhs^ without cause should mease'' without 
mends? Spoken to remind those who are angry without 
cause, that they should not be particular in requiiing 
apologies from others. 

He is worth na weill that may not hide na wae. He 
deserves not the sweet that will not taste the sour. He 
does not deserve prosperity who cannot meet adversity. 

Kame^ sindle'^^ kame sair}^ Applied to those who 
forbear for a while, but when once roused can act mth 
severity. 

Kamesters^'^ are aye creeshie}^ It is usual for men to 
look like their trade. 

Let alane maks mony lurden}^ Want of correction 
makes many a bad boy — (Kelly). 

Mony tynes^^ the half mark^^ whinger ^"^ (for the halfe 
'pennie whang). Another version of penny wise and pound 
foolish. 

Na plie^^ is best, 

1 To aim at. ^ ^ stroke. « Full. * Hold. * Potent or 

strong. ^ Is angry. ^ Settle. ® Amends. ^ Comb. 

^° Seldom. " Painfully. ^^ Wool combers. ^^ Greasy. 

Worthless fellow. ^ Loses. ^^ Sixpenny. 

^"^ A sort of dagger or hanger which seems to have been used 

both at meals as a knife and in broils — 

** And whingers now in friendship bare, 
The social meal to part and share. 

Had found a bloody sheath." — Lay of the Last MivMrel. 
'^ Thong. ^ No la-/suit. 



SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 141 

Reavers ^ should not he rewers? Those who are so fond 
of a thing as to snap at it, should not repent whep. they 
have got it — (Kelly). 

Sokand seill is best. The interpretation of this proverb 
is not obvious, and later writers do not appear to have 
adopted it from Fergusson. It is quite clear that Sok or 
Sock is the ploughshare. SeiL is happiness, as in Kelly. 
" SeO. comes not till sorrow be o'er ;" and in Aberdeen 
they say, " Seil o' your face," to express a blessing. 
My reading is " the plough and happiness the best lot." 
The happiest life is the healthy country one. See Robert 
Buins' sphited song with the chorus — 

** Up wi' my ploughman lad, 

And hey my merry ploughman ; 
Of a' the trades that I do ken, 
Commend me to the ploughman." 

A somewhat different reading of this very obscure and now 
indeed obsolete proverb has been suggested by an esteemed 
and learned friend — " I should say rather it meant that the 
ploughshare, or country life, accompanied with good luck or 
fortune, was best ; u e.y that industry coupled with good 
fortune (good seasons and the like) was the combination 
that was most to be desired. Seel in Anglo-Saxon as a 
noun means ojp'portunity ^ and then good luck, happiness, 
etc. 

Theris mae^ madmes^ nor mahines.^ Girls are more 
plentiful in the world than hares. 

Ye hried^ of the gouk^ ye have not a rhyrae^ hut ane, 
Apjjlied to persons who tire everybody by constantly harp- 
ing on one subject. 

The collection by Allan Ramsay is very good, and pro- 
fesses to correct the errors of former collectors. 1 have now 
before me the jirst edition^ Edinburgh, 1737, with the 

^ Kohbers. ' Rue, to repent. ^ IMore. * Maidens. 

* Hares. « Take after. ^ Cuckoo. ^ ^^r^^^^ 



142 REMINISCENCES OF 

appropriate motto on the title-page, " Tliat maun be true 
that a' men say." This edition contains proverbs only, the 
number being 2464. Some proverbs in this collection I 
do not find in others, and one quality it possesses in a re- 
markable degree — it is very Scotch. The language of the 
proverbial wisdom has the true Scottish flavour ; not only 
is this the case wdth the proverbs themselves, but the dedi- 
cation to the tenantry of Scotland, prefixed to the collection, 
is written in pure Scottish dialect. From this dedication 
I make an extract, which falls in with our plan of recording 
Scotch reminiscences, as Allan Ramsay there states the 
great value set upon proverbs in his day, and the great im- 
portance which he attaches to them as teachers of moral 
wisdom, and as combining amusement with instruction. 
The prose of Allan Eamsay has, too, a spice of his poetry 
in its composition. His dedication is. To the tenantry of 
Scotland, farmers of the dales, and storemasters of the 
hills— 

" Worthy friends — The following hoard of wise sayings 
and observations of our forefathers, which have been 
gathering through mony bygane ages, I have collected with 
great care, and restored to their proper sense. . . . 

" As naething helps our happiness mair than to have 
the miud made up wi' right principles, I desire you, for 
the thri\ing and pleasure of you and yours, to use your 
een and lend your lugs to these guid auld saws, that shine 
wi' wail'd sense, and will as lang as the world wags. Gar 
your bairns get them by heart ; let them have a place 
among your family-books, and may never a window-sole 
through the coimtry be without them. On a spare hour, 
when the day is clear, behind a ruck, or on the green 
howTU, draw the treasure frae your pouch, an' enjoy the 
pleasant companion. Ye happy herds, while your hirdsell 
are feeding on the flowery braes, you may eithly make 
yoursells master of the haleware. How usefou' will it 
prove to you (wha hae sae few opportunities of common 
clattering) when ye fergather wi' your friends at kirk or 



S^nOTTISE LIFE <k CHARACTER. 143 

market, banquet or bridal ! By your proficiency you'll be 
able, in tbe proverbial way, to keep up the saul of a con- 
versation that is baith blyth an usefou'." 

Mr. Henderson's work is a compilation from those 
already mentioned. It is very copious, and the introduce 
tory essay contains some excellent remarks upon the 
wisdom and wit of Scottish proverbial sayings. 

Mr. Stirling's address, like everything he writes, indi- 
cates a minute and profound knowledge of his subject, and 
is full of picturesque and just views of human nature. He 
attaches much importance to the teaching conveyed in pro- 
verbial expressions, and recommends his readers even still 
to collect such proverbial expressions as may yet linger in 
conversation, because, as he observes, " If it is not yet 
registered, it is possible that it might have died with the 
tongue from which you took it, and so have been lost for 
ever." " I believe," he adds, " the number of good old saws 
still floating as waifs and strays on the tide of popular talk 
to be much greater than might at first appear." 

One remark is applicable to all these collections, viz., 
that out of so large a number there are many of them on 
which we have little grounds for deciding that they are 
exclusively Scottish. In fact, some are mere translations of 
proverbs adopted by many nations ; some of universal 
adoption. Thus we have — 

A burnt haim fire dreads. 

Ae sicallow makes nae simmer 

Faint heart neer wan fair lady, 

m weeds wax weel. 

Mony smas mak a muckle, 

O* twa ills chuse the least. 

Set a knave to grip a knave. 

TvM wits are better than ane. 

There! s nae fule to an auld fule. 

Ye canna mak a silk purse o' a sou^s lug. 

Ae bird H the hand is worth twa jleeing^ 

Many cooks neer made gude kail. 



lU REMINISCE2<^0E8 OF 

Of numerous proverbs such, as these, some may or maj 
not be original in the Scottish. Mr Stirling remarks, that 
many of the best and oldest proverbs may be common to 
all people — may have occurred to all. In our national 
collections, therefore, some of the proverbs recorded may be 
simply translations into Scotch of what have been long 
considered the property of other nations. Still, I hope, it 
is not a mere national partiality to say that many of the 
common proverbs gain much by such translation from 
other tongues. All that I would attempt now is, to select 
some of our more popular proverbial sayings, which many 
of us can remember as current amongst us, and were much 
used by the late generation in society, and to add a few 
from the collections I have named, which bear a very 
decided Scottish stamp either in turn of thought or in turn 
of language. 

I remember being much, struck the first time I heard 
the application of that pretty Scottish saying regarding a 
fair bride. I was walking in Montrose, a day or two 
before her marriage, with a young lady a connection of 
mine, who merited this description, when she was kindly 
accosted by an old friend, an honest fishwife of the towm, 
" Weel, Miss Elizabeth, hae ye gotten a' yer claes ready V 
to which the young lady modestly answered, " Oh, Janet, 
my claes are soon got ready;" and Janet replied, in the 
old Scottish proverb, " Ay, weel, a honny hride's sune 
hushitT^ In the old collection, an addition less sentimental . 
is made to this proverb, A short horse is sune wispit? 

To encourage strenuous exertions to meet difficult cir- 
cumstances, is well expressed by Setting a stout heart to a 
stey hrae. This mode of expressing that the worth of a 
handsome woman outweighs even her beauty, has a very 
Scottish character — SMs better than she's honny. The 
opposite of this was expressed by a Highlander of his own 



Attired. * Curried. 



SCOTTISH LIFE <& CHARACTER, 1<15 

wife, when he somewhat ungrammatically said of her, 
'*" She^s bonnier than she^s better r 

The frequent evil to harvest operations from autumnal 
rains and fogs in Scotland is well told in the saying, A dry 
summer ne^er made a dear peck. 

There can be no question as to country in the following, 
which seems to express generally that persons may have 
the name and appearance of greatness without the reality 
— A^ Stuarts are na sib ^ to the king. 

There is an excellent Scottish version of the common 
proverb, " He that's born to be hanged will never bo 
drowned." — The water will never warr'^ the widdie, i.e.y 
never cheat the gallows. This saying received a very 
naive practical application during the anxiety and alarm 
of a storm. One of the passengers, a good simple-minded 
minister, was sharing the alarm that was felt round him, 
until spying one of his parishioners, of whose ignominious 
end he had long felt persuaded, exclaimed to himself, " Oh, 
we are all safe now," and accordingly accosted the poor 
man with strong assurances of the great pleasure he had in 
seeing him on board. 

It^s ill getting the breeks aff the Highlandman is a 
proverb that savours very strong of a Lowland Scotch 
origin. Having suffered loss at the bauds of their neigh- 
bours from the hills, this was a mode of expressing the 
painful truth, that there was little hope of obtaining redress 
from those who had not the means of supplying it. 

Proverbs coimected with the bag-pipes I set down as 
legitimate Scotch, as thus, Te are as lang in tuning your 
'pipes as anither wad play a spring? You are as long a 
setting about a thing as another would be in doing it. 

There is a set of Scottish proverbs which we may 
group together as containing one quality in common, and 
that in reference to the Evil Spirit, and to his agency in 
the world. This is a reference often, I fear, too lightly 

* Related. « Outrun. * Tune. 

L 



146 REMINISCENCES OF 

made ; but I am not conscious of any tiling deliberately 
profane or irreverent in the following : — 

The deiVs nae sae ill as he^s caaed. The most of people 
may be found to have some redeeming good point : applied 
in " Guy Mannering " by the Deacon to Gilbert Glossin, 
upon his intimating his intention to come to his shop soon 
for the purpose of laying in his winter stock of groceries. 

To the same effect, Ifs a sin to lee on the deil. Even 
of the worst people, truth at least should be spoken. 

He should hae a lang shafted spune that sups kail xoiJ 
the deil. He should be well guarded and well protected 
that has to do with cunning and unprincipled men. 

Lang ere the deil dee hy the dyke-side. Spoken w^hen 
the improbable death of some powerful and ill-disposed 
person is talked of. 

Let ae deil ding anither. Spoken when two bad 
persons are at variance over some evil work. 

The deiVs hairns hae deiVs luck. Spoken enviously 
when ill people prosper. 

The deiVs a husy bishop in his ain diocie. Bad men 
are sure to be active in promoting their o^m bad ends. A 
quaint proverb of this class I have been told of as coming 
from the reminiscences of an old lady of quality, to recom- 
mend a courteous manner to every one : Ifs aye gude to he 
ceevily as the auld wife said when she heckit^ to the deevil. 

Raise nae mair deils than ye are able to lay. Provoke 
no strifes which ye may be unable to appease. 

The deiVs aye gude to his ain, A malicious proverb, 
spoken as if those whom we disparage were deriving their 
success from bad causes. 

Te wad do little for God an the deevil was dead. A 
sarcastic mode of telling a person that fear, rather than love 
or principle, is the motive to his good conduct. 

In the old collection already referred to is a proverb 
which I quote unwillingly, and yet which I do not like to 

^ Curtsied. 



SCOTTISH LIFE d^ CHARAOTER, 147 

omit. It is doubtful against whom it took its origin, 
whether as a satire against the decanal order in general, or 
against some obnoxious dean in particular : The Deil an the 
Bean begin W ae letter. When the Deil has the Dean the 
kirk will he the better. 

The deiVs gane ower Jock Wabster, is a saying which 
I have been accustomed to in my part of the country from 
early years. It expresses generally misfortune or confusion, 
but I am not quite sure of the exact meaning, or who is 
represented by Jock Wabster. It was a great favourite with 
Sir Walter Scott, who quotes it twice in Rob Roy. Allan 
Ramsay introduces it in the Gentle Shepherd to express the 
misery of married life when the first dream of love has 
passed away : 

** The * Deil gaes ower Jock Wabster/ hame grows heU, 
When Pate misca's ye waur than tongue can tell. " 

There are two very pithy Scottish proverbial expressions 
for describing the case of young women losing their chance 
of good marriages, by setting their aims too high. Thus an 
old lady, speaking of her granddaughter having made what 
she considered a poor match, described her as having "lookit 
at the moon, and lichtit^ in the midden." 

It is recorded again of a celebrated beauty, Becky Mon- 
teith, that being asked how she had not made a good 
marriage, having replied, " Ye see, I wadna hae the walkers, 
and the riders gaed by." 

It's ill to wauken sleeping dogs. It is a bad policy to 
rouse dangerous and mischievous people, who are for the 
present quiet 

It is nae mair pity to see a woman greit than to see a 
goose go barejlt, A harsh and ungallant reference to the 
facility with which the softer sex can avail themselves of 
tears to carry a point. 

A Scots mist will weet an Englishman to the skin, A 

» FeU. 



148 REMINISCENCES OF 

proverb, evidently of Caledonian origin, arising from the 
frequent complaints made by English visitors of the heavy 
mists which hang about our hills, and which are found to 
annoy the southern traveller as it were downright rain. 

Keep your ain fish guts to your^ ain sea maws. This was 
a favourite proverb with Sir Walter Scott when he meant 
to express the policy of first considering the interests that 
are nearest home. The saying savours of the fishing popu- 
lation of the east coast. 

A Yule feast may he done at Pasch, Festivities 
although usually practised at Christmas, need not, on suit- 
able occasions, be confined to any season. 

Ifs better to sup wC a cutty than want a spune. Cutty 
means anything short, stumpy, and not of full growth ; 
frequently applied to a short-handled horn spoon. As Meg 
Merrilees says to the bewildered Dominie, " If ye dinna eat 
instantly, by the bread and salt, I'll put it down your throat 
wi' the cutty spuneP 

" Fules mak feasts and wise men eat Vm, my Lord." 
This was said to a Scottish nobleman on his giving a great 
entertainment, and who readily answered, " Ay, and Wise 
men make proverbs and fools repeat 'em." 

A green Yule^ and a white Pays^ mak a fat kirk-yard, 
A very coarse proverb, but may express a general truth as 
regards the effects of season on the human frame. Another 
of a similar character is. An air^ winter maks a sair^ winter, 

Wha will bell the cat F The proverb is used in refer- 
ence to a proposal for accomplishing a difficult or dangerous 
task, and alludes to the fable of the poor mice proposing to 
put a bell about the cat's neck, that they might be apprised 
of his coming. The historical application is well known. 
When the nobles of Scotland proposed to go in a body to 
Stirling to take Cochrane, the favourite of James the Third, 
and hang him, the Lord Gray asked, " It is well said, but 
wha will bell the cat ?" The Earl of Angus accepted the 

^ Christmas. * Pasch or easter. * Early. * Severe. 



SCOTTISH LIFE & CHAEACTER, 149 

challenge, and effected the object. To his dying day he 
was called Archibald Bell-the-Cat. 

Ye hae tint the tongue o' the trump, " Trump " is a Jew's 
harp. To lose the tongud of it is to lose what is essential 
to its sound. 

Meat and mass hinders nae man. Needful food, and 
suitable religious exercises, should not be spared under 
greatest haste. 

Ye fand it whar the highlandman fand the tangs (^. e., 
at the fireside). A hit at our mountain neighbours, who 
occasionally took from the Lowlands — as having fomid 
— something that was never lost 

His head will ne^erfill his father^ s bonnet, A picturesque 
way of expressing that the son will never equal the influ- 
ence and ability of his sire. 

His hark is waur nor his bite, A good-natured apology 
for one who is good-hearted and rough in speech. 

Do as the cow of Forfar did, tak a standing drink. 
This proverb relates to an occurrence which gave rise to a 
lawsuit and a whimsical legal decision. A woman in For- 
far, who was breTving, set out her tub of beer to cool. A 
cow came by and drank it up. The owner of the cow was 
sued for compensation, but the bailies of Forfar, who tried 
the case, acquitted the owner of the cow, on the ground that 
the farewell driuk, called in the Highlands the dochan doris,^ 
or stirrup cup, taken by the guest standing at the door, was 
never charged ; and as the cow had taken but a standing 
drink outside, it could not, according to the Scottish usage, 
be chargeable. Sir Walter Scott has humorously alluded 
to this circumstance in the notes to Waverley, but has not 
mentioned it as the subject of an old Scotch proverb. 

Bannocks are better nor nae kind o' bread. Evidently 



* The proper orthography of this expression is deoch-an- 
doruis (or dorais). Deochy a drink ; an^ of the ; doruis or dorai^, 
possp-ssive case of donis or doras, a door. 



150 REMINISCENCES OF 

Scottish.. Better liave oatmeal cakes to eat than be in want 
of wlieaten loaves. 

Folly is a honny dog. Meaning, I suppose, that many 
are imposed upon by the false appearances and attractions 
of vicious pleasures. 

The evening brings cH hame, is an interesting sa}T.ng, 
meaning, that the evening of life, or the approach of death, 
softens many of our political and religious differences. I 
do not find this proverb in the older collections, but Mr. 
Stirling justly calls it " a beautiful proverb, which, lending 
itself to various uses, may be taken as an expression of faith 
in the gradual growth and spread of large-hearted Christian 
charity, the noblest result of our happy freedom of thought 
and discussion." The literal idea of the " e'ening bringing 
a' hame," has a high and illustrious antiquity, as in the 
fragment of Sappho, 'EcTg^g, iravra. (pspsig — (ps^ilg o'/v (or 
cJvov) (ps^stg alya, p^fg/g fMari^t 'iraTha — which is thus 
paraphrased by Lord Byron in Don Juan, iii. 107 : — 

** Hesperus ! thou bringest all good things — 
Home to the weary, to the hungry cheer ; 

To the young bird the parent's brooding wings, 
The welcome stall to the o'erlaboured steer, etc. 

Thou bring'st the child, too, to the mother's breast." 

A similar graceful and moral saying inculcates an acknow- 
ledgment of gratitude for the past favours which we have 
enjoyed when we come to the close of the day or the close 
of life— 

Muse* the fair day at e'en. 

But a very learned and esteemed friend has suggested 
another reading of this proverb, in accordance with the 
celebrated saying of Solon (Arist. Eth. N. I. 10) : Kara 
S6Xu)va x^sdov TsXog opav — Do not praise the fairness of 
the day till evening ; do not call the life happy till you 
Lave seen the close ; or, in other matters, do not boast that 

* Praise. 



SCOTTISH LIFE <& CHARACTER. 151 

all is well till you liave conducted your undertaking to a 
prosperous end. 

Let him tah a spring on his ain fiddle. Spoken of a 
foolish and unreasonable person ; as if to say, " We will foi 
the present aUow him to have his own way." Bailie Nicol 
Jarvie quotes the proverb with great bitterness, when he 
warns his opponent that his time for triumph will come 
ere long, — " Aweel, aweel, sir, you're welcome to a tune 
on your ain fiddle ; but see if I dinna gar ye dance till't 
afore it's dune." 

The JcirJc is meihle, hut ye may say mass in ae end d't ; 
or, as I have received it in another form, " If we canna 
preach in the kirk, we can sing mass in the quire." This 
intimates, where something is alleged to be too much, that 
you need take no more than what you have need for. I 
heard the proverb used in this sense by Sir Walter Scott 
at his own table. His son had complained of some quaighs 
which Sir Walter had produced for a dram after dinner, 
that they were too large. His answer was, " Well, Walter, 
as my good mother used to say, if the kirk is owre big, 
just sing mass in the quire." Here is another reference to 
kirk and quire — He rives^ the hirh to theik'^ the quire. 
Spoken of unprofitable persons, who, in the English pro- 
verb, " rob Peter to pay Paul." 

The hinges errand may come the cadger's gate yet A 
great man may need the ser\ice of a very mean one. 

The maut is aboon the meal. His liquor has done 
more for him than his meat. The man is drunk. 

Mak a kirk and a mill oH, Turn a thing to any pur- 
pose you like ; or rather, spoken sarcastically, Take it, and 
make the best of it. 

Like a sow playing on a trump. No image could be well 
more incongruous than a pig performing on a Jew's harp. 

Mair by luck than gude guiding. His success is due 



* Tears. * Thatch. 



152 EEMINISCENCES OF 

to liis fortunate circumstances, rather than to liis own dis- 
cretion. 

He^s not a man to ride the water wH, A common 
Scottish saying to express you cannot trust such an one 
in trying times. May have arisen from the districts where 
fords abounded, and the crossing them was dangerous. 

He rides on the riggin d the kirk. The rigging being 
the top of the roof, the proverb used to be applied to those 
who carried their zeal for church matters to the extreme 
point. 

Leal heart never leed, well expresses that an honest 
loyal disposition will scorn, under all circumstances, to tell 
■ a falsehood. 

A common Scottish proverb, Let that Jlee stick to the 
wd!, has an obvious meaning, — " Say nothing more on that 
subject." But the derivation is not obvious.* In like 
manner, the meaning of He that will to Cupar maun to 
Cupar, is clearly that if a man is obstinate, and bent upon 
his own dangerous course, he must take it. But why 
Cupar ? and whether is it the Cupar of Angus or the 
Cupar of Fife? 

Kindness creeps where it canna gang, prettily expresses 
that where love can do little, it will do that little though 
it cannot do more. 

In my part of the country a ridiculous addition used 
to be made to the common Scottish saying, Mony a thing's 
made for the pennie, i.e.. Many contrivances are thought of 
to get money. The addition is, " As the old woman said 
when she saw a black man," — taking it for granted that he 
was an ingenious and curious piece of mechanism made for 
profit. 

* It has been suggested, and with much reason, that the re- 
ference is to a flee sticking on a wet or a newly painted wall ; 
this is corroborated by the addition in Rob Roy, ** When the 
dirt's dry, it will nib out," which seems to point out the meaning 
and derivation of the proverb. 



SCOTTISH LIFE S UUARACTEE, 153 

Bluid IS thicker than water, is a proverb wliicli has a 
marked Scottish aspect, as meant to vindicate those family 
predilections to which, as a nation, we are supposed to be 
rather strongly inclined. 

There^s aye water where the stirhie"^ drowns. Where 
certain effects are produced, there must be some causes at 
work — a proverb used to show that a universal popular 
suspicion as to an obvious effect must be laid in truth. 

Better a finger aff than aye waggin\ This proverb I 
remember as a great favourite with many Scotch people. 
Better experience the worst, than have an evil always 
pending. 

Cadgers are aye ci^acking o' crook-saddles t has a very 
Scottish aspect, and signifies that professional men are very 
apt to talk too much of their profession. 

As sure^s deeth, A common Scottish proverbial ex- 
pression to signify either the truth or certainty of a fact, 
or to pledge the speaker to a performance of his promise. 
In the latter sense an amusing illustration of faith in the 
superior obligation of this asseveration to any other, is re- 
corded in the EgUnton Papers.^ The Earl one day found 
a boy climbing up a tree, and called him to come down. 
The boy declined, because, he said, the Earl would thrash 
him. His Lordship pledged his honour that he would not 
do 80. The boy replied, " I dinna ken onything about 
your honour, but if you say as sure's deeth, I'll come 
doun." 

Proverbs are sometimes local in their application. 

The men o' the Mearns manna do mair than they may. 
Even the men of Elincardineshire can only do their utmost 
— a proverb intended to be highly complimentary to the 
})owers of the men of that county. 

ril mah CathhirHs covenant with you, Let ahee for let 
ahee. This is a local saying quoted often in Hamilton, 

* A young bullock. -** Saddle for supporting panniers. 

t YoL L, p. 134. 



154 HEMINISCEKCES OF 

The laird of that property had — very unlike the excellent 
family who have now possessed it for more than a century 
— been addicted to intemperance. One of his neighbours, 
in order to frighten him on his way home from his evening 
potations, disguisod himself, on a very dark night, and, 
personating the devil, claimed a title to carry him off as 
his rightful property. Contrary to all expectation, how- 
ever, the laird showed fight, and was about to commence 
the onslaught, when a parley was proposed, and the issue 
was " Cathkin's covenant. Let abee for let abee." 

When tlie castle of Stirling gets a hat, the carse of Corn- 
town pays for that. This is a local proverbial saying ; the 
meaning is, that when the clouds descend so low as to en- 
velope Stirling Castle, a deluge of rain may be expected in 
the adjacent country. 

I will conclude this notice of our proverbial reminis- 
cences, by adding a cluster of Scottish proverbs, selected 
from an excellent article on the general subject in the 
" North British Eeview " of February 1858. The reviewer 
designates these as " broader in their mirth, and more 
caustic in their tone," than the moral proverbial expres- 
sions of the Spanish and Italian : — 

A hlate^ cat males a proud mouse. 

Better a toom^ house than an ill tenant, 

Jouk^ and let the jaw^ S^^^g ^y- 

Mony ane speers the gate'' he kens fvJ weel. 

The tod^ ne^er sped better than when he gaed his ain 

errand, 
A wilfu^ man should he unco wise, 
lie that has a meiJcle nose thinks ilka ane speaks oH. 
lie that teaches himsel has a fule for his maister. 
It's an ill cause that the laxoyer thinks shame o\ 
Lippen"^ to me^ hut look to your sell, 

^ Shy. 2 Empty. » Stoop down 

* Wave. * The way. « Fox. ' Trusl to. 



SCOTTISH LIFE iih CEARACTER. 155 

Mair whistle than woOy as the souter said when shearing 

the soo. 
Ye gae far about seeking the nearest, 
Ye'll no sell your hen in a rainy day. 
Ye^ll mend when ye grow better, 
Yier nae chicken for a! your cheepin\'^ 

I have now adduced quite sufficient specimens to con- 
vince those who may not have given attention to the sub- 
ject, how much of wisdom, knowledge of life, and good 
feeling are contained in these aphorisms which compose 
the mass of our Scottish proverbial sayings. No doubt, to 
many of my younger readers, proverbs are little known, 
and to all they are becoming more and more matters of 
reminiscence. I am quite convinced that much of the 
old quaint and characteristic Scottish talk which we are 
now endeavouring to recal, depended on a happy use of 
those abstracts of moral sentiment. And this feeling will 
be confirmed when we call to mind how often those of the 
old Scottish school of character, whose conversation we 
have ourselves admired, had most largely availed them- 
selves of the use of its proverbial philosophy. 

In connection with the division of our subject, the pre- 
sent seems to be a proper place for introducing the mention 
of a Scottish peculiarity — viz., that of naming indi\dduals 
from lands which have been possessed long by the family, 
or frequently from the landed estates which they acquire. 
The use of this mode of discriminating individuals in the 
Highland districts is sufficiently obvious. Where the in- 
habitants of a whole country side are Campbells, or Frasers, 
or Gordons, nothing could be more convenient than ad- 
dressing the individuals of each clan by the name of his 
estate. Indeed, some years ago, any other designation, as 
Mr. Campbell, Mr. Fraser, would have been resented as an 
indignity. Their consequence sprang from their posses- 

* Chirping. 



156 REMIKISCENCES OF 

Bion * But all this is fast wearing away. The estates of 
old families have often changed hands, and Highlanders 
are most unwilling to give the names of old properties to 
new proprietors. The custom, however, lingers amongst 
us, in the northern districts especially. Farms also used 
to give their names to the tenants.t I can recal an 
amusing instance of this practice belonging to my early 
days. The oldest recollections I have are connected with 
the name, the figure, the sayings and doings, of the old 
cowherd at Fasque in my father's time; his name was 
Boggy, i, e.y his ordinary appellation ; his true name was 
Sandy Anderson. But he was called Boggy from the cir- 
cumstance of having once held a wretched farm on Deeside 
named Boggendreep. He had long left it, and been un- 
fortunate in it, but the name never left him, — he was 
Boggy to his grave. The territorial appellation used to be 
reckoned complimentary, and more respectful than Mr. or 
any higher title to which the individual might be entitled. 
I recollect, in my brother's time, at Fasque, his showing 
off some of his home stock to Mr. Williamson, the Aber- 
deen butcher. They came to a fine stot, and Sir Alexander 
said, with some appearance of boast, ^' I was offered twenty 
guineas for that ox." " Indeed, Fasque," said Williamson, 
" ye should hae steekit your neive upo' that." 

Sir Walter Scott had marked in his diary a territorial 
greeting of two proprietors which had amused him much. 
The laird of KUspindie had met the laird of Tannachy- 
Tulloch, and the following compliments passed between 
them : — " Yer maist obedient hummil servant, Tannachy- 
Tulloch." To which the reply was, " Yer nain man, 
Kilspindie." 

* Even in Forfarshire, where Camegies abound, we had 
Craigo, Balnamoon, Pittarrow, etc. 

t This custom is still in use in Galloway ; and ** Challoch,'' 
** Eschonchan," ** Tonderghie," ** Balsalloch," and **Dniin- 
morral," etc. etc., appear regularly at kirk and market. 



SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER, 157 

In proportion as we advance towards the ffigUand 
districts this custom of distinguishing clans or races, and 
marking them out according to the district they occupied, 
became more apparent. There was the Glengarry country, 
the Eraser country, the Gordon country, etc. etc. These 
names carried also with them certaia moral features as 
characteristic of each division. Hence the following anec- 
dote : — The morning litany of an old laird of Cultoquhey, 
when he took his morning draught at the cauld well, was 
in these terms — ^* Frae the ire o' the Drummonds, the 
pride o' the Graemes, the greed o' the Campbells, and the 
wind o* the Murrays, guid Lord deliver us." On being 
reproved by the Duke of Athole for taking such liberties 
with noble names, his answer was — " There, my lord, 
there's the wind o' the Murrays !" 



158 IlEMINISCENCES OF 



CHAPTER THE SIXTH. 

ON SCOTTISH STORIES OF WIT AND HUMOUR. 

The portion of our subject, which we proposed under the 
head of " Eeminiscences of Scottish Stories of Wit or 
Humour," yet remains to be considered. This is closely 
connected with the question of Scottish dialect and expres- 
sions ; indeed, on some points hardly separable, as the wit» 
to a great extent, proceeds from the quaint and picturesque 
modes of expressing it. But here we are met by a diffi^ 
culty. On high authority it has been declared that no 
such thing as wit exists among us. What has no existence 
can have no change. We cannot be said to have lost a 
quality which we never possessed. Many of my readers 
are no doubt familiar with what Sydney Smith declared 
on this point, and certainly on the question of wit he must 
be considered an authority. He used to say (I am almost 
ashamed to repeat it), " It requires a surgical operation to 
get a joke well into a Scotch understanding. Their only 
idea of wit, which prevails occasionally in the north, and 
which, under the name of Wut, is so infinitely distressing 
to people of good taste, is laughing immoderately at stated 
intervals." Strange language to use of a country which 
has produced Smollett, Burns, Scott, Gait, and AVilson — all 
remarkable for the humour diffused through their writings. 
Indeed, we may fairly ask, have they equals in this respect 
amongst English writers ? Charles Lamb had the same 
notion, or, I should rather say, the same prejudice, about 
Scottish people not being accessible to wit ; and he tells 
a story of what happened to himself, in corroboration of 



SCOTTISH LIFE Jc CHARACTER, 159 

the opinion. He had been asked to a party, and one object 
of the invitation had been to meet a son of Bums. When 
he arrived, IMr. Burns had not made his appearance, and in 
the course of conversation regarding the family of the poet, 
Lamb, in his lack-a-daisical kind of manner, said, " I wish 
it had been the father instead of the son ;" upon which 
four Scotchmen present with one voice exclaimed, " That's 
impossible, for he^s dead!'''^ Now, there will be dull men 
and matter-of-fact men everywhere, who do not take a joke 
or enter into a jocular allusion ; but surely, as a general 
remark, this is far from being a natural quality of our 
country. Sydney Smith and Charles Lamb say so. But 
at the risk of being considered presumptuous, I will say I 
think them entirely mistaken. I should say that there 
was, on the contrary, a strong connection between the 
Scottish temperament and, call it if you like, humour, if it 
is not wit. And what is the difference ? My readers 
need not be afraid that they are to be led through a 
labyrinth of metaphysical distinctions between- wit and 
humour. I have read Dr. Campbell's dissertation on the 
difference in his philosophy of rhetoric ; I have read Sydney 
Smith's own two lectures ; but I confess I am not much 
the wiser. Professors of rhetoric, no doubt, must have 
such discussions, but when you wish to be amused by the 
thing itseK, it is somewhat disappointing to be presented 
with metaphysical analysis. It is like instituting an ex- 
amination of the glass and cork of a champagne bottle, 
and a chemical testing of the wine. In the very process 
the volatile and sparkling draught which was to delight the 
palate, has become like ditch water, vapid and dead. What 
I mean is, that, call it wit or humour, or what you please, 

* After all, the remark may not have been so absurd then as 
it appears now. Burns had not been long dead, nor was he then 
so noted a character as he is now. The Scotchmen might really 
have supposed a Southerner unacquainted with the /ac^ of the 
poet's death. 



160 REMINISCENCES OF 

there is a scliool of Scottisli pleasantry, amusing and cha- 
racteristic beyond all other. Don't think of analysing its 
nature, or the qualities of which it is composed ; enjoy its 
quaint and amusing flow of oddity and fun ; as we may, 
for instance, suppose it to have flowed on that eventful 
night so joyously described by Burns : — 

*' The souter tauld his queerest stories, 
The landlord's laugh was ready chorus." 

Or we may think of the delight it gave the good Mr. 
Balwhidder, when he tells, in his Annals of the Parish, of 
some such story, that it was a "jocosity that was just a 
kittle to hear." When I speak of changes in such Scottish 
humour which have taken place, I refer to a particular 
sort of humour, and I speak of the sort of feeling that 
belongs to Scottish pleasantry, — which is sly, and cheery, 
and pawky. It is, undoubtedly, a humour that depends a 
good deal upon the vehicle in which the story is conveyed. 
If, as we have said, our quaint dialect is passing away, and 
our national eccentric points of character, we must expect 
to find much of the peculiar humour allied with them to 
have passed away also. In other departments of wit and 
repartee, and acute hits at men and things, Scotchmen 
(whatever Sydney Smith may have said to the contrary) are 
equal to their neighbours, and, so far as I know, may have 
gained rather than lost. But this peculiar himiour of 
which I now speak has not, in our day, the scope and 
development which were permitted to it by the former 
generation. Where the tendency exists, the exercise of it 
is kept down by the usages and feelings of society. For 
examples of it (in its full force at any rate), we must go 
back to a race who are departed. One remark, however, 
has occurred to me in regard to the specimens we have 
of this kind of humour — viz., that they do not always pro- 
ceed from the wit or the cleverness of any of the in- 
dividuals concerned in them. The amusement comes from 
the circumstances, from the concurrence or combination of 



SCOTTISH LIFE & CEARACTER. 161 

the ideas, and in many cases from the mere expressions 
which describe the facts. The humour of the narrative is 
unquestionable, and yet no one has tried to be humorous. 
In short, it is the Scottishness that gives the zest. The 
same ideas differently expounded might have no point at 
all. There is, for example, something highly original in 
the notions of celestial mechanics entertained by an honest 
Scottish Fife lass regarding the theory of comets. Ha^dng 
occasion to go out after dark, and having observed the 
brilliant comet then visible (1858), she ran in with breath- 
less haste to the house, calling on her fellow-servants to 
" Come oot and see a new star that hasna got its tail cuttit 
aff yet !" Exquisite astronomical speculation ! Stars, like 
puppies, are born with tails, and in due time have them 
docked. Take an example of a story where there is no 
display of any one's wit or humour, and yet it is a good 
story, and one can't exactly say why : — An English traveller 
had gone on a fine Highland road so long, without having 
seen an indication of fellow-travellers, that he became 
astonished at the solitude of the country ; and no doubt 
before the Highlands were so much frequented as they are 
in our time, the roads had a very striking aspect of soli- 
tariness. Our traveller at last coming up to an old man 
breaking stones, he asked him if there was any traffic on 
this road — was it at all frequented ? " Ay," he said, " it's 
no ill at that ; there was a cadger body yestreen, and 
there's yoursell the day." No English version of the story 
could have half such amusement, or have so quaint a 
character. An answer, even still more characteristic, is 
recorded to have been given by a countryman to a traveller. 
Being doubtful of his way, he inquired if he were on the 
right road to Dunkeld. With some of his national in- 
quisitiveness about strangers, the countryman asked his 
inquirer where he came from. Offended at the liberty, as 
he considered it, he sharply reminded the man that where 
he came from was nothing to him ; but all the answer he 
got, was the quiet rejoinder. *' Indeed, it's just as little to 

M 



162 REMINISCENCES OF 

me whar ye're gaen'." A friend has told me of an answei 
highlj characteristic of this dry and unconcerned quality 
which he heard given to a fellow-traveller. A gentleman 
sitting opposite to him in the stage-coach at Berwick, com- 
plained bitterly that the cushion on w^hich he sat was 
quite wet. On looking up to the roof he saw a hole 
through which the rain descended copiously, and at once 
accounted for the mischief. He called for the coachman, 
and in great wrath reproached him with the evil under 
which he suffered, and pointed to the hole which was the 
cause of it. All the satisfaction, however, that he got was 
the quiet unmoved reply, "Ay, mony a ane has complained 
o' that hole." Another anecdote I heard from a gentleman 
who vouched for the truth, which is just a case where the 
narrative has its humour, not from the wit which is dis- 
played, but from that dry matter-of-fact view of things 
peculiar to some of our countrymen. The friend of my 
informant was walking in a street of Perth, when, to his 
horror, he saw a workman fall from a roof where he was 
mending slates, right upon the pavement. By extra- 
ordinary good fortune he was not killed, and, on the 
gentleman going up to his assistance, and exclauning, mth 
much excitement, "God bless me, are you much hurt?" 
all the answer he got was the cool rejoinder, " On the con- 
trary, sir." A similar matter-of-fact answer was made by 
one of the old race of Montrose humorists. He was coming 
out of church, and, in the press of the kirk skailing^ a young 
man thoughtlessly trod on the old gentleman's toe, which 
was tender with corns. He hastened to apologise, saying, 
" I am very sorry, sir ; I beg your pardon." The only 
acknowledgment of which was the dry answer, " And ye've 
as muckle need, sir." 

One of the best specimens of cool Scottish matter-of 
fact view of things has been supplied by a kind corre- 
spondent, who narrates it from his own personal recollec- 
tion. 

"^rhe back windows of the house where he was brought 



SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 163 

up looked upon tlie Greyfriars' Cliurcli that was burnt 
clown. On the Sunday morning in which that event took 
place, as they were all preparing to go to church, the flames 
began to burst forth ; the young people screamed from the 
back part of the house, " A fire ! a fire ! " and all was in 
a state of confusion and alarm. The housemaid was not 
at home, it being her turn for the Sunday " out." Kitty, 
the cook, was taking her place, and performing her duties. 
The old woman was always very particular on the subject 
of her responsibility on such occasions, and came panting 
and hobbling up stairs from the lower regions, and ex- 
claimed, "0 what is't, what is't ?" "Oh, Kitty, look 
here, the Greyfriars' Church is on fire ! " " Is that a', 
IMiss ? What a fricht ye geed me ! I thought ye said the 
parlour fire was out." 

From a first-rate Highland authority I have been 
supplied mth the follo^\dng clever and crushing reply to 
what was intended as a sarcastic compliment and a smart 
saying : — 

About the beginning of the present century, the then 
Campbell, of Combie, on Loch Awe side, in Argyleshire, 
was a man of extraordinary character, and of great physical 
strength, and such swiftness of foot that it is said he could 
*^ catch the best tup on the hill." He also looked upon 
himself as a "pretty man," though in this he was singular; 
also, it was more than whispered that the laird was not 
remarkable for his principles of honesty. There also lived 
in the same district a Miss MacNabb of Bar-a'-Chaistril, a 
lady who, before she had passed the zenith of life, had 
never been remarkable for her beauty — the contrary even 
had passed into a proverb, while she was in her teens ; 
but, to counterbalance this defect in external qualities, 
nature had endowed her ^ith great benevolence, while she 
was renowned for her probity. One day the Laird of 
Combie, who piqued himseK on his hoTi-mots, was, as fre- 
quently happened, a guest of Miss MacNabb*s, and after 
dinner several toasts had gone round as usual, Combie 



164 REMINISCENCES OF 

addressed his hostess, and requested an especial bumper, 
insisting on all the guests to fill to the brim. He then 
rose, and said, addressing himself to Miss MacNabb, " I pro- 
pose the old Scottish toast of ^Honest men and honnie 
lassies,'" and bowdng to the hostess^ he resumed his seat. 
The lady returned his bow with her usual amiable smile, 
and taking up her glass, replied, " We el, Combie, I am 
sure we may drink that, for it will neither apply to you 
nor 7/26." 

An amusing example of a quiet cool view of a pecuniary 
transaction happened to my father whilst doing the business 
of the rent day. He was receiving sums of money from 
the tenants in succession. After looking over a bundle of 
notes which he had just received from one of them, a well- 
known character, he said in banter, '' James, the notes are 
not correct." To which the farmer, who was much of a 
humorist, dryly answered, " I dinna ken what they may 
be noo ; but they were a' richt afore ye had your fingers 
in amang 'em." An English farmer would hardly have 
spoken thus to his landlord. The Duke of Buccleuch told 
me an answer very quaintly Scotch, given to his grand- 
mother by a farmer of the old school. A dinner was given 
to some tenantry of the vast estates of the family, in the 
time of Duke Henry. His Duchess (the last descendant of 
the Dukes of Montague) always appeared at table on such 
occasion, and did the honours with that mixture of dignity 
and of affable kindness for which she was so remarkable. 
Abundant hospitality was shown to all the guests. The 
Duchess, having observed one of the tenants supplied with 
boiled beef from a noble round, proposed that he should 
add a supply of cabbage ; on his declining, the Duchess 
good humouredly remarked, " Why, boiled beef and greens 
seem so naturally to go together, I wonder you don't take 
it." To which the honest farmer objected, " Ah, but youi 
Grace maun alloo it's a vary windy vegetable," in delicate 
allusion to the flatulent quality of the esculent. Similar 
to this was the naive answer of a farmer on the occasior? 



SCOTTISH LIFE .5 CnAUACTEU. 165 

of a rent day. The lady of the liouse asked hiin if he 
would take some rhubarb tart ; " Mony thanks, mem, I 
dinna need it." 

Amongst the lower orders, humour is found, occa- 
sionally, very rich in mere children, and I recollect a re- 
markable illustration of this early native humour occurring 
in a family in Forfarshire, where I used, in former days, 
to be very intimate. A wretched woman, who used to 
traverse the country as a beggar or tramp, left a poor, half 
starved little girl by the road-side, near the house of my 
friends. Always ready to assist the unfortunate, they took 
charge of the child, and as she grew a little older, they 
began to give her some education, and taught her to read. 
She soon made some progress in reading the Bible, and 
tlie native odd humour, of which we speak, began soon to 
show itself. On reading the passage, which began, ^' Then 
David rose," etc., the child stopped, and looking up know- 
ingly, to say, " I ken wha that was," and, on being asked 
what she could mean, she confidently said, " That's David 
Rowse the pleuchman." And again reading the passage 
where the words occur, '•^ He took Paul's girdle," the child 
said, with much confidence, " I ken what he took that for," 
and on being asked to explain, replied at once, " To bake's 
bannocks on ; " " girdle " being, in the north, the name for 
the iron plate hung over the fire, for making oat cakes or 
bannocks. 

To a distinguished member of the Church of Scotland I 
am indebted for an excellent story of quaint child humour, 
which he had from the lips of an old woman who related 
the story of herself : — When a girl of eight years of age, she 
was taken by her grandmother to church. The parish 
minister was not only a long preacher, but, as the custom 
was, delivered two sermons on the Sabbath day without 
any interval, and thus saved the parishioners the two 
journeys to church. Elizabeth was sufficiently wearied 
before the close of the first discourse; but when, after 
singing and prayer, the good minister opened the Bible, 



106 BEMINISCEXCES OF 

read a second text, and prepared to give a second sermon, 
the young girl, being both tired and hungry, lost all patience, 
and cried out to her grandmother, to the no small amuse- 
ment of those who were so near as to hear her, " Come awa, 
granny, and gang hame ; this is a lang grace, and nae meat." 

A most amusing account of child humour used to be 
narrated by an old Mr. Campbell of Jura, who told the 
story of his own son. It seems the boy was much spoilt 
by indulgence. In fact, the parents were scarce able to 
refuse him anything he demanded. He was in the draw- 
ing-room on one occasion when dinner was announced, and 
on being ordered up to the nursery, he insisted on going 
down to dinner with the company. His mother was for 
refusal, but the child persevered, and kept saying, "If I 
dinna gang, I'll tell thon." His father then, for peace sake, 
let him go. So he went and sat at table by his mother. 
When he found every one getting soup and himself omitted, 
he demanded soup, and repeated, " K I dinna get it, I'll 
tell thon." Well, soup was given, and various other things 
yielded to his importunities, to which he always added the 
usual threat of " telling thon." At last, when it came to 
wine, his mother stood firm, and positively refused, as " a 
bad thing for little boys," and so on. He then became 
more vociferous than ever about "telling thon ;" and as 
still he was refused, he declared, " Now I will tell thon," 
and at last roared out, " Ma new hreeks were made oot^ 6* 
the auld curtains I " 

A facetious and acute friend who rather leans to the 
Sydney Smith view of Scottish wit, declares that all our 
humorous stories are about lairds, and about lairds who 
are drunk. Of such stories there are certainly not a few ; 
one of the best belonging to my part of the country, and 
to many persons I should perhaps apologise for introducing 
it at all.' The story has been told of various parties and 
localities, but no doubt the genuine laird was a laird of 
Balnamoon (pronounced in the country Bonnjonoon), and 
that the locality was a wild tract of land, not far from his 



SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER, 167 

place, called Munrimmon Moor. Balnamoon had. been 
dining out in the neighbourliood, where, by mistake, they 
had put down to him after dinner cherry brandy, instead 
of port wine, his usual beverage. The rich flavour and 
strength so pleased him, that having tasted it, he would 
have nothing else. On rising from table, therefore, the 
laird would be more afiected by his drink than if he had 
taken his ordinary allowance of port. His servant Harry, 
or Hairy,* was to drive him home in a gig or whisky, as 
it was called, the usual open carriage of the time. On 
crossing the moor, however, whether from greater exposure 
to the blast, or from the laird's unsteadiness of head, his 
hat and wig came off and fell upon the ground. Harry 
got out to pick them up and restore them to his master. 
The laird was satisfied with the hat, but demurred at the 
wig. " It's no my wig, Hairy, lad ; it's no my wig," and 
refused to have anything to do with it. Hairy lost hia 
patience, and, anxious to get home, remonstrated with his 
master, " Ye'd better tak it, sir, for there's nae waile o' 
wigs on Munrimmon Moor." The humour of the argument 
is exquisite, putting to the laird, in his unreasonable objec- 
tion, the sly insinuation that in such a locality, if he did 
not take this wig, he was not likely to find another. Then, 
what a rich expression, " waile o' wigs." In English what 
is it ? "A choice of perukes ;" which is nothing comparable 
to the "waile o' wigs." I ought to mention also an 
amusing sequel to the story, viz., in what happened after 
the affair of the wig had been settled, and the laird had 
consented to return home. When the whisky drove up to 
the door. Hairy, sitting in front, told the servant who came 
to " tak out the laird." No laird was to be seen ; and it 
appeared that he had fallen out on the moor without 
Hairy observing it. Of course, they went back, and, pick- 

* In corroboration of the genuineness and authenticity of the 
story, I am assured by a correspondent that he knows the name 
of the servant was not Hairy ; but I have mislaid the reference. 



168 REMINISCENCES OF 

ing him up, brought him safe home. A neighbouring 
laird having called a few days after, and having referred 
to the accident, Balnamoon quietly added, " Indeed, I maun 
hae a lume* that'll had inP 

The laird of Balnamoon was a truly eccentric character. 
He joined with his drinking propensities a great zeal for the 
Episcopal Church, the service of which he read to his own 
family with much solemnity and earnestness of manner. 
Two gentlemen, one of them a stranger to the country, 
having called pretty early one Sunday morning, Balnamoon 
invited them to dinner, and as they accepted the invitation, 
they remained and joined in the forenoon devotional ex- 
ercises conducted by Balnamoon himself. The stranger was 
much impressed with the laird's performance of the service, 
and during a walk which they took before dinner mentioned 
to his friend how highly he esteemed the religious deport- 
ment of their host. The gentleman said nothing, but smiled 
to himseK at the scene which he anticipated was to follow. 
After dinner Balnamoon set himself, according to the custom 
of old hospitable Scottish hosts, to make his guests as drunk 
as possible. The result was, that the party spent the 
evening in a riotous debauch, and were carried to bed by 
the servants at a late hour. Next day, when they had 
taken leave and left the house, the gentleman who had 
introduced his friend asked him what he thought of their 
entertainer — " Why, really," he replied, with evident 
astonishment, " sic a speat o' praying, and sic a speat o' 
drinldng, I never knew in the whole course of my life." 

Lady Dalhousie, mother, I mean, of the late distinguished 
Marquis of Dalhousie, used to tell a characteristic anecdote 
of her day. But here, on mention of the name Christian, 
Countess of Dalhousie, may I pause a moment to recal the 
memory of one who was a very remarkable person. She 
was, for many years, to me and mine, a sincere and true 
and valuable friend. By an awful dispensation of God's 

* A vessel. 



SCOTTISH LIFE c£' GHAIiACTER. 169 

providence, her death happened instantaneously under my 
roof in 1839. Lady Dalhousie was eminently distinguished 
for a fund of the most varied knowledge, for a clear and 
powerful judgment, for acute observation, a kind heart, a 
brilliant wit. Her story was thus : — A Scottish judge, 
somewhat in the predicament of the Laird of Balnamoon, 
had dined at Coalstoun with her father Charles Brown, an 
advocate, and son of George Brown, who sat in the Supreme 
Court as a judge with the title of Lord Coalstoun. The 
party had been convivial, as we know parties of the highest 
legal characters often were in those days. When breaking 
up and going to the drawing-room, one of them, not seeing 
his way very clearly, stepped out of the dining-room win- 
dow, which was open to the summer air. The ground at 
Coalstoun sloping off from the house behind, the worthy 
judge got a great fall, and rolled down the bank. He con- 
trived, however, as tipsy men generally do, to regain his 
legs, and was able to reach the drawing-room. The first 
remark he made was an innocent remonstrance with his 
friend the host, " Od, Charlie Brown, what gars ye hae sic 
lang steps to j owe front door ?" 

On Deeside, where many original stories had their 
origin, I recollect hearing several of an excellent and worthy, 
but very simple-minded man, the Laird of Craigmyle. On 
one occasion, when the beautiful and clever Jane, Duchess 
of Gordon, was scouring through the country, intent upon 
some of those electioneering schemes which often occupied 
her fertile imagination and active energies, she came to call 
at Craigmyle, and having heard that the laird was makiQg 
bricks on the property, for the purpose of building a new 
garden wall, with her usual tact she opened the subject, and 
kindly asked, " Well, Mr. Gordon, and how do your bricks 
come on ?" Good Craigmyle^s thoughts were much occu- 
pied with a new leather portion of his dress, which had 
been lately constructed, so, looking doT\Ti on his nether gar- 
ments, he said in pui^e Aberdeen dialect, "Muckle obleeged 
to yer Grace, the breeks war sum ticht at first, but they 



170 REMINISCENCES OF 

are deeing weel eneucli noo.** The last Laird of Macnab, 
before the clan finally broke up and emigrated to Canada, 
was a well-kno\\Ti character in the country, and being poor, 
used to ride about on a most wretched horse, which gave 
occasion to many jibes at his expense. The laird was in the 
constant habit of riding up from the country to attend the 
Musselburgh races. A young wit, by way of playing him 
off on the race-course, asked him, in a contemptuous tone, 
" Is that the same horse you had last year, laird?" "Na " 
said the laird, brandishing his whip in the interrogator's 
face in so emphatic a manner .as to preclude further question- 
ing, " Na ; but it's the same whupP In those da3''s, as 
might be expected, people were not nice in expressions of 
their dislike of persons and measures. K there be not more 
charity in society than of old, there is certainly more courtesy. 
I have, from a friend, an anecdote illustrative of this remark, 
in regard to feelings exercised towards an unpopular laird. 
In the neighbourhood of Banff, in Forfarshire, the seat of a 
very ancient branch of the Ramsay s, lived a proprietor who 
bore the appellation of Corb, from the name of his estate. 
The family has passed away, and its property merged in 
Banff. This laird was intensely disliked in the neighbour- 
hood. Sir George Ramsay was, on the other hand, univer- 
sally popular and respected. On one occasion. Sir George, 
in passing a morass in his own neighbourhood, had missed 
the road and fallen into a bog to an alarming depth. To 
his great relief, he saw a passenger coming along the 
path, which was at no great distance. He called loudly for 
his help, but the man took no notice. Poor Sir George 
felt himseK sinking, and redoubled his cries for assistance ; 
all at once the passenger rushed forward, carefully extricated 
him from his perilous position, and politely apologised for 
his first neglect of his appeal, adding, as his reason, " Indeed, 
Sir George, I thought it was Corb ! " evidently meaning that 
had it been Corb, he must have taken his chance for him. 
In Lanarkshire, there lived a sma' sma' laird named 
Hamilton, who was noted for his eccentricity. On one 



SCOTTISH LIFE & C'UARACTER, 171 

occasion, a neighbour waited on him, and requested his 
name as an accommodation to a bit bill for twenty pounds 
at three months' date, which led to the following charac- 
teristic and truly Scottish colloquy : — " Na, na, I canna do 
that." " What for no, laird, ye hae dune the same thing 
for ithers." *' Aye, aye, Tammas, but there's wheels within 
wheels ye ken naething about ; I canna do't." " It's a 
sma' affair to refuse me, laird." " Weel ye see, Tammas, if 
I was to pit my name till't, ye wad get the siller frae the 
bank, and when the time came round, ye wadna be ready, 
and I wad hae to pay't ; sae then you and me wad quarrel ; 
sae we mae just as weel quarrel the noo, as lang's the siller's 
in ma pouch." On one occasion, Hamilton having business 
with the late Duke of Hamilton at Hamilton Palace, the 
Duke politely asked him to lunch. A liveried servant 
waited upon them, and was most assiduous in his atten- 
tions to the Duke and his guest. At last our eccentric friend 
lost patience, and looking at the servant, addressed him 
thus, " What the deil for are ye dance, dancing, about the 
room that gait ; can ye no draw in your chair and sit 
down ? I'm sure there's plenty on the table for threeP 

Of another laird whom I heard often spoken of in old 
times, an anecdote was told strongly Scotch. Our friend 
had much difficulty (as many worthy lairds have had) in 
njeeting the claims of those two woful periods of the year 
called with us in Scotland the " tarmes." He had been 
employing for some time as workman a stranger from the 
south on some house repairs, of the not uncommon name 
in England of Christmas. His servant early one morning 
called out at the laird's door in great excitement that 
" Christmas had run away, and nobody knew where he had 
gone " He turned in his bed with the earnest ejaculation, 
" I only wish he had taken Whitsunday and Martinmas 
along with him." I do not know a better illustration of 
quiet, shrewd, and acute Scottish humour than the following 
little story, which an esteemed correspondent mentions 
having heard from his father when a boy, relating to a 



172 BE^IINISCENCES OF 

former Duke of Atliole, wlio had no family of his own^ and 
whom he mentions as having remembered very well : — He 
met, one morning, one of his cottars or gardeners, whose 
wife he knew to be in the hopeful way. Asking him " how 
Marget was the day," the man replied, that she had that 
morning given him twins. Upon which the Duke said, — 
" Weel, Donald ; ye ken the Almighty never sends bairns 
without the meat," " That may be, your Grace," said 
Donald ; " but whiles I think that Providence maks a 
mistak in thae matters, and sends the bairns to ae hoose 
and the meat to anither ! " The Duke took the hint, and 
sent him a cow with calf the following morning. 

I have heard of an amusing scene between a laird cele- 
brated for his saving propensities, and a wandering sort of 
Edie Ochiltree, a well-kno\^Ti itinerant who lived by his 
wits and what he could pick up in his rounds amongst the 
houses of lairds and farmers. One thrifty laird having seen 
him sit down near his own gate to examine the contents of 
his poke or wallet, conjectured that he had come from the 
house, and so he drew near to see what he had carried off. 
As he was keenly investigating the mendicant's spoils, his 
quick eye detected some bones on which there remained 
more meat than should have been allowed to leave his 
kitchen. Accordingly he pounced upon the bones, and 
declared he had been robbed, and insisted on his returning 
to the house and giving back the spoiL The beggar was. 
however, prepared for the attack, and sturdily defended his 
property, boldy asserting, " Na, na, laird, thae are no Tod- 
brae banes ; thae are Inch-Byre banes, and nane o* your 
honour's " — meaning that he had received these bones at 
the house of a neighbour of a more liberal character. But 
the beggar's professional discrimination between the bones of 
the two mansions, and his pertinacious defence of his own 
property, would have been most amusing to a bystander. 

I have, however, a reverse story, in which the beggar is 
quietly silenced by the proprietor. A noble lord, some 
generations back, well known for his frugal habits, had just 



SCOTTISH LIFE db CHARACTER. 173 

picked up a small copper coin in his own avenue, and had 
been observed by one of the itinerating mendicant race, who, 
grudging the transfer of the piece into the peer's pocket, 
exclaimed, " 0, gie't to me, my lord ; " to which the quiet 
answer was, " Na, na ; fin' a fardin for yersell, puir body." 

There are always pointed anecdotes against houses want- 
ing in a liberal and hospitable expenditure in Scotland. 
Thus, we have heard of a master leaving such a mansion, 
and taxing his servant with being drunk, which he had too 
often been after country visits. On this occasion, however, 
he was innocent of the charge, for he had not the 02')portunity 
to transgress. So, when his master asserted, " Jemmy, you 
are drunk !" Jemmy very quietly answered, " Indeed, sir, 
I wish I wur." At another mansion, notorious for scanty 
fare, a gentleman was inquiring of the gardener about a dog 
which some time ago he had given to the laird. Tlie 
gardener showed him a lank greyhound, on which the 
gentleman said, ^^ No, no ; the dog I gave your master 
was a mastiff, not a greyhound ;" to which the gardenei 
quietly answered, " Indeed, ony dog micht sune become a 
greyhound by stopping here." 

From a friend and near relative, a minister of the 
Established Church of Scotland, I used to hear many cha- 
racteristic stories. He had a curious vein of this sort of 
humour in himself, besides what he brought out of others. 
One of his peculiaritierf was a mortal antipathy to the whole 
French nation, whom he frequently abused in no measured 
terms. At the same time he had great relish of a glass of 
claret, which he considered the prince of all social beverages. 
So he usually finished off his antigallican tirades with the 
reservation, " But the bodies brew the braw drink." He 
lived amongst his own people, and knew well the habits 
and peculiarities of a race gone by. He had many stories 
connected with the pastoral relation between minister and 
people, and aU such stories are curious, not merely for 
tlieir amusement, but from the illustration they afford us 
of that peculiar Scottish humour which we are now describ- 



174 FcEMINISCENCES OF 

ing. He had himself, when a very young boy, before he 
came up to the Edinburgh High School, been at the 
parochial school where he resided, and which, like many 
others, at that period, had a considerable reputation for the 
skill and scholarship of the master. He used to describe 
school scenes rather different, I suspect, from school scenes 
in our day. One boy, on coming late, exclaimed that the 
cause had been a regular pitched battle between his parents, 
with the details of which he amused his school -fellows ; and 
he described the battle in vivid and Scottish Homeric 
terms, "And eh, as they faucht and they faucht," adding, 
however, with much complacency, " but my minnie dang, 
she did tho'." 

There was a style of conversation and quaint modes of 
communication between ministers and their people at that 
time, which, I suppose, would seem strange to the present 
generation ; as, for example, I recollect a conversation 
between this relative and one of his parishioners of this 
description. It had been a very wet and unpromising 
autumn. The minister met a certain Janet of his flock, 
and accosted her very kindly. He remarked, " Bad pro- 
spect for the har'st (harvest), Janet, this wet." Janet — 
" Indeed, sir, I've seen as muckle as that there'll be nae 
har'st the year." Minister — " Na, Janet, deil as muckle as 
that't ever ye saw." 

As I have said, he was a clergyman of the Established 
Church, and had many stories about ministers and people, 
arising out of his own pastoral experience, or the experi- 
ence of friends and neighbours. He was much delighted 
with the not very refined rebuke which one of his own 
farmers had given to a young minister who had for some 
Sundays occupied his pulpit. The young man had dined 
with the farmer in the afternoon when services were over, 
and his appetite was so sharp, that he thought it necessary 
to apologise to his host for eating so substantial a dinner. 
— " You see," he said, " I am always very hungry after 
preaching." The old gentleman, not much admiring the 



SCOTTISH LIFE (& CHARACTER. 175 

youth's pulpit ministrations, having heard this apology two 
or three times, at last replied sarcastically, " Indeed, sir^ 
I'm no surprised at it, considering the trash that comes ail 
your stomach in the morning." 

What I wish to keep in view is, to distinguish anecdotes 
which are amusing on account merely of the expressions 
used, from those which have real wit and humour comhined, 
with the purely Scottish vehicle in which they are conveyed. 

Of this class I could not have a better specimen to 
commence with than the defence of the liturgy of his church, 
by John Skinner of Langside, of whom previous mention 
has been made. It is witty and clever. 

Being present at a party [I think at Lord Forbes's], 
where were also several ministers of the Establishment, the 
conversation over their wine turned, among other things, 
on the Prayer-book. Skinner took no part in it, till one 
minister remarked to him, " The great faut I hae to your 
prayer-book is that ye use the Lord's Prayer sae aften, — 
ye juist mak a dishclout o't.'* 

Skinner's rejoinder was, " Verra true ! Ay, man, we mak 
a dishclout o't, an' we wring't, an we wring't, an' we wring't, 
an' the bree* o't washes a' the lave o' our prayers." 

No one, I think, could deny the wit of the two follow- 
ing rejoinders. 

A ruling elder of a country parish in the west of Scot- 
land was well known in the district as a shrewd and ready- 
witted man. He got many a visit by persons who liked a 
banter, or to hear a good joke. Three young students gave 
him a call in order to have a little amusement at the 
elder's expense. On approaching him, one of them saluted 
him, "WeU, Father Abraham, how are you to-day?" 
" YcKi are wrong," said the other, " this is old Father Isaac." 
" Tuts," said the third, " you are both mistaken ; this is 
old Father Jacob." David looked at the young men, and 
in his own way replied, " I am neither old Father Abraham, 
nor old Father Isaac, nor old Father Jacob ; but I am Saul, 

* Juice. 



176 EEMINTSCENCES OF 

the son of Kish, seeking his father's asses, and lo ! I've 
found three o' them." 

For many years the Baptist community of Dunfermline 
was presided over by brothers David Dewar and James 
Inglis, the latter of whom has just recently gone to his 
reward. Brother David was a plain, honest, straightforward 
man, who never hesitated to express his convictions, how- 
ever unpalatable they might be to others. Being elected 
a member of the Prison Board, he was called upon to give 
his vote in the choice of a chaplain from the licentiates of 
the Established Kirk. The party who had gained the con- 
fidence of the Board had proved rather an indifferent 
preacher in a charge to which he had previously been 
appointed ; and on David being asked to signify his assent 
to the choice of the Board, he said, " Weel, I've no objections 
to the man, for I understand he has preached a kirk toom 
(empty) already, and if he be as successful in the jail, he'll 
maybe preach it vawcant as weel." 

From ]\Ir. Inglis, clerk of the Court of Session, I have 
the following Scottish rejoinder : — 

" I recollect my father giving a conversation between a 
Perthshire laird and one of his tenants. The laird's eldest 
son was rather a simpleton. Laird says, " I am going to 
send the young laird abroad.'* " What for ?" asks the 
tenant ; answered, " To see the world ;" tenant replies, 
" But, lordsake, laird, will no the world see Mm ? " 

An admirably humorous reply is recorded of a Scotch 
officer, well known and esteemed in his day for mirth and 
humour. Captain Innes of the Guards (usually called Jock 
Innes by his contemporaries) was with others getting ready 
for Flushing or some of those expeditions of the beginning 
of the great war. His commanding officer (Lord Huntly, 
my correspondent thinks) remonstrated about the badness 
of his hat, and recommended a new one. — " Na, na I bide 
a wee," said Jock ; " where we're gain', faith there'll soon 
be mair hats nor heads P 

There is an odd and original way of putting a matter 



SCOTTISH LIFE <& CHARACTER. 177 

sometimes in Scotcli people, whicli is irresistibly comic, 
although by the persons nothing comic is intended ; as for 
example, when in 1786 Edinburgh was illuminated on 
account of the recovery of George III. from severe illness 
— in a house where great preparation was going onJor the 
occasion, by getting the candles fixed in tin sconces, an old 
nurse of the family looking on, exclaimed, " Ay, it's a braw 
time for the can n el-makers when the king is sick, honest 
man !" 

Scottish farmers of the old school were a shrewd and 
humorous race, sometimes not indisposed to look with a 
little jealousy upon their younger brethren, who on their 
part, perhaps, showed their contempt for the old-fashioned 
ways. . I take the following example from the columns of 
the Peterhead Sentinel , just as it appeared — June 14, 
1861 :— 

"An Anecdote for Dean Ramsay. — The following 
characteristic and amusing anecdote was communicated to 
us the other day by a gentleman who happened to be a 
party to the conversation detailed below. This gentleman 
was passiQg along a road not a hundred miles from Peter- 
head one day this week. Two different farms skirt the 
separate sides of the turnpike, one of which is rented by a 
a farmer who cultivates his land according to the most 
advanced system of agriculture, and the other of which is 
farmed by a gentleman of the old school. Our informant 
met the latter worthy at the side of the turnpike opposite 
his neighbour's farm, and seeing a fine crop of wheat upon 
what appeared to be [and really was] very thin and poor 
land, asked, ^ When was that wheat sown V * 0, I dinna 
ken,' replied the gentleman of the old school, with a sort 
of half-indifference, haK-contempt. 'But isn't it strange 
that such a fbie crop should be reared on such bad land V 
asked our iaformant. ' 0, na — nae at a' — devil thank it ; 
a gravesteen wad gie guid bree gin ye geed it plenty o' 
butter !'" 

But perhaps the best anecdote illustrative of the keen 



178 REMINISCENCES OF 

Blirewdiiess of tlie Scottisli farmer is related by Mr. Boyd 
in one of Ms cliarming series of papers reprinted from 
Fraser*8 Magazine, "A friend of mine, a country parson, 
on first going to his parish, resolved to farm his glebe for 
himself. A neighbouring farmer kindly offered the parson 
to plough one of his fields. The farmer said that he would 
send his man John with a plough and a pair of horses on 
a certain day. ' K ye're goin' about,' said the farmer to the 
clergyman, ^ John will be unco* weel pleased if you speak 
to him, and say it's a fine day, or the like o' that ; but 
dinna,* said the farmer, with much solemnity, ' dinna say 
onything to him about ploughin' and sawin' ; for John,' he 
added, ^ is a stupid body, but he has been ploughin' and 
sawin' all his life, and he'll see in a minute that ye ken 
naething aboot ploughin' and sawin'. And then,' said the 
sagacious old farmer, with extreme earnestness, ^ if he comes 
to think that ye ken naething aboot ploughin' and sawin', 
he'll think that ye ken naething about onything !' " 

The following is rather an original commentary, by a 
layman, upon clerical incomes : — A relative of mine going 
to church with a Forfarshire farmer, one of the old school, 
asked him the amount of the minister's stipend. He said, 
*' Od, it's a gude ane — the maist part of .£300 a year." 
" Well," said my relative, "many of these Scotch ministers 
are but poorly off." " They've eneuch, sir ; they have 
eneuch ; if they'd mair, it would want a' their time to the 
spending o't." 

Scotch gamekeepers had often much dry quiet humour. 
I was much amused by the answer of one of those under 
the following circumstances : — An Ayrshire gentleman, 
who was from the first a very bad shot, or rather no shot 
at all, when out on 1st of September, having failed, time 
after time, in bringing down a single bird, had at last 
pointed out to him by his attendant bag- carrier a large 
covey, thick and close on the stubbles. " Noo, ]\Ir. Jeems, 
let drive at them, just as they are I" Mr. Jeems did let 
drive, as advised, but not a feather remained to testify 



SCOTTISH LIFE S CHARACTER. 179 

the shot. All flew off, safe and sound — " Hech, sir (re- 
marks his friend), but ye've made thae yins shift their 
quarters." 

The two following anecdotes of rejoinders from Scottish 
gude wives, and for which I am indebted, as for many other 
kind communications, to the Eev. Mr. Blair of Dunblane, 
appear to me as good examples of the peculiar Scottish 
pithy phraseology which we now refer to, as any that I 
have met with. 

An old lady who lived not far from Abbotsford, and 
from whom the " Great Unknown " had derived many an 
ancient tale, was waited upon one day by the author of 
" Waverley." On endeavouring to give the authorship the 
go-by, the old dame protested, " D ye think, sir, I dinna 
ken my ain groats in ither folk's kail ?" 

A conceited packman called at a farm-house in the west 
of Scotland, in order to dispose of some of his wares. The 
goodwife was startled by his southern accent, and his high 
talk about York, London, and other big places. " An' 
whaur come ye frae yersell ? " was the question of the 
gude wife. ^^ Ou, I am from the Border." "The Border — 
Oh ! I thocht that ; for we aye think the selvidge is the 
wakest bit o' the wab !" 

The following was a good specimen of ready Scotch 
humorous reply, by a master to his discontented workman, 
and in wliich he turned the tables upon him, in his reference 
to Scripture. In a town of one of the central counties a 
Mr. J — carried on, about a century ago, a very extensive 
business in the linen manufacture. Although strikes were 
then unknown among the labouring classes, the spirit from 
which these take their rise has no doubt at all times existed 
Among LIr. J — 's many workmen, one had given him con- 
stant annoyance for years, from his discontented and 
argumentative spirit. Insisting one day on getting some- 
thuig or other which his master thought most unreasonable, 
and refused to give in to, he at last submitted, with a bad 
grace, saying, " You're nae better than Pharaoh, sir, forcin 



180 REMINISCENCES OF 

puir folk to mak' bricks without straw." " Well, Saunders," 
quietly rejoined his master, "if I'm nae better than 
Pharaoh in one respect, I'll be better in another, for FU 
no hinder ye going to the wildeimess whenever ye chooseV 

Persons who are curious in Scottish stories of wit and 
humour, speak much of the sayings of a certain " Laird of 
Logan," who was a well-known character of the west of 
Scotland. This same Laird of Logan was at a meeting of 
the heritors of Cunmock, where a proposal was made to 
erect a new churchyard wall. He met the proposition with 
the dry remark, " I never big dykes till the tenants com- 
plain." 

The laird sold a horse to an Englishman, saying, ^^ You 
buy him as you see him ; but he's an honest beast." The 
purchaser took him home. In a few days he stumbled 
and fell, to the damage of his owm knees and his rider's 
head. On this the angry purchaser remonstrated with the 
laird, whose reply was, " Well, sir, I told you he was an 
honest beast ; many a time has he threatened to come 
down with me, and I kenned he would keep his word 
some day." 

At the time of the threatened invasion, the laird had 
been taunted at a meeting at Ayr with want of loyal spirit 
at Cunmock, as at that place no volunteer corps had been 
raised to meet the coming danger ; Cumnock, it should be 
recollected, being on a high situation, and ten or twelve 
miles from the coast. " What sort of people are you, up 
at Cumnock ?" said an Ayr gentleman ; " you have not a 
single volunteer !" "Never you heed," says Logan, very 
quietly ; " if the French land at Ayr, there will soon be 
plenty of volunteers up at Cumnock." 

A pendant to the story of candid admission on the part 
of the minister, that the people might be weary after his 
sermon, has been given on the authority of the narrator, a 
Fife gentleman, ninety years of age when he told it. He 
had been to church at Elie, and listening to a young and 
perhaps bombastic preacher, who happened to be officiating 



SCOTTISH LIFE <k CHARACTER. nX 

for tlie Rev. Dr. Milligan, who was in cliurcli. After 
service, meeting tlie Doctor in the passage, he introduced 
the young clergyman, who, on being asked by the old man 
how he did, elevated his shirt collar, and complained of 
fatigue, and being very much " tiredP " Tired, did ye say, 
my man ?" said the old satirist, who was slightly deaf ; 
" Lord, man ! if you're half as tired as I am I pity ye ! " 

I have been much pleased with an offering from 
Carluke, containing two very pithy anecdotes. Mr. 
Rankin very kindly writes, — " Your ' Reminiscences' are 
most refreshing. I am very little of a story collector, but 
I have recorded some of an old schoolmaster, who was a 
story-teller. As a sort of payment for the amusement 1 
have derived from your book, I shall give one or two." 

He sends the two following : — 

"Shortly after Mr. Kay had been inducted school- 
master of Carluke (1790) the bederal called at the school, 
verbally announcing, proclamation-ways, that Mrs. So-and- 
So's funeral would be on Fuirsday. ^At what hour?' 
asked the dominie. ' Ou, ony time atween ten and twa. 
At two o'clock of the day fixed, IVIr. Kay — quite a stranger 
to the customs of the district — arrived at the place, and 
was astonished to find a crowd of men and lads, standing 
here and there, some smoking, and all arglebargling^ as if 
at the end of a fair. He was instantly, but mysteriously, 
approached, and touched on the arm by a red-faced bare- 
headed man, who seemed to be in authority, and was 
beckoned to follow. On entering the barn, which was 
seated all round, he found numbers sitting, each with the 
head bent down, and each with his hat between his knees 
— all gravity and silence. Anon a voice was heard issuing 
from the far end, and a long prayer was uttered. They 
had worked at this^—what was called • a service^ during 
three previous hours, one party succeeding another, and 
many taking advantage of every service, which consisted of 

* Disputing or hand^dng words backwards and forwards. 



182 REMINISCENCES OF 

a prayer by way of grace, a glass of white wine, a glass of 
red wine, a glass of rum, and a prayer, by way of thanks- 
giving. After the long invocation, bread and ^dne passed 
round. Silence prevailed. Most partook of both rounds 
of wine, but when the rum came, many nodded refusal, 
and by-and-by the nodding seemed to be universal, and 
the trays passed on so much the more quickly. A sumphish 
vv^eather-beaten man, wdth a large flat blue bonnet on his 
knee, who had nodded unwittingly, and was about to lose 
the last chance of a glass of rum, raised his head, saying, 
amid the deep silence, * Od, I daursay I w\dl tak anither 
gless,' and in a sort of vengeful, yet apologetic tone, added, 
' the auld jaud yince cheated me wi' a cauve' (caK)." 

At a farmer's funeral in the country, an undertaker 
was in charge of the ceremonial, and directing how it was 
to proceed, when he noticed a little man giving orders, 
and, as he thought, rather encroaching upon the duties and 
privileges of his own office. He asked him, " And wha are 
ye, mi' man, that tak sae muckle on ye ?" ^^ Oh, dinna ye 
ken ?" said the man, under a strong sense of his own im- 
portance, " I'm the corp's brither ? " * 

Curious scenes took j)lace at funerals where there was, 
in times gone by, an unfortunate tendency to join with 
such solemnities more attention to festal entertainment 
than was becoming. A farmer, at the interment of his 
second wife, exercised a liberal hospitality to his friends at 
the inn near the church. On looking over the bill, tJie 
master defended the charge as moderate. But he reminded 
him, " Ye forget, man, that it's no ilka ane that brings a 
second funeral to your house." 

"Dr. Scott, minister of Carluke (1770), was a fine 
graceful kindly man, always stepping about in his bag wig 
and cane in hand, with a kind or ready word to every one. 
He was officiating at a bridal in his parish, where there was 
a goodly company, had partaken of the good cheer, and 

* In Scotland the remains of the deceased person is called 
the " Corp." 



SCOTTISH LIFE Jb CHARACTER. 183 

waited till the young people were fairly warmed in tht, 
dance. A dissenting body had sprung up in the parish, 
which he tried to tliink was beneath him even to notice, 
when he could help it, yet never seemed to feel at all 
keenly when the dissenters were alluded to. One of the 
chief leaders of this body was at the bridal, and felt it to 
be his bounden duty to call upon the minister for his 
reasons for sanctioning by his presence so sinful an enjoy- 
ment. * Weel, minister, what think ye o' this dancin' ?' 
* Why, John,' said the minister, blithely, ^ I think it an 
excellent exercise for young people, and I dare say, so do 
you.' * Ah, sir, I'm no sure about it ; I see nae authority 
for't in the Scriptures.' ^ Umph, indeed, John ; you cannot 
forget David.' ^ Ah, sir, Dauvid ; gif they were a' to dance 
as Dauvid did, it would be a different thing a' thegither.' 
' Hoot fie, hoot o fie, John ; would you have the young 
folk strip to the sarkT" 

Reference has been made to the eccentric laird of 
Balnamoon, his wig, and his " speats o' drinking and pray- 
ing." A story of this laird is recorded, which I do think 
is well named, by a correspondent who commimicates it, as 
a " quintessential phasis of dry Scotch humour," and the 
explanation of which would perhaps be thrown away upon 
any one who needed the explanation. The story is this : 
• — The laird riding past a high steep bank, stopped opposite 
a hole in it, and said, " John, I saw a brock gang in there." 
"Did ye?" said John; "wull ye hand my horse, sir?" 
" Certainly," said the laird, and away rushed John for a 
spade. After digging for half an hour, he came back, nigh 
q3eechless, to the laird, who had regarded him musingly. 
" I canna find him, sir," said John. " Deed," said the 
laird, very coolly, " I wad ha' wondered if ye had, for it's 
ten years sin' I saw him gang in there." 

Amongst many humorous colloquies between Balna- 
moon and his servant, the following must have been very 
racy and very original. The laird, accompanied by John, 
af ler a dinner party, \^'as riding, on his way home, through 



184 EEMINISCENCES OF 

a ford, when lie fell off into the water. "Whae's that 
fann," he inquired. " Deed," quoth John, " I witna an it 
be no your honour." 

We have more than once had occasion to mention the 
late Rev. Walter Dunlop of the U.P. Church, Dumfries. 
To a kind clerical correspondent in that neighbourhood, I 
am indebted for the following. He was very much esteemed 
by his congregation as a faithful and affectionate minister. 
Few men equalled him for racy humour and originality. 
!Many anecdotes are recorded of him in connection with his 
ministerial visitations. He was firmly persuaded that the 
workman was worthy of his meat, and he did not hesitate 
occasionally to intimate how agreeable certain '^ presents^'^ 
would be to him and his better-half. He was widely 
respected by all denominations, and his death was greatly 
lamented. 

One evening, while making his pastoral visitations 
among some of the country members of his flock, he came 
to a farm-house where he w^as expected ; and the mistress, 
thinking that he would be in need of refreshment, proposed 
that he should take his tea before engaging in exercises, and 
said she would soon have it ready. Mr. Dunlop replied, 
" I aye tak' my tea better when my wark's dune. I'll just 
be gaun on. Ye can hing the pan on, an' lea' the door 
ajar, an' I'll draw to a close in the prayer when I hear the 
haam fizzin'." 

Another day, while engaged in the same duty of \dsi- 
tation, and while offering up prayer, a peculiar sound was 
heard to issue from his great-coat pocket, which w^as after- 
wards discovered to have proceeded from a half-choked 
duck, which he " had gotten in a present ^^ and whose neck 
he had been squeezing all the time to prevent its crying. 

On another occasion, after a hard day's labour, and 
w^hile at a ** denner-tea," as he called it, he kept incessantly 
praising the " haam," and stating that " Mrs. Dunlop at 
hame was as fond o' haam like that as he was," when the 
mistress kindly offered to send her the present of a ham* 



SCOTTISH LIFE dh CHARACTEB^ 185 

" It's unco kin' o' ye, unco kin', but I'll no pit ye to the 
trouble ; I'll just tak' it hanie on the horse afore me." 
When, on leaving, lie mounted, and the bam was put into 
a sack, some difficulty was experienced in getting it to lie 
properly. His inventive genius soon cut tbe Gordian-knot. 
" I think, mistress, a cheese in the ither en' wad mak' a 
gran' balance." The hint was immediately acted on, and, 
like another John Gilpin, he moved away with his "balance 
true." 

One day, returning from a short visit to the country, 
he met two ladies in Buccleuch Street, who stopped him 
to inquire after his weKare, and that of his wife. Lifting 
his hat politely, to the consternation of all three, out 
tumbled to his feet his handkerchief, followed by a large 
lump of potted-head, which he had received in a " present," 
and was thus carrying home, but which, at the moment, 
he had entirely forgotten. 

One Sunday, after sermon, just before pronouncing the 
blessing, he made the following intimation : — " My freens, 
I hae a baaptism at Locharbriggs the nicht, an' maybe 
some o' ye wad be sae kin' as to gie me a cast oot in a 
dandy-cart." On descending from the pulpit, several 
vehicles of the description were placed at his service. 

He would not allow any of his congregation to sleep 
in church, if his eye caught them. One day he suddenly 
stopped in his sermon, and said, " I doot some o' ye hae 
taen ower mony whey porridge the day ; sit up, or I'll 
name ye oot." 

Some four-and-twenty years ago, when Mr. Dunlop lost 
his excellent and amiable wife, to whom it was well known 
he was strongly attached. Dr. Wightman, parish minister 
of Kirkmahoe, in the immediate neighbouihood of Dum- 
fries, then upwards of seventy years of age and a bachelor, 
was invited to the funeral. On entering the house, he was 
surprised to observe that Mr. Dunlop. now a widower for 
a second time, did not appear to be so much affected as he 
would have expected, and indeed seemed wonderfully com- 



186 REMINISCENCES OF 

posed and cheerful. His peculiar humour could not be 
repressed even on tliis occasion, for lie said, " Come awa^ 
Dr. Wightman, come awa'; it will l)e lang to the day when 
ye hae onything o' this kind to do." 

It is more common in Scotland than in England to find 
national feeling breaking out in national humour upon 
great events connected with national history. The follow- 
ing is, perhaps, as good as any : — The Eev. Eobert Scott, 
a Scotchman who forgets not Scotland in his southern 
vicarage, and whom I have named before as having sent 
me some good reminiscences, tells me that, at Inverary, 
some thirty years ago, he could not help overhearing the 
conversation of some Lowland cattle-dealers in the public 
room in which he was. The subject of the bravery of our 
navy being started, one of the interlocutors expressed his 
surprise that Nelson should have issued his signal at 
Trafalgar in the terms, " England expects ^^ etc. He was 
met with the answer (which seemed highly satisfactory to 
the rest), " Ay, Nelson only said ^ expects'* of the English ; 
he said naething of Scotland, for he kent the Scotch would 
do theirs." 

I am assured the following manifestation of national 
feeling against the memory of a Scottish public character 
. actually took place within a few years : — ^Williamson (the 
Duke of Buccleuch's huntsman) was one afternoon riding 
home from hunting through Haddington ; and as he passed 
the old abbey, he saw an ancient woman looking through 
the iron grating in front of the burial-place of the Lauder- 
dale family, holding by the bars, and grinning and dancing 
with rage. " Eh, gudewife," said Williamson, " what ails 
ye ]" "It's the Duke o' Lauderdale," cried she. " Eh, if 
I could win at him, I wud rax the banes o' him." 

To this class belongs the following complacent Scottish 
remark upon Bannockburn. A splenetic Englishman said 
to a Scottish countryman, something of a wag, that no man 
of taste would think of remaining any time in such a 
country as Scotland. To which the camiy Scott replied, 



SCOTTISH LIFE d; CHARACTER. 187 

" Tastes differ ; Tse tak ye to a place, no far frae Stirling, 
whaur thretty thousand o* yer countrymen ha' been for 
five hunder years, an' they've nae thocht o' leavin' yet." 

In a similar spirit, an honest Scotch farmer, who had 
sent some sheep to compete at a great English agricultural 
cattle-show, consoled himseK for the disappointment by 
insinuating that the judges could hardly act quite imparti- 
ally by a Scottish competitor, complacently remarking, 
" It's aye been the same since Bannockburn." 

A north-country drover had, however, a more tangible 
opportunity of gratifying his national animosity against the 
Southron, and of which he availed himself. Returning 
homewards, after a somewhat unsuccessful journey, and 
not in very good humour with the Englishers, when pass- 
ing through Carlisle, he saw a notice stuck up, offering a 
reward of £50 for any one who would do a piece of service 
to the community, by officiating as executioner of the law 
on a noted criminal then under sentence of death. Seeing 
a chance to make up for his bad market, and comforted 
with the assurance that he was unknown there, he under- 
took the office, hanged the rogue, and got the fee. When 
moving off with the money, he was twitted as a mean 
beggarly Scot, doing for money what no Englishman 
would ; he replied with a grin and quiet glee, " I'll hang 
ye a' at the price." 

Some Scotchmen no doubt have a very complacent 
feeling regarding the superiority of their countrymen, and 
make no hesitation in proclaiming their opinion. I have 
always admired the quaint expression of such belief in a 
case which has recently been reported to me. A young 
Englishman had taken a Scottish shooting-ground, and 
enjoyed his mountain sport so much as to imbibe a strong 
partiality for his northern residence and all its accompani- 
ments. At a German watering-place he encountered, next 
year, an original character, a Scotchman of the old school, 
very national and somewhat bigoted in his nationality : he 
determined to pass himself off' to him as a genuine Scottish 



188 BEMimSCENGES OF 

native ; and, accordingly, lie talked of Scotland and liaggis, 
and sheep's head and whisky ; he boasted of Bannockburii, 
and admired Queen Mary ; looked upon Scott and Burns 
as superior to all English writers ; and staggered, although 
he did not convince, the old gentleman. On going away 
he took leave of his Scottish friend, and said, " Well, sir, 
next time we meet, I hope you will receive n;e as a real 
countryman." "TVeel," he said, "I'm jest thinkin', my 
lad, ye're nae Scotchman ; but I'll tell ye w^hat ye are — 
ye're jest an imi:>ruived Englishman." 

We find in the conversation of old people frequent 
mention of parochial functionaries, now either become 
commonplace, like the rest of the world, or removed alto- 
gether, and shut up in poor-houses or mad-houses — I mean 
parish idiots — eccentric, or somewhat crazy, useless, idle 
creatures, who used to wander about from house to house, 
and sometimes made very shrewd, sarcastic remarks upon 
what was going on in the parish. They used to take great 
liberty of speech regarding the conduct and disposition of 
those with whom they came in contact ; and many odd 
sayings which emanated from the parish idiots were tradi- 
tionary in country localities. I have a kindly feeling 
towards these imperfectly intelligent, but often perfectly 
cunning beings ; partly I believe from recollections of early 
associations in boyish days with some of those Davy 
Gellatleys. I have therefore preserved several anecdotes 
with which I have been favoured, where their odd sayings 
and indications of a degree of mental activity have been 
recorded. Parish idiots seem to have had a partiality for 
getting near the pulpit in church, and their presence there 
was accordingly sometimes annoying to the preacher and 
the congregation ; as at May bole, when Dr. Paul, now 
of St. Cuthbert's, was minister in 1823, the idiot John 
McLymont had been in the habit of standing so close to the 
pulpit door as to overlook the Bible and pulpit board. 
A^Tien required, however, by the clergyman to keep at a 
greater distance, and not hoh in upon the minister ^ he got 



SCOTTISH LIFE d: CEARACTEK 189 

intensely angry and violent. He threatened the minister^ 
— "Sir, bseby (maybe) I'll come further;" meaning to 
intimate that perhaps he would, if much provoked, come 
into the pulpit altogether. This, indeed, actually took 
place on another occasion, and the tenure of the ministerial 
position was justified by an argument of a most amusing 
nature. The circumstance, I am assured, happened in a 
parish of the north. The clergyman, on coming into church, 
found the pulpit occupied by the parish idiot. The 
authorities had been unable to remove him without more 
violence than was seemly, and therefore waited for the 
minister to dispossess Tam of the place he had assumed. 
" Come down, sir, immediately ! " was the peremptory and 
indignant call ; and on Tam being unmoved, it was repeated 
with still greater energy. Tam, however, replied looking 
down confidentially from his elevation, " Na, na, minister \ 
juist ye come up wi' me. This is a perverse generation, 
and faith they need us baith." It is curious to mark the 
Bort of glimmering of sense, and even of discriminating 
thought displayed by persons of this class ; as an example, 
take a conversation held by this same idiot, John McLymont, 
with Dr. Paul, whom he met some time after. He seemed 
to have recovered his good humour, as he stopped him, and 
said, " Sir, I would like to speer a question at ye on a sub- 
ject that's troubling me." " Well, Johnnie, what is the 
question ?" To which he replied, " Sir, is it lawful at ony 
time to tell a lee ?" The minister desired to know what 
Johnnie himself thought upon the point. " Weel, sir," said 
he, " I'll no say but in every case it's wrang to tell a lee ; 
but," added he, looking archly and giving a knowing wink, 
** I think there are icaur lees than ithersP * How, Johnnie ?" 
and then he instantly replied with all the simplicity of a 
fool, " to keep doivn a din for instance, I'll no say but a 
man does wrang in telling a lee to keep down a din, but 
I'm sure he does not do half sae muckle wrang as a man 
who tells a lee to kick up a deevilment o* a din." This 
opened a question not likely to occur to such a mind. Mr. 



190 REMINISCENCES OF 

Aslier, minister of Inveraven, in Morayshire, narrated to 
Dr. Paul a curious example of want of intelligence combined 
with a power of cunning to redress a fancied wrong, shown 
by a poor natural of the parish, who had been seized with 
a violent inflammatory attack, and was in great danger. 
The medical attendant saw it necessary to bleed him, but 
he resisted, and would not submit to it. At last the case 
became so hopeless that they were obliged to use force, and, 
holding his hands and feet, the doctor opened a vein and 
drew blood, upon which the poor creature, struggling 
violently, bawled out, "0 doctor, doctor ! you'll kill me ! 
you'll kill me ! and depend upon it, the first thing I'll do 
when I get to the other world mil be to rejwrt you to the 
Board of Supervision there, and get you dismissedP A most 
extraordinary sensation was once produced on- a congregation 
by Rab Hamilton, a well-remembered idiot of the west 
country, on the occasion of his attendance at the parish-kirk 
of " Auld Ayr, wham ne'er a toun surpasses." Miss Kirk- 
wood, Bothwell, relates the story from the recollection of 
her aunt, who was present. Rab had put his head between 
some iron rails, the first intimation of which to the congre- 
gation was a stentorian voice crying out, " Murder ! my 
head '11 hae to be cutit aff ! Holy minister ! congregation ! 
O my head maun be cutit aff. It's a judgment for leavhig 
my godlie Mr. Peebles at the Newton." After he had been 
extricated and quieted, when asked why he put his head 
there ? he said, " It was jeest to look on"^ wi' o.nither 
womanP 

The pathetic complaint of one of this class, residing at 
a farm-house, has often been narrated, and forms a good 
illustration of idiot life and feelings. He was li\ing in the 
greatest comfort, and every want provided. But, like the 
rest of mankind, he had his own trials, and his own cause 
for anxiety and annoyance. In this poor fellow's case it 
was the great turkey-cock at the farm, of whom he stood so 

* Read from the same book. 



SCOTTISH LIFE d: CEAEACTEn. 191 

terribly in awe, that lie was afraid to come within a great 
distance of his enemy. Some of his friends coming to visit 
him, reminded him how comfortable he was, and how 
grateful he ought to be for the great care taken of him ; 
he admitted the truth of the remark generally, but still, 
like others, he had his unknown grief which sorely beset 
his path in life. There was a secret grievance whicli 
embittered his lot ; and to his friend he thus opened his 
heart : — " Ae, ae, but oh, I'm sare hadden doun wi' the 
bubbly jock." ^ 

I have received two anecdotes illustrative both of the 
occasional acuteness of mind, and of the sensitiveness of 
feeling occasionally indicated by persons thus situated. A 
well-known idiot, Jamie Fraser, belonging to the parish of 
Liman, in Forfarshire, quite surprised people sometimes by 
his replies. The congregation of his parish-church had for 
sometime distressed the minister by their habit of sleeping 
in church. He had often endeavoured to impress them 
with a sense of the impropriety of such conduct, and one 
day when Jamie was sitting in the front gallery wide 
awake, when many were slumbering round him, the 
clergyman endeavoured to awaken the attention of his 
hearers by stating the fact, saying, " You see even Jamie 
Fraser, the idiot, does not fall asleep, as so many of you 
are doing." Jamie, not liking, perhaps, to be thus desig- 
nated, coolly replied, " An' I hadna been an idiot, I micht 
ha' been sleepin' too." Another of these imbeciles, 
belonging to Peebles, had been sitting at church for some 
time listening attentively to a strong representation from 
the pulpit of the guilt of deceit and falsehood in Christian 
characters. He was observed to turn red, and grow very 
imeasy, until at last, as if wincing under the supposed 
attack upon himself personally, he roared out, " Indeed, 
minister, there's mair leears in Peebles than me." As 
examples of idiots possessing much of the dry humour of 

* Sorely kept under by the turkey-cock. 



192 REMINISCENCES OF 

their more sane countrymen, and of their facility to utter 
sly and ready-witted sa}dngs, I have received the two 
following from Mr. W. Chambers : — Daft Jock Gray, the 
supposed original of David Gellatley, was one day assailed 
by the minister of a south-country parish, on the subject of 
his idleness. " John," said the minister, rather pompously, 
" you are a very idle fellow ; you might surely herd a few 
cows." "Me hird !" replied Jock, " I dinna ken corn frae 
gerse." 

In the Memorials of the Montgomeries, Earls of Eglinton, 
vol. i. p. 134, occurs an anecdote of an idiot illustrative of 
the peculiar acuteness and quaint humour which occasionally 
mark the sayings of this class. There was a certain " Daft 
Will Speir," who was a privileged haunter of Eglinton 
Castle and grounds. He was discovered by the Earl one 
day taking a near cut, and crossing a fence in the demesne. 
The Earl called out, " Come back, sir, that's not the road." 
"Do you ken," said Will, " whaur Fm gaun?" "No," 
replied his lordship. "Weel, hoo the deil do ye ken 
whether this be the road or no ?" 

The following anecdote is told regarding the late Lord 
Dundrennan : — A half silly basket-woman passing down his 
avenue at Compstone one day, he met her, and said, " My 
good woman, there's no road this way." "Na, sir," she 
said, " I think ye're wrang there ; I think it's a most 
beautifu' road." 

These poor creatures have invariably a great delight in 
attending funerals. In many country places, hardly a 
funeral ever took place without the attendance of the 
parochial idiot. It seemed almost a necessary association ; 
and such attendance seemed to constitute the great delight 
of those creatures. I have myself witnessed again and 
again the sort of funeral scene portrayed by Sir Walter 
Scott, who no doubt took his description from what was 
common in his day. " The funeral pomp set forth — saulies 
with their batons and gumphions of tarnished white crape, 
Six starved horses, themselves the very emblems of 



SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 193 

mortaKty, well cloaked and plimied, lugging along the 
hearse with its dismal emblazonry, crept in slow pace towards 
the place of interment, preceded by Jamie Duff, an idiot, 
who, with weepers and cravat made of white paper, attended 
on every funeral, and followed by six mourning coaches filled 
Avith the company." — Guy Mannering, 

The following anecdote, supplied by Mr. Blair, is an 
amusing illustration, both of the funeral propensity, and of 
the working of a defective brain, in a haK-witted carle, who 
used to range the county of Galloway, armed with a huge 
pike-staff, and who one day met a funeral procession a 
few miles from Wigtown. A long train of carriages, and 
farmers riding on horseback, suggested the propriety of his 
bestriding his staff, and following after the funeral. The 
procession marched at a brisk pace, and on reaching the 
kirkyard style, as each rider dismounted, " Daft Jock" de- 
scended from his wooden steed, besmeared with mire and 
perspiration, exclaiming, " Hech, sirs, had it no been for 
the fashion o' the thing, I micht as well hae been on my 
ain feet." 

The withdrawal of these characters from public view, 
and the loss of importance which they once enjoyed in 
Scottish society, seem to me inexplicable. Have they 
ceased to exist, or are they removed from our sight to 
different scenes ? The fool was, in early times, a very 
important personage in most Scottish households of anj 
distinction. Indeed, this had been so common as to be a 
public nuisance. 

It seemed that persons assumed the character, for we 
find a Scottish Act of Parliament, dated 19th January 
1449, with this title : — " Act for the way-putting of 
Fenyent Fules," etc. (Thomson's Acts of Parliament of 
Scotland, vol. i.) ; and it enacts very stringent measures 
against such persons. They seem to have formed a link 
between the helpless idiot and the boisterous madman, 
sharing the eccentricity of the latter and the stupidity of 
the former, generally adding, however, a good deal of the 





194 REMINISCENCES OF 

sharp-wittedness of the hnave. Up to the middle of the 
eighteenth century, this appears to have been still an ap- 
pendage to some families. I have before me a little 
publication with the title, "The Life and Death of Jamie 
Fleeman, the Laird of Udny*s FooL Tenth edition. Aber- 
deen, 181 0." With Portrait. Also twenty-sixth edition, of 
1829. I should suppose this account of a family fool was 
a fair representation of a good specimen of the class. He 
was evidently of defective intellect, but at times showed 
the odd humour and quick conclusion which so often mark 
the disordered brain. I can only now give two examples 
taken from his history : — Having found a horse-shoe on 
the road, he met Mr. Craigie, the minister of St. Fergus, 
and showed it to him, asking, in pretended ignorance, what 
it was. " Why, Jamie," said Mr. Craigie, good-humouredly, 
" anybody that was not a fool would know that it is a horse 
shoe." " Ah !" said Jamie, with affected simplicity, " what 
it is to be wise — to ken it*s no a meer's shoe ! " 

On another occasion, when all the country-side were 
hastening to the Perth races, Jamie had cut across the 
fields and reached a bridge near the town, and sat down 
upon the parapet. He commenced munching away at a large 
portion of a leg of mutton which he had somehow become 
possessed of, and of which he was amazingly proud. The 
laird came riding past, and seeing Jamie sitting on the 
bridge, accosted him : — " Ay, Fleeman, are ye here al- 
ready ? " " Ou ay," quoth Fleeman, with an air of assumed 
flignity and archness not easy to describe, while his eye 
glanced significantly towards the mutton, " Ou ay, ye ken a 
body when he has onyihingV 

Of witty retorts by half-witted creatures of this class, 
I do not know of one more pointed than what is recorded 
of such a character, who used to hang about the residence 
of a late Lord Fife. It would appear that some parts of his 
lordship's estates were barren, and in a very unproductive 
condition. Under the improved system of agriculture and 
of draining, great preparations had been made for securing 



SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 195 

a good crop in a certain field, where Lord Fife, his factor, 
and others interested in the subject, were collected together. 
There was much discussion, and some difference of opinion 
as to the crop with which the field had best be sown. The 
idiot retainer, who had been listening unnoticed to all that 
was said, at last cried out, " Saw't wi' factors, ma lord ; they 
are sure to thrive everywhere." 

"Daft Will Speir" (mentioned page 192) was passing 
the minister's glebe, where haymaking was in progress. 
The minister asked Will if he thought the weather would 
keep up, as it looked rather like rain. " Weel," said Will, 
'^ I canna be very sure, but I'll be passin' this way the 
nicht, an' I'll ca' in and tell ye." "Well, WiU," said his 
master one day to him, seeing that he had just finished his 
dinner, " have you had a good dinner to-day ?" (Will had 
been grumbling some time before). " Ou, vera gude," 
answered Will ; " but gin onybody asks if I got a dram 
after' t, what will I say 1 " This poor creature had a high 
sense of duty. It appears he had been given the charge of 
the coal stores at the Earl of Eglinton's. Having on one 
occasion been reprimanded for allowing the supplies to run 
out before further supplies were ordered, he was ever after- 
wards most careful to fulfil his duty. In course of time 
poor Will became " sick unto death," and the minister came 
to see him. Thinking him in really a good frame of mind, 
the minister asked him, in presence of the laird and others, 
if there were not one great thought which was ever to him 
the highest consolation in his hour of trouble ? " Ou ay," 
gasped the sufferer, " Lord be thankit, a' the bunkers are 
fu'." 

There was an idiot who lived long in Lauder, and seems 
to have had a great resemblance to the jester of old times. 
He was a staunch supporter of the EstabKshed Church. 
One day, some one gave him a bad shilling. On Sunday 
he went to the Seceders' meeting-house, and when the ladle 
was taken round he put in his bad shilling and took out 
elevenpence halfpenny. Aftexwards he went in high glee 



196 REMINISCENCES OF 

to the late Lord Lauderdale, calling out, " I've cheated the 
Seceders the day, my lord ; I've cheated the Seceders." 

Jemmy had long harboured a dislike to the steward on 
the property, which he paid off in the following manner : 
Lord Lauderdale and Sir Anthony Maitland used to take 
him out shooting ; and one day Lord Maitland (he was 
then) on having to cross the Leader, said, " Now, Jemmy, 
you shall carry me through the water," which Jemmy 
duly did. Lord Lauderdale's steward, to whom he had 
taken a great dislike, and who was shooting with them, 
said, " Now, Jemmy, you must carry me over." " Vera 
weel," said Jemmy. He took the steward on his back, 
and when he had carefully carried him half way across the 
river, he dropped him quietly into the water. 

I have recorded an anecdote received from ^Ir. W. 
Chambers, of a half -idiot, Rab Hamilton, whose name was 
familiar to most persons who knew Ayr in former days. 
He certainly was a natural ; but the following anecdote of 
him from a kind correspondent at Ayr sanctions the 
opinion that he must have occasionally said such clevei 
things as made some think him more rogue than fool. Dr. 
Auld often showed him kindness, but being once addressed 
by him when in a hurry and out of humour, he said, '^ Get 
away, Rab ; I have nothing for you to-day." "Whaw, 
whew,'* cried Rab, in a half howl, half whining tone, " I 
dinna want onything the day, Mister Auld ; I wanted to 
tell you an awsome dream I hae had. I dreamt I was deed." 
" Weel, what then ?" said Dr. Auld. " Ou, I was carried 
far, far, and up, up, up, till I cam to heeven's yett, where 
I chappit, and chappit, and chappit, tUL at last an angel 
keekit out, and said, ^ Wha are ye ? ' * A'm puir Rab 
Hamilton.' ' Whaur are ye frae ? ' ^ Frae the wicked toun 
o' Ayr.' ^ I dinna ken ony sic place,' said the angel. ' Oh, 
but A'm joost frae there.' Weel, the angel sends for the 
Apostle Peter, and Peter comes wi' his key and opens the 
yett, and says to me, ^ Honest man, do you come frae the 
auld toun o' Ayr,' 'Deed do 1/ says I. 'Weel,' says 



SCOTTISH LIFE <fc CHARACTER. 197 

Peter, * I ken tlie place, but naebody's cam frae the toun o' 
Ayr, no simce the year ' " so and so — mentioning the year 
when Dr. Auld was inducted into the parish. Dr. Auld 
could not resist giving him his answer, and telling him to 
go about his business. 

A daft individual used to frequent the same district, 
about whom a variety of opinions were entertained, — some 
people thinking him not so foolish as he sometimes seemed. 
On one occasion, a person, wishing to test whether he knew 
the value of money, held out a sixpence and a penny, and 
offered him his choice. " Til tak the wee ane," he says, 
giving as his modest reason, " Tse no be greedy." At 
another time, a miller laughing at him for his witlessness, 
he said, " Some things I ken, and some I dinna ken." On 
being asked what he knew, he said, ^* I ken a miller has 
aye a gey fat sou." " An' what d'ye no ken ?" said the miller. 
" Ou," he returned, " I dinna ken wha's expense she's fed at." 

A very amusing collision of one of these penurious 
lairds abeady referred to, a certain Mr. Gordon of Rothy, 
with a half-daft beggar wanderer of the name of Jock 
Muilton, has been recorded. The laird was very shabby, 
as usual, and, meeting Jock, began to banter him on the 
subject of his dress : — ^^ Ye're very grand, Jock. That's 
fine claes ye hae gotten ; whaur did ye get that coat ? " 
Jock told him who had given him his coat, and then, looking 
slily at the laird, he inquired, as with great simplicity, " And 
where did ye get yours, laird ? " 

Another example of shrewd and ready humour in one 
of that class is the following. In this case the idiot was 
musical, and earned a few stray pence by playing Scottish 
airs on a flute. He resided at Stirling, and used to hang 
about the door of the inn to watch the arrival and departme 
of travellers. A lady who used to give him something 
occasionally, was just starting, and said to Jamie that she 
had only a fourpenny piece, and that he must be content 
with that, for she could not stay to get more. Jamie was 
not satisfied, and, as the lady drove out, expressed his feel- 



198 REMINISCENCES OF 

ings by playing with all his might, " weerie o' Ihe loom 
pouchr ^ 

The spirit in Jamie Fraser before mentioned, and 
which had kept him awake, shows itself in idiots occasion- 
ally by making them restless and troublesome. One of 
this character had annoyed the clerg}^man where he 
attended church by fidgetting and by uncouth sounds, 
which he uttered during divine service. Accordingly, one 
day before church began, he was cautioned against moving 
or " making a whisht," under the penalty of being turned 
out. The poor creature sat quite still and silent till, in a 
very important part of the sermon, he felt an inclination 
to cough. So he shouted out, " Minister, may a puir body 
like me noo gie a hoast ?"t 

I have two anecdotes of two peers, who might be said 
to come imder the description of half-witted. In their case, 
the same sort of dry Scottish humour came out under the 
cloak of mental disease. The first is of a Scottish nobleman 
of the last century who had been a soldier the greater part 
of his life, but was obliged to come home on account of 
aberration of mind, superinduced by hereditary propensity. 
Desirous of putting him under due restraint, and, at the 
same time, of engaging his mind in his favourite pursuit, 
his friends secured a Serjeant Briggs to be his companion 
and overseer ; and to render the Serjeant acceptable as a 
companion, they introduced him to the old earl as Colonel 
Briggs. Being asked how he liked " the colonel," the earl 
showed how acute he still was by his answer, " Oh, very 
well ; he is a sensible man, and a good soldier, but he 
smells damnahly of the halhertr 

The second anecdote is of a mad Scottish nobleman, 
and I believe is a traditionary one. In Scotland, some 
hundred years ago, madhouses did not exist, or were on a 
very limited scale ; and there was often great difl&culty in 
procuring suitable accommodation for patients who required 

* Empty pocket. f A cough. 



SCOTTISH LIFE cfc CEARACTER, 19S 

special treatment and seclusion from the world. The 
nobleman in question had been consigned to the Canongate 
prison, and his position there was far from comfortable. 
An old friend called to see him, and asked how it had 
happened that he was placed in so unpleasant a situation. 
His reply was, " Sir, it was more the kind interest and 
patronage of my friends than my own merits that have 
placed me here." " But have you not remonstrated or com- 
plained V asked his visitor. " I told them," said his lord- 
ship, " that they were a pack of infernal villains." " Did 
you ?" said his friend ; " that was bold language ; and 
what did they say to that?" "Oh," said the peer, "I 
took care not to tell them till they were fairly out of the 
place, and weel up the Canongate." 

In Peebles there was a crazy being of this kind called 
" Daft Yedie." On one occasion he saw a gentleman, a 
stranger in the town, who had a club foot. Yedie con- 
templated this phenomenon with some interest, and 
addressing the gentleman, said compassionately, " It's a 
great pity — it spoils the boot." There is a story of one of 
those half-witted creatures of a different character from the 
humorous ones already recorded ; I think it is exceedingly 
affecting, and with it I will conclude my collection. The 
story is traditionary in a country district, and I am not 
aware of its being ever printed. A poor boy, of this class, 
who had evidently manifested a tendency towards religious 
and devotional feelings, asked permission from the clergy- 
man to attend the Lord's Table and partake of the holy 
communion with the other members of the congregation 
(whether Episcopalian or Presbyterian I do not know). 
The clergyman demurred for some time, under the impres- 
sion of his mind being incapable of a right and due under- 
standing of the sacred ordinance. But observing the 
extreme earnestness of the poor boy, at last give consent, 
and he was allowed to come. He was much affected, and 
all the way home was heard to exclaim, " Oh ! I hae seen 
the pretty man." This referred to his seeing the Lord 



200 REMINISCENCES OF 

Jesus, whom he had approached in the sacrament. He 
kept repeating the words, and went with them on his 
lips to rest for the night. Not appearing at the usual 
hour for breakfast, when they went to his bedside they 
found him dead ! The excitement had been too much — 
mind and body had given way — and the haK-idiot of 
earth aw^oke to the glories and the bliss of his Redeemer's 
presence. 

Analogous with the language of the defective intellect 
is the language of the imperfectly-formed intellect, and I 
have often thought there was something very touching and 
very fresh in the expression of feelings and notions by 
children. I have given an example before, but the follow- 
ing is, to my taste, a charming specimen : — A little boy 
had lived for some time with a very penurious uncle, who 
took good care that the child's health should not be injured 
by over-feeding. The uncle was one day walking out, the 
child at his side, when a friend accosted him, accompanied 
by a greyhound. While the elders were talking, the little 
fellow, never having seen a dog of so slim and slight a 
texture, clasped the creature round the neck with the im- 
passioned cry, "Oh, doggie, doggie, and div ye live wi' 
your uncle tae, that ye are so thin !" 

In connection wdth funerals, I am indebted to the 
kindness of Lord Kinloch for a characteristic anecdote of 
cautious Scottish character in the west country. It was 
the old fashion, still practised in some districts, to carry 
the coffin to the grave on long poles or " spokes," as they 
were commonly termed. There were usually two bearers 
abreast on each side. On a certain occasion, one of the 
two said to his companion, " I'm awfu' tired wi' carryin'." 
"Do you carry ? " was the interrogatory in reply. " Yes ; 
what do you do ? " " Oh," said the other, " I aye leanP 
His friend's fatigue was at once accounted for. 

I am strongly tempted to give the following account 
of a parish functionary in the words of a kind correspondent 
from Kilmarnock, although communicated in the following 



SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTEE. 201 

very flattering terms : — " In common with every Scottish 
man worthy of the name, I have been delighted with youi 
book, and have the ambition to add a pebble to the cairn, 
and accordingly send you a bellman story ; it has, at least, 
the merit of being nnprinted and unedited " 

The incumbent of Craigie parish, in this district of 
Ayrshire, had asked a Mr. Wood, tutor in the Cairnhill 
family, to officiate for him on a particular Sunday. Mr. 
Wood, however, between the time of being asked and the 
appointed day, got intimation of the dangerous illness of 
his father ; in the hurry of setting out to see him, he 
forgot to arrange for the pulpit being filled. The bellman 
of Craigie parish, by name Matthew Sinning, and at this 
time about eighty years of age, was a very little " crined"* 
old man, and always wore a broad Scottish blue bonnet, 
with a red " bob " on the top. The parish is a small rural 
one, so that Matthew knew every inhabitant in it, and had 
seen the most 'of them grow up. On this particular day, 
after the congregation had waited for some time, Matthew 
was seen to walk very slowly up the middle of the church 
with the large Bible and psalm-book under his arm, to 
mount the pulpit stair ; and after taking his bonnet oil', 
and smoothing down his forehead with his "loof," thus 
addressed the audience : — 

" My freens, there was ane Wuds tae hae preached here 
the day, but he has nayther comed himsel', nor had the 
ceevility tae sen' us the scart o' a pen. Ye'll bide here for 
ten meenonts, and gin naebody comes forrit in that time, 
ye can gang awa' hame. Some say his feyther's dead, as 
for that I kenna." 

The following is another illustration of the character of 
the old Scottish betheral. One of those worthies, who was 
parochial grave-digger, had been missing for two days or so, 
and the minister had in vain sent to discover him at most 
likely places. He bethought, at last, to make inquiry at a 



Shrivelled. 



202 REMINISCENCES OF 

" public " at some distance from tlie village, and on entering 
the door he met his man in the trance, quite fou, staggering 
out, supporting him self with a hand on each wa\ To the 
minister's sharp rebuke and rising wrath for his indecent 
and shameful behaviour, John, a wag in his way, and em- 
boldened by liquor, made answer, " Deed, sir, siu' I ca'd at 
the manse, I hae buried an auld wife, and I've just drucken 
her, hough and horn." Such was his candid admission of 
the manner in which he had disposed of the church fees 
paid for the interment. 

An encounter of wits between a laird and an elder : — A 
certain laird in Fife, well known for his parsimonious habits, 
whilst his substance largely increased did not increase his 
liberality, and his weekly contribution to the church collec- 
tion never exceeded the sum of one penny. One day, how- 
ever, by mistake he dropped into the plate at the door a 
five-shilling-piece, but discovering his error before he was 
seated in his pew, hurried back, and was about to replace 
the dollar by his customary penny, when the elder ii 
attendance cried out, '' Stop, laird ; ye may put in what ye 
like, but ye maun tak naething outP^ The laird, finding 
his explanations went for nothing, at last said, "Aweel, I 
suppose I'll get credit for it in heaven." " Na, na, laird," 
said the elder, " ye'll only get credit for the penny. ^^ 

The following is not a bad specimen of Aj piper wit : — 

The Rev. !Mr. Johnstone of Monquhitter, a very grandi- 
loquent pulpit orator in his day, accosting a travelling 
piper, well knowra in the district, with the question, " Well, 
John, how does the wind pay ? " received from John, with 
a low bow, the answer, " Your Reverence has the advantage 
of me." 

Of table stories there is an anecdote which may be placed 
along with those of the two worthy farmers, p. 164, and 
which has occurred to my recollection as a Deeside story. 
My aunt, Mrs. Forbes, receiving a farmer at Banchory Lodge, 
offered him a draught of ale, which was accepted, and a 
large glass of it quickly drunk offl My aunt observing no 



SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 203 

froth or head, said she was afraid it was not a good bottle. 
" Oh, vera good, mem ; it's just some strong o' the apple" 
(a common country expression for beer which is rather tart 
or sharp). The fact turned out that a bottle of vinegar had 
been decanted by mistake. 

And further, upon the subject of tenants at table. It 
was a most pungent remark of an honest farmer to the 
servant who put down beside him a dessert-spoon, when he 
had been helped to pudding, " Tak it awa, mi man ; mi 
mou's as big for puddin* as it is for kail." 

I have received from Eev. William Blair, AJVf., U.P. 
minister at Dunblane, many kind communications. I have 
made a selection, which I now group together, and they have 
this character in conmion, that they are all anecdotes of 
ministers : — 

Rev. Walter Dunlop of Dumfries was accompanying a 
funeral one day, when he met a man driving a flock of geese. 
The wayward disposition of the bipeds at the moment was 
too much for the driver's temper, and he indignantly cried 
out, " Deevil choke them ! " ]VIr. Dunlop walked a little 
further on, and passed a farm-stead, where a servant was 
driving out a number of swine, and banning them with 
" Deevil tak them !" Upon which, ]\Ir. Dunlop stepped up 
to him, and said, " Ay, ay, my man, your gentlem&a'U be 
wi' ye r the noo ; he's just back the road there a bit, chok- 
ing some geese till a man." 

Shortly after the disruption. Dr. Cook of St. Andrews 
was introduced to ^Ir. Dunlop, upon which occasion Mr. 
Dunlop said, "Weel, sir, ye've been lang Cook, Cooking 
them, but yeVe dished them at last." 

Mr. Clark of Dalreoch, whose head was vastly dispropor- 
tioned to his body, met IVIr. Dunlop one day. " Weel, Mr. 
Clark, that's a great head o' yours." " Indeed it is, Mr. 
Dunlop ; I could contain yours inside of my own." "Just 
sae," echoed Mr. Dunlop, " I was e'en thinkin' it was geyan 
toomr 

Mr. Dunlop happened one day to be present in a Church 



204 REMINISCENCES OF 

Court of a neighbouring presbytery. A Eev. Dr. was asked 
to pray, and declined. On the meeting adjourning, Mr. 
Dunlop stepped up to the Doctor, and asked how he did. 
The Doctor never having been introduced, did not reply. 
Mr. Dunlop withdrew, and said to his friend, " Eh ! but 
is'na he a queer man, that Doctor, he'll neither speak to 
God nor man." 

The Rev. John Brown of Whitburn was riding out one 
day on an old pony, when he was accosted by a rude youth : 
" I say, Mr. Broon, what gars your horse's tail wag that way." 
" Oo, jest what gars your tongue wag ; it's fashed wi' a 
wakeness.''^ 

About sixty years ago there were two ministers in 
Sanquhar of tlie name of Thomson, one of whom was father 
of the late Dr. Andrew Thomson of Edinburgh, the other 
was father of Dr. Thomson of Balfron. The domestic in 
the family of the latter was rather obtrusive with her secret 
devotions, sometimes kneeling on the stairs at night, and 
talking loud enough to be heard. On a communion season 
she was praying devoutly for her minister, " Remember 
Mr. Tamson, no him at the Green, but oor ain Mr. 
Tamson." 

Rev. Mr. Leslie of Morayshire combined the duties of 
justice of peace with those of parochial clergyman. One 
day he was taken into confidence by a culprit who had 
been caught in the act of smuggling, and was threatened 
with a heavy fine. The culprit was a staunch Seceder, and 
owned a small farm. Mr. Leslie said to him, " The king 
will come in the cadger's road some day. Ye wadna come 
to the jDarish kirk though it were to save your life, wad ye ? 
Come noo, an' I'se mak ye a' richt ! " Next Sabbath the 
seceding smuggler appeared in the parish kirk, and as the 
paupers were receiving parochial allowance, Mr. Leslie slipt 
a shilling into the smuggler's hand. When the J. P. Court 
was held, Mr. Leslie was present, when a fine was proposed 
to be exacted from the smuggler. '^ Fine !" said Mr. Leslie, 
" he's mair need o' something to get duds to his back 



SCOTTISH LIFE <b CHARACTEIL '205 

He's ane o' my poor roll ; I gie'd him a shilling just last 
Sabbath." 

A worthy old Seceder used to ride from Gargunnock to 
Bucklyvie every Sabbath to attend the Burgher kirk. One 
day as he rode past the parish kirk of Ki^jpen, the elder 
at the plate accosted him, " I'm sure, John, it's no like the 
thing to see you ridin' in sic a doon-pour o' rain sae far by 
to thae Seceders. Ye ken the mercifu' man is mercifu' to 
his beast. Could ye no step in by." " Weel," said John, 
'^ I wadna care sae muckle about stablin' my beast inside, 
but it's anither thing mysel' gain' in." 

The Eev. Dr. George Lawson of Selkirk acted for many 
years as theological tutor to the Secession Church. One 
day on entering the Divinity Hall he overheard a student 
remark that the professor's wig was uncombed. That same 
student, on that very day, had occasion to preach a sermon 
before the doctor, for which he received a bit of severe 
criticism, the sting of which was in its tail, " You said my 
wig wasna kaimed this mornin', my lad, but I think I've 
redd your head to you." 

The Eev. John Heugh of Stirling was one day admonish- 
ing one of his people of the sin of intemperance : " Man, 
John, you should never drink except when you're dry." 
" Weel, sir," quoth John, " that's what I'm aye doin', for 
I am never slockin'd." 

The Eev. Mr. M of Bathgate came up to a street- 

paviour one day, and addressed him, "Eh, John, what's 
tliis you're at ?" "Oh ! I'm mending the ways of Bath- 
gate ! " " Ah, John, I've long been tryin' to mend the 
ways o' Bathgate, an' they're no* weel yet." " Weel, Mr. M., 
if you had tried my plan, and come doon to your knees, ye 
wad maybe hae come mair speed ! " 

There once lived in Cupar a merchant whose store con- 
tained supplies of every character and description, so that 
he was commonly known by the soubriquet of Eobbie 
A'Thing. One day a minister who was well known for 
making a free use of his notes in the pulpit, called at the 



206' REMINISCENCES OF 

store asking for a rope and pin to tether a young calf in 
the glebe. Eobbie at once informed him that he could not 
furnish such articles to him. But the minister being some- 
what importunate, said, " Oh ! I thought you were named 
Robbie A' Thing from the fact of your keeping all kinds of 
goods." " Weel a weel," said Robbie, " I keep a'thing in 
my shop but calfs tether-pins and paper sermons for 
ministers to read." 

It was a somewhat whimsical advice, supported by 
whimsical argument, which used to be given by a Scottish 
minister to young preachers, on going abroad among people, 
" to sup well at the kail, for if they were good they were 
worth the supping, and if not they might be sure there 
was not much worth coming after them." 

A good many families in and around Dunblane rejoice 
in the patronymic of Dochart. This name, which sounda 
somewhat Irish, is derived from Loch Dochart, in Argyle- 
shire. The McGregors having been proscribed, were sub- 
jected to severe penalties, and a group of the clan having 
been hunted by their superiors, swam the stream which 
issues from Loch Dochart, and in gratitude to the river 
they afterwards assumed the family name of Dochart. A 
young lad of this name, on being sent to Glasgow College, 
presented a letter from his minister to Reverend Dr. Hengh 
of Glasgow. He gave his name as Dochart, and the name 
in the letter was McGregor : " Oh," said the Doctor, " I fear 
there is some mistake about your identity, the names don't 
agree." " Weel, sir, that's the way they spell the name in 
our country." 

The relative whom I have mentioned as supplying so 
many Scottish anecdotes had many stories of a parochial 
functionary whose eccentricities have, in a great measure, 
given way before the assimilating spirit of the times. I 
mean the old Scottish beadle, or betheral, as he used to be 
called. Some classes of men are found to have that name- 
less but distinguishing characteristic of figure and aspect 



SCOTTISH LIFE S CHARACTER. 207 

whicli marks cut particular occupations and professions oi 
mankind. This was so much the case in the betheral class, 
that an old lady obsei-ving a well-known judge and advo- 
cate walking together in the street, remarked to a friend 
as they passed by, " Dear me, Lucy, wha are they twa 
heddle-looking bodies ?" They were often great originals, 
and, I suspect, must have been in past times somewhat 
given to convivial habits, from a remark I recollect of the 
late Baron Clerk Eattray, viz., that in his younger days he 
liad hardly ever known a perfectly sober betheral. How- 
ever this may have been, they were, as a class, remarkable 
for quaint humour, and for being shrewd observers of what 
was going on. I have heard of an occasion where the 
betheral made his wit furnish an apology for his want of 
sobriety. He had been sent round the parish by the 
minister to deliver notices at all the houses of the cate- 
chising which was to precede the preparation for receiving 
the communion. On his return it was quite evident that 
he had partaken too largely of refreshment since he had 
been on his expedition. The minister reproached him for 
this improper conduct. The betheral pleaded the pressing 
hospitality of the parishioners. The clergyman did not 
admit the plea, and added, " Now, John, I go through the 
parish, and you don't see me return fou as you have done.'* 
"Ay, minister," rejoined the betheral, with much com- 
placency, "but then aiblins ye're no sae popular i' the 
parish as me." My relative used to tell of one of these 
officials receiving, with much ceremony, a brother betheral 
from a neighbouring parish, who had come with the 
minister thereof about to preach for some special occasion. 
Aiter service, the betheral of the stranger clergyman felt 
proud of the performance of the appointed duty, and said, 
in a triumphant tone, to his friend, " I think our minister 
did weel ; ay, he gars the stour flee out o' the cushion." 
To which the other rejoined, with a calm feeling of 
superiority, " Stour oot o' the cushion ! hout, our minister, 
fliij* he cam wi' us has dung the gats oot o' twa Bibles." 



208 REMINISCENCES OF 

Another description I have heard of an energetic preacher 
more forcible than delicate — " Eh, our minister had a great 
power o' watter, for he grat, and spat, and swat like mischeef." 
An obliging anon^Tnons correspondent has sent me a story of 
a functionary of this class whose pride was centred not so 
much in the performance of the minister as of the precentor. 
He states that he remembers an old beadle of the church 
which was called " Haddo's Hole," and sometimes the 
Little Kirk," in Edinburgh, whose son occasionally officiated 
as precentor. He was not very well qualified for the duty, 
but the father had a higl^ opinion of his son's vocal powers. 
In those days there was always service in the church on the 
Tuesday evenings ; and when the father was asked on 
such occasions, " Who's to preach to-night ? " his seK-com- 
placent reply used to be, " I divna ken wha's till preach, 
but my son's for till precent." This class of functionaries 
were very free in their remarks upon the preaching of 
strangers, who used occasionally to occupy the pulpit of 
their church — the city betherals speaking sometimes in a 
most condescending manner of clergy from the provincial 
parishes. As, for example, a betheral of one of the large 
churches in Glasgow, criticising the sermon of a minister 
from the country who had been preaching in the city church, 
characterised it as " gude coorse country wark." A betheral 
of one of the churches of St. Giles, Edinburgh, used to call 
on the family of Mr. Eobert Stevenson, engineer, who was 
one of the elders. On one occasion they asked him what 
had been the text on such a night, when none of the family 
had been present. The man of office, confused at the 
question, and unwilling to show anything like ignorance, 
poured forth, " Weel, ye see, the text last day, was just 
entirely, sirs — ^yes — the text, sirs— what was it again — ou 
ay, just entirely, ye see it was ^ What profiteth a man if he 
lose the world, and gain his own soul.' " Most of such 
stories are usually of an old standing. A more recent one 
has been told me of a betheral of a royal burgh much 
decayed from former importance, and governed by a feeble 



SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER, 209 

municipality of old men who continued in office, and in 
fact constituted rather the shadow than the substance of a 
corporation. A clergyman from a distance ha\dng come to 
officiate in the parish church, the betheral, knowing the 
terms on which it was usual for the minister officiating to 
pray for the efficiency of the local magistracy, quietly 
cautioned the clergyman before service that, in regard to 
the town council there, it would be quite out of place for 
him to pray that they should be a " terror to evil doers," 
because, as he said, the " poor auld bodies could be nae 
terror to onybody." Another fimctionary of a country pariish 
is usually called the minister's man^ and to one of these who 
had gone through a long course of such parish official life, 
a gentleman one day remarked — " John, ye hae been sae 
lang about the minister's hand that I dare say ye could 
preach a sermon yersell now " To which John modestly 
replied, " na, sir, I couldna preach a sermon, but may- 
be I could draw an inference." " Well, John," said the 
gentleman, humouring the quiet vanity of the beadle, 
" what inference could ye draw frae this text, * A wild asa 
snuffeth up the wind at her pleasure ? ' " (Jer. iL 24). 
" Weel, sir, I wad draw this inference, he wad snuff a lang 
time afore he would fatten upon't." I had an anecdote 
from a friend of a reply from a betheral to the minister hi 
church, which was quaint and amusing from the shrewd 
seK-importance it intlicated in his own acuteness. The 
clergyman had been annoyed during the course of his 
sermon by the restlessness and occasional whining of a dog, 
which at last began to baxk outright. He looked out for 
the beadle, and directed him very peremptorily, " John, 
carry that dog out." John looked up to the pulpit, and 
with a very knowing expression said, " Na, na, sir ; I'se 
just mak him gae out on his ain four legs." I have 
another story of canine misbehaviour in church. A dog 
was present during the service, and in the sermon the 
worthy minister was in the habit of speaking very loud, 
and, in fact, when he got warmed with his subject, of 

p 



210 REMINISCENCES OF 

shouting almost to tlie top of liis voice. Tlie dog who, ir; 
the early part, had been very quiet, became qiiite excited, 
as is not uncommon with some dogs when hearing a noise, 
and from whinging and whining, as the speaker's voice rose 
loud and strong, at last began to bark and howl. The 
minister, naturally much annoyed at the interruption, 
called upon the betheral to put out the dog, who at once 
expressed his readiness to obey the order, but could not 
resist the temptation to look up to the pulpit, and to say 
very significantly, " Ay, ay, sir ; but indeed it was yoursell 
began it." There is a dog story connected with Reminis- 
cences of Glasgow (See Chambers's Journal, March 1855), 
wliich is full of meaning. The bowls of rum punch which 
so remarkably characterised the Glasgow dinners of last 
century and the early part of the present, it is to be feared 
made some of the congregation given to somnolency on the 
Sundays following. The members of the town council 
often adopted Saturday for such meetings ; accordingly, the 
Rev. Mr. Thom, an excellent clergyman, took occasion to 
mark this propensity mth some acerbity. A dog had been 
very troublesome, and disturbed the congregation for some 
time, when the minister at last gave orders to the beadle, 
" Take out that dog ; he'd wauken a Glasgow magistrate." 

The parochial grave-diggers had sometimes a very 
familiar professional style of dealing with the solenm sub- 
jects connected with their office. Thus I have heard of a 
grave-digger pointing out a large human bone to a lady 
who was looking at his work, of digging a grave, and 
asking her — " D'ye ken wha's bane that is, mem ? — that's 
Jenny Eraser's hench-bane ; " adding with a serious aspect 
— '^ a weel-baned family thae Frasers ! " 

Tlie ^^ minister's man" was a functionary now less 
often to be met with. He was the minister's own servant 
and factotum. Amongst this class there was generally 
much Scottish humour and original character. They 
were (like the betheral) great critics of sermons and often 
severe upon strangers, sometimes with a sly hit at 



SCOTTISH LIFE d: CHARACTER. 211 

their own minister. One of these, David, a well known 
character, complimenting a yonng minister who had 
preached, told him, "Your introduction, sir, is aye grand; 
it's worth a' the rest o* the sermon, — could ye no mak it 
a' introduction?" 

David's criticisms of his master's sermons were some- 
times sharp enough and shrewd. On one occasion, driving 
the minister home from a neighbouring church where he 
had been preaching, and who, as he thought, had acquitted 
himself pretty wxll, inquired of David w^hat he thought of 
it. The subject of discourse had been the escape of the 
Israelites from Egypt. So David opened his criticism — 
" Thocht o't, sir ? deed I thocht nocht o't ava. It was a 
vara imperfect discourse, in ma opinion ; ye did weel eneuch 
till ye took them through, but where did ye leave them ? 
just daunerin' o' the sea-shore without a place to gang till. 
Had it no been for Pharaoh they had been better on the 
other side where they were comfortably encampit than 
daunerin' where ye left them. It's painful to hear a ser- 
mon stoppit afore it is richt ended, just as it is to hear ane 
streeket out lang after it's dune. That's my opinion o' the 
sermon ye geid us to-day." " Very freely given, David, very 
freely given ; drive on a little faster, for I think ye're 
daunerin' noo yersell." 

It would be impossible in these reminiscences to omit 
the well-known and often repeated anecdote connected with 
an eminent divine of our own country, whose works take a 
high place in our theological literature. The story to 
which I allude was rendered popular throughout the king- 
dom some years ago, by the inimitable mode in which it 
was told, or rather acted, by the late Charles Matthews. 
But Matthews was wrong in the person of whom he 
related the humorous address. I have assurance of the 
parties from a friend, whose father, a distinguished clergy- 
man in the Scottish Church at the time, had accurate 
knowledge of the whole circumstances. The late celebrated 
Dr. Macknight, a learned and profound scholar and com- 



212 REMINISCENCES OF 

mentatqr, was nevertlieless, as a preacher, to a great 
degree, heavy, unrelieved by fancy or imagination ; an 
able writer, but a dull speaker. His colleague, Dr. Henry, 
well known as the author of a history of England, was, on 
the other hand, a man of great humour, and could not 
resist a joke when the temptation came upon him. On 
one occasion when coming to church. Dr. Macknight had 
been caught in a shower of rain, and entered the vestry 
soaked with wet. Every means were used to relieve him 
from his discomfort ; but as the time drew on for divine 
service he became much distressed, and ejaculated over and 
over, " Oh, I wush that I was dry ; do you think I'm dry ? 
do you thiak I'm dry eneuch noo ?'* His jocose colleague 
could resist no longer, but, patting him on the shoulder, 
comforted him with the sly assurance, " Bide a wee. 
Doctor, and ye'se be dry eneuch when ye get into the 
pu'pit.'* Another quaint remark of the facetious Doctor to 
his more formal colleague has been preserved by friends 
of the family. Dr. Henry, who, with all his pleasantry and 
abilities, had himself as little popularity in the pulpit as 
his coadjutor, had been remarking to Dr. Macknight what 
a blessing it was that they were two colleagues in one 
charge, and continued dwelling on the subject so long, that 
Dr. Macknight, not quite pleased at the frequent reiteration 
of the remark, said that it certainly was a great pleasure 
to himself, but he did not see what great benefit it might 
be to the world. " Ah," said Dx. Henry, " an it hadna 
been for that, there wad hae been twa toom* kirks this 
day." I am indebted to a gentleman, himself also a dis- 
tinguished member of the Scottish Church, for an authentic 
anecdote of this learned divine, and which occurred whilst 
Dr. Macknight was the minister of Maybole. One of his 
parishioners, a well-known humorous blacksmith of the 
parish, who, no doabt, thought that the Doctor's learned 
books were rather a waste of time and labour for a country 

* Empty. 



SCOTTISH LIFE S CHARACTER. 213 

pastor, was asked if his minister was at home. The 
Doctor was then busy bringing out his laborious and 
valuable work, his " Harmony of the Four Gospels." " Na, 
he's gane to Edinburgh on a verra useless job." On being 
asked what this useless work might be which engaged his 
pastor's time and attention, he answered, " He's gane to 
mak four men agree wha ne'er cast out." The good- 
humoured and candid answer of a learned and rather long- 
winded preacher of the old school, always appeared to me 
quite charming. The good man was far from being a 
popular preacher, and yet he could not reduce his discourses 
below the hour and a half. On being asked, as a gentle 
hint of their possibly needless length, if he did not feel 
tired after preaching so long, he replied, " Na, na, I'm no 
tired ;" adding, however, with much n^avet^, "But, Lord, 
hoo tired the fowk whiles are." 

The late good, kind-hearted Dr. David Dickson was 
fond of telling a story of a Scottish termagant of the days 
before kirk-session discipline had passed away. A couple 
were brought before the court, and Janet, the wife, was 
charged with violent and undutiful conduct, and with 
wounding her husband, by throwing a three-legged stool at 
his head. The minister rebuked her conduct, and pointed 
out its grievous character, by explaining that just as 
Christ was head of his church, so the husband was head of 
the wife ; and therefore in assaulting him, she had in fact 
injured her own body. "Weel," she replied, "it's come 
to a fine pass gin a wife canna kame her ain head ;'* " Aye, 
but Janet," rejoined the minister, " a three-legged stool is 
a thief-like bane-kame to scart yer ain head wi' !" 

The following is a dry Scottish case, of a minister's wife 
quietly " kaming her husband's head." Mr. Mair, a Scotch 
minister, was rather short-tempered, and had a wife named 
Rebecca, whom for brevity's sake he addressed as " Becky." 
He kept a diary, and among other entries this one was 
very frequent — " Becky and I had a rippet, for which I 
desire to be humble." A gentleman who had been on a 



214 REMINISCENGES OF 

visit to the minister went to Edinburgh, and told the story 
to a minister and his wife there, when the lady replied, 
"Weel, he must have been an excellent man, IVIr. Mair. 
My husband and I sometimes too have 'rippets,' but catch 
him if he's ever humble." 

Our object in bringing up and recording anecdotes of 
this kind is to elucidate the sort of humour we refer to^ 
and to show it as a humour of past times. A modern 
clergyman could hardly adopt the tone and manner of the 
older class of ministers — ^men not less useful and beloved, 
on account of their odd Scottish humour, which indeed 
suited their time. Could a clergyman, for instance, now 
come off from the trying position in which we have heard 
of a northern minister being placed, and by the same way 
through which he extricated himseK with much good 
nature and quiet sarcasm? A young man sitting opposite 
to him in the front of the gallery, had been up late on the 
previous night, and had stuffed the cards with which he 
had been occupied into his coat-pocket. Forgetting the 
circumstance, he pulled out his handkerchief, and the cards 
all flew about. The minister simply looked at him, and 
remarked, "Eh man, your psalm-buik has been ill 
bund." 

Many anecdotes of pithy and facetious replies are 
recorded of a minister of the south, usually distinguished 
as " Our Watty Dunlop." On one occasion two irreverent 
young fellows determined, as they said, to "taigle"* the 
minister. Coming up to him in the High Street of 
Dumfries, they accosted him with much solemnity — 
" Maister Dunlop, dae ye hear the news ?" " What news ?" 
" Oh, the deil's deed." " Is he ?" said Mr. Dunlop, " then I 
maun pray for twa faitherless bairns. " On another occasion 
Maister Dunlop met, with characteristic humour, an attempt 
to play off a trick against him. It was known that he was 
to diae with a minister whose house was close to the churchy 

* Confound. 



SCOTTISH LIFE S CHARACTER, 215 

so that Ms return back must be tkrough the churchyard. 
Accordingly some idle and mischievous youths waited for 
him in the dark night, and one of them came up to him, 
dressed as a ghost, in hopes of putting him in a fright. 
Watty's cool accost speedily upset the plan : — '^ Weel, 
Maister Ghaist, is this a general rising, or are ye juist 
taking a daunder frae yer grave by yersell ? " I have received 
from a correspondent another specimen of Watty's acute 
rejoinders. Some years ago the celebrated Edward Irving 
had been lecturing at Dumfries, and a man who passed as 
a wag in that locality had been to hear him. He met 
Watty Dunlop the following day, who said, " Weel, Willie, 
man, an' what do ye think of Mr. Irving?" "Oh," said 
Willie, contemptuously, "the man's crack't." Dunlop 
patted him on the shoulder, with a quiet remark, " Willie, 
ye'll aften see a light peeping through a crack !" 

An admirable story of a quiet pulpit rebuke is tradi- 
tionary in Fife, and is told of ^Ir. Shirra, a seceding minister 
of Kirkcaldy, a man still well remembered by some of the 
older generation for many excellent and some eccentric 
r[ualities. A young officer of a volunteer corps on duty in 
the place, very proud of his fresh uniform, had come to Mr. 
Shirra's church, and walked about as if looking for a seat, 
but in fact to show off his dress, which he saw was attract- 
ing attention from some of the less grave members of the 
congregation. Ue came to his place, however, rather quickly, 
on Mj. Shirra quietly remonstrating, " man, will ye sit 
doun, and we'll see your new breeks when the kirk's dune." 
This same Mr. Shirra was well known from his quaint, and, 
as it were, parenthetical comments which he introduced in 
his reading of Scripture ; as, for example, on reading from 
the 1 1 6th Psalm, " I said in my haste all men are liars," 
he quietly observed, " Indeed, Dauvid, an' ye had been i' 
this parish ye might hae said it at your leesure." 

There was something even still more pungent in the 
incidental remark of a good man, in the course of his ser- 
mon, who had in a country place taken to preaching out of 



216 REMINISCENCES OF 

doors in tlie summer afternoons. He used to collect tlie 
people as they were taking air by tlie side of a stream out- 
side the village. On one occasion he had unfortunately 
taken his place on a bank, and fixed himself on an ants^ 
nest. The active habits of those little creatures soon made 
the position of the intruder upon their domain very uncom- 
fortable ; and afraid that his audience might observe some- 
thing of this discomfort in his manner, he apologised by 
the remark — " Brethren, though I hope I have the word 
of God in my mouth, I think the deil himseK has gotten 
into my breeks." 

There was often no doubt a sharp conflict of wits when 
some of these humorist ministers came into collision with 
members of their flocks w^ho were also humorists. Of this 
Rature is the following anecdote, which I am assured is 
genuine : — A minister in the north was taking to task one 
of his hearers who was a fr-equent defaulter, and was re- 
proaching him as an habitual absentee from public worship. 
The accused vindicated himself on the plea of a dislike to 
long sermons. "'Deed, man," said his reverend monitor, a 
little nettled at the insinuation thrown out against himself, 
" if ye dinna mend, ye may land yersell where ye'U no be 
troubled wi' mony sermons either lang or short." " Weel, 
aiblins sae," retorted John, " but it mayna be for want o' 
ministers." An answer to Mr. Shirra himself, strongly 
illustrative of Scottish ready and really clever wit, and 
which I am assured is quite authentic, must, I think, have 
struck the fancy of that excellent humorist himseK. 
When Mr. Shirra w^as parish minister of St. Ninian's, one 
of the members of the church was John Henderson or 
Anderson — a very decent douce shoemaker — and who left 
the church and joined the independents, who had a meet- 
ing in Stirling. Some tune afterwards, when Mr. Shirra 
met John on the road, he said, " And so, John, I understand 
you have become an Independent ? " " 'Deed, sir," replied 
John, " that's true." " Oh, John," said the minister, ^' I'm 
sure you ken that a rowin' (rolling) stane gathers nae fog" 



SCOTTISH LIFE <fc CHARACTER, 217 

(moss). " Aye," said John, " that's true too ; but can ye 
tell me what guid the fog does to the stane ? " Mr. Shirra 
himself afterwards became a Baptist. The wit, however, 
was all in favour of the minister in the following : — 

Dr. Gilchrist, formerly of the East Parish of Greenock, 
and who died minister of the Canongate, Edinburgh, re- 
ceived an intimation of one of his hearers, who had been 
exceedingly irregular in his attendance, that he had taken 
seats in an Episcopal chapeL One day soon after, he met 
his former parishioner, who told him candidly that he had 
" changed his religion." " Indeed," said the Doctor quietly, 
" how's that 1 I ne'er heard ye had ony." It was this same 
Dr. Gilchrist who gave the well-known quiet but forcible 
rebuke to a young minister whom he considered rather 
conceited and fond of putting forward his own doings, and 
who was to officiate in the Doctor's church. He explained 
to him the mode in which he usually conducted the service, 
and stated that he always finished the prayer before the 
sermon with the Lord's Prayer. The young minister de- 
murred at this, and asked if he " might not introduce any 
other short prayer ?" " Ou aye," was the Doctor's quiet 
reply, " gif ye can gie us onything hetterr 

At Banchory, on Deeside, some of the criticisms and 
remarks on sermons were very quaint and characteristic. 
My cousin had asked the Ley's grieve what he thought of 
a young man's preaching, who had been more successful in 
appropriating the words than the ideas of Dr. Chalmers. 
He drily answered, " Ou, Sir Thomas, just a floorish o' the 
surface." But the same hearer bore this unequivocal testi- 
mony to another preacher whom he really admired. He 
was asked if he did not think the sermon long ; " Na, 
I shuld nae hae thocht it lang an' I'd been sitting on 
thorns." 

I think the following is about as good a sample of what 
we call Scotch " pawky " as any I know : A countryman 
had lost his wife and a favourite cow on the same day 
His friends consoled him for the loss of the wife ; and being 



218 REMINISCENCES OF 

higlily respectable, several hints and offers were made to- 
wards getting another for him. " Ou ay," he at length re- 
plied, " you're a' keen aneuch to get me anither wife, but 
no yin o' ye offers to gie me anither coo." 

The following anecdotes, collected from different con- 
tributors, are fair samples of the quaint and original 
character of Scottish ways and expressions now becoming 
more and more matters of reminiscence : — A poor man 
came to his minister for the purpose of intimating his inten- 
tion of being married. As he expressed, however, some 
doubts on the subject, and seemed to hesitate, the minister 
asked him if there were any doubts about his being accepted. 
No, that was not the difficulty ; but he expressed a fear 
that it might not be altogether suitable, and he asked 
whether, if he were once married, he could not (in case of 
unsuitability and unhappiness) get 'z^nmarried ? The 
clergyman assured him that it was impossible ; if he 
married, it must be for better and worse ; that he could 
not go back upon the step. So thus instructed he went 
away. After a time he returned, and said he had made 
up his mind to try the experiment, and he came and was 
married. Ere long he came back very disconsolate, and 
declared it would not do at all ; that he was quite miserable, 
and begged to be unmarried. The minister assured him 
that was out of the question, and urged him to put away 
the notion of anything so absurd. The man insisted that 
the marriage could not hold good, for the wife was waur 
than the deevil. The minister demurred, saying that it was 
quite impossible. " 'Deed, sir," said the poor man, " the 
Bible tells ye that if ye resist the deil he flees frae ye, but 
if ye resist her she flees at ye." 

A faithful minister of the gospel being one day engaged 
in visiting some members of his flock, came to the door of 
a house where his gentle tapping could not be heard for 
the noise of contention within. After waiting a little he 
opened the door, and walked in, saying, with an authori- 
tative voice, " I should like to know who is the head of 



SCOTTISH LIFE (& CRARACTEE, 219 

this house." " Weel, sir," said tlie liusband and father, " if 
ye sit doon a wee, we'll maybe be able to tell ye, for we're 
just trying to settle that point." 

A minister in the north returning thanks in his prayers 
one Sabbath for the excellent harvest, began as usual, " 
Lord, we thank thee," etc., and went on to mention its 
abundance, and its safe ingathering ; but feeling anxious 
to be quite candid and scrupulously truthful, added, " all 
except a few fields between this and Stonehaven, not worth 
mentioning." 

A Scotch preacher being sent to ofiiciate one Sunday at 
a country parish, was accommodated at night in the manse, 
in a very diminutive closet, instead of the usual best bed- 
room appropriated to strangers. 

" Is this the bed-room ] " he said, starting back in 
amazement. 

"Deed aye, sir, this is the prophets' chalmer." 

" It maun be for the minor prophets, then," was the 
quiet reply. 

Elders of the kirk, no doubt, frequently partook of the 
original and humorous character of ministers and others, 
their contemporaries ; and amusing scenes must have 
passed, and good Scotch sayings been said, where they were 
concerned. Dr. Chalmers used to repeat one of these say- 
ings of an elder with great delight. The Doctor associated 
with the anecdote the name of Lady Glenorchy and the 
church which she endowed ; but I am assured that the 
person was Lady Elizabeth Cunninghame, sister of Archibald 
eleventh Earl of Eglinton, and wife of Sir John Cunning- 
hame, Bart, of Caprington, near Kilmarnock. It seems her 
ladyship had, for some reason, taken offence at the pro- 
ceedings of the Caprington parochial authorities, and a 
result of which was that she ceased putting her usual 
liberal offering into the plate at the door. This had gone 
on for some time, till one of the elders, of less forbearing 
character than the others, took his turn at the plate. Lady 
Elizabeth^ as usual, passed by without a contribution, but 



220 REMINISCENCES OF 

made a formal courtesy to tlie elder as she passed, and 
sailed up the aisle. The good man was determined not to 
let her pass so easily. He quickly followed her up the 
passage, and urged the remonstrance, " My Lady, gie us less 
o' your mainers and mair o* your siller." * 

Of an eccentric and eloquent professor and divine of a 
northern Scottish university, there are numerous and 
extraordinary traditionary anecdotes. I have received an 
account of some of these anecdotes from the kind commu- 
nication of an eminent Scottish clergyman, who was himself, 
in early days, his frequent hearer. The stories told of the 
strange observations and allusions which he introduced 

* Although the name of Lady Glenorchy has been erroneously 
associated with the above story, and with a demeanour which 
was quite foreign to her general character, still it is very suit- 
able, I think, to retain my former reference to the history of this 
noble lady since her death, as forming a striking illustration of 
the uncertainty of all earthly concerns, and as suppl}dng a 
Scottish reminiscence belonging to the last seventy years. 
"VYilhelmina Viscountess Glenorchy, during her lifetime, built 
and endowed a church for two ministers, who were provided with 
very handsome incomes. She died 17th July 1786, and was 
buried on the 24th July, aged 44. Her iaterment took place, by 
her own direction, in the church she had founded, immediately 
in front of the pulpit ; and she fixed upon that spot as a place 
of security and safety, where her mortal remains might rest in 
peace till the morning of the resurrection. But alas for the un- 
certainty of all earthly plans and projects for the future ! — the 
iron road came on its reckless course, and swept the church 
away. The site was required for the North British Eailway, 
which passed directly over the spot where Lady Glenorchy had 
been buried. Her remains were accordingly disinterred 24th 
December 1844 ; and the trustees of the church, not having 
yet erected a new one, deposited the body of their foundress in 
the vaults beneath St. John's Episcopal Church, and after resting 
there for fifteen years, they were, in 1859, removed to the build- 
ing which is now Lady Glenorchy's Church. 



SCOTTISH LIFE & CHAHACTER 221 

into his pulpit discourses, almost surpass belief. For many 
reasons, they are not suitable to the nature of this publica- 
tion, still less could they be tolerated in any pulpit admi- 
nistration now, although familiar with his contemporaries. 
The remarkable circumstauce, however, connected with 
these eccentricities was, that he introduced them with the 
utmost gravity, and oftentimes after he had delivered 
them, pursued his subject with great earnestness and elo- 
quence, as if he had said nothing uncommon. One saying 
of the professor, however, out of the pulpit, is too good to 
be omitted, and may be recorded without violation of pro- 
priety. He happened to meet at the house of a lawyer, 
whom he considered rather a man of sharp practice, and 
for whom he had no great favour, two of his own parish- 
ioners. The lawyer jocularly and ungraciously put the 
question : " Doctor, these are members of your flock ; may 
I ask, do you look upon them as white sheep or as black 
sheep?" "I don't know," answered the professor drily, 
" whether they are black or white sheep, but 1 know tha/ 
if they are long here they are pretty sure to be fleeced." 

It was a pungent answer given by a Free Kirk 
member who had deserted his colours and returned to the 
old faith. A short time after the Disruption, the Free 
Church minister chanced to meet him who had then left 
him and returned to the Established Church. The minister 
bluntly accosted him — " Ay, man, John, an' yeVe left us ; 
what micht be your reason for that ? Did ye think it wasna 
a guid road we was gaun ?" " Ou, I darsay it was a guid 
eneuch road and a braw road ; but, minister, the tolls 
were unco high." 

The following story I received from a member of the 
Penicuik family : — Dr. Ritchie, who died minister of St. 
Andrew's, Edinburgh, was, when a young man, tutor to 
Sir G. Clerk and his brothers. Whilst with them, the 
clergyman of the parish became unable, from infirmity and 
illness, to do his duty, and Mr. Ritchie was appointed 
interim assistant. He was an active young man, and 



222 REMINISCENCES OF 

during Ms residence in the country bad become fond of 
fisbing and was a good sbot. Wben tbe grouse-sbooting 
came round, bis pupils happened to be laid up witb a 
lever, so Mr. Ritcbie bad all tbe shooting to bimseK. One 
day he walked over the moor so far that be became quite 
weary and footsore. On returning home be went into a 
cottage, where tbe good woman received him kindly, gave 
him water for bis feet, and refreshment. In the course of 
conversation, he told her he was acting as assistant minister 
of tbe parish, and he explained how far be bad travelled 
in pursuit of game, bow weary be was, and how completely 
knocked up he was. " Weel, sir, I dinna doubt ye maun 
be sair travelled and tired wi' your walk." And then she 
added, with sly reference to his profession, " Deed, sir, I'm 
thinking ye micht bae travelled frae Genesis to Revelation 
and no been sae footsore." 

I cannot do better in regard to the three following 
anecdotes of the late Professor Gillespie of St. Andrews, 
than give them to my readers in tbe words with which 
Dr. Lindsay Alexander kindly communicated them to me. 

"In tbe Cornhill Magazine for March 1860, in an 
article on Student Life in Scotland, there is an anecdote of 
the late Professor Gillespie of St. Andrews, which is told in 
such a way as to miss the point and humour of the story. 
Tbe correct version, as I have beard it from the professor 
himself, is this : Having employed the village carpenter to 
put a frame round a dial at the manse of Cults, where be 
was a minister, be received from tbe man a bill, to tbe 
following effect — ^ To fencing the deil, 5s. 6d.' * When I 
paid him,' said tbe professor, ^ I could not help saying, 
John, this is rather more than I counted on ; but I haven't 
a word to say. I get somewhere about two hundred a 
year for fencing the deil, ancj. I'm afraid I don't do it half 
so effectually as you've done.' 

" Whilst I am writing, another of the many stories of 
the learned and facetious professor rises in my mind, 
There was a worthy old woman at Cults whose place in 



SCOTTISH LIFE & CHABACTER. 223 

churcli was what is commonly called tlie Lateran ; a kind 
of small gallery at the top of the pnlpit steps. She was a 
■ most regnlar attender, but as regularly fell asleep during 
sermon, of which fault the preacher had sometimes audible 
intimation. It was observed, however, that though Janet 
always slept during her own pastor's discourse, she could 
be attentive enough when she pleased, and especially was 
she alert when some young preacher occupied the pulpit 
A little piqued, perhaps, at this, Mr. Gillespie said to her 
one day, ^ Janet, I think you hardly behave very respect- 
fully to your own minister in one respect.' ' Me, sir,* 
exclaimed Janet, ^ I wad like to see ony man, no to say 
woman, by yoursel say that o' me ! what can you mean. 
sir ?' * Weel, Janet, ye ken when I preach, you're almost 
always fast asleep before I've well given out my text ; but 
when any of these young men from St. Andrews preach 
for me, I see you never sleep a wink. Now, that's what I 
call no using me as you should do.* ^ Hoot, sir,' was the 
repl)'', ^ is that a' ? I'll soon tell you the reason o' that. 
When you preach, we a' ken the word o' God's safe in 
your hands ; but when thae young birkies tak' it in haun, 
my certie, but it tak's us a' to look after them.' ^ 

" I am tempted to subjoin another. In the Humanity 
Class, one day, a youth who was rather fond of showing 
off his powers of language, translated Hor. Od. iii., 3, 61, 
62, somewhat thus — * The fortunes of Troy renascent under 
sorrowful omen shall be repeated with sad catastrophe.' 

* Catastrophe !' cried the professor. ^ Catastrophe, Mr. , 

that's Greek. Give us it in plain English, if you please.' 
Thus suddenly pulled down from his high horse, the 
student effected his retreat wath a rather lame and 
impotent version. ^ Now,' said the professor, his little 

* I have abundant evidence to prove that a similar answer 
to that which Dr. Alexander records to have been made to 
Mr. Gillespie has been given on similar occasions by others.-— 
E, B, R. 



224 REMINISCENCES OF 

sharp eyes twinkling with fim, ^ that brings to my recol- 
lection what once happened to a friend of mine, a minister 
in the country. Being a scholarly man, he was sometimes 
betrayed into the use of words in the pulpit which the 
people were not likely to understand ; but being very 
conscientious, he never detected himself in this, without 
pausing to give the meaning of the word he had used, and 
sometimes his extempore explanations of very fine words 

were a little like what we have just had from Mr. , 

rather too flat and commonplace. On one occasion, he 
allowed this very word * catastrophe ' to drop from him, on 
which he immediately added, ^ that, you know my friends, 
means the end of a thing.' Next day, as he was riding 
through his parish, some mischievous youth succeeded in 
fastening a bunch of furze to his horse's tail — a trick 
which, had the animal been skittish, might have exposed 
the worthy pastor's horsemanship to too severe a trial, but 
which happily had no effect whatever on the sober-minded 
and respectable quadruped which he bestrode. On, there- 
fore, he quietly jogged, utterly unconscious of the addition 
that had been made to his horse's caudal region, until, as 
he was passing some cottages, he was arrested by the shrill 
voice of an old woman, exclaiming, * Heh, sir ! Heh, sir ! 
there's a whun-buss at your horse's catawstrophe !'" 

I have brought in the following anecdote, exactly as it 
appeared in the Scotsman of October 4, 1859, because it 
introduces the name of Kev. John Skinner, of Langside, 
author of " Tullochgorum," * " The Ewie wi' the Crooked 
Horn," and other excellent Scottish songs. Skinner was 
also a learned divine, and wrote theological works in Latin 
and English. He was a correspondent of Burns, and his 
name was " familiar as household words " to the old people 
of Aberdeenshire and Forfar. 

" The late Eev. John Skinner, author of " Annals of 

* Hence frequently spoken of under the sobriquet of ** Tul- 
lochgorum." 



SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 225 

Scottish Episcopacy," was his grandson. He was first 
appointed to a charge in Montrose, from whence he was 
removed to Banff, and ultimately to Forfar. After he had 
left Montrose, it reached his ears that an ill-natured in- 
sinuation was circulating in Montrose that he had been 
induced to leave this town by the temptation of a better 
income and of fat pork, which, it would appear, was 
plentiful in the locality of his new incumbency. Indig- 
nant at such an aspersion, he wrote a letter, directed to 
his maligners, vindicating himself sharply from it, which 
he showed to his grandfather, John Skinner of Langside, 
for his approval. The old gentleman objected to it as too 
lengthy, and proposed the following pithy substitute : — 

** * Had Skinner been of carnal mind, 
As strangely ye suppose, 
Or had he even been fond of swine, 
He'd ne'er have left Montrose.*" 

But there is an anecdote of John Skinner which should 
endear his memory to every generous and loving heart. 
On one occasion he was passing a small dissenting place of 
worship at the time when the congregation were engaged 
in singing ; on passing the door — old-fashioned Scottish 
Episcopalian as he was — he reverently took off his hat. 
His companion said to him, " What ! do you feel so much 
sympathy with this Anti-Burgher congregation?" "No," 
said Mr. Skinner, " but I respect and love any of my 
fellow-Christians who are engaged in singing to the glory 
of the Lord Jesus Christ." Well done, old Tullochgorimi ! 
thy name shall be loved and honoured by every true 
liberal-minded Scotsman. 

On the subject of epigrams, I have received a clever 
impromptu of a judge's lady, produced in reply to one 
made by the witty Henry Erskine. At a dinner party at 
Lord Armadale's, when a bottle of claret was called for, 
port was brought in by mistake. A second time claret 
was sent for, and a second time the same mistake occurred. 

Q 



226 REMINIS^CENCES OF 

Henry Erskine addressed tlie host in an impromptu, which 
was meant as a parody on the well-known Scottish song, 
" My jo, Janet " — 

** Kind sir, it's for your courtesie 
"When I come here to dine, sir, 
For the love ye hear to me, 
Gie me the claret wine, sir." 

To which Mrs. Honeyman retorted — 

** Drink the port, the claret's dear, 
Erskine, Erskine ; 
Ye'll get fou on't, never fear. 
My jo, Erskine." 

Some of my younger readers may not be familiar with 
the epigram of John Home, author of the tragedy of 
" Douglas." The lines were great favourites with Sir 
Walter Scott, who delighted in repeating them. Home 
was very partial to claret, and could not bear port. He 
was exceedingly indignant when the government laid a 
tax upon claret, having previously long connived at its 
introduction into Scotland under very mitigated duties. 
He embodied his anger in the following epigram — 

** Firm and erect the Caledonian stood. 
Old was his mutton, and his claret good ; 
* Let him drink port,' an English statesman cried — 
He drank the poison, and his spirit died. " 

There is a curious story traditionary in some families 
connected with the nobleman who is the subject of it, 
which I am assured is true, and farther, that it has never 
yet appeared iu print. The story is, therefore, a " Scot- 
tish reminiscence," and, as such, deserves a place here. 
The Earl of Lauderdale was so ill as to cause great alarm 
to his friends, and perplexity to his physicians. One 
distressing symptom was a total absence of sleep, and the 
medical men declared their opinion, that without sleep 



SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 227 

being induced, lie could not recover. His son, a queer 
eccentric-looking boy, who was considered not entirely 
right in his mind, but somewhat " daft^^ and who accord- 
ingly had had little attention paid to his education, was 
sitting under the table, and cried out, " Sen' for that 
preaching man frae Livingstone, for faither aye sleeps in the 
kirk." One of the doctors thought this hint worth attend- 
ing to. The experiment of " getting a minister till him" 
succeeded, and sleep coming on, he recovered. The Earl, 
out of gratitude for this benefit, took more notice of his 
son, paid attention to his education, and that boy became 
the Duke of Lauderdale, afterwards so famous or infamous 
in his country's history. 

The following very amusing anecdote, although it be- 
longs more properly to the division on peculiarities of 
Scottish phraseology, I give in the words of a correspondent 
who received it from the parties with whom it originated. 
About twenty years ago, he was paying a visit to a 
cousin, married to a Liverpool merchant of some standing. 
The husband had lately had a visit from his aged father, 
who formerly followed the occupation of farming in 
Stirlingshire, and who had probably never been out of 
Scotland before in his life. The son, finding his father 
rather de trop in his office, one day persuaded him to 
cross the ferry over the Mersey, and inspect the harvesting, 
then in full operation, on the Cheshire side. On landing 
he approached a young woman reaping with the sickle in 
a field of oats, when the following dialogue ensued : — 

Farmer. — Lassie, are yer aits muckle bookit th' year ? 

Reaper. — Sir ? 

Farmer. — I was speiring gif yei aits are muckle bookit 
th' year? 

Reaper (in amazement). — I really don't know what you 
are saying, sir. 

Farmer (in equal astonishment). — Gude — safe — us, — 
do ye no urderstaan gude plain English ? — are — yer — aits 
— muckle — bookit ? 



228 REMINISCENCES OF 

Reaper decamps to lier nearest companion, saying tliat 
was a madman, wMle he shouted in great wrath, " They 
were naething else than a set o' ignorant pock-puddings." 

An English tourist visited Arran, and being a keen 
disciple of Izaak Walton, was arranging to have a day's 
good sport. Being told that the cleg, or horse-fly, would 
suit his purpose admirably for lure, he addressed himself 
to Christy, the Highland servant-girl : — " I say, my girl, 
can you get me some horse-flies ]" Christy looked stupid, 
and he repeated his question. Finding that she did not yet 
comprehend him, he exclaimed, "Why, girl, did you never 
see a horse-fly?" "Naa, sir," said the girl, "but a wanse 
saw a coo jump ower a preshipice." 

The following anecdote is highly illustrative of the 
thoroughly attached old family 6er\dng-man. A corre- 
spondent sends it as told to him by an old schooKellow 
of Sir Walter Scott's at Fraser and Adam's class, High 
School : — 

One of the lairds of Abercaimie proposed to go out, on 
the occasion of one of the risings for the Stuarts, in the '15 or 
'45 — but this was not with the will of his old serving-man, 
who, when Abercairnie was pulling on his boots, preparing 
to go, overturned a kettle of boiling water upon his legs, 
so as to disable him from joining his friends — saying, " Tak 
that — let them fecht wha like, stay ye at hame and be 
Laird o' Abercairnie." 

A story illustrative of a union of polite courtesy with 
rough and violent ebullition of temper common in the old 
Scottish character, is well known in the Lothian family. 
William Henry, fourth Marquis of Lothian, had for his 
guest at dinner an old countess to whom he wished to show 
particular respect and attention."^ After a very compli- 

* This Marquis of Lothian was aid-de-camp to the Duke of 
Cumberland at the battle of Culloden, and sullied his character 
as a S3ldier and a nobleman by the cruelties which he exercised 
on the vanquished. 



SCOTTISH LIFE db CHAKACTER. 220 

meiitary reception, lie put on Ms wliite gloves to hand her 
down stairs, led her to the upper end of the table, bowed 
and retired to his own place. This I am assured was the 
usual custom with the chief lady guest by persons who 
themselves remember it. After all were seated, the Mar- 
quis addressed the lady, " Madam, may I have the honoui 
and happiness of helping your ladyship to some fish?" 
But he got no answer, for the poor woman was deaf as a 
post, and did not hear him ; after a pause, but still in the 
most courteous accents, " Madam, have I your ladyship's 
permission to send you some fish ! " Then a little quicker, 
" Is your ladyship inclined to take fish ?" Very quick, 
and rather peremptory, " Madam, do ye choice fish ?" At 
last the thunder burst, to everybody's consternation, with 
a loud thump on the table and stamp on the floor : " Con 
— found ye, will ye have any fish ?" I am afraid the ex- 
clamation might have been even of a more pungent cha- 
racter. 

A correspondent has kindly enabled me to add a 
reminiscence and anecdote of a type of Scottish character 
now nearly extinct, — I mean the old Scottish military 
officer of the wars of Holland, and the Low Countries. I 
give them in his own words : " My father, the late Eev. 
Dr. Bethune, minister of Dornoch, was on friendly terms 
vdih. a fine old soldier, the late Colonel Alexander Suther- 
land of Calmaly and Braegrady, in Sutherlandshire, who 
was lieutenant-colonel of the ^ Local Militiay and who 
used occasionally, in his word of command, to break out 
wdth a Gaelic phrase to the men, much to the amusement 
of bystanders. He called his charger, a high boned not 
overfed animal, Cadaver — a play upon accents, for he was 
a good classical scholar, and fond of quoting the Latin 
poets. But he had no relish nor respect for the * modern 
languages^ particularly for that of our neighbours, whom 
he looked upon as ^ hereditary ' enemies ! My father and 
the colonel were both politicians, as w^ell as scholars. 
Heading a newspaper article in his presence one day, my 



230 REMINISCENCES OF 

father stopped short, handing the paper to him, and said, 
^ Colonel, here is a French quotation, which you can 
translate better than I caru* * No, sir !' said the colonel, 
* I never learnt the language of the scoundrels ! ! !' The 
colonel was known as ^ Col. Sandy Sutherland,* and the 
men always called him Colonel Sandy. He was a splendid 
specimen of the hale veteran, with a stentorian voice, and 
the last queue I remember to have seen." 

A correspondent kindly sends me from Aberdeenshire 
a humorous story, very much of the same sort as that of 
Colonel Erskine's servant, who considerately suggested to 
his master that " maybe an aith might relieve him." * My 
correspondent heard the story from the late Bishop Skinner. 

It was among the experiences of his father. Bishop 
John Skinner, while making some pastoral visits in the 
neighbourhood of the town (Aberdeen), the Bishop took 
occasion to step into the cottage of two humble parishioners^ 
a man and his wife, who cultivated a little croft. No one 
was within ; but as the door was only on the latch, the 
Bishop knew that the worthy couple could not be far 
distant. He therefore stepped in the direction of the 
outhouses, and found them both in the barn winnowing 
corn, in the primitive way, with "riddles," betwixt two 
open doors. On the Bishop making his appearance, the 
honest man ceased his winnowing operations, and in the 
gladness of his heart stepped briskly forward to welcome 
his pastor ; but in his haste he trod upon the rim of the 
riddle, which rebounded with great force against one of his 
shins. The accident made him suddenly pull up ; and, 
instead of completing the reception, he stood vigorously 
rubbing the injured limb ; and, not daring in such a 
venerable presence to give vent to the customary strong 
ejaculations, kept twisting his face into all sorts of grimaces. 
As was natural, the Bishop went forward, uttering the 
usual formulas of condolence and sympathy, the patient, 

* Sir H. Moncreiffs Life of Dr. J. Erskiue. 



SCOTTISH LIFE & CEARACTEr, 231 

meanwhile, continuing his rubbings and his silent but 
expressive contortions. At last Janet came to the rescue ; 
and, clapping the Bishop coaxingly on the back, said, 
" Noo, Bishop, jist gang ye yir waas in to the hoose, an' 
we'll follow fan he's had time to curse a fyllie, an' I'se 
warran' he'll seen be weel eneuch !'* 

The following might have been added as examples of 
the dry humorous manner in which our countrymen and 
countr^^^omen sometimes treat matters with which they 
have to deal, even when serious ones : — 

An itinerant vender of wood in Aberdeen having been 
asked how his wife was, replied, " O she's fine, I hae ta'en 
her to Banchory ;" and on it being innocently remarked 
that the change of air would do her good, he looked up, 
and, with a half smile, said, " Hoot, she's i' the kirkyard." 

The well-known aversion of the Scotch to hearing read 
sermons has often led to amusing occurrences. One in- 
dulged pastor in a country district was permitted so far 
to transgress the rule, as to be allowed notes, which never 
in number exceeded three, and which of course were — 
" 1st, 2d, thirdly and lastly." One Sabbath afternoon, 
having exhausted both firstly and secondly, he came to 
the termination of his discourse ; but, unfortunately the 
manuscript was awanting. In vain efforts to seek the 
missing paper, he repeated "thirdly and lastly" ad nauseam 
to his hearers. At last one, cooler than the others, rose, 
and nodding to the minister, observed, " Deed, sir, if I'm no 
mista'en, I saw * thirdly and lastly' fa' ower the poopit stairs." 

A man who had had four wives, and who meditated a 
fifth time entering the marriage state, was conversing with 
his friend on the subject, who was rather disposed to banter 
him a little upon his past matrimonial schemes, as having 
made a good deal of money by his wives, — •" Na, na," he 
replied, " they cam' t' me wi' auld kists,* and I sent them 
hame i' new anes." 

* Chests. 



232 BEMINISCENCES OF 

The two following are from a correspondent who heard 
them told by the late Dr. Barclay the anatomist, well 
known for his o\\ti dry Scottish himionr. 

A country laird, at his death, left his property in equal 
shares to his two sons, who continued to live very amicably 
together for many years. At length one said to the other, 
*' Tam,- we're getting auld now, you'll tak' a wife, and when 
I dee you'll get my share o' the grund." " Na, John, 
you're the youngest and maist active, you'll tak' a wife, 
and when I dee you'll get my share." " Od," says John, 
" Tam, that's just the way wi' you when there's onjfash or 
trouble. The deevil a thing you'll do at a'." 

A country clergyman, who was not on the most friendly 
terms wdth one of his heritors who resided in Stirling, and 
W'ho had annoyed the minister by delay in paying him his 
teinds (or tythe), found it necessary to make the laird under- 
stand that his proportion of stipend must be paid so soon as 
it became due. The payment came next term punctual to 
the time. When the messenger was introduced to the 
minister, he asked who he was, remarking, that he thought 
he had seen him before. " I am the hangman of Stirling, 
sir." " Oh, just so, take a seat till I write you a receipt." 
It was evident that the laird had chosen this medium of 
communication with the minister as an afiront, and to 
show his spite. The minister, however, turned the tables 
upon him, sending back an acknowledgment for the pay- 
ment in these terms : — " Eeceived from Mr , by the 

hands of the hangman of StirKng, his doer* the sum of," 
etc. etc 

The following story of pulpit criticism by a beadle, 
used to be told, I am assured, by the late Rev. Dr. Andrew 
Thomson : — 

A clergyman in the country had a stranger preaching 
for him one day, and meeting his beadle, he said to him, 

* In Scotland it is usual to term the law-agent or man of 
business of any party his ** doer." 



'SCOTTISH LIFE <& CHARACTER, 233 

**Well, Saunders, how did you like the sermon to-day?" 
" I watna', sir ; it was rather ower plain and simple for me. 
I like thae sermons best that jumbles the joodgment and 
confoonds the sense ; Od, sir, I never saw ane that could 
come up to yoursel' at that." 

The epithet " canny" has frequently been applied to 
our countrymen, not in a severe or invidious spirit, but as 
indicating a due regard to personal interest and safety. In 
the larger edition of Jamieson (see edition of 1840) I find 
there are no fewer than eighteen meanings given of this 
word. The following extract from a provincial paper, 
which has been sent me, will furnish a good illustration. 
It is headed, the " Property Qualification," and goes 
on — " Give a Chartist a large estate, and a copious supply 
of ready money, and you make a Conservative of him. 
He can then see the other side of the moon, which he 
could never see before. Once, a determined Eadical in 
Scotland, named Davy Armstrong, left his native village ; 
and many years afterwards, an old fellow-grumbler met 
him, and conmienced the old song. Davy shook his head. 
His friend was astonished, and soon perceived that Davy 
was no longer a grumbler, but a rank Tory. Wondering 
at the change, he was desirous of knowing the reason. 
Davy quietly and laconically replied — * I've a coo (cow) 
noo.'" 

But even still more " canny" was the eye to the main 
chance in an Aberdonian fellow-countryman, communicated 
in the following pleasant terms from a Nairn corre- 
spondent : — " I have just been reading your delightful 
* Reminiscences,' which has brought to my recollection a 
story I used to hear my father tell. It was thus : — A 
countryman in a remote part of Aberdeenshire having got 
a newly-coined sovereign, in the days when such a thing 
was seldom seen in his part of the country, went about 
showing it to his friends and neighbours for the charge of 
Id. each sight. Evil days, however, unfortunately over- 
took him, and he was obliged to part with his loved coin. 



234 EEMINISGENCES OF 

Soon after, a neiglibour called on Hm, and asked a sight 
of his sovereign, at the same time tendering a penny. 
^ Ah, man/ says he, ^ I'ts gane ; but I'll lat ye see tht 
cloutie it was rowH in for a bawbee.'" 

I have often been amused with the wonderful coolness 
with which a parishioner announced his canny care for his 
supposed interests when he became an elder of the kirk. 
The story is told of a man who had got himself installed 
in the eldership, and, in consequence, had for some time 
carried round the ladle for the collections. He had accepted 
the office of elder because some wag had made him believe 
that the remuneration was sixpence each Sunday, with a 
boll of meal at New Year's Day. When the time arrived 
he claimed his meal, but was told he had been hoaxed. 
" It may be sae wi' the meal," he said coolly, " but I took 
care o' the saxpence mysel'." 

There was a good deal both of the pawhy and the 
canny in the following anecdote, which I have from an 
honoured lady of the south of Scotland : — " There was an 
old man who always rode a donkey to his work, and 
tethered him while he worked on the roads, or wherever 
else it might be. It was suggested to him by my grand- 
father that he was suspected of putting it in to feed in the 
fields at other people's expense. ^ Eh, laird, I could never 
be tempted to do that ; for my cuddy winna eat onything 
but nettles and thristles.' One day my grandfather was 
riding along the road, when he saw Andrew Leslie at 
work, and his donkey up to the knees in one of his clover 
fields, feeding luxuriously. ^ Hollo, Andrew!' said he; 
* I thought you told me your cuddy would eat nothing but 
nettles and thistles.' ^ Ay,' said he, ^ but he misbehaved 
the day ; he nearly kicket me ower his head, sae I pat him 
m there just to punish him.'" 

The following from a provincial paper, contains a very 
amusing recognition of a return which one of the itinerant 
race considered himseK conscientiously bound to make to 
his clerical patron for au alms • — "A beggar while on hia 



SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER, 235 

rounds one day this week, called on a clergyman (within 
two and a haK miles of the Cross of Kilmarnock), who, 
obeying the biblical injunction of clothing the naked, 
offered the beggar an old top -coat. It was immediately 
rolled up, and the beggar, in going away with it undet his 
arm, thoughtfully (!) remarked, ' I'll hae tae gie ye a day's 
heariru for this na.'" 

The natural and self-complacent manner in which the 
following anecdote brings out in the Highlander an innate 
sense of the superiority of Celtic blood is highly character- 
istic : — A few years ago, when an English family were 
visiting in the Highlands, their attention was directed to a 
child crying ; on their observing to the mother it was cross^ 
she exclaimed, "Na, na, it's nae cross, for we're baith true 
Hieland." 

The late Mr. Grame of Garsock, in Stratheam, whose 
grandson already " is laird himsel," used to tell, with great 
uncti(mj some thirty years ago, a story of a neighbour of 
his own of a still earlier generation, Drummond of Keltie, 
who, as it seems, had employed an itinerant tailor in- 
stead of a metropolitan artist. On one occasion a new 
pair of inexpressibles had been made for the laird ; they 
were so tight that, after waxing hot and red in the 
attempt to try them on, he let out rather savagely at the 
tailor, who calmly assured him, " It's the fash'n ; it's jist 
the fash'n." " Eh ? ye haveril, is it the fashion for them 
no to go on .^" 

Ail English gentleman writes to me : — " We have all 
heard much of Scotch caution, and I met once with an 
instance of it which I think is worth recording, and which 
I teU as strictly original About 1857, I feU into 
conversation, on board of a Stirling steamer, with a well- 
dressed middle-aged man, who told me he was a soldier of 
the 42 d, going on leave. He began to relate the campaigns 
he had gone through, and mentioned having been at the 
siege of St. Sebastian. — ' Ah ! under Sir Thomas Graham V 
* Yes, sir ; he commanded there.' ^ Well,' I said, merely 



236 EEMimSCENCES OF 

by way of carrying on tlie cracJc, ' and what do you think 
of himT Instead of answering, he scanned me several 
times from head to foot, and from foot to head, and then 
said in a tone of the most diplomatic caution, ' Ye'll 
perhaps be of the name of Grah'm yersell, . sir.' There 
could hardly be a better example, either of the circum- 
spection of a real canny Scot, or of the lingering influence 
of the old patriarchal feeling, by which ^ A name, a word, 
makes clansmen vassals to their lord.'" 

Colonel Erskine, the father of the celebrated lawyer, 
and the grandfather of Dr. John Erskine of this city, no 
less celebrated as a divine, was quite a character in his day. 
He was of a very choleric temper, of which some racy 
anecdotes are told in Sir Henry Moncreifl''s life of Dr. J. 
Erskine. He had an old servant of the true caste. On 
one occasion he had done something that very much dis- 
pleased his master. The colonel's wrath became quite un- 
controllable, his utterance was choked, and his countenance 
became pale as death. The servant grew somewhat uneasy, 
and at last said, " Eh, sir ! maybe an aith would reKeve you. " 

Now when we linger over these old stories, we seem to 
live at another period, and in such reminiscences we con- 
verse with a generation different from our own. Changes 
are still going on around us. They have been going on for 
some time past. The changes are less striking as society 
advances, and our later years have less and less alterations 
to remark. Probably each generation will have fewer 
changes to record than the generation that preceded ; still 
every one who is tolerably advanced in life must feel that, 
comparing its beginning and its close, he has witnessed two 
epochs, and that he looks on a different world from one 
which he can remember. To elucidate this fact has been 
my present object, and in attempting this task I cannot 
but feel how trifling and unsatisfactory my remarks must 
seem to many who have a more enlarged and minute 
acquaintance wth Scottish life and manners than I have. 
But I shall be encouraged to hope for a favourable, or at 



SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 23? 

least an indulgent sentence upon these Reminiscences, if 
to any of my readers I shall have opened a fresh insight 
into the subject of social changes amongst us. Many causes 
have their effect upon the habits and customs of mankind, 
and of late years such causes have been greatly multiplied 
in number and activity. In many persons, and in some 
who have not altogether lost their national partialities, 
there is a general tendency to merge Scottish usages and 
Scottish expressions into the English forms, as being more 
correct and genteel. The facilities for moving, not merely 
from place to place in our own country, but from one 
country to another ; the spread of knowledge and information 
by means of periodical publications and newspapers ; and 
the incredibly low prices at which literary works are pro- 
duced, must have great effects. Then there is the improved 
taste in art, which, together with literature, has been taken 
up by young men who, fifty, sixty, seventy years ago, or 
more, would have known no such sources of interest, or in- 
deed, who would have looked upon them as mimanly and 
effeminate. When first these pursuits were taken up by 
our Scottish young men, they excited in the north much 
amazement, and, I fear, contempt, as was evinced by a 
laird of the old school, who, the fnst time he saw a young 
man at the pianoforte, asked, with evident disgust, " Can 
the creature sew ony ?" evidently putting the accomplish- 
ment of playing the pianoforte and the accomplishment of 
the needle in the same category. The greater facility of 
producing books, prints, and other articles which tend to 
the comfort and embellishment of domestic life, must have 
considerable influence upon the habits and tastes of a 
people. I have often thought how much effect might be 
traced to the single circumstance of the cheap production 
of pianofortes. An increased facility of procuring the 
means of acquaintance with good works of art and literature, 
acts both as cause and effect. A growing and improved 
taste tends to stimulate the production of the best works of 
art These, in return, foster and advance the power oi 



238 REMINISCENCES OF 

forming a due estimate of art. In tlie higher department of 
music, for example, the cheap rate not only of hearing com- 
positions of the first class, but of possessing the works of 
the most eminent composers, must have had influence upon 
thousands. The principal oratories of Handel may be 
purchased for as many shillings each as they cost pounds 
years ago. Indeed, at that time the very names of those 
immortal works were known only to a few who were skilled 
to appreciate their high beauties. Now associations are 
formed for practising and studying the choral works of the 
great masters. In connection, however, with this subject, 
I may notice here, that a taste for that most interesting 
style of music, the pure Scottish, is in some quarters 
becoming a matter of reminiscence. Of reminiscence I 
mean so far as concerns the enthusiasm with which it was 
once esteemed and cultivated amongst us. I do not speak 
so much of the songs of Scotland, which can never lose 
their charm, although of them even some are growing fast 
out of the acquaintance of the younger members of society ; 
but I refer more particularly to the reels and strathspeys, 
which with many Scotch persons have become nearly 
quite obsolete. When properly performed, it is a most 
animating and delightful strain — not of a refined or 
scientific class, but joyous and inspiriting. It has a pecu- 
liar character of its own, and requires to be performed with 
a particular and spicy dexterity of hand, whether for the 
bow or keys. Accordingly, young ladies used to take 
lessons in it as a finish to their musical education. Such 
teaching would now, I fear, be treated with contempt by 
many of our modern fair ones. I recollect at the beginning 
of the present century, my eldest sister, who was a good 
musician of the school of Pleyel, Kozeluch, Clementi, etc., 
having such lessons from Nathaniel Gow, a celebrated reel 
and strathspey performer. Nathaniel was the son of Neh 
Gow, who was the most eminent performer and composer 
of the pure Scottish dance music. A correspondent who 
knew Neil Gow, and was inquiring after him at his cottage 



SCOTTISH LIFE dt CHARACTEH. 239 

the day of liis death, in 1807, has kindly commnnicated a 
characteristic anecdote : — Neil was rather addicted to the 
whisky bottle. On walking home to Dunkeld, one night, 
from Perthy where he had been engaged, as usual, to play 
the violin at some ball, upon being asked, next day, how 
he had got home, for it was a long walk, and he was very 
tipsy, replied * that he didna mind the length o' the road ; 
it was the breadth o' it that he cast oot wi' !" — under the 
recollection of his having knocked about from side to side. 
At the close of the last century Gow's celebrity might be 
said to rival that of Burns ; and Neil's strathspeys were on 
a par with the songs of Eobby. But alas ! that celebrity 
and popularity are becoming matters of reminiscence with 
the few. With the rising generation the name has passed 
away. It is a pity. Even still, let a good strathspey 
performer begin to play such tunes, for example, as " Up 
an' Waur them a', Willie," " Brig o' Dee," " Heel o' TuHoch," 
" Loch Eric Side," or " Monimusk," and every countenance 
brightens with animation. 

We must acknowledge that the love of Scottish music 
used to be with some of the older generation a very 
exclicsive taste, and that they had as little sympathy with 
the admirers of Italian strains as such admirers could have 
with theirs. I have been supplied with an amusing 
illustration of this intolerance : — A family belonging to the 
Scottish Border, after spending some time at Florence, had 
returned home, and proud of the progress they had made 
in music, the young ladies were anxious to show off their 
accomplishments before an old confidential servant of the 
family, and accordingly sung to her some of their finest 
Italian songs which they had learned abroad. Instead, 
however, of paying them a compliment on their performance, 
she showed what she thought of it by asking with much 
naivete, " Eh, mem, do they ca' skirling like yon singing in 
foreign pairts ?" 

There are many causes in operation to produce changes 
in taste, habits, and associations, amongst us. Families do 



240 .REMINISCENCES OF 

not vegetate for years in one retired spot as they used to 
do ; young men are encouraged to attain accomplishments, 
and to have other sources of interest than the field or the 
bottle. Every one knows, or may know, everything that 
is going on through the whole world. There is a tendency 
in mankind to lose all that is peculiar, and in nations to 
part with all that distinguishes them from each other. We 
hear of wonderful changes in habits and customs where 
change seemed impossible. In India and Turkey even, 
peculiarities and prejudices are fading away under the in- 
fluence of time. Amongst ourselves, no doubt, one circum- 
stance tended greatly to call forth, and, as we may say, to 
devolope, the peculiar Scotch humour of which we speak — 
and that was the familiarity of intercourse which took 
place between persons in different positions of life. This 
extended even to an occasional interchange of words between 
the minister and the members of his flock during time of 
service. I have two anecdotes in illustration of this fact, 
which I have reason to believe are quite authentic. In the 
church of Banchory on Deeside, to which I have referred, 
a former minister always preached without book, and being 
of an absent disposition, he sometimes forgot the head of 
discourse on which he was engaged, and got involved in 
confusion. On one occasion, being desirous of recalling to 
his memory the division of his subject, he called out to one 
of his elders, a farmer on the estate of Ley, " Bush (the 
name of his farm"). Bush, ye're sleeping." " Na, sir, I'm no 
sleeping — I'm listening." " Weel then, what had I begun 
to say?" ^^0, ye were saying so and so." This was 
enough, and supplied the minister with the thread of hia 
discourse ; and he went on. The other anecdote related 
to the parish of Cumbernauld, the minister of which was, 
at the time referred to, noted for a very disjointed and 
rambling style of preaching, without method or connection 
His principal heritor was the Lord Elphinstone of the 
time, and unfortunately the minister and the peer were 
not on good terms, and always re^dy to annoy each othei 



SCOTTISH LIFE d: CHARACTER, 241 

by sharp sayings or otherwise. The minister on one 
occasion had somewhat in this spirit called upon the beadle 
to "wauken my Lord Elphinstone," upon which Lord E 
said, " I'm no sleeping, minister." " Indeed you were, my 
lord." He again disclaimed the sleeping. So as a test the 
preacher asked him, " What had I been sajang last then ?" 
" Oh, just wauken Lord Elphinstone." " Ay, but what did 
I say before that V^ " Indeed," retorted Lord Elphinstone, 
" I'll gie ye a guinea if ye'll tell that yersell, minister " 
We cannot imagine the possibility of such scenes taking 
place amongst us in church now. It seems as if all men 
were gradually approximating to a common t}pe or form 
in their manners and views of life ; oddities are sunk^ 
prominences are rounded off, sharp features are polished, 
and all is becoming amongst us smooth and conventional. 
The remark, like the effect, is general, and extends to 
other countries as w^ell as to our own. But as we have 
more recently parted with our peculiarities of dialect, 
oddity, and eccentricity, it becomes the more amusing to 
mark our participation in this change, because a period of 
fifty years shows here a greater contrast than the same 
period would show in many other localities. 

I have already referred to a custom which prevailed in 
all the rural parish churches, and which I remember in 
my early days at Fettercaim ; the custom I mean, now 
qiiite obsolete, of the minister, after pronouncing the bless 
ing, turning to the heritors, who always occupied the front 
seats of the gallery, and making low bows to each family. 
Another custom I recollect : — When the text had been 
given out, it was usual for the elder branches of the con- 
gregation to hand about their Bibles amongst the younger 
members, marking the place, and calling their attention to 
the passage. During service another handing about was 
frequent amongst the seniors, and that was a circulation of 
the sneeshin mull or snuff-box. Indeed, I have heard of 
the same practice in an Episcopal church, and particularly in 
one case of an ordination, where the bishop took his pinch of 



242 EEMINISCENCES OF 

snuff, and handed the mull to go round amongst the clergy 
assembled for the solemn occasion within the altar rails. 

Amongst " reminiscences" which do not extend beyond 
ur own recollection, we may mention the disappearance of 
Trinity Church in Edinburgh, which has taken place within 
the last quarter of a century. It was founded by Mary 
of Gueldres, queen of James 11. of Scotland, in 1446, and 
liberally endowed for a provost, prebendaries, choristers, 
etc. It was never completed, but the portions built — viz., 
choir, transept, and central tower — were amongst the finest 
specimens of later Gothic work in Scotland. The pious 
founder had placed it at the east end of what was then the 
North Loch. Like Lady Glenorchy, she chose her own 
church for the resting-place of her remains as a sanctuary 
of safety and repose. A railway parliamentary bill, how- 
over, overrides founders' intentions and Episcopal consecra- 
tions. Where once stood the beautiful church of the Holy 
Trinity, where once the "pealing organ" and the "full- 
voiced choir" were daily heard "in service high and 
anthems clear" — where for 400 years slept the ashes of a 
Scottish Queen — now resound the noise and turmoil of a 
railway station. 

In our reminiscences of many changes^ which have 
taken place during fifty years in Scottish manners, it might 
form an interesting section to record some of the pecu- 
liarities which remain, I mean such peculiarities as yet 
linger amongst us, and still mark a difference in some of 
our social habits from those of England. Some Scottish 
usages die hard, and are found here and there for the 
amusement of southern visitors. To give a few examples, 
persons still persist among us in calling the head of the 
family, or the host, the landlord, although he never charged 
his guests a halfpenny for the hospitality he exercises. In 
games, golf and curling still continue to mark the national 
character — cricket was long an exotic amongst us. In 
many of our educational institutions, however, it seems 
now fairly to have taken loot. We contiaue to call our 



SCOTTISH LIFE <& CHATLACTER. ' 243 

reception rooms ^^ puUic rooms,'* although never used for 
any but domestic purposes. Military rank is attached to 
ladies, as we speak of Mrs. Lieutenant Fraser, Mrs. Captain 
Scott, Mrs. Major Smith. On the occasion of a death, we 
persist in sending circular notices to all the relatives, 
whether they know of it or not — a custom which, together 
with men wearing weepers at funeral solemnities, is un- 
known in England. Announcing a married lady's death 
under her maiden name must seem strange to English 
ears — as, for example, we read of the demise of Jane Dixon, 
spouse of Thomas Morison. Scottish cookery retains its 
ground, and hotch-potch, minced collops, sheep's head 
singed, and occasionally haggis, are still marked pecu- 
liarities of the Scottish table. These social differences 
linger amongst us. But stronger points are worn away ; 
eccentricities and oddities such as existed once will not 
do now. One does not see why eccentricity should be 
more developed in one age than in another, but we cannot 
avoid the conclusion that the day for real oddities is no 
more. Professors of colleges are those in whom one least 
expects it — grave and learned characters ; and yet such 
have been in former times. We can scarcely now imagine 
such professors as we read of in a past generation. Take 
the case of no less distinguished a person than Adam 
Smith, author of the " Wealth of Nations," who went about 
the streets talking and laughing to himself in such a 
manner as to make the market women think he was 
deranged ; and he told of one himseK who ejaculated, as he 
passed, " Heoh, sirs, and he is weel pat on, too !" expressing 
surprise that a decided lunatic, who from his dress appeared 
to be a gentleman, should be permitted to walk abroad 
unattended. Professors still have their crotchets like 
other people ; but we can scarcely conceive a professor of 
our day coming out like Adam Smith and making fishwives 
pass such observations on his demeanour. There are changes 
which the dignified muse of history will scarcely condescend 
to record or notice ; and are perhaps better described in 



244 EEMimSCENCES OF 

i41e gossip like this than by the historic page ; and thia 
made me remark, as an introduction to the record of these 
anecdotes, that personal recollections and reminiscences 
might be extremely valuable in describing those lighter 
variations of society which do not come properly within 
the scope of history. For example, how could that preva- 
lence of drinking habits, so commonly recognised in all 
classes and varieties of a past generation, be so keenly 
illustrated as by the description of a townsman, a small 
shopkeeper, given by a gentleman noted for his quiet sar- 
castic humour, " 0, he's just a fine religious drucken 
body." Then again take the story told in Lockhart's 
life of Sir W. Scott, of the blacksmith whom Sir Walter 
had formerly known as a horse doctor, and whom he 
found at a small country town south of the Border, prac- 
tising medicine with a reckless use of "laudamy and 
calomy," apologizing at the same time for the mischief he 
might do, by the assurance that it " would be lang before 
it made up for Flodden." How graphically it describes the 
interest felt by Scotchmen of his rank in the incidents 
of their national history. A similar example has been 
recorded in connection with Bannockborn. Two English 
gentlemen visited the field of that great battle, and a 
country blacksmith pointed out with much intelligence 
the positions of the two armies, the stone on which was 
fixed the Bruce's standard, etc. The gentlemen, on leaving, 
pressed his acceptance of a crown-piece. " Na, na," replied 
the Scotsman, with much pride, " it has cost ye eneuch 
already." Such an example of self-denial on the part of a 
Scottish cicerone is, we fear, now rather a " reminiscence." 
In further illustration of these remarks, we may refer 
to the bearing of some old-fashioned language upon past 
national historical connections. Thus, from some words 
which are quite domesticated throughout Scotland, we 
learn how close, at one time, must have been our alliance 
with France, and how much influence must have been 
exercised upon general society by French intercourse. 



SCOTTISH LIFE & CHARACTER. 245 

Scoto-Gallic words were quite differently situated from 
French words and phrases adopted in England. With ua 
they proceeded from a real admixture of the two peoples. 
With us they were of the ordinary common language of 
the country, that was from a distant period moulded by 
French. In England, the educated and upper classes of 
late years adopted French words and phrases. With us, 
some of our French derivatives are growing obsolete as 
vulgar, and nearly all are passing from fashionable society. 
In England, we find the French-adopted words rather 
receiving accessions than going out of use. 

Examples of words such as we have referred to, as 
showing a French influence and admixture, are familiar to 
many of my readers. I recollect some of them in constant 
use amongst old-fashioned Scottish people, and those terms, 
let it be remembered, are unknown in England. 

A leg of mutton was always, with old-fashioned Scotch 
people, a gigot (Fr. gigot). 

The crystal jug or decanter in which water is placed 
upon the table, was a caraff (Fr. carafe). 

Gooseberries were groserts, or grossarts (Fr. groseille). 

Partridges were pertricks, — a word much more formed 
upon the French perdrix than the English partridge. 

The plate on which a joint or side-dish was placed upon 
the table was an ashet (Fr. assiette). 

In the old streets of Edinburgh, where the houses are 
very high, and where the inhabitants all live in flats, before 
the introduction of soil-pipes there was no method of dis- 
posing of the foul water of the household, except by throw- 
ing it out of the window into the street. This operation, 
dangerous to those outside, was limited to certain hours, 
and the well-known cry which preceded the missile and 
warned the passenger, was gardeloo ! or, as Smollet writes 
it, gardy loo (Fr. garde de I'eau). 

Anything troublesome or irksome used to be called, 
Scottic^, fashions (Fr. facheux, facheuse) ; to fash one's-self 
(Fr. se facher). 



246 



EEMimSCENCES OF 



The small clierrj, botli black and red, common in 
gardens, is in Scotland, never in England, termed gean (Fr. 
guigne), from Guigne, in Picardy. 

The term dambrod, which has already supplied 
materials for a good story, arises from adopting French 
terms into Scottish language, as dams were the pieces with 
which the game of draughts was played (Fr. dammes). 

A bedgown, or loose female upper garment, is still in 
many parts of Scotland termed a jupe (Fr. jupe). 

In Kincardineshire the ashes of a blacksmith's furnace 
had the peculiar name of smiddy-coom (Fr. ecume, i.e., 
dross). 

Oil, in common Scotch, used always to be ule, — as the 
uley pot, or uley cruse (Fr. huile). 

Many of my readers are no doubt familiar with the 
notice taken of these words by Lord Cockburn, and with 
the account which he gives of these Scottish words derived 
from the French, probably during the time of Queen 
Mary's minority, when French troops were quartered in 
Scotland. I subjoin a more full list, for which I am in- 
debted to a correspondent, because the words of it still 
lingering amongst us are in themselves the best Remini- 
scences of former days. 



Scotch. 


English. 




French. 


Serviter 


Napkin 


From Serviette. 


Gigot (of mutton) 




>) 


Gigot. 


Reeforts 


Radishes 


5) 


Raiforts. 


Grosserts 


Gooseberries 


?) 


Groseilles. 


Gardyveen 


Case for holding wine 


>> 


Garde-vin. 


Jupe 


Part of a woman's dress 


>> 


Jupe. 


Bonnaille 


A parting glass Tvdth a 
friend going on a 
journey 


>> 


Bon aller. 


Gysart 


Person in a fancy dress 


»> 


Guise. 


Dambrod 


Draught-board 


>J 


Dammes. 


Pan trifles 


Slippers ' 


,, 


Pantouflea 


Haggis 


Hashed meat 


»» 


Hachis. 



SCOTTISH LIFE cfe CHARACTER. 



217 



Sijotch. 


English. 




French. 


Gon 


Taste, smell 


From Gout 


Hogue 


Tainted 


)) 


Haut gout 


Grange 


Granary 


j> 


Grange. 


Moiitei 


Miller's perquisite 


)> 


Mouture. 


Dour 


Obstinate 


jj 


Dur. 


Douce 


Mild 


»> 


Doux. 


Dorty 


Sulky 


)) 


Duret^. 


Braw 


Fine 


»» 


Brave 


Kimmer 


Gossip 




Comm^re. 


Jalouse 


Suspect 


>> 


Jalouser. 


Yizzy 


To aim at, to examine 


>j 


Yiser. 


Ruckle 


Heap (of stones) 


a 


Recueil. 


Gardy-loo 


(Notice well known in 
Edinburgh) 


if 


Gardez I'eau. 


Dementit 


Out of patience, de- 
ranged 


if 


Dementir. 


On my verity 


Assertion of truth 


a 


Verity. 


By my certy 


Assertion of truth 


a 


Certes. 


A^umrie 


Cupboard 


a 


Almoire, in old 
French, 


Walise 


Portmanteau 


fi 


Yalise. 


tucker 


Sugar 


a 


Sucre. 


Edinburgh street cry 


;_< < Neeps like sucker. Whae'U buy neeps ? " (turnips). 


Petticoat-tails 


Cakes of triangular 


a 


Petits gatelles 




shapes 




(gateaux). 


Ashet 


Meat-dish 


a 


Assiette. 


Fashions 


Troublesome 


J, 


Facheux. 


Prush, Madame* 


Call to a cow to come 


J, 


Approchez, 




forward 




Madame, 



* This expression was adopted apparently la ridicule of the French ap- 
T'lying the word ** Madame " to a cow. 



248 liEMINISCENGES OF 



CONCLUSION. 

In aU these details regarding the changes which many now 
living have noticed to have taken place in our customs and 
habits of society in Scotland, this question must always 
occur to the thoughtful and serious mind, Are the changes 
which have been observed for good? Is the world a 
better world than that which we can remember ? On some 
important points changes have been noticed in the upper 
classes of Scottish society, which unquestionably are 
improvements. For example, the greater attention paid to 
attendance upon public worship, — the disappearance of 
profane swearing and of excess in drinking. But then the 
painful questions arise. Are such beneficial changes y^nem^ 
through the whole body of our countrymen ? may not the 
vices and follies of one grade of society have found a refuge 
in those that are of a lower class 1 may not new faults 
have taken their place where older faults have been 
abandoned ? Of this we are quite sure^ — no lover of his 
country can fail to entertain the anxious wish, that the 
change we noticed in regard to drinking and swearing were 
universal, and that we had some evidence of its being 
extended through all classes of society. We ought certainly 
to feel grateful when we reflect that m many instances 
which we have noticed, the ways and customs of society 
are much improved in common sense, in decency, in 
delicacy, and refinement. There are certain modes of life, 
certain expressions, eccentricity of conduct, coarseness of 
speech, books, and plays, which were in vogue amongst us, 
even fifty or sixty years ago, which would not be tolerated 
in society at the present time. We cannot illustrate this in 



SCOTTISH LIFE ^ CHARACTER. 24& 

a more satisfactory manner than by reference to the acknow- 
ledgment of a very interesting and charming old lady, who 
died so lately as 1823. In 1821, Mrs. Keith of Ravelstone, 
grand-aunt of Sir Walter Scott, thus writes, in returning 
to him the work of a female novelist which she had 
borrowed from him out of curiosity, and to remind her of 
" auld lang syne :" — " Is it not a very odd thing that I, an 
old woman of eighty and upwards, sitting alone, feel myself 
ashamed to read a book which, sixty years ago, I have 
heard read aloud for the amusement of large circles, con- 
sisting of the first and most creditable society in London !" 
There can be no doubt that at the time referred to by Mrs. 
Keith, Tristram Shandy,* Tom Jones, Humphrey Clinker, 
etc., were on the drawing-room tables of ladies whose grand- 
children or great-grandchildren never saw them, or would 
not acknowledge it if they had seen them. But authors 
not inferior to Sterne, Fielding, or Smollet, are now popular, 
and who can describe the scenes of human life with as 
much force and humour, and yet there is nothing in their 
pages which need oflPend the taste of the most refined, or 
shock the feelings of the most pure. This is a change 
where there is also great improvement. It indicates not 
merely a better moral perception in authors themselves, but 
it is itseK a homage to the improved spirit of the age. We 
will hope that, with an improved exterior, there is improve- 
ment in society within. If the feelings shrink from what 
is coarse in expression, we may hope that vice has, in some 
sort, lost attraction. At any rate, from what we discern 

* Sterne, in one of his letters, describes his reading Tristram 
Shandy to his wife and daughter — his daughter copying from 
his dictation, and Mrs. Sterne sitting by and listening whilst she 
worked. In the life of Sterne, it is recorded that he used to 
carry about in his pocket a volume of this same work, and read 
it aloud when he went into company. Admirable reading for 
the church dignitary, the prebendary of York ! How well 
adapted to the hours of social intercourse with friends 1 How 
fitted for domestic seclusion with his family ! 



250 HEMINISCENCES OF 

aroTind us, we hope favourably for the general improve- 
ment of mankind, and of our own beloved country in par* 
ticular. If Scotland, in parting with her rich and racy 
dialect, her odd and eccentric characters, is to lose some- 
thing in quaint humour and good stories, we will hope she 
may grow and strengthen in letter things — good as those 
are which she loses. However this may be, I feel quite 
assured that the examples which I have now given of 
Scottish expressions, Scottish modes and habits of life, and 
Scottish anecdotes, which belong in a great measure to the 
past, and yet which are remembered as having a place in 
the present century, must carry conviction that great changes 
have taken place in the Scottish social circle. There were 
some things belonging to our country which we must all 
have desired should be changed. There were others which 
we could only see changed with regret and sorrow. The 
hardy and simple habits of Scotsmen of many past genera- 
tions, — their industry, economy, and integrity, which made 
them take so high a place in the estimation and the confi- 
dence of the people amongst whom they dwelt in all 
countries of the world. The intelligence and superior 
education of her mechanics and her peasantry, combined 
with a strict moral and religious demeanour, fully justified 
the praise of Burns when he described the humble, though 
sublime piety of the " Cottar's Saturday Night," and we 
can well appreciate the testimony which he bore to the 
hallowed power and sacred influences of the devotional 
exercises of his boyhood's home, when he penned the immor- 
tal words : — 

** From scenes like these old Scotia's grandeur springs, 
That makes her loved at home, revered abroad." 

These things, we hope and trust, under the Divine blessing, 
will never change, except to increase, and will never be- 
come a question of reminiscences for the past. If Scotland 
has lost much of the quaint and original character of former 
lawyers, lairds and old ladies, much of the pungent wit 



SCOTTISH LIFE d- CHARAGTEE, 251 

and dry liumour of sayings in lier native dialect, she can 
afford to sustain the loss if she gain in refinement, and 
lose not the more solid qualities and more valuable 
characteristics by which she has been distinguished. If 
peculiarities of former days are partially becoming obsolete, 
let them at least be preserved. Let our younger contem- 
poraries, let those who are to come, know something of 
them from history, as we elders have known something of 
them from experience. The hiunour and the point can- 
not all be lost in their being recorded, although they may 
lose much. I still hope to see this carried on further by 
others, as I am convinced great additions could be made to 
these reminiscences, which I have endeavoured to preserve. 
Changes of this nature in the habits and language of a 
nation are extremely interesting, and it is most desirable 
that we should have them recorded as well as those greater 
changes and revolutions which it is the more immediate 
object of history to enrol amongst her annals. And, 
whether the changes of which we are now treating mark 
the deterioration or improvement of manners, useful lessons 
and important moral conclusions may be drawn from these 
narratives of the past. Causes are at work which must ere 
long produce still greater changes, and it is impossible to 
foresee what will be the future picture of Scottish life, as 
it will probably be now becoming every year less and less 
distinguished from the rest of the world. But if there 
shall be little to mark our national peculiarities in the 
time to come, we cannot be deprived of our reminiscences 
of the past, I am interested in everything which is 
Scottish. I consider it an honour to have been bom a 
Scotchman. And I make no secret in acknowledging that 
I take pride in my family and ancestral Scottish associa- 
tions. One fair excuse I have to offer for entertaining a 
proud feeling on the subject, one proof I can adduce, that 
a Scottish lineage is considered a legitimate source ol 
self-congratulation, and that is the fact that I never in 
my life knew an English or Irish family with Scottish 



252 REMINISCENCES OF 

relations, wliere tlie 11161111)613 did not refer with much 
complacency to such connection. 

T seem to linger over these Eeminiscences as if unwilling 
to part for ever with the remnants of our past national 
social history. But I will crave permission to add in 
parting the following anecdotes : — The first of them I had 
received long ago, but I delayed its introduction till this 
time, because some reasons existed against bringing it for- 
ward, which have only lately been removed. It should be 
preserved — as I know many competent judges consider it 
as the choice specimen of our past Scottish wit and humour. 
The story is this : The late Sir William Maxwell of Mon- 
reith, grandfather of the present baronet, and brother of 
Jane Duchess of Gordon, was a remarkable specimen of the 
old Scottish laird — shrewd, humorous, and somewhat rough. 
The Earl of Galloway of the time had just been appointed 
Lord-Lieutenant of the county, and Sir William, rather 
against the grain, had consented to pay his respects to him, 
and he went over on a Monday morning. The visit passed 
off smoothly ; but as Sir William was coining away, the 
Earl said, in a rather patronising tone, " I am very glad to 
see you. Sir William ; but you are not perhaps aware that 
I have a day of my oian for receiving. I set apart Fridays 
for seeing my county friends, and shall be glad always to 
see you on that day, whenever you will honour me with a 
call." Sir William was a good deal nettled at this, as he 
thought it a hint against his present visit, and answered 
with some asperity, " My lord, I ken but ae Lord wha has 
a day o' his ain, and, God forgie me, I dinna keep that 

day ; but d me if I keep yours." The other two I 

received since these sheets were committed to the press. 
They were sent to me from Golspie, and are original, as 
they occurred to my correspondent's own experience. The 
one is a capital illustration of thrift ; the other of kind 
feeling for the friendless in the E^ghland character. I 
give the anecdotes in my correspondent's own words : — ^A 



SCOTTISH LIFE <& CHARACTER. 253 

little boy, some twelve years of age, came to me one day 
with the following message, " My mother wants a vomit 
from you, sir ; and she bade me say if it will not be strong 
enough, she Tvdll send it back." ^' Mr. Begg," said a 
woman to me, for whom I was weighing two grains of 
calomel for a child, " dinna be so mean wi' it ; it is for a 
poor faitherless bairn." 

In this volume I finally take my leave of " Reminis- 
cences of Scottish Life and Character, " not because I think 
the subject has been exhausted, or that fresh fields of 
inquiry might not be opened ; but having accomplished 
the particular object I had in view, I would now leave to 
others to collect further materials for elucidating the 
manners and habits of our grandfathers. To one at all 
advanced in years, the retrospect of life is but a melancholy 
office, and suggests many painful topics for his reflection. 
The changes which he marks in the world around him, 
the sad blanks which time has made in his own social 
circle, remind him very forcibly of the marked uncer- 
tainties of an earthly condition ; and when, during the 
same period, he is called upon to notice how greatly 
manners, customs, and language have themselves been 
altered, the world in which he now lives seems scarcely 
the same world as that which he can remember. We have 
been retracing footprints of the past, and I can truly say it 
is the love of my country which has induced me to dwell 
so long and so minutely upon certain peculiarities by which 
I can myseK remember it to have been more marked and 
more distinguished than it is at present. The task, per- 
haps, will be called a useless one, — the labour to no good 
end. Why, it may be asked, retain any longer a memory 
of these national peculiarities ? Scotland has become a 
portion of a great empire ; she is not now a separate 
nation, but has become part of a nation more powerful and 
distinguished than anything recorded in her own past 
history. She has lost her individuality, and must be satis- 
fied to take that integral position for evermore. It may be 



254 REMINISCENCES OF 

so ; but this I humbly think offers no reason why we should 
forget our former national greatness and independence, 
Scotland oiice formed a distinct kingdom from England, 
and as we can still point to a remnant of a Regalia w^hich 
belonged to a separate and independent Crown, memory 
will cling to peculiarities which still tell of a separate and 
independent People. 

Scotchmen (at least such as are worthy of the name) 
have always been noted for their love of country. When 
sojourning in distant lands, recollections of Scotland bring 
with them something of that maladie du pays to Scotchmen, 
which is said so often to visit the hardy Swiss when in 
exile — thoughts of his mountain home are brought baclj 
to his recollection. 

There is something quite touching in the attachment 
of Scotchmen to the old Scottish ways and remembrances 
of their early days. No example of this feeling has ever 
struck me more than the story told of old Lord Balmerino, 
which is amongst the many touching anecdotes which are 
traditionary of his unfortunate period. On his return from 
the trial at Westminster Hall, where he had been con- 
demned to death for his adherence to the Stuart cause, he 
saw out of the coach window a woman selling the sweet 
yellow gooseberries which recalled the associations of 
youth in his native country. " Stop a minute," cried the 
old scoffer, who knew his days on earth were numbered ; 
" stop a minute, and gie me a ha'porth of honey blobs, " as 
if he had gone back in fond recollection to his schoolboy 
days in the High Street of Edinburgh, when honey blobs 
had been amongst the pet luxuries of his young life. 

Independent of personal feelings, it must always be 
interesting to mark the features which distinguish one 
people from another, or to note the causes w^hich are 
rendering those distinctions less prominent and less 
striking than they once were ; and if we are destined soon 
to lose all indications of a national existence, let us note, 
ere they vanish, the lingering traces of our past individuality. 



SCOTTISH LIFE <Ss CHARACTER, 255 

We do no wrong surely in cherisliing onr love for Scotland, 
or in retaining a deep interest in all that is still left to 
Scotland. A Scotchman may have his pride and boast in 
being the countryman of those who won the fields of Agin- 
court and Cressy, but without losing the deeper recollection 
of being a descendant of those who fought at Bannockburn 
and Flodden. His heart will swell when he sees the great 
and noble of the land pass before him decorated with the 
blue ribbon and the garter of that ancient order of knight- 
hood, the St. George of England. But does there not spring 
up a warmer interest when his eye rests upon the green 
ribbon and the thistle badge of poor Scotland's order of St. 
Andrew ? A Scotchman may pay all due homage to the 
genius of a Shakspeare, a Milton, a Gibbon, and yet indulge 
a more home and heartfelt pride in the literary achieve- 
ments of a Buchanan, a Walter Scott, and a Macaulay. 
Eeligious differences cannot quench the national feelings 
of a Scotchman towards the piety and the stem sincerity 
of Presbyterian Scotland. Nor will any Scottish Epis- 
copalian — even the most attached to his own form of polity 
and worship — ever fail to pay his tribute of respect and 
admiration to the old Scottish elder of a simpler creed, or ever 
cease to feel a Scotchman's national pride in the stern and 
unbending piety of men who maintained, at the hazard of 
life and property, the Covenant which they had signed 
with their blood. We feel assured that such feelings and 
such emotions are, in their tendencies, favourable to the 
human character. 

We have at least the authority of our own Walter Scott 
in favour of such a sentiment. In the often-quoted passage 
from the " Lay," how indignantly he makes his aged min- 
strel spurn the thought of any one with right feelings being 
utterly indifferent to the name and sympathy of Country ; 
— in whom are awakened no emotions of pride at a re- 
membrance of its former triumph and its past glories — 
in whom is no sense of indignation for its wrongs, and nc 
sorrow for its humiliation : — 



256 REMINISCENCES OF 

** Breathes there the man with soul so dead, 
Who never to himself hath said, 
This is my own, my native land ! 
Whose heart hath ne'er within him burn'd, 
As home his footsteps he hath tnrn'd, 
From wandering on a foreign strand I " 

With what deep indignation does he mark this character, in 
whomsoever it may be found, and with whatever rank or 
fortune allied ! — 

** If such there breathe, go, mark him well ; 
For him no minstrel raptures swell ; 
High though his titles, proud his name, 
Boundless his wealth as wish can claim ; 
Despite those titles, power, and pelf, 
The wretch, concentered all in self, 
Living, shall forfeit fair renown, 
And, doubly dying, shall go down 
To the vile dust, from whence he sprung, 
Unwept, unhonour'd, and unsung." 

Such language as this, it may perhaps be said, is to be 
judged of rather as an effusion of poetical enthusiasm than 
as a deliberate judgment, or as belonging to the business of 
real life. It should be remembered, however, that genuine 
poetry will ever draw its best appeals and noblest in- 
spirations from the realities of himian existence. Scott 
was a true poet ; but no man took more sagacious views 
of life and character. He holds up patriotism as a virtue 
and excellence of our nature, and as leading men to right 
feelings and lofty sentiments. And he was right. 

Love of country must draw forth good feeling in 
men's minds, as it will tend to make them cherish a de- 
sire for its welfare and improvement. To claim kindred 
with the honourable and high-minded, as in some degree 
allied with them, must imply at least an appreciation of 
great and good qualities. Whatever, then, supplies men 
with a motive for following upright and noble conduct 



SCOTTISH LIFE d: CHARACTER, 257 

— whatever advances in them a kindly benevolence to- 
wards fellow-countrymen in distress, miist have a beneficial 
effect upon the hearts and intellects of a Christian people 
— and these objects are, I think, all more or less fostered 
and encouraged under the influence of that patriotic spirit 
which identifies national honour and national happiness 
with its own. 

There is one point connected with the publication of 
these Eeminiscences on which, although of an entirely per- 
sonal nature, I am desirous, before closing the volume, of 
saying a few words. There may be persons who do no* 
sympathise with my great desire to preserve and to 
record these specimens of Scottish humour; indeed, I 
have reason to suspect that some have been disposed to 
consider the time and attention which I have given to the 
subject as ill-bestowed, and perhaps even as somewhat un- 
suitable to one of my advanced age and sacred profession. 
If any persons really think so, all I would say is, I cannot 
agree with them. National peculiarities must ever form 
an interesting and improving study, inasmuch as it is a 
study of human nature ; and the anecdotes of this volume 
not only illustrate features of the Scottish mind, which, 
as moral and religious traits of nature, are deeply inter- 
esting, but are marks of character which are fast fading from 
our view. I desire to preserve peculiarities which I think 
should be recorded because they are national, and because 
they are Reminiscences of genuine Scottish Life and 
Character. No doubt these peculiarities have been deeply 
tinged with the quaint and quiet humour which is more 
strictly characteristic of our countrymen than their wit. 
And, as exponents of that humour, our stories may often 
have excited some harmless merriment in those who have 
appreciated the real fun of the dry Scottish character. 
That, I trust, is no offence. I should never be sorr}'- to 
think that, within the " limits of becoming mirth," I had 
contributed, in however small a degree, to the entertain- 
ment and recreation of my countrymen. I am convinced 



258 SCOTTISH LIFE & CEARAGTEK 

that every one, whether Clergyman or Layman, who adds 
something to the innocent enjoyment of human life, has 
joined in a good work, inasmuch as he has diminished 
the inducement to vicious indulgence. God knows there 
is enough of sin and of sorrow in the world to make sad 
the heart of every Christian man. No one, I think, need 
be ashamed of having sought to cheer the darker hours of 
his fellow-travellers' steps through life, or to beguile their 
hearts, when weary and heavy-laden, into cheerful and 
amusing trains of thought. So far as my experience of 
life goes, I have never found that the cause of morality 
and religion was promoted by sternly checking all tenden- 
cies of our nature to relaxation and amusement. If man- 
kind be too ready to enter upon pleasures which are 
dangerous or questionable, it is the part of wisdom and of 
benevolence to supply them with sources of interest, the 
enjoyment of which is innocent and permissible. 

It would be affectation to disclaim having been deeply 
gratified by the favourable reception which has for so long 
a time been given to these Reminiscences both at home 
and in all countries where Scotchmen are to be found. It 
has been very pleasant for the author to think that there 
were times in which this little work may have cheered the 
hour of depression or of sickness — that even for a few 
moments it may have beguiled the pressure of corroding 
care and worldly anxiety. He has been desirous of saying 
a word in favour of old Scottish life ; and with some 
minds, perhaps, the book may have promoted a more 
kindly feeling towards hearts and heads of bygone days. 
And certainly the author of this work can truly say that 
his highest reward — his greatest honour and gratification 
— would spring from the feeling that it had become a 
standard volume in Scottish cottage libraries, and that by 
the firesides of Scotland his pages had become as " house- 
hold words," 



INDEX. 



Abercairney, Laird of, prevented 
ixovci ^oing out in '15, 228. 

Aberdeen, description of, by a Mon- 
trose young lady, 123. 

Aberdeen dialect, perfect specimen of, 
125. 

Aberdeen provost, wife of, at the opera, 
123. 

Aberdeen, two ladies of, mutual re- 
crimination, 123. 

Accommodation, grand, for snuff, xx. 

Adam, Dr., Latin translation of Scot- 
tish expressions, 89. 

Adam Smith marked as most eccentric, 

243- 

Advice to a minister in talkmg to a 
ploughman, 178. 

Airth, housekeeper at, on king of 
France, 5. 

** Apple," bottle of beer strong o', 202. 

Allardice, Rev. Alexander, his humor- 
ous stories, 6. 

Anecdotes of quaint Scottish character, 
218. 

Answer to stranger asking the way, 161. 

Answers, dry specimens of, 162. 

Appetite, farmer's reason for minister's 
good appetite, 174. 

Asher, minister of Inveraven, anecdote 
of, 190. 

Athole, Duke of, answer of his cottar, 
172. 

Auction, anecdote of spoon missing, 
101. 

Auld lang syne, beauty of the expres- 
sion, 88. 

Authors, older ones indecent, 249 

Baby, a laddie or a lassie, 77. 

Baird, Mrs., of Newbyth, remark of, 

as to her son in India, 99. 
Balmerino and honey-blobs, 254. 
Balnamoon, laird of, carriage to had in, 

168. 
Balnamoon, laird of, great drinker, 

166. 



Balnamoon, laird of, joke with his ser- 
vant, 183. 

Balnamoon, laird of, refuses his wig, 167. 

Balnamoon, praying and drinking at, 
168. 

Banes, distinction of, by a beggar, 172. 

Banes, Eraser's weel-baned, 210. 

Bannockburn, guide to, refusing an 
Englishman's five shillings, 244. 

Bannockburn, Scottish remark upon, 
186, 187. 

Baptism, minister and member of his 
flock, 28. 

Barclay of Ury, M.P., walk to London, 

131- 

Bathgate, mending the ways of, 205. 

Beadle, equivocal compliment to minis- 
ter's sermons, 232. 

Beadle or Betheral, Character of, 206. 

Beast, a stumbling, at least honest, 180. 

Beggar, expressing his thanks to a 
clerical patron, 234. 

Bellman of Craigie, notice from, 201. 

Betheral, evidence of, regarding drink- 
ing, 52. 

Betheral, making love professionally, 
xxxv. 

Betheral stories, xxxiii. 

Betheral, a conceited one, 208. 

Betheral, answer to minister, 207. 

Betherals, conversation of two, regard- 
ing their ministers, 207. 

Betheral criticising a clergyman, 208. 

Betheral, criticism on a text, 209. 

Betheral, on a dog that was noisy, 
210. 

Betheral, on the town bailies, 209 

Betheral, Scottish, answer to minister 
on being drunk, 201. 

Betheral taking a dog out of church, 
209. 

Blessing by Scottish Bishops, form of, 
become a reminiscence, xliv. 

Boatie, character on Deeside, 72, 73. 

Boatie of Deeside and Providence, xiv. 

Body, a fine religious drunken, 244. 



260 



II^DEX. 



Books, older ones indecent, 249. 
Border, conceited packman from, 170. 
Border, selvidge, weakest bit of tne 

wab, 179. 
Bowing to heritors, 33. 
Boy, anecdote of, 166. 
Boy, servant, smashing the plates, xxi. 
Braxfield, Lord, a man of wit, 133. 
Braxfield, Lord, character of as a 

judge, 132. 
Braxfield, Lord, conducting the trial 

of Muir, Palmer, and Skirving, etc., 

133- 
Braxfield, Lord, delighted with reply 

of Scotch Minister, 133. 
Braxfield, Lord, spoke the broadest 

Scotch, 132. 
Briggs, the sergeant, dry description 

of, by Scottish nobleman, 198. 
Brougham, Lord, on Scottish dialect, 

89, 90. 
Brown, Rev. John of Whitburn, ans- 
wer to rude youth, 18, 204. 
Buccleuch, Duchess of, asking farmer 

to take cabbage, 164. 
Bull, specimen of Scottish confusion of 

ideas, 90, 91. 
**Bulls of Bashan " applied by a lady to 

herself, xxvi. 
Burns, a son of, and Charles Lamb, 

Burns conducted famil}" worship, xlii. 
Burying-place, choice of, 25. 
Bush, conversation with minister m 
church, 240. 

Campbell OF CoMBiE andMissM 'Nab, 
anecdote of, 163. 

Canny, illustration of one of its mean- 
ings, 233. 

Carlyle, Dr., account of minister's 
drinking in last century, 65. 

Carlyle, Dr., prosecuted by General 
Assembly for attending theatre, 38. 

Carnegie, Miss Helen, of Craigo, 
anecdotes of, 102. 

Carnegie, Miss, of Craigo, and James 
III. and VIIL, 46. 

Carrier, a country, description of his 
journeys, no. 

Catastrophe, whimsical application of 
the word, 224. 

** Ceevil," in courtship, may be carried 
too far, 103. 

Cemeteries, treatment of, much chan- 
ged, 17. 

Chalmers, Dr., poor woman's reason 
for hearing, 43. 

Chan|^es, example of, in an old Laird 
seemg a man at the pianoforte, 237. 



Changes fast going on around us, 236. 
Changes in Scottish manners and 

dialect, 251. 
Changes, interesting to mark, xlvi. 
Changes taking place, here noticed, 

253- 
Changes taking place in Scotland, xlv. 
Changes, various causes for, 238. 
Chaplain of a jail, humorous reasons 

for his appointment, 176. 
Character, national, fading away, 257. 
Children, curious answers of, xxviii. 
Children, very poor, examples of acute- 

ness, 165. 
Churches, a coachman's reason for 

their increase, 14. 
Churches, architects idea of difference 

between two, 13. 
Churches, handsome structure of, more 

comm.on, 13. 
Church discipline, old fashioned, 27. 
Church-going of late neglected in towns, 

43- 

Church-going, Scotchmen not famous 
for, fifty years ago, 9. 

Churchyard, drunken weaver in, 18. 

Circuit, a drunken one, 52. 

Circuit, one described by Lord Cock- 
burn, 52. 

Clergy, Gaelic, not judged severely on 
account of drinking, 54. 

Clergyman footsore in grouse shoot- 
ing, 222. 

Clerk, John, apology for friend, xxxv. 

Clerk, John, address to presiding 
judge, xxxvi. 

Coalstoun, Lord, anecdote of, when 
tipsy, 169. 

Cockburn, Lord, on Scottish changes, 
5>. 

Collie dogs, sagacity of, 34. 

Confession of faith, xiv. 

Confirmation, anecdote concerning, 

XXV. 

Country, love of, stated by Sir Walter 

Scott, 256. 
Conviviality, old Scottish, and forced, 

47-. . . 
Conviviality, Scotch, complaint of by 

a London merchant, 48. 
Corb, and Sir George Ramsay, 170. 
Corehouse, Lord, prediction of not rising 

at the bar, by a Selkirk writer, 51. 
" Corp's brither" at a funeral, 182. 
Cottars' Saturday night, fine picture, 

250. 
Country minister and his wife, large i 

bed, 108. 
Craigmyle, Laird of, and Duchess of » 

Gordon, 169. 



INDEX, 



261 



Cream, landlord of inn at Laurence- 
kirk, and Lord Dunmore, 129. 

Gumming, Dr. Patrick, convivial 
clergyman, 64. 

Cumnock, volunteers of, 180. 

Cultoquhey, old Lau-d of, morning 
litany, 157. 

Cutty-stool, former use of, 26. 

Daft Person, his choice of money. 

Dale, anecdotes of his servant, 81. 

Dalhousie, Lady, 168. 

David Dewar, Baptist minister at Dum- 

ferline, 176. 
Davie, chiel that's chained to, 99. 
Davie Gellatley's, many in the country-, 

188. 
Death, circumstances of, coolly treated, 

23, 24. 
Death of a sister described by old lady, 

104. 
Decrees of God, answer of old woman, 

xxviii. 
Delicacy of recent authors compared 

with older, 249, 
Dialects, distinctions on Scottish, 120. 
Dialect, Scottish, real examples of, 87, 

88. 
Dialects, provosts Aberdeen and Edin- 
burgh, 124. 
Diminutives, terms of endearment, 

116. 
Discreet, curious use of word, 112. 
Diseases of children, odd names for, 

113- 
Dochart, same as Macgregor, 206. 
" Doggie, doggie," address of idiot to a 

greyhound, 200. 
Dogs in church, anecdotes of, 209, 210. 
Donald, Highland servant, 82. 
Donkey, apology of his master for 

putting him into a field, 234. 
Downie, minister of Banchory, and 

son's marriage, xv. 
Drams in Highlands, anecdotes of, 63. 
Dream of idiot, Ayr, town of, and 

apostle Peter, 196. 
Drinking, apology for, 205. 
Drinking at Castle Grant, 62. 
Drinking, challenge against, by Mr. 

Boswell of Balmuto, 48. 
Drinking parties of Saturday, some- 
time took in Sunday, 61. 
Drinking party, *' lad employed to loose 

the neckclothes," 56. 
Drinking party, quantity consumed b)', 

5.3- 
Drinking reckoned an accomplishment, 

52. 



Drinking, supposed manliness attached 

to, 50. 
Drovers drinking in Highlands, 49. 
Drumly, happy explanation of, 89. 
Drummond of Keltic, answer to itiner- 
ant tailor, 235. 
Dim, Miss Erskine of, 100. 
Dunbar, Sir Archibald, account of a 

servant, 86. 
Dundrennan, Lord, anecdote of a silly 

basket-woman, 192. 
Dunlop, Rev. Walter, address to Dr. 

Cook of St. Andrews, 203. 
Dunlop, Rev. Walter, a duck in his 

pocket, 184. 
Dunlop, Rev. Walter, and Dr. Wight- 
man, a bachelor, 185. 
Dunlop, Rev. Walter, and his denner- 

tea," 184. 
Dunlop, Rev. Walter, and Mr. Clarke's 

big head, 203. 
Dunlop, Rev. Walter, man of racy 

humour, 184. 
Dunlop, Rev. Walter, meeting flock of 

geese, 203. 
Dunlop, Rev. Walter, on a taciturn 

brother, 203. 
Dunlop, Rev. Walter, refreshment after 

service, 184. 
Dunlop, Watty, and mischievous youths 

in kirkyard, 215. 
Dunlop, Watty, answer to two young 

men, 214. 
Dunlop, Watty, opinion of Edward 

Irving, 215. 

Economy, specimen of Scottish, 93. 
" E'ening brings a' hame," expressed by 

Lord Byron, 150. 
Eldin, Lord (John Clerk), anecdotes 

of, 126, 127. 
Election, answer of minister to question, 

xviii. 
Endearment, Scottish terms of, xxxi. 
Englishman, an inipruived, 188. 
Episcopalian Chapels, anecdote of Sir 

W. Forbes, 11. 
Erskine, Colonel, servant proposes an 

aith for his relief, 230. 
Erskine, Hon. Henry, dinner party at 

Lord Armadale's, 225. 
Estate, giving the name to proprietor, 

Examinations of communicants, 35, 30. 
Expressions, old Scottish and modern 

slang contrasted, 117, 118, 119. 
Expressions, specimens of Scottish, 1,7. 

Factors, proposal to sow field with, 

194. 



262 



INDEX, 



Fail, curious use of word, 114. 
P'amily worship now more common, 

15, 
Family worship, Fiemark upon, 15. 
Farmer, answer of, when asked to take 

rhubart tart, 164. 
Farmer, cool answer regarding notes, 

164. 
Farmer on Deeside and bottle of vine- 
gar, 202. 
Farmer refusing a dessert spoon, 203. 
Farmer, Scottish, conversation with 

English girl, 227. 
Farms, giving names to the tenants. 

156. 
Fencing tables, by an old minister, 26. 
Fencing the deil, 222 
Fettercairn, custom of bowing to 

heritors, 241. 
Fife, Lord, proposal to, by an idiot, 

194. 
Finzean, Laird of, sweanng, it. 
Fit raiment, explanation of, by child, 

37. 
Fleeman, Jamie, anecdote of, 194. 
Fleeman, Jamie, the Laird of Udny's 

fool, life of, published, 194. 
" Floorish o' the surface," to describe a 

preacher, 217. 
Forbes's banking-house, anecdotes of, 

53- 
Fraser, Jamie, address to minister in 

kirk, 198. 
Frail, curious use of word, 114. 
Fraser, Jamie, idiot of Lunan, 191. 
Free Church, road of, "tolls unco high," 

221. 
French people, a clause in their favour, 

by a Scotch minister, 173. 
Fruit, abstinence from, by minister, xii. 
Funeral, anecdote of in Strathspey, 54. 
Funeral, carrying at or leaning, 200. 
Funeral, extraordinary account of a 

Scottish, at Carluke, 181. 
Funeral of a Laird of Dundonald, 55. 
Funeral, reason for a farmer taking 

another glass, 182. 
Funeral, reason for a person being 

officious at, 182. 
Funeral, taking orders for, on death- 
bed, xiii. 
Funeral, the coffin forgotten at, 55. 

Galloway, Earl of, and Sir W. 

Maxwell of Monreith, 252. 
Galloway, Lady, declining drink, 64. 
Gardenstone, Lord, and his book at the 

inn, 128. 
Gardenstone, Lord, and his pet pig, 

1-9. 



Gardenstone, Lord, exertions of, for 
Laurencekirk, 128. 

Gardenstone, Lord, keeping snuff in 
his waistcoat pocket, 129. 

Gardenstone, Lord, personal reminis- 
cences of, 127, 128. 

Garskadden, Laird of, "steppit awa"at 
table, 66. 

General Assembly, minister's prayer 
for, 26. 

George IIL, sickness of, advantageous 
to candlemakers, 177. 

Ghost appearing to Watty Dunlop, 215. 

Gilchrist, Dr., answer to young minis- 
ter on Lord's Prayer, 217. 

Gilchrist, Dr., answer to one of his 
hearers, who had changed his re- 
ligion, 217. 

Gillespie, Professor, and village car- 
penter, 222. 

Gillespie, Rev. Mr., and old woman 
sleeping when he preached, 223. 

Glasgow, toast after dinner, hint to the 
ladies, 49. 

Glenorchy, Lady, and the elder at the 
plate at Caprington, 219. 

Glenorchy, Lady, removal of her re- 
mains on account of railroad, 220. 

Grave, making love at, xxxv. 

Gregory, Dr., story of Highland chief, 
ix. 

Grieve, on Deeside, opinion of young 
man's preaching, 217. 

Guthrie, Helen, and her husband, xxvii. 

Haddock, curious use of word, 115. 
"Halbert, smells damnably of," 198. 
Hamilton, Laird, at the palace asking . 

the servant to sit down, 171. 
Hamilton, Laird, noted for eccentricity, 

Hamilton, Laird, reasons for not sign- 
ing a bill, 171. 

Hamilton, Rab, an idiot at Ayr, 190. 

Hamilton Rab, idiot, anecdotes of, 
196. 

Hangman, Scotch drover acting as, 
187. 

Hatter at Laurencekirk, viii. 

Harvest, returning thanks for good, 
21Q. 

Heaven, little boy's refiisal of, 25. 

Heaven, old woman's idea of, 24. 

Heritors, bowing to, 33. 

Heritor sending the hangman of Stir- 
ling to pay the minister, 232. 

Hermand, Lord, great drinker but first- 
rate lawyer, 134. 
j Hermand, Lord, jokes with young 
' advocate, 134. 



INDEX. 



263 



Hermand, Lord, opinion of drinking, 
62. 

Highland chief, story of, ix. 

Highland gentlemen, first time In Lon- 
don, ix. 

Highlands kept up the custom of clans 
or races, 157. 

Hill, Dr., Latin translation of Scottish 
expressions, 89. 

Holy communion, several anecdotes 
concerning, 40. 

Home, John, author of Douglas, lines 
on port wine, 226. 

Home, John, remark of, to David 
Hume, 33. 
' Honesty declared the best policy, 
why, XV. 

Honey blobs and Lord Balmerino, 254. 

Honeyman's, Mrs., answer to Henry 
Erskine's impromptu lines, 226. 

Hospitals changes, xlv. 

Hot day, cool remark on, xvli. 

Hume, David, refused assistance ex- 
cept on conditions, 42. 

Humour of Scotch language, 85. 

Humour, Scottish, described in "Annals 
of the Parish," 160. 

Humour, Scottish, description of, 160. 

Husband, boasting of what he had 
done for four wives, 231. 

Idiot boy, and penurious uncle, 200. 
Idiot boy, pathetic story of one re- 
ceiving communion, 199. 
Idiot in Lauder, cheating the seceders. 

Idiot, musical one at Stirling, appro- 
priate tune, 197. 

Idiot of Lauder, and Lord Lauder- 
dale's steward, 196. 

Idiot, pathetic complaint of, regarding 
bubbly jock, 190. 

Idiot, why not asleep in church, 191. 

Idiots, Act of Parliament concerning, 

193- 
Idiots, fondness for attending funerals, 

192. 
Idiots, parish, often very shrewd, 188. 
India, St. Andrew's day kept in, by 

Scotchmen, xi. 
Innes, Jock, remark upon hats and 

heads, 176. 
Interchange of words between minister 

and flock in church, 240. 
Intercourse between classes changed, 

78. 
Jacobite feeling, 44, 
Jacobite lady, reason for not rising from 

her chair, no. 
Jacobite's prayer for the King, 45. 



Jamie, old servant, anecdotes of, 74. 

Jock, daft, attending funeral at Wig- 
town, 193. 

Jock Grey, supposed original of David 
Gellatly, 192. 

Jock Webster, "dell gaes ower," a 
proverb, 147. 

John Brown, burgher minister, and an 
auld wifie, 18. 

Johnnie, minister's man, to be married, 
xxiii. 

John, eccentric servant, anecdotes of, 
81. 

Johnstone, Miss, of Westerhall, speci- 
men of fine old Scotch lady, 99, 100. 

Johnstone, Rev., of Monquhitter, and 
travelling piper, 202. 

Judges, Scottish, former peculiarities 
as a type, 125. 

Judges, Scottish, in Kay's portraits, 
125. 

Kames, Lord, his joke with Lord 
Monboddo, 130. 

" Kaming her husband's head," 213. 

Keith, Mrs., of Ravelston, her remark 
to Sir W. Scott on old books, 249. 

Kirks, ** mair kirks the mair sin," xxvi. 

Kirkyard crack, 78. 

Kirkyard crack superseded by news- 
papers, 78. 

Ladies of Montrose, anecdotes of, 

lOI. 

Ladies, old, of Montrose, xvi. 

Lady's, old, answer to her doctor, 
105. 

Lady, old maiden, of Montrose, reason 
for not subscribing to volunteer fund, 
108. 

Lady, old, of Montrose, objections to 
steam vessels, and gas, and water- 
carts, 107. 

I^ady, old Scotch, remark on loss of 
her box, 108. 

Lady, Scottish, Lord Cockburn's ac- 
count of, 98. 

Laird, parsimonious, and plate at 
church-door, 202. 

Laird, reason against taking his son 
into the world, 176. 

Laird reproaches his brother for not 
taking a wife, 232. 

Laird, saving, picking up a farthing. 

Laird, Scottish, delighted that Christ- 
mas had run away, 171. 

Lamb, Charles, saw no wit in Scotch 
people, 158. 

Land, differences of, in produce, 177. 



264 



INDEX. 



Lauderdale, Duke of, and Williamson 

the huntsman, i86. 
Lauderdale, Earl of, recipe of his daft 

son to make him sleep, 226. 
Laurencekirk, change in, vlii. 
Laurencekirk, described in style of 

Thomas the Rhymer, 129. 
** Linties " and Scottish settler in 

Canada, xxx. 
I-inty offered as fee for baptism, xxx. 
Liston, Sir Robert, and Scotchmen 

at Constantinople, 92. 
Logan, Laird of, speech at meeting of 

heritors, 180. 
Lord's Praj'er, John Skinner's reason 

for its repetition, 175. 
Lothian, Lord, in India, St. Andrew's 

day, xi. 
Lothian, Marquis of, an old Countess 

at table, 228. 

M'CuBBiN, Scotch minister, witty 

answer to Lord Braxfield, 133. 
M'Knight, Dr., "dry eneuch in the 

pulpit," 212. 
M 'Knight, Dr. , folk tired of his sermon, 

213. 
M 'Knight and Henry, twa toom kirks, 

212. 
M 'Knight, Dr., remark on his harmony 

of the four gospels, 212. 
x.Iacleod, Norman, Rev., and highland 

boatman, xiv. 
Maclecd, Norman, Rev., and revivals, 

xiii. 
M'Lymont, John, the idiot, anecdote 

of, 188. 
M'Nab, Laird of, his horse and whip, 

T70- 

Marriage, minister said harmless amuse- 
ment, xxiii. 

Marriage, old minister's address upon, 
28. 

Mary of Gueldres, bur>'ing-place now 
a railway, 242. 

Mastiff, where turned into a grey- 
hound, 173. 

Maxwell, Sir W., of Monreith, and 
Earl of Galway, 252 

Mice consumed minister's sermon, 
xxii. 

Middens, example of attachment to, 
86. 

Military rank attached to ladies, 243. 

Milligan, Dr., answer to a tired clerg^'- 
man, 180. 

Minister, anecdote of little boy at 
school, 174. 

Minister, stupid, education and placing, 
3. 



Minister asking who was head of the 

house, 218. 
Minister, conversation with Janet his 

parishioner, 174. 
Minister in the north on long sermons, 

216. 
Minister on a dog barking in church, 2 10. 
Minister preaching on the water-side 

attacked by ants, 216. 
Minister reading his sermon, 205. 
Minister returning thanks for good har- 
vest. 219. 
Minister, Scottish, advice to young 

preachers, 206. 
Minister Scottish, answer to a young 
man, who pulled cards out of his 
pocket during church, 214. 
Minister, with " great power of watter," 

208. 
Minister, young, apology for good 

appetite after preaching, 174, 
Minister called to a new living, 109. 
Minister's man, account of, 210. 
Minister's man, criticisms of his master's 

sermon, 211. 
Ministers, Scottish, a type of Scottish 

character, 3. 
Minister sending for his sermon in 

pulpit, xxii. 
Miss Miller, (Countess of Mar), and 

Scotch minister, 34. 
Monboddo, Lord, anecdote in Court of 

King's Bench, 131. 
?\lonboddo, Lord, theory of primitive 

men having tails, 130. 
Monboddo, Lord, though a judge, did 

not sit on the bench, 131. 
Monboddo, Lord, visit at Oxford, 131. 
Money, love of, discussion on, xvii. 
->Iontrose bailie's eldest son, 109. 
Montrose, Lady's, idea of man, 103. 
Montrose, provost of, conversation 

with an old maid, 102. 
Muilton, Jock, idiot, and a penurious 

Laird, 197, 
Munrimmon Moor, no choice of wigs, 
167. 

Na, different modifications of the word, 
94. 

Nelson, Lord, explanationof his motto, 
186. 

Nichol, an old servant of Forfarshire, 76. 

Nobleman, mad Scottish, cautious an- 
swer of, 198. 

Nuckle, Watty, betheral, opinion, 
xxxiv. 

Old lady speaking of her own death, 
104, 105. 



INDEX. 



265 



Old sermons, preaching of, 29. 
Organ, mark of distinction, 12. 
Organs becoming more common, 12. 

Papers in pulpit, xxxiii. 

Paradise and Wesleyan minister, xii. 

Parishioner, coolness of, when made an 
elder of the kirk, 234. 

Paul, Dr., his anecdote of idiots, 188. 

Paul Saunders of Banchor^'-, famous for 
drinking, 49. 

Perth, Lady old, remark to a French- 
man on French cookery, 100. 

Phraseology, Scottish, an example of 
pure, 122. 

Phraseology, Scottish force of, xxix. 

Phraseology, true specimen of Scottish, 
xxiv. 

Pig, Scotch minister's account of eating 
one, 42. 

Pinkieburn, faithful servant at, 79. 

Piper and the wolves, xvi. 

Plugging, an odious practice, 66. 

Poetry, Scottish, becoming less popular, 
xxxvii. 

Poetry, Scottish dialect, list of, xxxviii. 

Polkemmet, Lord, account of his judi- 
cial preparations, 126. 

Polkemmet, Lord, his account of killing 
a calf, 126. 

Pony of Free Kirk minister running off 
to glebe, xxii. 

Poole, Dr., his patient's death an- 
nounced, 83. 

Prayers before battle, 109. 

Preacher, a bombastic, reproved satiri- 
cally, 180. 

Preacher, Scottish, and his small bed- 
room at manse where he visited, 
219. 

Preacher, testimony to a good, 217. 

Preaching, formal character of, 30, 31. 

Preachings, old sermons, 29. 

Precentor reading single line of psalm, 

35- . . 
Predestination, answer of minister 

about, xviii. 
Priest Gordon, genuine Aberdonian 

specimen of, 37. 
Priest Matheson, 38. 
Professor, a reverend, his answer to a 

lawyer, 221. 
Pronunciation, Scottish, varieties of, 

make four different meanings, 115. 
Proprietors, two, meeting of described 

by Sir Walter Scott, 156. 
Proverbial expressions, examples of 

some very pithy, 147, 148, 149, 150, 

151, 152, 153- 
Proverbial, Scottish, expressions, 135. 



Proverbs, immense collection of, by 

Ferguson, 138. 
Proverb, Scottish, expressed by Lord 

Byron, 150. 
Proverbs, Scotch, some specially appli- 
cable to the deil, 146. 
Proverbs, Scotland famous for, 135. 
Proverbs, Scottish, Allan Ramsay's 

dedication of, 142. 
Proverbs, Scottish, application of by a 

minister in a storm, 145. 
Proverbs, Scottish, collections of, 136. 
Proverbs, Scottish, collection of by 

Allan Ramsay, 141. 
Proverbs, Scottish, Kelly's collection, 

136. 
Proverbs, Scottish, much used In former 

times, 155. 
Proverbs, Scottish, pretty application 

of, 144. 
Proverbs, Scottish, specimens of, in 

language almost obsolete, 139, 140, 

Providence, mistake of, in regard to 

bairns, 172. 
Psalmody, Scottish, xlli. 
Psalmody, Scottish, improvement of, 

xliv. 

Ramsay, Allan, dedication of his 

proverbs in prose, 142. 
Ramsay, Sir George of Banff, and the 

Laird of Corb, 170. 
Ramsay, two Misses, of Balmain, 

anecdotes of, 106, T07. 
Redd, pigeon found among, 68. 
Regalia, Scottish, still existing, 254. 
Religion, two great changes in ideas 

of, 14. 

Reminiscences" a source of amuse- 
ment, 257. 

Reminiscences " capable of a practical 

application, xlviii. 

Reminiscences" first brought out at 

lecture, 1857, vii. 

Reminiscences," fivefold division of, 

7. 

Reminiscences " have called forth 
communications from others, xi. 
Reminiscences " includes stories of wit 
or humour, 158. 

Reminiscences " mark changes in 
social life, 4. 

Reminiscences," object and purpose 
of, vii. 

Reminiscences," object of, 7. 
Reminiscences " recall pleasant asso- 
ciations, 4. 
Road, Highland, humorously de- 
scribed, 161. 



266 



INDEX. 



Robby, a young dandy, and his old 

aunt, 104. 
Robertson, Principal, advice to, by 

Scotch minister, 50. 
Robison, Mrs., answer to gentleman 

coming to dinner, 105. 
Rockville, Lord, character of as a 

judge, 132. 
Rockville, Lord, description of street, 

when tipsy, 132. 
Ruling elder's answer to jokes of three 

young men, 175. 

Sabbath -Day, and redding up 

drawers, 23. 
Sabbath-day* eggs ought not to be laid 

on, 22. 
Sabbath-day known of by a hare, 22. 
Sabbath desecration, geologist in the 

Highlands, 20. 
Sabbath desecration, stopping the jack 

for, 21. 
Sandy, fine specimen of old servant, 71, 

72- 
Scotchman, notion of things in London, 

X. 

Scotchman of the old school, judgment 
of, upon an Englishman, 188. 

Scotchman, on losing his wife and cow, 
218. 

Scotchman, pride of, in country, 255. 

Scotchmen and love of country, 254. 

Scotch minister and his diary regarding 
quarrels with wife, 213. 

Scott, Dr., minister of Carluke, 182. 

Scott, Dr., on his parishioners dancing, 
183. 

Scotticisms, expressive, pointed, and 
pithy, 94, 95. 

Scotticisms, remarks on, by Sir John 
Sinclair and Dr. Beattie, iii. 

Scotticisms, specimens of, iii. 

Scottish dialect, reference of, to Eng- 
lish, 97. 

Scottish dialect, specimens of, 91, 92. 

Scottish elders and ministers, anecdotes 
of, 20. 

Scottish Episcopalian ,and Covenant, 

255- 
Scottish expressions, examples of 

peculiar applications, 112, 113, 114. 
Scottish expression, illustrated by a 

letter to a young married lady from 

an old aunt, 117, 118. 
Scottish humour and Scottish wit, 159. 
Scottish humour, specimen of, in a Fife 

lass, 161. 
Scottish minstrelsy, object of, 2. 
Scottish music, charm of, xl. 
Scottish peasantry, character of, 250. 



Scottish peasantry, religious feelings of 

19. _ 
Scottish peasantry, religious feelings 

of, changed, 16. 
Scottish phraseology, articles on, in 

"Blackwood," xxxii. 
Scottish psalm-tunes, written some by 

operatives, xliii. 
Scottish shepherd and Lord Cockburn, 

19. _ 
Scottish shepherd and Lord Ruther- 

furd, 19. 
Scottish songs, collections of, xli. 
Scottish verses, charm of, xxxix. 
Scottish words of French derivation, 

244,. 245, 246, 247. 
Scottishness of the national humour, 

161. 
Scott, Rev. Robert, his idea of Nelson's 

motto, 186. 
Scott, Rev. R., of Cranwell, anecdote 

of young carpenter, 80. 
Sir Walter Scott and the blacksmith on 

the battle of Flodden, 244. 
Scott, Sir Walter did not write poetry 

in Scottish dialect, xxxvii. 
Scott, Sir Walter, his story of sale of 

antiques, 96. 
Scott, Sir Walter, his story of two re- 
latives who joined the Pretender, 96, 

97. 
Seceder, an old, would not enter parish 

church, 205. 
Secession Church, professor in, to a 

young student, 205. 
Sermons, change of character, 32. 
Servant and dog Pickle at Yester, 76. 
Servant, answer of, to his irascible 

master, 71. 
Servant, answer of, when told to go, 71. 
Servant and Lord Lothian, 75. 
Servant, Mrs. Murray, and the spoon, 

73- 
Servant of Mrs. Ferguson of Pitfour, 

83. 
Servant of Mrs. Fullerton of Montrose, 

83. 
Servant, old, reason for doing as he 

liked, 84. 
Servant taxed with being drunk, his 

answer, 173. 
Servants, domestic Scottish, 69, 
Shirra, Rev. Mr., and member of his 

church who had left him, 216. 
Shirra, Rev. Mr., on David saying 
"All men are liars," 215. 
Shirra, Seceding minister of Kirkcaldy, 

215. 
Shot, a bad one, complimented on suc- 
cess, 178. 



INDEX. 



267 



Siddons, Mrs., respected by Edinburgh ] 

clergy, 93. i 

Singing, foreign idea of, by Scotch 

servant, 239. 
Sins, Aberdeen mother proud of, 124. 
Skinner, Bishop, and Aberdeen old 

woman, 230. 
Skinner, John, Jacobitism of, 45. 
Skinner, John, of Langside, his defence 

of prayer-book, 175. 
Skinner, Rev. John, author of several 

Scottish .songs, 224. 
Skinner, Rev. John, lines on his grand- 
son leaving Montrose, 225. 
Skinner, Rev. John, old, passing an 

anti-burgher chapel, 225. 
Skinner, Rev. John, well known in 

Aberdeenshire, 224. 
Sleeping in church, 27 
Sleeping in church, and snuffing, xxxiii. 
Slockin'd, never, apology for drinking, 

205. 
Smith, Sydney, opinion of Scottish wit, 

158. 
Smuggler, case of one in church, 204. 
Snuff-box handed round in Episcopal 

congregations, 241. 
Snuff, grand accommodation for, xx. 
Snuff, pulpit soupit for, 67. 
Snuff, taking, 66. 
Soldier, an old, of the 42d, cautious 

about the name of Graham, 235. 
Songs, drinking, 61. 
Sovereign, when new coin, a curiosity, 

233- 
Speir, daft Will, and Earl of Eglinton, 

192, 195. 
Speir, daft Will, answer to master about 

his dinner, 195. 
Spinster, elderly, arch reply to, by a 

younger member, 104. 
Stipend, ministers, reasons against their 

being large, 178. 
Stirling, of Keir, evidence in favour of, 

by the miller of Keir, 44. 
Stirling, of Keir, lecture on Proverbs, 

143, 144. 
StraVon, wife's desire to be buried in, 

25- 

Strikes, answer upon, by a master, 179. 

Stewart, Rev. Patrick, sermon con- 
sumed by mice, xxii. 

Stone removed out of the way, xxi. 

Stool, a three-legged, thrown at hus- 
band by wife, 213. 

Sunday sometimes included in Satur- 
day's drinking party, 61. 

Suppers once prevalent in Scotland, 61. 

Sutherland, Colonel Sandy, his dislike 
to the French, 229. 



Sutherland, Duke of, funeral of, 55. 
Swearing, by Laird of Fizean, 11. 
Swearing, by Perth writer, 10. 
Swearing common in Scotland formerly. 

Swine, dislike of, in Scotland, 41. 
Swinephobia, reasons for, 41. 
Sydney Smith, remarks of, on 7fien not 
at church, 9. 

Tailor, apology for his clothes not 
fitting, 235. 

Taylor, Mr., of London, description of 
his theatre by his father from Aber- 
deen, 122. 

Term-time offensive to Scottish Lairds, 
171. 

Texts, remarks upon, 31. 

Theatre, clergy used to attend, 1847, 

39- 

Theatre, Mr. Murray's complaint of 
clerical non-attendance, 40. 

"Thirdly and lastly," fell over the 
pulpit stairs, 231. 

Thomson, Thomas, described in Aber- 
deen dialect, 122. 

Thomson, two of the name prayed for, 
204. 

Thrift, examples of, in medicine, 

.253- 
Tibbie, eccentric servant, anecdote of, 

81. 
Tiger and skate, stories of, xix. 
Toasts after dinner, 57, 58. 
Toasts, collection of, in the book ** The 

(ientleman's New Bottle Companion, ' 

60. 
Toasts or sentiments, specimens of, 58, 

59- 
Tourist, English, asking Scottish gir 

for horse-flies, 228, 
Town-Council, ''profit, but not hon- 
our," 10^. 
Tractarianism, idea of, by an old 

Presbyterian, 11. 
"Travel from Genesis to Revelation" 

and not footsore, 222. 
Traveller's story, treatment of, xix. 
Tulloch, David, Jacobite anecdote of, 

at prayers, 45. 
Turkey leg, devilled, and servant, 

83. 

Unbeliever, described by Scotch 
lady, 100. 
j Innkeeper's bill, reason for being 
moderate, 182. 

I View of things, Scottish matter of 
I fact, 162, 163. 



268 



INDEX. 



Waverley Novels, dedication of, to 

George IV., 4. 
Waverley, old lady discovering the 

author of, 179. 
Webster, Rev. Dr., a five-bottle man, 

64- . . 

West, going, ridiculous application of, 

Q3- 
Whisky limited, blame of, 22. 
" Whited Sepulchres," applied to clergy 

in surplices, Inverness, xxvi. 
Wife, cool opinion of, by husband, 

xix. 
Wife, rebuke of, by minister, 213. 



Wife taken by her husband to Banchory, 

231. 
Wig of professor in Secess on Church, 

205. 
Williamson the huntsman, and Duke 

of Lauderdale, i86. 
Wilson, Scottish vocalist, modesty of, 

102. 
Wind, Scotch ministers prayer for, 26. 
Wolves and the piper, xvi. 
Wool, modifications of, 94. 

Yeddie, Daft, remark on a club-foot, 
199- 



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88 PRINCES STREET, EDINBURGH. 11 



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14 EDMONSTON AND DOUGLAS, 

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18 EDMONSTON AND DOUGLAS, 



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